A/N: Beta'd by dawnofme and Mabel Marsters.





Gorgeous banner by xaphania.

Chapter 34


As soon as Spike entered the hospital, all the foul odors assaulted him and he was glad he didn’t need to breathe. The underlying smell of blood didn’t help his mood either and he bit back the hunger. All the grand plans he’d made to help Buffy’s friend didn’t include the information on where exactly Faith was. That was when luck stepped in, saving him from trying to charm the frigid looking nurse at the station into divulging the information.


“Did you do the check up on Miss Lehane today?”


As soon as the name drifted to Spike’s ears, he inconspicuously approached the doctor and nurse that were discussing Faith’s situation.


The doctor sighed. “Yes. There are no signs of improvement, and the longer she stays in the coma, the lesser is the chance of her making it out undamaged.”


“Her sister and father were here earlier today. They seem like such nice people. I just feel sorry for them,” the nurse said and glanced down at her clipboard. “Well, I better get moving. I need to replace Miss Lehane’s IV bag.”


Spike tuned out the ending of their conversation and followed the nurse, being careful to keep some distance so she wouldn’t notice. Being a vampire proved to be useful at sneaking around and avoiding any unwanted attention. He waited for the nurse to leave the room before he slipped in.


Faith was white as a sheet, and for a moment he thought it wasn’t her and he’d gotten the wrong room after all. But then he got closer and studied the familiar features, shocked to discover it was indeed the girl he remembered from school as being fearless and shameless. It was hard to recognize her without the make-up and an impish smile.


He reached his hand into the pocket of his duster and closed his fingers around a small vial before drawing it out. The violet fluid sloshed around as he uncorked it and sniffed the contents. It didn’t smell bad.


The witch had told him to inject it into the IV bag so it would get straight into Faith’s bloodstream. He frowned; not really believing such a small amount could do anything to help, but pulled a needle out of his pocket anyway. The healing potion concentrated on connecting the mind with the body. It brought inner strength to the surface, the witch had said as she glanced at him from beneath the curtain of her honey blonde hair, those doe like eyes full of sincerity.


Magic wasn’t something he trusted, but hearing the earlier conversation solidified his decision to do this.


Faith had nothing to lose.


Either it worked or she’d just stay a vegetable. With a decisive nod, Spike grasped the syringe with a needle attached to it and pulled the cap off. Then he stuck the needle into the vial and pulled the violet liquid into it. He tapped the needle a few times and pressed to squeeze the air out of it, which was followed by a small stream erupting from the tip.


After stepping closer the bed, Spike stuck the needle into valve on the IV bag and depressed the plunger, watching as the violet liquid blended in with the transparent IV before it disappeared into her vein. For a moment, his eyes zeroed in on the heartbeat throbbing beneath the skin of her inner arm, his mouth turning dry at the sound of blood being pumped.


Faith didn’t stir.


Spike’s sensitive hearing picked up voices and he quickly left the room, hoping the potion would work.


*******


Buffy was having the worst day ever. Their math professor decided it would be nice to give the students a surprise test to see how they were grasping the current material. Needless to say, Buffy presented the teacher with a blank paper, earning herself a stern look of disapproval.


So she didn’t have the time to study. It was pretty understandable with all that was going on in her life right now. But fate seemed to be laughing at her misfortune and things only got worse when she and Giles went to visit Faith. Not only was she the same, but Buffy spilled a cup of coffee all over her favourite top.


Now she was taking it off and scowled at the also ruined bra. With a growl she tossed them into the washing machine and put on a black tank top. Black was exactly the colour to match her mood.


Finally glad she was potentially safe of any disasters, Buffy trudged into the living room, collapsed on the sofa with a sigh and turned on the TV. That was the moment Giles called out from the kitchen.


“Buffy? You’ve got a call!”


She frowned and went to take it from Giles’ grasp, voicing a silent question with her eyes. Who could possibly be calling her? He just shrugged and disappeared into his study.


“Hello?”


“Buffy? Is that really you?”


The phone just about fell from her suddenly sweaty grasp. “Mom?”


“Oh, Buffy! I found you. I was so worried when I couldn’t reach you at the school and then I was told it had been closed. Where are you? And who’s this Rupert Giles?”


Buffy slid down the wall and clutched the phone closer to her ear, her eyes overflowing with tears. “M-mom?”


“Are you okay? Tell me what happen-” Her voice cut off suddenly and all Buffy could hear was heavy breathing.


“What’s wrong? Are you still there? Mom?”


“I-I have to go,” she whispered and before Buffy could reply, the line went dead.


After a few minutes she managed to stand up and hang up the phone with trembling hands. Her mother had found her. How? Why now? And why despite everything she’d done to Buffy, all the times she’d hurt her with words and lack of action in the face of Ted’s abuse, all Buffy could think of was wishing she could hug her? She so desperately wanted to stay angry but she knew that if her mother asked, Buffy would forgive her.


And what had happened to make her mother hang up? Was it Ted? Did he… Buffy didn’t want to think about it. She tried before, to have her mother see sense and leave, but she couldn’t help someone who didn’t want to be helped.


'Oh yes, this day is definitely getting better and better.'


*******


Later that night, Buffy tossed a biology textbook on the floor, glad that Giles wasn’t nearby to scold her for the inappropriate treatment of books. She couldn’t concentrate, her mind whirled too fast so she picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number.


“Yeah?”


Buffy propped herself against the headboard, her voice shaking as she said, “Hi.”


“How are you doing? Getting a break from studying for the bio exam?”


She opened her mouth to speak, but hearing his deep comforting voice did nothing but add to the lump growing in her throat. Embarrassed, she realized she’d probably start crying and contemplated hanging up on him so he wouldn’t know. But she so badly needed someone to tell her all would be okay.


“Luv? You there?”


She squeezed her eyes shut and took in a shuddering breath, wiping uselessly at the tears falling down her cheeks. She tried to reply him again, but all that came out of her mouth was a strangled sob.


“What’s wrong? Buffy? Are you crying?”


She pressed her lips together before letting out a breath so she could speak. “N-no.”


“Yes, you are… Did something happen? Do you want me to come?”


The dam threatened to burst open at his kind words, the concern in his voice too much to bear as all the events of the horrible day cumulated together, but she held it back. Barely.


“N-no, it’s… fine. Just n-needed to… hear you.”


“I’ll stop by, yeah? You know I can’t stand it when you cry. You’re killing me here.”


“P-please don’t. I’m just being… silly.” She sniffed. “I had a day from hell, t-that’s all.”


“If you don’t want me to come, then at least… come see me instead. You know the address. I’ll make you tea and you can tell me what bugger made my girl sad so I can give them a piece of my mind.”


The chauvinistic display of testosterone actually made her feel a bit better even if she prided herself on being independent.


“Tomorrow. Can I come tomorrow?”


“You don’t have to ask. Skip the exam and visit.”


She laughed a little. “You’re a bad influence.”


“I prefer to think of it as a good influence. Remember that time when you made me sneak into the kitchens with you? Now that was bad. We almost got caught by that old cow.”


“But we had fun, didn’t we?”


“Course. God, you could have talked me into doing anything for you. You still can.”


Buffy opened the drawer of her nightstand and pulled out a handkerchief. Then she blew her nose. Loudly. On the other end of the line, she heard Spike chuckle.


“Do you feel a bit better now?”


“A little.”


“Wanna tell me what happened today?”


If she began talking about it she’d just end up crying like a baby. “I’ll tell you later, okay?”


“Whenever you want,” he said kindly and fell silent for a moment before he whispered, “I love you.”


She froze even as the words blanketed her with warmth. Even with the distance, the tension as he waited for her to say something was suffocating and she panicked.


“Umm... I-I… gotta go.” She quickly disconnected the call.


Her heart pounded against her ribcage and as she dropped the phone on the bedspread, overwhelming feeling of guilt stretched in her chest. 'Gotta go?' Was that really all she said? She should have told him how she felt! Now he probably sat or stood there, staring at the phone, feeling as if she stomped all over his heart. Buffy knew without a shadow of any doubt that there was still William sheltered inside and she knew him well. Knew how insecure he was, how every little word or lack of it could cut him deeply.


She had to see him, had to tell him because she couldn’t stand the thought of hurting him.


Swiftly rising from the bed, Buffy kicked off her sweats and yanked a pair of jeans up her legs before snatching a jacket and running out the house.


*******


Spike was just striding down a small park near his home when the phone rang. When he realized it was a very upset Buffy calling him, he’d gotten so distracted he forgot why he was out in the first place. Then --the naïve fool he was-- the confession of love was passing his lips before he could think otherwise and he’d be damned twice if the whole thing hadn’t blown up in his face.


He had promised himself to keep his mouth shut about the feelings inside until he was sure she felt the same now that they had gotten closer. But could she ever? Things were different. He was a vampire and she the Slayer. How could he possibly think there was a chance she’d love him like she used to? He was a monster and she may have forgiven him, even shown him acceptance but her reply and disconnecting the call told him everything he needed to know.


Buffy didn’t love him. Not anymore.


His face twisted into a grimace as the tears burned the back of his eyelids, but he clenched his jaw and inhaled harshly through his nostrils to keep them at bay. He wouldn’t cry, it wasn’t who he was now. For the hundredth time, it occurred to him that Dru and Darla had turned him wrong. Why couldn’t he just turn the humanity off like a badly tuned radio?


A curse echoed somewhere off to his side, carrying to his sensitive hearing even through the thick trees separating the two sidewalks. He spun around, his face melting to that of the demon. Someone was there. Someone human, their blood pumping hot and rich beneath their supple skin.


His stomach growled.


Immediately, Spike melted into the shadows as he weaved around the trees, the hunger that had been plaguing him all day quickening his steps. There she was. His prey. The young woman’s nervous eyes darted around and she adjusted the straps of her purse as they slipped down her shoulder, the heels of her shoes clicking loudly on the concrete in the empty park.


His excitement rose with each passing step, the demon in him restless as he drew near and she tossed a worried glance over her shoulder. This was the moment he loved the most, the anticipation before he sank his teeth into their struggling bodies. He could almost smell her perfume now, something sweet and flowery.


Sensing his presence on a deep primal level even if she couldn’t see him yet, the woman lengthened her steps as much as she could wearing high heels and a tight pencil skirt. In her haste, the heel of her shoe got stuck in the crack of the pavement and she stumbled, falling down on her hands and knees. The smell of blood permeated the air around, making the saliva rush into his mouth.


Before she could stand up, he leaped from the shadows and tackled her to the ground. They rolled around until Spike ended on top, straddling her hips. The woman opened her mouth to scream but he slammed a hand on her mouth to muffle the sound, ignoring her clawing fingers.


“Shhh, none of that. If you’re silent, I’ll let you live.”


He’d let her live anyway but she didn’t need to know that. The way her eyes widened in fear caused a grin to stretch across his face and almost pushed him past the line of self control. She ceased her struggles and he locked his hand around her wrist before bringing it to his lips.


He bit hard and deep, loved how the skin broke beneath his fangs before she gasped against his palm as he greedily drew a mouthful of blood. It was warm and nothing could ever compare to the feeling as the life slid down his throat to silence the demon within. This was what he needed, the rush of it, the invigorating sense of being alive.


Spike hadn’t even realized how truly starved he was until he heard the slowing heartbeat of the woman beneath him and he pulled his fangs out of her wrist, staring up at her heavy lidded eyes. Small droplets of rain fell down and splashed against his nose.


That he heard it. A gasp. A litany of denial from the lips he’d kissed not so long ago. He knew it was her even before he turned around and saw her pale face, the disbelief in her eyes as she glimpsed the blood still trickling down his fangs.


TBC


A/N: Mwahaha!