A/N: Beta'd by lovely dawnofme and IveDiedTwice.

Plot ensues! :D




Lovely banner by xaphania


Chapter 39


Her heart pounded as she ran all the way home from Spike’s apartment, wishing against hope that Giles had overslept. 'Shyeah, like that would happen.' Maybe she could sneak into her room and pretend she’d just woken up? Or act as if she woke earlier and went for a morning walk.


Except, Giles knew her well so he was aware how Faith had to drag her out of bed every morning so they wouldn’t miss school. Life of a Chosen One wasn’t very complementary to getting a good night’s sleep.


Buffy dashed down the street then slowed down, trying to calm down her breath so she wouldn’t look so out of sorts. Fishing in the pockets of her jeans for the keys, she walked up to the front door. Only there weren’t any keys.


'Crap! Must have lost them at Spike’s place.'


That thought inevitably led thoughts of how she might have lost them.


'Always check for fallen out keys after taking off your pants.'


Fighting off the urge to bang her head against the door in frustration, she rounded the house and peered into her room. She didn’t lock the window so she should be able to get in undetected after all.


She grasped the window and pulled.


'Nope. Locked out. Double crap!'


Giles must have locked it, which meant he must have been in her room and noticed her glaring absence.


With a defeated step, Buffy walked to the front door and rang the bell. She didn’t have to wait long for Giles to open the door, his face relaxing and regaining some of its colour when he met her eyes. Guilt immediately smashed into her gut for worrying him.


“Buffy, where have you been all night? Are you alright?”


He ushered her inside and she closed the door, her shoulders slumped.


Lie or tell the truth? Could she even lie to him? Keeping stuff from Giles was one thing but outright lying to his face after being asked directly… he’d know. Wouldn’t he?


“I… umm… stuff happened.” Okay, that was true, if not a little vague. Maybe he’d drop the subject.


“Stuff? Buffy, I’ve been awake all night waiting for you, bloody worried about what might have happened to you!”


Okay, he was swearing. And raising his voice. That was a bad sign, and the guilt inside only gnawed at her more.


“If I tell you where I was, will you be angry with me?”


Giles sighed and took off his glasses with a tired gesture and sat in the armchair. “Do I have a reason to be?”


“N-no.” She hated how young and silly he made her feel with that half-skeptical, half-worried look on his face. “I mean… I was just-”


“I will not be angry with you, Buffy. Just please stop keeping me in suspense. I have some news to tell you as well.”


“News? Really?” She perched on the armrest of the sofa.


“First finish telling me what happened. You won’t get out of it so easily.”


“Okay… I was out. P-patrolling?”


“Are you asking me?” he asked with some amusement in his voice. “You never go patrolling without taking your phone.”


“Oh. I must have forgotten when I… okay, so I wasn’t patrolling. Not exactly.”


“I would never have guessed.”


She sent him a dirty look. “No need to be all sarcastic Watcher.” She gnawed at her lip and averted her eyes. “You’ll be mad.”


Giles pinched the bridge of his nose. “Buffy.”


“Would you stop saying my name that way? It makes me feel all… like I did something wrong and I swear I didn’t. I was… I was with Spike.”


She kept her eyes fixed on her hands, unable to look up and see the disapproval written all over his face.


“Spike. The vampire.”


“That’s not all he is, you know.”


“Isn’t he?” Giles asked with curiosity, and she lifted her gaze.


“No. He’s more than that. He’s…” Mine. “William. He’s not like the others. I’m not saying he’s a saint or that he’s not a demon, but… don’t we all have darkness inside?”


Giles shifted in his seat, and now he was the one to avert his eyes. Was he hiding something from her? A dark past perhaps? The very idea was ludicrous.


“I suppose we do, but he’s not merely a human with dark tendencies. He is evil. A murderer.”


She crossed her arms across her chest. “Aren’t I? A murderer?”


“Buffy… you’re a warrior of good, you’re-”


“That doesn’t change the fact I kill. Does the purpose even matter? I enjoy it, Giles. The Slayer part of me, that primal energy inside thrives off the hunt. You don’t know what it’s like. That feeling of being above the law. It’s hard not to let it get to your head. Spike gets that. He understands the violence inside, just as he understands my need to be just Buffy.”


Giles regarded her silently, and the scrutiny almost made her cringe but she didn’t even blink.


“You’re right. I don’t know what it is like to be a slayer. But I think you’re too blinded by your past acquaintance with William to see Spike for what he truly is. All you see is the face of a man you loved, and I know it’s hard t-”


“That’s not true. Don’t you think I truly realize what he is, what he’s capable of? I saw him for what he is. You’re right. I do see William when I look at Spike. Because he is a part of him. They’re not two separate entities.”


“You cannot trust him. It’ll get you killed!”


“No. It won’t. Maybe he’s the reason I’ll live longer.”


Giles shook his head and rose from the armchair. “You’re an adult, and I can’t make you do something you don’t want, but I advise you to be careful. I couldn’t bear it if something happened to you too.”


“I know. And I will be careful, but I swear to you… Spike won’t hurt me.” She still saw he wasn’t convinced. “I wouldn’t let him.”


He tipped his head in a sign of acknowledgment. Even if he could never trust a vampire, he could always trust her.


“They called from the hospital.”


Buffy shot to her feet, the panic growing inside her chest making the breathing difficult. “W-what… what did they say? Why didn’t you tell me right away?”


Giles smiled. “She’s awake.”


She hadn’t realized how tense her every muscle was until he said those words and the tension flew out of her body. “How? When? We’ve got to go!”


“We will, don’t worry. Go take a shower and have a bite to eat.”


“But I have to go right now!”


“Faith will still be there even if you take fifteen minutes to clean up.”


She was about to argue further then remembered how she’d spent the night. Perhaps she could spare a few minutes to have a shower so she wouldn’t be all stinky Buffy smelling like… well, like she’d been shagged six ways from Sunday, as Spike would probably say.


Ten minutes later, she and Giles were on their way to the hospital.


*******


Faith dug dispassionately into the bland food lying on a tray in her lap. It had been maybe an hour since she had awoken from the drug induced sleep and she was already bored. The doctor came by to check on her and told her she’d been brought in due to massive blood loss, commenting on the amazing rate Faith was recovering at from the coma. What caused her injuries, he didn’t say.


It wasn’t as though she couldn’t recall.


Her hand stroked the bandage wrapped around her neck, remembering the feeling of hot torrents of blood pouring over her hands when the vampire slit her throat.


But something had changed. She didn’t know exactly, but the dreams plaguing her subconscious were filled with girls fighting demons. The Slayers. And she sure as hell didn’t feel as weak as she probably should after waking from a coma. But it couldn’t be her. She was too old. And if it was true, if she had indeed become the Slayer, that would mean…


Buffy.


Faith pushed the food away right as the nurse walked into her room.


“You have visitors.”


She straightened up and stared at the doorway with nervous anticipation. The dread that had been pooling in her stomach dissolved into shocked elation as Buffy hurried into the room with Giles following right at her heels.


“Buffy! Giles!”


“Faith! You’re awake.”


Buffy grinned widely and rushed over to hug her.


“Ugh… still need to breathe, girlfriend,” Faith said, joking only partially.


Giles hovered uncertainly beside her bed and smiled at her warmly. “How are you feeling?”


“Bored. And the food stinks. You didn’t bring me a big greasy burger by any chance?”


Buffy shrugged and nudged Giles.


He whipped a bag of something from behind his back and her smile faltered as he said, “Eh… we brought you grapes.”


“Oh.”


“As soon as you get home, I promise heaps and heaps of ice-cream and calories laden food,” Buffy said eagerly.


“Hey, we can have a race though I’ll probably get my ass kicked by you. I’ve never seen someone inhale food the way you do. It’s scary.”


“I so do not. Tell her, Giles.”


“I have to agree with Faith.”


“You guys are mean.” Buffy pouted. “So when are you coming home?”


“No clue. But I feel good. It’s like I’ve been lying in the bed for months, and I just really want to get out of here. It’s making me all depressed and shit.”


Giles fumbled with his glasses and put his hand over Faith’s briefly before giving her an awkward smile. “I’ll go check with the doctor. Perhaps they could let you leave sooner.”


Buffy nodded. “We can take care of you better anyway.”


“I bet,” Faith said with a smirk then watched Giles walk out of the room.


“So, B… how have you been?”


Buffy looked at her incredulously. “My best friend was in coma. What do you think?”


“I’ll live.”


“The doctor said you were dead for a few seconds!”


“Oh,” Faith said. “So that’s what that was.”


“What do you mean?”


“I was in a tunnel with bright light at the end.”


Buffy’s eyes widened. “Really?”


Faith chuckled and regretted it the minute the sound passed her still sore throat. “No, I’m pulling your leg. You should have seen your face.”


Buffy scowled. “Meanie.”


There was something though, a violet light she could vividly recall and had no clue what it meant. Buffy didn’t need to know. Not when Faith herself found the memory too abstract to describe.


“You know that if the doctor doesn’t let me go, I’ll just sneak out of the hospital, right?”


Buffy shook her head, amused. “I really did miss you.”


*******


Spike strode through a dark alley, the wind making his coat whip around his calves. There was something he needed to do. For Buffy. Because she’d put her trust in him, trust he wasn’t so sure he deserved. Stepping around empty cardboard boxes stacked on top of each other, Spike approached the metallic door.


Ignoring the sign stating it was closed, he raised his fist and knocked.


After a few seconds, he heard soft paddle of feet before she opened the door. Tara tucked a strand of light brown hair behind her ear nervously, her eyes questioning as she tightened dark green cardigan around her form.


“H-hi, Spike. Didn’t the spell w-work?”


“No, it did, actually,” he said and tilted his head. “Mind if I come in?”


She stepped aside and let him in, closing the door behind him.


Her eyes followed him quietly as he paced around the floor of the shop. Not asking, not talking, merely letting him have the time he needed to get the issue off his chest because they both knew there was more. Spike appreciated that.


“So, the spell worked,” he said, gathering courage. “The girl I told you about. My girlfriend’s best friend? She woke up fro the coma. Thanks, pet. If it weren’t for your little bit of hocus-pocus, she’d probably have died.”


Tara shrugged uncomfortably, her hands fidgeting with the hem of her sweater. “I’m g-glad it helped. But… that’s not the r-reason you’re here. Is it?”


Spike rubbed the back of his neck. “No. Is there… bloody hell, this is so stupid. Alright, here we go… I wanted to know if you had any spell or what not that could help me control my demon? To leash it, in a sense.”


She stared at him then shook herself out of the stupor. “Oh. I d-did not expect you to ask f-for that kind of help.” A crease appeared between her brows as she contemplated his question. “Umm… I’d have to look.”


Spike followed her to the back of the shop where Tara and her mother stored the more dangerous witchcraft books.


Together they sat down and started to search the tomes for answers.


TBC