Author’s Note: Chapter 53 is short, I know, but I’m sure you’d rather I got on with the rescuing and such... I promise, the next few chapters will more than make up for it.

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all recognizable characters, locations, and dialogue belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the various writers. Show writers and any other quoted authors have been credited in individual chapters. I'm making no money from this—it is purely in the name of fun.

Betaed by Phuriedae and Science

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Chapter 53

Be Prepared

Anya carefully drives Xander and I back to their apartment. We only almost die twice when she skids on the icy roads.

"I've got some stuff you can use," Xander says. "Unfortunately I don't have much camping stuff, but... there's a few things." After we've helped him upstairs, he hobbles on his crutches to a storage closet and starts pulling things out, including a lightweight backpack and a few camping supplies. He digs a small book out and hands it to me.

"The Survivalist's Handbook?" I say, raising an eyebrow.

"Well," he says. "I saw it and thought, you know, in our line of work, it's better to be prepared. Oh!" He digs through the closet again and comes up with another pocket-sized paperback. Sheepishly he hands it over. "Worst Case Scenarios. You know... in case of… shark attacks or zombies. Not that we don't know what to do in case of zombies, but..."

"Thanks," I tell him and give him an awkward hug around his crutches. "With any luck, I won't need them and I'll be there and back before you know it."

"I wish I could go with you," he says. "You know, to watch your back. But I don't think you need Tiny Tim slowing you down. Just promise me you'll be careful and not do anything stupid."

"No stupid stuff. Check," I say.

"For the record, I think going into a hell dimension to rescue the bleached wonder is pretty stupid," he says, not quite meeting my eyes.

"Duly noted," I tell him, seriously.

"But..." he reaches into his pocket, pulls out a small object and hands it to me. I turn it over between my fingers. It's the squished coin he found back when he was split personality Xander. The surface is weirdly smooth, though I can still make out the head of some old presidential guy. "It's sort of a lucky charm," he says. "I figure if you're serious about this... you're gonna need it more than I will. Come back home safe, Buffy."

***

We stop at my house so I can pack some clothes and food, and change into my snow boots and some of my warmest patrolling gear. I wish I had time to go shopping to find warmer stuff, but hopefully this will get me through. Since I'm traveling light I can't take nearly as much weaponry as I'd like, so I settle for strapping my favorite dagger to my thigh, and tucking Mr. Pointy in my pocket. I really want to take a cross bow but it would be awkward to carry and I'd have to worry about running out of ammo.

The drive back to the Magic Box is tense. Xander keeps cracking jokes to relieve the tension. Anya just looks scared. I’m busy running through all the things stuffed in my bag, hoping I'm not forgetting anything important and that I've got enough energy bars and water. My last trip into a hell dimension was pretty quick, all things considered. I have a feeling this time around won't be as easy.

Besides that, I’m so totally not camping girl. My idea of camping involves a full RV with air conditioning and a working toilet. My night in the desert with Giles was the closest I’ve come to roughing it in... I don’t know how long. Still, I’m about as prepared as I can be, I guess. And, hey... maybe it will only be a quick trip. You know, pop in, rescue Spike, pop out, then find a way to defeat Louhi.

It’s possible, right?

Okay... so probably not, but it doesn’t hurt to be a little optimistic.

The others are all arguing a little when we come in. Something about the proper use of tannis root.

"We ready to go?" I ask.

"Just about," Willow says. "Um... there's a couple of spells we need to do first, though."

"Okay, what do you need?"

"Your necklace," Willow says. My fingers automatically reach for it. I'd forgotten I still had it on. "Whistler says that you'll be able to find Spike on your own but... getting home might be kinda a problem. So, we're going to give you some help."

I take off the necklace but hesitate before handing it over. "The last time we did this, it didn't make things better," I say. "In fact it made things the opposite of better."

"I know," Willow says softly, her expression sincere. "I'm really sorry. Really. And we're going to try to fix it, okay?" She holds out her hand and I reluctantly pool the necklace in her palm.

"Okay."

***

While Willow and Tara work their mojo, Giles and Whistler explain the dimension stuff.

Well, they try to.

"... so, we'll use the locus point to orient a dimensional conduit, although you'll have to navigate it on your own," Giles says, then blinks at the look on my face. "You haven't understood a word I've just said for the last five minutes, have you?" he asks.

"Something about grasshoppers?" I guess.

Giles rubs his temples wearily.

"Let me try," Whistler says. "Okay, so you've seen location spells before, right?" I nod. "This works sort of like that. We're gonna use Spike's journal like a bloodhound uses a... sock or something, to catch a scent. Right? That'll let us open up a door that leads to wherever Spike is. Now, this isn't going to be like finding Narnia, kid. It'll be more like finding your way through a fun house, in the dark, with crazy mirrors all over the walls. But you've got a cheat. When Spike's around, can you tell him apart from other vamps?"

"Yeah," I say. "Pretty easily now, actually."

"Okay, well, this spell is going to amplify that. You just follow the tinglies and it should dump you out somewhere close to where Spike is, or at least in the right dimension. After that you're going to have to find him on your own."

"Sounds simple enough," I say.

"It won't be," Whistler promises. "This trip is provided courtesy of the PTB, dollface. They don't make anything easy. You screwed up, and they're going to make you work for it. You fail this time... it'll send you straight back here and we'll all have do the Ice Capades together."

"I can handle it."

"Hope you're right, kid," he says.

"I still don't like this," Giles mutters. "But it seems like our best option. Better than Willow's bee method, I suppose."

"I can't tell you how much I appreciate not being the bee," I tell them.

***

A flash of light is our cue that Wills and Tara have finished.

"We left the old spell on it," Tara says. "We thought it...it might come in handy. You won't have to carry a flashlight."

"But we upgraded it and added some features," Willow says with a grin. "Now it's Magic Necklace 2.0. 'Day' makes it glow and 'night' makes it stop. But we added a charm to protect you from frostbite, since Whistler says Louhi's hell is extra cold. And, watch this." She puts on the necklace and touches the pendant. "Hide."

Nothing changes.

Willow gives me a jaunty little smile then strolls over to where Xander and Anya are sitting by the counter. Anya is fiddling with a cup of coffee. With an impish grin, Willow reaches out and snags it, moving it over closer to Xander. Neither of them pay her the slightest bit of attention. When Anya goes to reach for her coffee and sees it's moved, she merely shrugs and stretches for it.

Willow waves a hand in front of Xander's face. He doesn't react.

Then she wanders over and does the same to Giles.

"She's not invisible," I say, glancing back at Tara.

"No," Tara says, not taking her eyes off Willow. "She's uninteresting. It's a variation of that Don't Look Here spell. It won't work if someone is staring at you when you do it, because they know to look. But... for anyone else it-it makes it so they just... aren't interested enough to pay you any attention, or anything you're touching or... saying. It'll also hide you from scrying spells." I look back at where Willow was but...

"She's gone?" I ask, looking around. She's nowhere in the shop.

"Nope," Willow says, suddenly popping up beside me. "Right here. You stopped looking at me. Neat huh?"

"Very," I say. "Wish I'd had this in high school. We could have checked out the boys locker room." Neither Tara nor Willow look all that interested. Oh, right. "Or... you know... um, spied on the Mayor?"

"We're not sure how strong it is against someone with Louhi's power," Tara warns. "She might be able to see through it. Also, to turn it off you just say 'end'."

"Thanks," I say. "Would have sucked to accidentally pull a Marcie."

Tara gives me a weird look, but Willow nods, knowingly.

"Oh, here's the other upgrade," Willow says. She touches the pendant again. "Seek."

A tiny sparkling light shoots out of the pendant, zooms once around Willow and then darts toward the middle of the shop before vanishing. "Not so impressive in here," she says. "But basically it's to... you know, show you the way home. Not exactly ruby slippers, more... second star to the right and straight on till morning, but it should work no matter where you are. It's tied to the Magic Box, in this dimension. Less chance of it getting confused and... uh... swarming you like a pack of rabid fireflies."

"That was a danger?" I ask, suspiciously.

"Only when it's not focused. Trust me, it's focused. Very, very focused," she says, taking off the pendant and handing it to me. I put it back on, checking the clasp.

"Okay," I say, taking a deep breath. "I guess I'm ready. Point this Alice toward the rabbit hole."

***

Giles has me stand in the middle of a chalk circle, holding Spike's journal.

"You're certain?" he asks me, one last time.

"Is there a word stronger than ‘absolutely’? ‘Cause if so, I’m that," I tell him. He puts his hands on my shoulders and looks at me very seriously.

"Good luck," he says. "Don't be rash. While you're gone we'll research and try to find a way to defeat her."

"Thanks," I tell him. He looks worried. "I'm coming back, Giles. I promise."

He nods. "Good," he says. "Good."

He takes his place around the circle, picks up a book. Time to get chanty, I guess.

"Alright, kid," Whistler says. "Showtime. You hold tight to that and concentrate on Spike. We'll get that door open."

He takes his place opposite Giles. Tara and Willow move to the other two points on the circle. From outside of the circle, Xander, Anya, and Lydia watch with huge eyes. I fix their faces in my head, then look down at the journal in my hands, my thumbs rubbing over the worn black leather.

They wanted to do the spell with the journal remaining here, but I refused to leave it behind. Part of me worries that Giles or Lydia will read it, even though I told them not to. Part of me simply refuses to let go of it. Somehow, in the last two days it's become... I don't even know how to describe it. It's... Mr. Gordo. It's my link to Spike.

It's... more.

Like some twisted, weird, incredibly long love letter.

No one has ever seen me the way Spike sees me. Not Angel, not Riley... not even me.

There's still so much about Spike I don't understand, so much I want to. I want to get him back, sit him down, ask him a hundred questions that I'm not even sure I know how to voice.

As the others start chanting I concentrate, not on the journal, but on those things about Spike I know best. His annoying habit of making everything he says sound dirty. The bleached curls that he tries so hard to hide behind all that hair gel. The mocking glint in his eyes that always makes me think he's laughing at me. His smirk, and that rare, boyish grin. Those wickedly sharp cheekbones and the scar that cuts through his eyebrow. The scent of leather, cigarette smoke, and something that's earthy and masculine and dark and just... Spike. The way he wraps me in his arms, holds me tight and close, lending me strength. His mean left hook. His hands... big, strong, the blunt fingertips a little rough, the chipped black polish he can't seem to quit picking at. The way he looks when he's sprawled out against black sheets, all salty goodness and naked glistening muscle wrapped in pale skin...

I blink.

Okay, probably not the right kind of concentration, there.

"Buffy," Willow says, and I open my eyes. In front of me is a swirling oval of dark just slightly taller than I am. It seems to be sucking all the light toward it, and the edges of things are warped strangely around it. Willow stands just beyond portal, and I realize that her hair is blowing wildly in a wind that comes from nowhere, though everything behind her is still. Her eyes look strange, dark and huge. "It's time," she says.

I nod.

Take a deep breath.

And step through the door.

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