Buffy was grateful that Dawn had shown an amazing amount of foresight. She had arrived at the warehouse with a rented SUV, along with medical supplies and towels.

"It's too late to get blood, but I'll go first thing in the morning," Dawn said as soon as she came out of the SUV.

It took both of them to gently lift Spike into the back of the vehicle. Buffy jumped in with him and began taking stock of the supplies they had.

"It's not much. Just what they had to offer at the all-night pharmacy," Dawn said while getting into the driver's seat. "There's a Best Western a couple blocks down. We can stay there."

Buffy nodded, though she didn't know if Dawn were looking at her. She didn't know that she had words in her at that moment. Her attention was centered on Spike.

She kept the dome light on to help her inspect his injuries. Obviously, there were the tongue and fangs. The welts on his body were probably from holy water - Buffy recognized the mark. His fingers were swollen and bruised, and his shoulders and legs were dislocated. He also had an older bite mark on his neck. From Angel? Maybe as part of that blood bond whatsit.

The process of getting him into the car revealed another injury she hadn't noticed earlier, though. Blood heavily stained his buttocks, and a closer look confirmed some sort of trauma there. Buffy sat back on her heels and closed her eyes. She didn't know if she could deal with this.

"He'll be okay," Dawn said. Her voice jolted Buffy out of her distress. When she glanced up, Dawn was watching her in the rear-view mirror.

"This is bad, Dawn," Buffy replied.

"I know. But he's with us now. So he'll be okay."

Buffy wished she could be so certain. Marvin's final words lingered in the back of her mind.

She remained huddled in the back of the SUV beside Spike while Dawn left to check in to the hotel. Once that piece of business was taken care of, Dawn drove them to the room at the end of the building.

Buffy hoped nobody saw them carrying the body into the room. The last thing she needed was for somebody to flip out and call the police on them.

They laid out towels on one of the beds before laying Spike on top of it. Dawn grabbed the ice bucket and went into the bathroom to fill it with water. She came back out with a washcloth, which she handed to Buffy.

Buffy sighed. She sat on the edge of the bed and began to gently wash the blood off Spike's body.

"I got antibacterial cream, but...I guess that's stupid." Dawn said while sifting through the first aid supplies.

"I'm gonna need your help putting Spike's shoulders back in place," Buffy said. "Better to do it now while he's asleep so he won't feel it."

"Right. Gosh, that water got bloody fast. Let me refill it."

Buffy had finished cleaning Spike's face. It made a big difference. She wasn't sure what to do about the fingers. Some of the bones were severely fractured, and she wasn't sure if vampire healing would take care of that. She didn't know if vampire healing would take care of the tongue. She didn't know much.

When Dawn came back and set down the bucket of fresh water, Buffy turned to her. "Dawn, there are a couple things that may be...well, it may be hard. Later." She swallowed. "Marvin cut Spike's tongue out."

Dawn's eyes widened.

Buffy continued speaking. "Yeah. I don't know what can be done about that. Also, there seems to be some injury to his backside. You know? I'll need your help with that."

Dawn nodded, but she remained silent.

Buffy looked back down at the vampire beside her. "I'm starting to wish I'd dusted Angel."

* * * * *


Dawn slept on the bed beside Buffy, apparently undisturbed by the loud buzzing of the air conditioning unit in the window. Sunlight peeked through the gaps in the curtains, bouncing across Buffy's face.

It had been a long night, and they still had many hours till their flight arrived. Buffy and Dawn had washed and patched up Spike as best they could. Buffy had decided to wrap his hands so as to not injure his fingers any more. The bite wound on his neck was bandaged. Everything else was thoroughly cleaned. Though cleaning wounds may not matter that much for vampires, it made Buffy feel marginally better.

She'd also taken the opportunity to bandage her own wound from her failed effort to feed Spike. Dawn hadn't questioned it. She probably assumed Buffy had received the injury while fighting Marvin. Buffy didn't correct her.

Buffy knew she should be sleeping, but she found herself sitting on her side of the bed - the side closest to Spike - watching the sleeping vampire. Now that she'd rescued him, she didn't want to let him out of her sight. Look what had happened the last time she had done so.

A pang of guilt overtook her. Guilt for having left him in the first place. Guilt for not realizing immediately that Angel was lying to her. Guilt for letting this happen.

Her responsibilities were few these days. The slayer spell had given her a respite from the constant struggle of saving the world. She was allowed to indulge herself now, and she had been taking full advantage of it. But once meeting up with Spike again, she felt eager to take up this new responsibility - to him. To be with him, with all that that entailed.

She'd let him down.

Marvin's words still unsettled her. He'd given up with the promise that Spike would prefer to be dusted than be with her. That had to be nonsense, right? The deranged hope of a desperately insane vampire.

Unless he knew something Buffy didn't know, and she was not gonna let that thought go anywhere else. No, she could help Spike. It would take some time and some work, but he'd heal. And then they'd pick up where they'd left off.

As her eyes remained fixed on Spike, she realized he was staring back. She expected some sudden blast of music like you get in movies when someone opens their eyes. Obviously, that didn't happen. Instead, his eyes were just...open.

Buffy dropped to the floor beside the bed, kneeling at his side.

"Spike? How are you feeling?"

He paused as if assessing his own body. However, a response never came.

Buffy cringed. "Tongue! I forgot! I'm sorry!"

He couldn't talk to her.

"Listen, Spike, we have a jet coming to take us back to England. The Council has its own hospital that we can put you up in. You'll be okay." She tried so hard to sound reassuring. Being comforting wasn't a trait she'd really nurtured before. She obviously wasn't very good at it, though.

He simply looked at her for a few minutes more before his gaze wandered to the ceiling.

"I know you're in pain," Buffy said, not sure where she was going with that thought. "But I'm gonna help you, Spike. I promise."

He didn't respond. He closed his eyes, shutting her out.

Buffy felt like crying.

* * * * *

Buffy hadn't planned on going to sleep. She hadn't thought she'd be able to. But one minute had her lying down on the bed beside Dawn, the next had her rousing to the sound of Dawn's voice along with the smell of coffee.

Buffy blinked and turned her head. Dawn was at Spike's side with a coffee mug in hand. A cup of what appeared to be blood with a straw hanging out sat on the bedside table.

"Then there was this guy, Jack - you wouldn't have liked him, and he - " Dawn paused when she heard the bed springs creak at Buffy's movement. She turned. "Finally! Thought you'd sleep forever. There's donuts on the table. Our jet gets in at four, so we have several hours. Oh! I also threw some Council money around and got a wheelchair for Spike." She jumped up and ran across the small hotel room to pick up something from the corner. "Complete with umbrella!" She triggered the umbrella open with a flourish. "To keep the sun off, you know?"

When had her sister gotten so resourceful?

"That's great, Dawn," Buffy said.

She couldn't help it. Her eyes strayed towards Spike. He was watching Dawn intently, completely ignoring Buffy's presence. Her stomach sank. Why wasn't he acting happy to see her?

Dawn was walking back to Spike's side when Buffy stood up. "Hey, I'm gonna go for some breakfast. This place does have a continental one, right?"

"Closed at ten, Rip Van Winkle," Dawn replied.

"Oh. Well, then, I'll just go to their cafe or whatever they have. I need something more than a donut."

Dawn barely glanced at her. "Okay."

Buffy made her quick escape. As soon as she did, she wished she'd taken a shower first. She still smelled like she'd rescued a tortured vampire from a dockside warehouse.

The Best Western didn't offer any dining alternatives besides the now-closed breakfast. However, there was a diner across the street. The sign would say "Debby's", but the second 'b' had fallen off. So Buffy made her way to the Deby's, hoping they wouldn't be too particular about her current smell.

Even though the bell rang at her entrance, she still had to clear her throat to rouse the hostess, who had been doing a word search.

The apathetic employee waved at her to pick a table, so Buffy tucked herself into an isolated corner and pulled out her cellphone. After she placed her order for a slayer-sized lunch, she dialed Willow's number.

"Hello?" Her friend's voice popped onto the line.

"Willow, hey."

"Buffy! What's been going on there? We're all confused! Spike's dead. Then he's not. But Angel's evil and you need the jet?"

"Yeah." Buffy scooted the salt shaker around the table. "It's a long story, Will. I'm kinda tired now. I just wanted to check with you on a couple things."

"Okay. Shoot."

"Well, I need you to do some research on vampire families. Specifically to some ritual where sires revoke a blood bond or something like that."

"This doesn't sound promising for Spike," Willow said.

"This will sound even worse. I need you to look into tongue regeneration."

"What?"

Buffy's food arrived, and she had to juggle her phone to accommodate the new arrangement. Once everything had been settled, she began again.

"I don't really have the time to go into the whys on this one, but Spike's tongue was removed. By the time I get him to England, I want some solutions as to how to, you know, get it back. Or grow another one. Or give him a mechanical one. I don't know. Just something, Will."

"Okay." Buffy could tell that Willow's mind was already processing and working things out. "I'm not gonna promise anything."

"Thanks."

"And Buffy? Are you okay?"

Buffy stirred her food around on the plate. "I'll see you soon." She ignored the question. "Bye, Willow."

* * * * *

Buffy had a bandage on her wrist. Spike felt the faint workings of Slayer blood inside him. Not much. Just the tiniest wisps stirring around, fueling him.

She'd tried to feed him at some point. He didn't remember.

With the torture and injuries, there were a lot of murky spots in his memory. It made the present seem hyper-real. Every sensation and experience was magnified. Buffy's disappearance in the afternoon. Dawn helping him into the wheelchair and holding the umbrella for him. The car ride to the airport. Getting onto the jet and settled - by Dawn, not Buffy.

It felt too real to be real. Spike wouldn't have been surprised if he'd woken up back in Marvin's torture chamber with his dick cut off or something.

It was humiliating being carted around like a mute invalid. Which is what he was, but he didn't want to admit it. Buffy shouldn't see him like this. Dawn, especially, shouldn't see him like this. Nobody should see him like this.

"Are you hungry, Spike?" Dawn leaned over after the jet had taken off.

He shook his head. She'd given him a window seat - despite the fact that all the windows were shuttered - and covered him with a blanket. The Council jet wasn't as luxurious as Wolfram & Hart's had been, but it was better than riding in a cargo hold.

Buffy sat on the far side of the plane. Her hair was still wet from the rushed shower she'd taken back at the hotel, and she was fiddling with her cellphone. He willed her to turn and look at him, while at the same time hoping she wouldn't.

Dawn noticed where his attention fell. She turned. "Buffy? I think he wants you."

Spike rolled his eyes. She meant well.

Buffy glanced up and put her phone to the side. She walked over to sit down beside him. Dawn took the opportunity to move to the next cabin.

"She's being almost too attentive, isn't she?" Buffy gave him an apologetic smile.

Spike didn't know how to respond. He couldn't talk. With his fingers broken, he couldn't even write messages out. He was stuck having to express things with his eyes.

"Sorry, I know now's not a good time to talk," Buffy looked down. "I can sit by you, if you want. It's up to you. Do you want me to stay here?"

He wanted to be wrapped up in her arms, taken into her home, accepted into her being. He couldn't ask a damn thing of her, though, not even if his tongue hadn't been cut out. After what Angel had done, he had no right.

Spike shook his head. Buffy's smile faltered only for a second before she managed to save it. She stood, grabbing a bell from the bag on the floor in front of the seat.

"Dawn got this for you. If you need anything, just ring the bell. I won't disturb you otherwise." Buffy placed the bell on the seat next to his and went back to her previous seat.

Spike watched after her, wishing for the millions of things he couldn't ask for.

* * * * *

The flight continued in much the same vein. Buffy across the chasm of the aisle, effectively out of reach in more ways than one. Dawn being the over-enthusiastic nursemaid. Every bit of turbulence sending jagged spikes of pain through him. Spike considered himself lucky to have fallen asleep at some point so as to get away from the nightmarish situation.

The landing was, likewise, uneventful. Buffy disappeared while they wheeled him into a nondescript hospital and set him up in a room with dark curtains and a mini-fridge full of blood. Dawn, at least, stayed by his side.

"This place is still kinda new. It comes in handy, though, to have our own hospital, you know? Too many strange injuries that we couldn't explain for a boarding school of young girls." Dawn pulled the curtains tighter together before turning back to him. "The doctors are very good."

As if on command, a doctor and nurse tag-team entered. The doctor was a stern-looking woman with close-cropped gray hair and spectacles that dangled from the edge of her nose. As if to offset the austere attitude of the doctor, the nurse had a huge smile on her face.

"So this is the vampire we've been hearing all about?" The nurse said. A read of her nametag revealed her to be Sarah Davey.

Spike didn't reply. He couldn't, of course.

The doctor - Dr. Parkes - shot her nurse a silencing look before pulling out her pen.

"Spike, vampire, correct?"

He nodded.

"Ah," Dawn jumped in. "He can't talk, Doctor. His tongue was cut out."

Dr. Parkes' eyebrows raised, and Sarah gave him a sympathetic look.

"There's nothing we can do for that," Dr. Parkes said. Spike's hopes deflated.

"We know. We're looking at another avenue on that one. We just need you to make sure he's healing alright. Especially his fingers. The bones were fractured pretty badly."

Spike looked to Dawn, curious as to what this "another avenue" was. Nobody had told him about that. She didn't appear interested in elaborating, though.

"Well, let's take a look," Dr. Parkes said. On automatic cue, Sarah stepped forward and began unwinding the bandages Buffy had done. Spike felt an irrational sense of loss as the gauze was stripped away and discarded. Buffy should be here.

The doctor poked at his fingers. "We should take x-rays," she said to Sarah.

Sarah nodded and exited, most likely to prepare an x-ray room. Spike looked to Dawn, but she only smiled in an attempt to placate him.

Spike sighed.

* * * * *

Home base was a castle now, strangely enough. The move to England had been bizarre and jarring, and Buffy was still adjusting to the new culture. It was almost American, just with a step to the right. Like, they had castles that could be obtained, renovated, and then used to house a passel of young slayers while they trained.

Said castle was only a short drive from their dedicated hospital, and Buffy found herself eager to get away from there. Spike didn't want her.

He didn't want her.

That thought kept circling around her mind, situating itself into her being. A piece of it nuzzled into her stomach, making her ill. Marvin's words to her were in there, too. He'd given up too easily. This bothered her. Almost as much as Spike not wanting her around bothered her.

She knew that Spike was probably embarrassed to be seen in such a state. He never liked to show weakness. Nobody did. However, she hadn't expected him to completely shut down around her. After what they'd been through - after what she'd gone through to rescue him...

She couldn't stay at the hospital, being there while not being wanted.

Buffy pulled into the gravel lot of the castle. Willow was already outside, waiting for her. The redhead wore a mask of rehearsed sympathy and dogged determination.

The usual pleasantries were exchanged while Willow helped carry her luggage to her room. They didn't mention recent events, both of them waiting until they were in private.

Once at her quarters, Buffy scooted her luggage into an unused corner and collapsed onto the couch with a sigh. Willow sat down across from her.

"So..." Willow said.

"Yeah," Buffy nodded. "That's a good start."

Willow pushed herself up to the edge of the seat. "I have some good news! The tongue thing? Well, there are some spells...nothing fancy! Vampires already have healing powers, and stimulating his natural abilities can provoke regeneration. So I'd basically have to just amplify his vampiness, which would have the double effect of stitching up any other injuries he has like that." She snapped.

Buffy frowned. "Amplify his vampiness? What does that mean?"

"Oh, demon stuff. I mean, he has a soul so it shouldn't be too big a deal. And it's gonna be temporary, and - of course, he's in Slayer Central so it's not like it's a big risk - "

"Will, details."

"Sorry." Willow's shoulders sagged. "Vampires are half demon, half human, you know. So this spell would kinda...shift it. Minimize the human, magnify the demon. He'll still be Spike! Just...demon Spike. So violent, cranky, rude. The usual."

"How long would this take?"

"Well, the only precedent I found was a Watcher using it to regenerate a vampire's arm back in the 15th century. That took three days. For a tongue? It probably won't be more than a day, if that."

Buffy nodded. "Okay. We'll do that tomorrow. I'll talk to him to make sure he's okay with it." She rubbed her face. "And the other thing?"

Willow hesitated. "I...haven't really got a chance to look. I've been reading up on the tongue, so..."

Buffy nodded. Willow had her priorities in order. Of course. Once they got Spike back to physical health, then they'd worry about the blood bond mess.

"Once I get the regeneration taken care of, I can start researching that," Willow said, confirming Buffy's thoughts.

"No problem." Buffy stood up. "I'm gonna sleep off some of this jet lag. Thanks, Willow."

* * * * *

Special heavy-duty drugs had been pumped into him to help him sleep and to kill the pain. They had worked for a while, gracing him with several hours of much-needed sleep. However, the drugs ran quickly through his system, and Spike found himself waking up in the dead of the night. The pain his body was in was muted through the lingering effect of the drugs, though the pressure on his backside ached. The hospital lights were dimmed, and beyond the breathing from next to him, all he could hear were the steady footsteps of the nightshift nurse walking down the hall.

The breathing next to him...

Spike turned his head to see Buffy reading a magazine in the chair beside him. She wore a faded t-shirt with jeans, and her hair was damp from a shower. At first she hadn't noticed that he'd woken. Instead, she continued to flip through the glossy pages of her magazine. He wasn't sure what eventually gave him away. Maybe her own slayer senses alerted her to his wakening.

"Hey," she said while putting her magazine to the side.

He wanted to joke about her reading in such bad light, but he couldn't. That made him feel like punching the wall, but he couldn't do that either. Pathetic.

"I see they changed your bandages. They look much better."

He wished she'd just go. He didn't need her staying by him out of some kind of pity. It's not like she'd ever want him again. Putting on this act was just pouring salt in the wound.

"I don't want to bug you or anything," she said with a forced smile, almost as if responding to his very thoughts. "I talked to Willow earlier. She can fix your tongue. Or, bring it back. Or something. It's magicky stuff. I don't know. But she's willing to do it tomorrow if that's alright by you."

'Magicky stuff' almost never ended well, especially with Willow.

"It's gonna require bringing out your demon, like, a lot. Probably for a day. It helps the regeneration. Spike, is that okay?"

She was expecting an answer from him. Right. Cause he was on his own and could decide things for himself. That's the way of things now.

He didn't know that it would make any difference, but he nodded anyway. It's obviously what she wanted. She smiled at his response.

It wouldn't help anything, but he still liked to see her smile.

* * * * *

Willow's book-perusing came to a halt when two pages stuck together. She inched a nail between to separate them. Not that it mattered. She already knew what was on those pages, and it didn't help alleviate her nervousness.

She jumped when Kennedy's hand touched her back.

"Easy there," Kennedy said. "Why so shaky?"

"Uh...stuff." Willow set the book on vampire families to the side. "Besides, pretty big spell today. That's always a little nerve-making, you know?"

"Want me to be there?" Kennedy sat down next to her and kept a steadying hand on her arm.

"Would you? I mean, we need slayers there anyway in case Spike gets too grrrr. And you're one of the strongest, so..."

"I can have Malorie do the training for me. Today, I'm all yours." Kennedy smiled. "Now tell me, what was in that book?"

"What book?"

"The book you're trying not to talk about or acknowledge."

Willow sighed. She hadn't planned on talking to Kennedy about this. She hadn't filled her in on the Angel stuff. She figured Buffy wouldn't want that getting around. Still, it would be good to talk about her concerns with someone. Willow decided she could give Kennedy part of the story but leave out the Angel mess.

"Buffy wanted me to research on vampire families for blood rite stuff. For Spike. And it's kinda ooky," Willow said.

"Ooky how?"

"Well, vampires. You know how they are. But I'm afraid of what Buffy might do if she knew what I'd found out."

Kennedy frowned. "You think she might hurt Spike?"

Willow shook her head. "I'm afraid she might help him."