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West of the Moon, East of the Sun by KnifeEdge
 
Chapter 38: Long Time Jerk
 
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Author’s Note: This chapter covers the same time period as Chapter 6.

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all recognizable characters, locations, and dialogue belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the various writers. Show writers and any other quoted authors have been credited in individual chapters. I'm making no money from this—it is purely in the name of fun.

Betaed by Phuriedae*
*because Spike is English, I’ve made a rather anal retentive attempt to spell things “properly.” My beta (who IS British), has asked that I include the following disclaimer: “Any Britpicking mistakes are my beta's, because she reads too much fic written by you bloody Americans and is used to your bizarre ways by now."






Chapter 38

Long Time Jerk


7 November 2000

Love watching her on patrol. The way she moves, I could watch her all night. All those high kicks and tight little jabs, neat acrobatic flips—God I miss fighting her. Worst thing this sodding chip did to me was take that away, the pleasure of fighting a Slayer.

Been testing it a little, though, over time. Sussed out a few things. Can't kill humans of course. Can't intentionally hurt them. Gets a little fuzzy if it's an accident. But I can throw punches, so long as I pull them at the last minute. Or intentionally aim where I know it won't land.

Got cornered a few nights ago by some ruddy little frat boys who thought I looked like an easy target. Didn't know I couldn't hurt them, and they got in a couple of lucky punches. I let them. Easy to pick the pocket of the bloke who thinks he's pinning you to a wall and about to pound your face in, innit? Then flash a little fang, throw a couple of well timed blows, duck and roll while they're panicking and laying about with their fists and they end up doing all the work for me. Meanwhile, I vaulted a few stories up and had myself a smoke while I watched them trip over themselves like frightened pups.

May not be able to fight, but I'll be double damned if I let myself play the victim for a bunch of rotten humans again. Had enough of that.

But I truly miss fighting the Slayer. Lately it's all I think about. Well, that and shagging her, if I'm going to be honest. It gets a bit muddled up in my head, the fighting and the shagging, till I'm not sure where one leaves off and the other begins. Caught myself in a right glorious little daydream this afternoon, of the Slayer and I having a bit of a tumble about the crypt. Came round in time to realise I was buried balls deep in Harmony and about three seconds from roaring out the Slayer's name.

If I can't fight her, I can at least watch her fight. Maybe I'll patrol again tonight.

***


7 November 2000 (11 pm)

For once, Harmony proved useful.

Don’t know what set off the Lei-Ach demons, but if they were going after the Slayer, I wanted to watch.

Course, when I got there, I didn't see what I was expecting. Never seen the Slayer fight so… messy. Like she couldn't read her attacker, couldn't hardly see her attackers. Still, gave me a chance to step in and do some violence of my own. Not that I got a 'thank you' out of it.

Lei-Achs are fun to kill, though. Must be those grease-paint looking faces of theirs, puts a smile in your step when you off one. Always figured old Alice Cooper must have seen one before he wrote "Can't Sleep"… Either that, or he is one. Who could tell under all that makeup?

Realised what was up with the Slayer when I made it up to the main room. Turns out good little Tara, the resident white witch, did an invisible demon spell. Fucking hate magic. It's got its uses, I suppose, but these little girls are leashing a tiger and playing with it like it's a kitten. They're going to kill someone someday, if they're not careful.

Pity I didn’t know that spell back when I was trying to kill them all, though. Would’ve come in right handy.

Anyway, I could tell the tossers up at the front of the room were Tara's family straight off. They stank of fear and anger and hate, though. Same stench you get around some churches, come to think of it.

Kept spouting some nonsense about the little witch having demon blood. I've seen half-breeds before. Smelled them. Not a whiff of demon on the dove. She's about as good as they come; a real lady, kind of like the Slayer's mum. One of the few of the lot of them that I’d think twice about killing. Angelus was the one who liked to torment the pure, but not me. Not that I haven't, a time or…

Well, not that I haven't.

Besides, good that strong would probably give me indigestion.

Harris's ex-demon girl caught on to the score before me. Wouldn't be the first time the righteous used the excuse of demon blood or evil to keep their own in line. Knowing the Scoobies, though, they probably would have argued the point for a bleeding eternity before they sussed it out, and as fun as that thought wasn't, I figured I could hurry things up a bit.

Good thing I've been practising pulling my punches, yeah? 'Sides, Tara's got a sweet face. Didn't want to cock it up. Barely tapped her nose.

Still, hurt like hell.

And do I get even a lick of gratitude?

No, not old Spike. Take one for their sodding team and all I get is a few glares.

Slayer'll probably show up tomorrow and kick down my door, punch me in the nose for good measure.

Doesn't mean a chipped vampire can't get in a few kicks of his own. I’ve got to get my evil in somehow, yeah?

I waited round outside for a bit. Didn't take long before Tara's family got routed out of the Magic Box and headed off. Could smell their anger and resentment pouring off of them. They hadn't quite given up on the battle yet. The brother was the worst of the lot. Got some dark urges, that one does. More than a little lust boiling in his kettle.

Waited till they were almost at their RV, then slid out of an alley ahead of them. Pops about cacked himself, then got mad.

"You again," he spat. "Don't you think you and your friends have done enough damage?"

"Don’t have friends," I said. "And not as much damage as I'd like. Meant what I said back there, you're a nice piece of work, the three of you."

I lit up a smoke and watched them shift, uncomfortable with me so near. Prey knows, even if they don't know the predator is leashed, most prey knows on some level when they're near something dangerous.

"What would you know, you… queer freak," said the brother, eyeing my hair and clothes with the kind of contempt only a real redneck can muster. Redneck. Gotta love that word. Described him to a bloody T. All hot and angry, his blood just pounding away, flushing his throat like a ruddy beacon. Made me salivate a bit, it did.

I ever get this chip out, maybe I'll hunt that one down.

I smiled. "I know demons," I said, making it casual-like. "I know evil. Might want to rethink bandying about a story like yours in old Sunnyhell. Someone might decide your bird there would be worth…investigating. And with the reek you three are giving off, you're nothing but walking targets."

"Are you threatening me, boy?" the old man said, taking a step closer. Whopper Jr. took a step up, too. Stick Insect in the back, though… she was getting scared. Could feel her tensing up, ready for flight. God I wished she would. First instinct, as a predator…something runs from you, chase it down.

I laughed and blew smoke straight in their faces. Wankers.

"Boy," I said. "Haven't been a boy for a long, long time."

I took a step forward, got right in the tosser's personal bubble. Then I let the demon out to play a little.

Always something satisfying about watching a human when they see my face shift. Might be the fear that starts coming out their pores. Might be the way the blood goes out of their faces and straight to their heart. Makes the beat just that much louder, the blood just that much hotter and steeped in fear. The boy was back peddling fast, the girl was wide-eyed and three seconds from a scream.

"Like I said, I know demons. And I know evil." I snuffed my cigarette out on his jacket lapel, careful not to accidentally singe him. "You come to my town, you're playing with the Big Bad boys. Just wanted you to know that. We don't all play as nice as that lot back there."

"What do you want?" Pops asked, a little panicky.

"Oh, the usual. Death, blood, destruction. Doesn't take much to keep me happy," I said. "Slayer let you off easy, so you get to toddle on home. This time. You come back, though…" I grinned, flashing all my fangs and leaving the threat unspoken.

Bricked the lot of them.

"You can run now," I told them. And they did.

I might have chased a little.

Instincts, you know.



***


8 November, 2000

They say, if you live long enough, nothing surprises you.

I don't believe it.

The world always surprises you. It's always throwing you bleedin' curves and trying to knock your feet out from under you. Life's a fight that never ends, and if you're lucky, you get to keep on dancing for a long, long time and you never get bored.

I'm a very good dancer.

Last night was… bloody hell, amazing.

Got home after watching Tara's family tear out of town, Harmony was still out, so I had a few drinks and turned in.

And the Slayer stepped up, ready to dance.

Oh, not a full out fight, but kitten wanted to play.

"I… I want to try something," she said. "I… know this is going to sound strange but I want to try something. With you. I mean, with your help." For a moment she just stood there, looking uncomfortable and adorable in her pyjama bottoms and tight little tank top. Not her sexiest look, but there was something about it, paired with her clean face and her hair pulled back in a tail… somehow it was a turn on. More so than any of the skimpy little outfits Harmony likes to wear to bed.

I shifted, adjusting a bit as my cock hardened against the seam of my trousers. Still not used to this sleeping clothed thing.

"I'm not gonna stake you," she said. "As long as you promise not to try to kill me."

As if I had a way of answering that.

"Will you promise not to try to kill me?"

Hadn't we been through this already?

Yes. I tapped my fingers against my crotch, the tightness of my trousers made it audible enough.

"Okay …okay… I… want to train. With you. Sort of," she said. I felt my eyebrows practically shoot off my head. The Slayer wanted to train with me? "I want to practise figuring out where you are since I can't see you. It's easy, when you're moving slow, but can we somehow make it more difficult? Maybe like… vampire hide and go seek?"

I chuckled, getting it. Not being able to see those Lei-Ach demons this evening scared her. She wanted practise fighting what she can't see. Well, not fighting. Not yet anyway.

Vampire hide and go seek?

Well, this was just…neat.

"Other than the bed, is there anything in here that I could run into that might hurt me?" she asked, glancing around as if someone was going to turn on the lights.

No. I tapped. Nothing but stone walls, and I could steer her away from them, if need be. Was wondering how she was planning on this working, though.

"Okay, so… you go somewhere in the room and wait, and I'll find you. Then you move to a different spot, and I'll find you again. Would… is that okay?"

Yes.

"Alright," she said. "Whenever you're ready. I'll give you a head start."

Wasn't going to stand about, waiting for her to change her mind. I bolted for what I knew was the edge of her range, thankful that the room was large enough to play in. Then I waited.

Dracula may have exposed our weaknesses to the general public, but there are a few things that they left out. With my human eyes, I can see pretty damn well in the dark. Better than even the best unenhanced human night vision. Through my demon eyes, however, it's even better. Only need a little bit of ambient light to be able to see.

We can be dead silent. Literally. No heartbeat. No breathing. Can stand absolutely still if we want. And in addition to that, something about the demon in us draws shadows. Unless you know we're there, we might as well be invisible.

Slayers, of course, get a cheat. Read up on them a long time ago, learnt all about their demon radar and how it works, though I suspect it's a little different, girl to girl. Summers isn't near as good as Nikki was. Never got to test the Chinese girl, though she was a lot like that Jamaican slayer: book smart instead of street smart. She probably could tell you from her vamp tingles alone how tall a vamp was, whether he'd eaten or not, and how old.

Still, Buffy always seemed to know where I was. This was no exception. She walked straight for me, halting a few feet away. Then, as if to reassure herself that I was there, reached out and touched the front of my shirt. Her smile was eager, illuminating. Like she'd just solved a riddle.

"Tag," she said. "Wanna try it faster?"

I moved. This time, she ran at me.

It wasn't an unfamiliar game. Angelus had taught me how to play with my food a long time ago. I'd used this trick before, though never on a Slayer, and usually I was the hunter, not the other way around. It was fun, letting her catch me only to disappear again. Trying different tricks to confuse her. Putting the bed between us, circling her while she was moving.

She managed to keep up, which was exhilarating all on its own.

I wished a couple of times that the room had more furniture, but the bed made a nice option. Hiding atop the canopy, waiting for her to catch me, then later on the floor under it.

She was laughing by that point, having a bloody ball chasing me all over the room, and it was difficult not to join in. Couldn't remember the last time I'd had this much fun with no blood involved. When I could tell she was tiring, I swung up beneath the canopy, bracing myself on the struts, waiting to see what she'd do.

That finally stumped her. She flopped down on the bed.

"Okay, you win this one round," she said, laughing. "I give."

I dropped down behind her, my hands on her shoulders and my knees either side of her hips. She started, but I held her in place, enjoying the warmth of her overheated skin and the race of her pulse. I realised I was still hard, and if I shifted forward just few centimetres, she'd realise it, too.

Probably not the best way to end the game. She ever figured out who I was, I was gonna be dust already. If I ground myself against her arse right now… well, there's more than one way to ram a stake into someone and hit the heart. Depends on the length of the stake.

"Under the canopy," she muttered. "Smart aleck vampire." Still, she was grinning.

I chuckled and moved away. I heard her arrange herself on her side of the bed, and settled in on mine.

"Thank you," she murmured sleepily.

I lay awake for a bit after that, thinking and trying to will my erection down. I made the Slayer happy. We had fun.

And somehow that made me happy.

God, I'm twisted. Shouldn't want the Slayer happy. Should want her scared, trembling, crying, or furious. Should want her bloodthirsty and ready for a fight.

But I didn't. I don't.

I want to make her smile again.

How buggered can you get?

***


9 November 2000

Went to the Bronze last night to make some cash hustling pool. Got a few debts that need paid up. Didn't realise the entire bloody Scooby gang was going to be there, celebrating the blonde witch's birthday. Stood back and watched for a bit, from the shadows.

Anya was chatting up Tara at the table, while the others stood about talking and laughing. It was so cosy it made me want to heave. Finn showed up late, oddly enough. Thought he was Mr. Punctual. Hmmm… Something to watch, maybe?

Mostly, though, I watched Buffy.

Lately seems like all I'm able to do is watch Buffy.

I'm not a complete idiot. I know it's wrong. Getting to be an old tune, though.

Heart don't beat, but it aches when she's near. Want to get close to her, touch her. Feel her fire and see if it burns me. Lot of lust, yeah, I admit it. But love, passion… supposed to be lust, right? That's what's missing with her and Cardboard: passion. Lout's about as passionate as a refrigerator door.

She doesn't love him. Can see it in the way she stands beside him, the way she kisses him, way she looks at him. Might feel for him, but it's not love. Not real love.

Had a hundred and more years to figure out love. To know its ache. Loved Dru for a bloody long time, and the bitch about tore my heart out when she left me.

"S-Spike?"

I didn't jump. I didn't.

Might have started a bit.

Tara stood beside me, watching me and glancing over at where I was staring.

"Are… is everything okay?" she asked. I blinked at her, considering. Tara was a new addition to the Scoobies. Came in last year about the same time I was trying to get that wanker Adam to take my sodding chip out. Always quiet and hanging back on the edges, she was; not your typical white hat. Can't think when she's said more than a few words to me before, but there she was, standing in the shadows with yours truly, her big eyes seeing way too damned much.

"Yeah," I said. "What's it to you?"

"I just…" she looked down at her hands, then rubbed her nose a bit. "I just wanted to th-thank you. For last night."

"For punching you in the face?"

"Yes," she smiled.

"Still hurt?" I didn't think I'd punched her that hard. Her head tilted a little to the side, studying me.

"Not really. I think… I think it hurt you more," she said.

That bird is way too perceptive.

"It passed," I said with a shrug. Wasn't going to go into the specifics of getting your brain blistered over a love tap.

"Still," she said, "I j-just wanted to let you know that I appreciated it."

Uncomfortable, I shifted my weight, glancing around to be sure no one was overhearing us.

"Welcome," I muttered.

She smiled and started to leave, then paused. "All my life, ever since I was a little girl, they told me that I was… that I had d-demon blood," she said softly. "That my mom had it, and that's why… I've been so scared, all this time, thinking that I was a demon."

"You're not a demon, luv," I told her.

"I know. Because, Anya who used to be a demon, figured it out; and b-because you punched me, and it hurt you, I know," she said. In my long life I don't think I've ever seen such an expression in anyone's eyes before. Certainly not when they were looking at me. "If there's ever anything I can do to help you… that's, you know, not…"

"Evil?"

She laughed. "Right. That's not evil. Just ask."

I think I must have been staring, because her cheeks coloured and she looked away.

"Thanks, luv," I said, clearing my throat and not knowing what else I could say. Poncy William and his manners to the rescue.

She smiled and once more turned to go, then glanced back.

"You have a really interesting aura," she said.

"What's that mean?" I asked. Dru sometimes had babbled about auras, but never about mine.

"I don't know," she said with a puzzled expression. "But it's really cool."

"Well," I said. "That's alright then."

With a quick grin she slipped back through the crowd to her friends, who looked like they were about to send up a search party for her. I stepped back into the shadows, mulling her words over and wondering why I suddenly felt… warm.





 
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