Chapter 9 – Not a Dirty Little Secret

Once inside the crypt, Spike and Buffy washed off the gore that covered them and inspected each other for new injuries. Spike had a few fading lines from where the crowd of vamps had piled on and started ripping into him, but for both of them, everything had basically healed already. Buffy kissed an especially large mark on Spike’s flank where the flesh had been gouged out. As she stood up, Spike backed her against the wall and lowered his lips to her throat, nuzzling and nibbling along her carotid artery. “Do you believe me, then? Do you understand that I love YOU, Buffy? Not just the slayer part of you, but ALL of you. You’re one to me.”

“Yes, William, I believe you. Now shut up and kiss me,” she panted. His talented lips had already started a fire in her belly. Flipping away from the wall, Buffy reversed their positions and pushed Spike’s back against it as she pulled his head to her. Meeting his lips, she thrust inside to taste him passionately. A few moments later, however, Buffy reluctantly pulled away. “You told Giles we’d check back with him. Need to do that before we get too sidetracked, or he’ll be leading the gang over here to find out what’s wrong.” She brushed his seeking hands away and hopped down through the empty coffin that led to his bedroom. Grabbing their clothing that was lying by the bed, she leapt back to the upper level. After tossing Spike’s clothes to him, they dressed quickly and left.

At Giles’ apartment, Buffy gave a quick knock on the door and led Spike inside. They found the watcher pacing the floor. Books were scattered around the room. They hadn’t been able to hold his attention. Looking up, he frowned at them. “You all right, Buffy? I-I was considering coming over to check on you.”

Buffy glanced significantly at her vampire and said, “Sure. Sorry I worried you, Giles. I just kind of shut down for awhile there. I was so afraid that with the chip gone, I’d have to...”

“Yes, yes. I know. Buffy, do you understand the consequences of this? How could you let it happen? And you hated him!” Rupert Giles, a watcher of extraordinarily high intelligence and talent, was well aware that his arguments were futile, that it was too late; but he couldn’t keep himself from uttering them anyway. He had looked up the particulars of a vampire mating, and now knew exactly what had happened between them to cause it.

“Apparently I was in denial land about the hate-age,” Buffy smiled wryly. Catching the watcher’s glare at the vampire, she continued, “Now don’t blame Spike, Giles. It was my doing. He tried to talk me out of feeding him, told me it was dangerous, but I wouldn’t take no for an answer. We need him strong to protect Dawn from Glory! And then I caused the mating. It’s all MY fault.”

“Not all of it, Slayer, there were two of us there...” Spike tried to cut in, but Buffy wouldn’t let him shoulder the blame. “For all intents and purposes, it was my fault. And I’m not sorry.” She smiled softly up at her lover, “I’m glad.” Cupping his jaw tenderly, she repeated, “I’m glad.” Spike gazed at her in wonder and felt that his heart might burst with joy. Just twenty-four hours ago, he would never have believed that she’d be looking at him with love today. Everything he’d gone through from the beginning of time was worth it for this moment.

Giles cleared his throat, uncomfortable with witnessing the intense emotion passing between the two. To defuse the moment he asked about something that had been bothering him. He cringed from the intrusiveness of the question; knew it was private, and they might not tell him, but the watcher in him had a bad feeling about it, and he had to know. “Did you drink her blood from a cup?”

Spike stared expressionlessly at Giles, offended that he would ask something so personal. Rupert forced himself to persist. “If not, how did you do it without setting the chip off?” When it became obvious that the vampire wasn’t going to answer, he turned to his slayer.

She had been studying Spike’s poker face, and flashed him an irritated glance about the other women before admitting to her watcher, “He’d found a way to get around the chip. As long as she was distracted with...well with pleasure when he bit her, the chip didn’t fire.” Giles gasped and lunged at Spike in rage. “Giles!” Buffy cried, throwing herself between them, “He warned me about THAT ahead of time, too! So don’t go all outraged father on him!” Unable to stop in time, Giles plowed into Buffy, with an “ooff” as he hit the immovable wall of her body.

Thoroughly entertained, Spike laughed and said, “I can take care of myself, pet, you needn’t protect me; though I’m flattered that you want to.”

“Pardon me, Buffy,” Giles said, reaching out to steady her, then seeing that she didn’t need it, patted her briefly to assure himself that she was O.K. before dropping his hands. He cleared his throat, then became lightheaded as the implications of this new revelation that even chipped, Spike had been able to feed, filled his mind. Sitting down, his voice shaking from the surge of adrenalin, the watcher asked, “So you’ve been draining people all this time, even with the chip?”

“Not draining. Just a few sips here and there, and not even that since I fell for Buffy. Like I told her, the little darlings get clingy, and I haven’t been interested in anyone but her for some time now.”

Rubbing his forehead tiredly, Giles thought, ‘What fools we’ve all been yet again; dangerous indeed.’ “Yes, well, back to the mating. Buffy, The Council won’t allow this, you know.”

“Yeah. I saw your and Spike’s conversation about it. I’ll give the wankers...oops, didn’t mean to steal your word there, Spike,” Buffy paused as her vampire barked with laughter again and nodded approvingly at her. “I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt, but we’ll put some plans in place, just in case.”

Spike moved restlessly. They’d reassured the watcher, now it was time to go back to his crypt. He wanted her again. Giving Buffy a telling glance, he nodded towards the door. She shook her head at him minutely, and turned back to the watcher.

“Giles, there’s one thing I haven’t told you yet. I think you should know about it.” She concentrated and her incisors dropped.

Giles jumped up and cried, “Dear Lord!” He stared in shock at her deadly fangs for a few moments, then registered that she had no facial deformities. Calming, he reached out to take his slayer’s hand, palpated her pulse and cradled her hand in both of his to check her skin temperature. “Your eyes are still green. Fascinating,” he concluded and sat back down.

“O.K., Spock. You’re taking it better than I thought you would. Better than I did, actually,” Buffy said, bemused.

Spike had tensed when the watcher jumped up and reached for her, but not sensing an overt threat, hadn’t objected. He relaxed again as Giles returned to his seat. “Could’ve been a tad more gentle with watcher boy in the telling, love,” he grinned, “I’d rate you an eight out of ten for good shock value,” he chuckled, impressed with the watcher’s steady nerves, and relieved that Rupert hadn’t flown off the handle again.

“I assume this is a slayer engendered enhancement?” Giles asked, still studying her.

“English, Giles. Please,” Buffy said. Spike smiled gently at her, and catching the watcher’s eye, nodded. Retracting her incisors, Buffy looked from one of them to the other, and shrugged. “Sorry. I was afraid you’d be horrified, and it just seemed that showing you was the fastest way to get it over with.

“I didn’t think I’d be able to stand to use them, you know. I mean, talk about major ick factor, demon goo in my mouth?! But Spike and I, well we got ambushed by a bunch of vamps before we came over here, and the fangs dropped automatically. I used them without even thinking about it. I’m not sure how I feel about that now, but in the middle of the battle...” she shrugged, unsure how to finish.

“That’s good. They’ll be most valuable to you if using them comes naturally,” her watcher surprised Buffy by saying. She hadn’t expected him to be at all supportive about her new secret weapon. “You finished off all your attackers though, didn’t you?” Giles asked, concerned that a rumor might already be spreading around the demon world about the fanged slayer. If the Council got wind of that, they’d know immediately what had happened.

“We did,” Spike nodded and answered shortly.

Giles had them recount the details of the brawl with him as he took notes. He approved of their increased speed and strength and shook his head with a smile over Spike’s arm bashing. “Yes. This will certainly help defend against Glory!” he concluded. “Perhaps, if we can keep the Council unaware, your mating will be a positive thing. With that in mind, you shouldn’t tell your friends about the fangs, Buffy, the mating, or even your association with Spike, for that matter. It all needs to be kept on a need to know basis.”

“I agree about the fangs, but I’m not going to treat my relationship with Spike like a dirty little secret, Giles,” Buffy said, irritated that he would even suggest it. “The Scoobies and the Council both knew about Angel, they can handle Spike.”

“Buffy, you don’t seem to realize the danger here. The Council exterminates mated slayer/vampire pairs! They must be kept from finding out about you and Spike. The safest way to do that is to continue on as you have been. Don’t let anyone know things have changed. They’ll likely take the news about Spike worse than they did about Angel, and believe me, that was no picnic, trying to explain that association to them. Angel had a soul. Spike doesn’t, as far as they’re concerned. I doubt they’ll consider a chip an acceptable substitute.”

“Perhaps he’s right, love.” Spike said, pain filling his heart at the thought of not being able to share his love with her openly. He could see a downward spiral ahead. The longer they denied each other, the more they would wound each other, and the more she would pull away from him. But on the other hand, “Your safety is the most important thing,” he said aloud.

Giles gave Spike a startled, approving look. It would take awhile to get used to the idea that Buffy really did come first with the vampire.

“And how long will we keep it a secret, huh, Spike? Will we sneak around as if we’re ashamed forever, Giles?” Buffy demanded of them angrily.

The watcher wasn’t able to meet his slayer’s irate eyes. “Indefinitely would be the safest way to go.”

“The safest way isn’t always the right way. I’m not hiding Spike! It would be wrong,” she said emphatically. She’d seen the pain in Spike’s eyes when he agreed with the watcher. There was no way she was going to hurt him like that. They’d find another way.

Well acquainted with his slayer’s unreasonable stubbornness, Giles sighed. “Very well. But you know how your friends will react, especially after Angel. You can’t inform them of the mating, Buffy, so you won’t be able to tell them why they don’t need to worry,” He gave her a stern look. “And as for the Council, they’ll be looking for signs of a mating if they find out that you’re consorting with another vampire. At least be discreet. When you two were under Willow’s spell, you were nauseatingly free with your affections. If you do that again, they’ll be knocking on your door within a week. Please be prudent this time.”

“Fine. But I’m not hiding Spike from the gang,” she reiterated. “You’d think that spell would’ve clued me in on my feelings, wouldn’t you? Even my dreams tried to tell me, but I was so determined that it was wrong, that I just couldn’t love a soulless demon that I was clueless. And I hate being clueless! It makes me so damn mad! And he isn’t even soulless! Why has the Council lied to us about that?” She was almost shouting by the time she finished.

Giles cleared his throat and told her that it was a matter of philosophy. Traditional human philosophy just doesn’t recognize non-human souls.

“Well, traditional human philosophy is stupid,” she pouted, mourning for the slights she had given Spike over being soulless.

The tightness in Spike’s chest eased as he realized she wasn’t going to let him be pushed into a closet. He put his arms around Buffy and kissed her softly, calmingly, moving to gently touch her cheeks, temples and forehead with his lips. With his actions he told her that it was O.K. Everything was O.K. She loved him and that was all that mattered.

“Secrets have a way of outing themselves, Watcher. Even if the other kiddies were blind, Anya would have sniffed us out sooner or later. She wasn’t a vengeance demon for a thousand years without learning a thing or two. We’ll be ready for the Council dicks if and when they come,” Spike assured him as they left.

Turning back to his books, Rupert Giles shook his head, thinking they were foolish to be so sure they could handle the Council.

Tbc…