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Chapter 26


Spike sat on the floor and pressed his fingers to his still tingling lips. His mind still reeled with the knowledge that for a second she’d been kissing him back. His Buffy. So many things had changed but the way she made him feel with a single caress defied the more than two years of separation. How long had he hoped for being close to her again?


So long. An eternity.


He collapsed on his back and stared at the ceiling. He knew it didn’t mean they were back together, or that she’d forgiven him. The most likely option was that he’d caught her unaware, and she did bolt out of his flat as if her feet were on fire. But nothing could spoil the way his skin buzzed, or how her scent still lingered in the air around him.


Nothing except… Spike sat up and frowned. She’d looked so scared before running out on him. He suddenly realized how much power he held over her, how much he could hurt her.


He’d do anything necessary to prevent that.


*******


“So how did it go?” Faith’s voice drifted from where she was sitting on the floor, tapping the tip of her pencil on an open book.


Buffy dropped down next to her and snatched the pencil. “Are you doing homework?”


“The question is, are you avoiding my question?”


“No.” Buffy pouted. “Maybe.”


“I knew it. Oh my God… you didn’t screw the vamp, did you?”


“What? Of course not. What kind of a slayer do you think I am?”


“A way too innocent one, I’d say. The whole forced celibacy thing must be a bitch, even for you.”


Buffy threw the pencil at her. “Not all of us are sex maniacs.”


Faith smirked. “At least I’m getting me some. It’s fun, you know.”


“N-no it’s not. It’s all… serious and stuff. And very much with the scary. Besides, I’ll probably die a virgin anyway so it won’t be an issue.”


“Hey, now there’s no way I’ll let you talk like that. You know I got your back, B. You’ll die all wrinkly and rheumatic and reminiscing your slutty days, don’t worry.”


Buffy snorted. “Sounds lovely.”


“So… how did it go?”


“You’re not letting go of this, are you?”


“Not a chance in hell. Now spill before I start making up my own less G-rated assumptions.”


Buffy threw up her hands in the air and sighed. “Alright, alright. No need to threaten me.” She picked up the book and thumbed mindlessly through the pages a she mumbled, “He kissed me.”


“Oh. Well… did you kiss him back?”


“I… might have. B-but then I realized what I was doing and kinda… fled.”


“Chicken.”


“Hey! Am not. I just got scared… okay, so I’m a big chicken. You can’t tell Giles though. He’d look at me with that look… all disappointed and Giles-y. No need to make me feel even more guilty.”


“My lips are sealed.” Faith gazed at her from beneath her lashes and the corner of her lips lifted in a teasing smile. “So what was it like?”


Buffy buried her face in the couch cushions for a second, her cheeks burning. “It was… hot. And sad. And it felt as if he wanted to devour me… Very intense.”


“Yeah, him being a vamp… he probably did want to devour you.”


Buffy threw a pillow at her head. “Shut up.”


“So you two are what… together?”


“No! Not a chance in hell. It was just… a momentary lapse of judgment. He took me by surprise and then his lips… God, this is so, so messed up.”


“Are you saying you don’t want to do it again. At all?”


“Nope. He won’t get past my defenses again.”


“You’re not a fortress, Buffy,” Faith said with a chuckle, covering by pretending to cough when Buffy shot a glare in her direction.


*******


The next day, Buffy just finished patrolling and was about to open the front door when it swung open, revealing a very flustered Giles.


“Buffy, finally.”


“Umm… hello to you too?” She closed the door behind her. “So what’s up? Don’t see fire anywhere.”


“This is not the time to joke.” Giles threw a glance in the direction of the sofa. “Y-you need to go to the drugstore.”


“Oookay. Wanna tell me what’s this all about?”


Then Faith peeked from her position on the sofa. “Giles here is terrified of buying feminine products.”


“I resent that. I-it’s just not proper to… oh, bugger. I’ll give you ten quid if you go instead of me.”


Buffy snickered. “Twenty.”


“Deal.” Giles sighed and took the money out of his wallet to hand it to her.


Buffy turned to Faith. “Weren’t there some pads in the bathroom cupboard?”


“I hate those and no, there aren’t any. Already checked.”


Buffy nodded. “Yeah hate them too. Tampons are so much better.”


“Dear Lord,” Giles muttered and took off his glasses to thoroughly clean the lenses. “Please go, Buffy.”


She and Faith shared an amused glance and she was off.


*******


Buffy cursed as she wandered around the local supermarket. She could kill half a dozen vampires in a few minutes, but to find one measly item in a supermarket took her more than half an hour. These chain stores just had to be owned by someone evil. She ended up buying too many things that she hadn’t even planned on purchasing.


“Well… ice-cream is kind of a must,” she mumbled to justify it and breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of the feminine products aisle.


She searched for the brand they both used and took it from the shelf. Just as she turned with a box of tampons in her hand, the basket in the other, someone bumped into her and she dropped the box. She faced the person, ready to apologize, when her brain processed who was standing in front of her.


“Uh… hi,” Spike said and glanced down at the fallen item on the floor.


She could feel the heat rise in her cheeks. Even knowing that buying such things was a normal thing for a woman, she still wished the floor would open up and swallow her. She chose the exact same moment as him to bend down to retrieve it, and their skulls met with a painful clunk.


“Ow!” They both exclaimed.


Spike sent her an apologetic look before he picked up the box and they both stood up.


“Here. Sorry I made you drop it.”


She snatched the box out of his hands. Would the embarrassment never cease?


“Thanks… umm… they’re not… mine.” And why did she feel the need to elaborate? Not only did she act like a complete spaz, she still stood there engaging him in a conversation. Didn’t she promise herself to pretend he didn’t mean anything to her? She had to stop staring at his lips too.


“Yeah… eh… kinda figured.”


“Wait. What? How would you-”


“Err… Just a lucky guess.”


She kept staring at him, deciding if she should go with it or not.


“Oh. Okay. Good guess then.”


“Yeah, so… this is awkward.” He chuckled slightly, and she smiled before she realized she wasn’t supposed to do that. But he just looked so… vulnerable. And cuddly. Damn him.


“So why are you here?”


He hid his arms behind his back in a nonchalant way so she wouldn’t see, and now she really needed to know. What if it was something sinister? It was her duty to find out what he was hiding.


“Uh… I came here to buy… cigs! Yeah, nothing better than a good smoke.”


“You don’t smoke.”


“I do actually… not like I have to worry about lung cancer.” He winced and her whole body twitched with the need to embrace him.


She remembered his mother had died because of that exact illness and it obviously still bothered him. Why couldn’t he make it easy and be just like every other vampire? Why did he have to act so… human?


“So yeah… ‘S a habit I picked up after…”


Buffy avoided his intense gaze and instead turned her attention to the basket in her hand. She dropped the box of tampons on top of an ice-cream container and chanced a glance in his direction.


“I’m just going to... need to pay for the stuff, and Faith is waiting for me so-”


“Faith? Your roommate? She still with you?”


“Yes. We’ve become good friends since-”


“Right.”


Buffy worried her bottom lip with her teeth and was about to walk to the cash register when she noticed his uneasy expression, his hands still hidden behind his back. She got suspicious.


“After you,” she said.


He looked so terribly uncomfortable that it confused her even more. What was so embarrassing about buying a pack of cigarettes? It wasn’t as if he hadn’t already told her he way buying them.


As he passed her, he managed to slip his hands quickly to the front, obviously hiding something from her.


'Okay, what the hell is going on here?'


She followed him straight to the cash register and he threw a glance over his shoulder before he put it on the conveyor with a deep sigh.


A box of chocolates.


“Who’re the chocolates for?” And she did not just sound jealous.


He shuffled his feet and handed the money to the overly perky clerk that put the chocolates into a plastic bag for him.


“It was… for you,” he mumbled and shot her a quick glance.


She knew her mouth was very unattractively hanging open, but she couldn’t seem to close it. “Me?”


This was not good at all. Did he think they would just pick up where they left off? Didn’t he realize she couldn’t do that? That she couldn’t bear the weight of his actions as well as the weight of the whole world? And now he was gazing at her with those eyes full of hope, and she wished she was strong enough to end this.


“I-I can’t,” she said and gave the clerk the money before she took the bags and fled.


Again.


*******


Buffy wriggled out of her tight jeans and pulled off her black tank top before she tossed it over the chair. She walked over to her dresser and yanked open the drawer, rummaging through it in the search of a loose t-shirt she could sleep in.


When she finally found one, she put it on top of the dresser and reached behind her to undo the clasp of her bra. She let it slide down her arms before throwing it on top of the pile of clothes.


“Now panties,” she said and lifted two pairs in her hand. “Lace or silk? Hmm… silk it is.”


Shaking her head at talking to herself, Buffy slipped out of her panties and proceeded to slide the silky black ones up her legs. Indulging in fancy underwear and shoes was a bit of a guilty pleasure. And with the weekly allowance from the Council, there wasn’t a reason why she shouldn’t.


She had just put on the t-shirt when there was a tap on her window. She jumped, not as much from fear as it was from surprise. Nobody had ever knocked on her window before, even if her room was on the ground level. Surely no demon would be stupid enough to seek her out?


Grabbing a stake just to be sure, Buffy walked to the window and yanked open the curtain. She opened the window and stared incredulously at the person on the other side.


“What are you doing here? Do you realize it’s three o’clock in the morning? And how did you even find me?”


“Wasn’t all that difficult. You found where I live, didn’t you?”


“Eh… that still doesn’t explain why you’re here!”


Spike raked his eyes over her and she suddenly realized how little she was wearing. She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m waiting.”


“Yeah, right… sorry, just got distracted.”


“Mind out of the gutter, please?”


“Right. Umm… we need to talk.”


“No we don’t. You need to leave before you push me past the limits of my patience.”


“But-”


“Spike!”


“Buffy.” He licked his bottom lip. “Invite me in?”


TBC


Author's note: Would you invite him in?? ;)