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Running from the Inevitable by The Enemy of Reality
 
Chapter twenty-three
 
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Previously: Buffy was under influence of the mighty Vodka and asked Spike whether he loved her. Is he going to fess up or skedaddle???

Love you kind readers and my betas (All4Spike and BloodyHell). :)


Chapter 23


Spike blanched as the words passed from her sweet lips. Not even the falling rain could wash away his shock. Was he that obvious? Did she see a lovesick fool every time she glanced his way? Could she see how much he was hers already? Because if she did, there was no way he’d get out of this with his heart intact.


“Do you?” she asked and through the sheer panic of having his heart exposed, he had failed to notice the insecurity veiled in her gaze.


“Yeah, I do,” he said in a shaky voice, expecting her to laugh, to tell him he was insane and that she could never love him back. After all, he’d never be her precious Angelus.


Instead she rose up on her toes and brushed her lips against his in the softest, most tender kiss they had ever shared. He cupped her face and stared into her eyes, confused and dizzy and absolutely clueless as to what he should do next. Did it mean she was okay with it? Or was she saying goodbye and trying to be gentle about it?


“Buffy?” God, how he hated this. That she held his entire existence in the palm of her hand. That he’d never been able to shake off his humanity that still stubbornly clung to his very core even after all the decades spent trying to purge it out.


“I don’t…” she said and he could feel his eyes tear up, expecting the unavoidable rejection. He’d never be good enough. Hadn’t he learned that lesson already? Maybe the alcohol finally gave her the courage to stop this insanity.


“I don’t understand. Why? Why would you love me?”


“What?” He struggled to process her words, the fact she hadn’t said she could never love him back. That she could doubt herself when she was the embodiment of everything he didn’t deserve but couldn’t help but crave.


“I… I’m not… Everyone leaves. And it’s got to be my fault. Beca-”


He palmed her cheeks and kissed the words right off her lips. He couldn’t stand seeing her like this. Hurting because his selfish bastard of a Grandsire didn’t appreciate her for what she was. “No. Don’t you dare say it. You’re the best bloody woman I’ve ever met. You care. And if there’s any man stupid enough to not realise then I say… their loss.” I’ll stay for as long as you let me.


She pressed her face against his chest and the warm breath sinking into his flesh made him realise they were standing there getting soaked to the bone. That the outside world still existed and if he didn’t get her into the room, she’d start getting cold eventually, even if it was a summer day.


“Let’s get you in, yeah?”


She nodded and let him pull her inside.


*******


When Buffy woke up, the sun was beginning to fall behind the horizon and she quickly squeezed her eyes shut at the headache pounding inside her skull. All the things she’d said last night came rushing back to her. Yes, she had been pretty drunk, but not as drunk as she’d let Spike believe. She’d just… she’d wanted an excuse to let go. To just be for one night without having to worry about consequences. Whoever said that alcohol was liquid courage had most definitely been right.


She then noticed the arm wrapped around her waist and the solid presence of Spike spooned against her back. With a slight smile, she traced the length of his fingers. He had such beautiful hands.


After they’d gone back inside, Spike had ordered her to take her clothes off so she wouldn’t catch a cold. Of course, lacking her usual coordination, her elbows had gotten trapped in her tank top. To Spike’s credit, he acted a perfect gentleman and didn’t laugh much when he helped her out of it and eased his spare button-up shirt over her shoulders, his fingers brushing over her skin when he buttoned it up from top to bottom. Not to mention he even blow-dried her hair.


“You up?” came a groggy voice from behind.


“Yes.”


“How do you feel?”


“Like I’ve been run over by a truck, pretty much.”


She felt him tense suddenly. “Do you… do you remember last night?”


She could have lied and said she didn’t remember a thing that she didn’t know he loved her, but was it really fair to him? Then again she wasn’t quite ready to confess her own feelings yet and she didn’t know what was the right thing to say anymore.


“Bits and pieces,” she finally said.


“If you… if you want to say something or… well, just let’s get it out in the open, yeah?”


She twisted around and wrapped her arms around his waist. “Thank you for taking care of me.”


Slowly, he relaxed against her and said quietly, “You’re welcome. Told you I’d look after you.”


She pulled away enough to be able to look him in the eye. “I knew you would. I trust you.”


Spike smiled, a hesitant shy quirk of his lips that squeezed her heart. “Slayer trusting a vampire. You sure there isn’t apocalypse just around the corner?”


“Spike, there’s always an apocalypse around the corner.” She kissed his collarbone. “But the two of us are badass enough to handle it, right?”


“Right you are.”


And she had a feeling he understood what she was trying to say. That she did want him in her life and his answer had just told her that he wouldn’t mind staying. Still, they only had a couple of hours before they would be in Sunnydale and she prayed everything would turn out okay in the end. She tightened her arms around him and closed her eyes when he kissed the top of her head.


*******


They had made it far enough to retrieve Spike’s DeSoto and she was sitting on the bench seat next to him. With every passed kilometer, her stomach tightened with anxiety she couldn’t shake nor she could pinpoint the reason for it. It felt as though Sunnydale was a completely different planet rather than home and once the reality intruded, the entire world she had built around Spike and her would come crashing down like a house of cards.


She didn’t want him to leave.


The scary thing was, she had come to need him, to want him by her side, always making with the innuendos and naughty touching, smiling in a way that made her heart jump in her chest. She had come to crave the things he made her feel, talking to him and just being close enough to touch him.


Spike’s hand landed on her knee and she realised she had been bobbing it up and down in a nervous tick.


“Are you alright?”


She interlaced her fingers with his, reveling in the slight callous of his skin, the security of his larger palm enveloping hers. She really loved his hands.


“I’m okay.”


Spike let out a sigh and she glanced up from their hands to take in his expression when he suddenly killed the engine and parked the car off the road.


“Why are you stopping?”


“There’s something I want to do.”


“Like what?”


Her curiosity got piqued when he let go of her in order to open the car door and climb out. Before she knew what hit her, Spike was holding the door on her side open and offering his hand with a roguish grin.


“May I have a dance, Buffy?”


She stared at him and then let out a shocked laugh. “What are you doing?”


Nonetheless she took his hand and felt him effortlessly haul her to her feet. She couldn’t help but stare around and the deserted road and up at the clouded sky, wishing it was clear so she could see the twinkle in Spike’s eyes better.


“You know, I had a dream once,” he said and pulled her into his arms.


“What about?” She circled his waist and smiled against his collarbone, feeling both silly and elated as they started to sway to the beat of the silent night.


“You. Me. You wore this tight little number.”


“Really? Well, at least I wore clothes.”


“Oh, love. Believe me, it wasn’t too far off from me tearing it off.” Spike chuckled and rubbed her back. “The thing is, we were dancing, I guess you could say. There was some fighting involved too.”


“Did I kick your butt?”


“You wish, Slayer.”


“So I take it I did.”


He growled and bit her earlobe. “Minx. Now stop interrupting me. I was about to get to the point.”


She grinned, closing her eyes at the feel of his breath tickling her ear. “Sorry, go on.”


“The point is… that ever since I woke up all I wanted to do was this. Just have a dance with you. Your body against mine, bathing me in your scent, your skin at my fingertips,” he said. “Does that answer your question?”


She shivered and tried to control her breathing. “There was a question?”


She couldn’t see his face but she knew he was smiling against her hair. “You asked me what I was doing.”


“Oh.” They stopped moving and simply stood there, surrounded by the dust covered main road and the sounds of crickets. Just hugging. As she wrapped her arms around him tighter, she wished they could stay like this forever, enclosed within their self created world under the safe cover of darkness


Neither of them wanted to go back but neither said a word. Buffy couldn’t help but feel the desperation mounting in his every touch and every unnecessary breath he exhaled and she had no idea what to say to reassure him nothing had to change. The future was a shaky ground and she could barely keep her footing as it was. Just something over a week and he had made her world careen off its axis.


“Come on then. We should go.”


She clutched at the back of his T-shirt before letting him go. They would make it.


They had to.


*******


The surroundings turned familiar and she vaguely recognised the buildings lining the side of the road. Never bothering with the seat belt to begin with, she scooted over to Spike and rested her head against his shoulder, her hand landing on his firm thigh.


“I can’t believe we’re almost there,” she mumbled, more to her than to Spike.


“Your chums will be glad to see you’re back.”


“I guess. They have been pretty busy lately… they probably didn’t even notice.”


“Sure they did. I bet the little Witch is hankering for a good sit down and a girly chit chat. You’ll be painting each other’s nails in no time.”


Buffy snorted. “How old do you think I am?”


“Spoken like a true pensioner.”


“Hey! Watch it, pal, or there will be no kisses for you.”


He ran his heated gaze all over her exposed skin. “Love, I’d be hot for you even if your tits got all saggy.”


“How romantic of you,” she said with sarcasm and swatted his thigh.


“Resulting to violence, I see?”


A slow smirk that could rival his curled her lips. Oh, she could punish him in so many better ways that would shut him up real quick. She gave his thigh a good squeeze.


Spike shot her a glance, his eyebrow cocked. “Getting awfully friendly with my leg there, love.”


“It was winking at me.”


Spike waggled his eyebrows at her. “I’ve got other things that could be winking at you.”


She giggled. “That must have been the worst innuendo I’ve ever heard.” Then she dragged her fingers higher and higher until her pinky skimmed the edge of the considerable bulge between his legs. That wiped that smart ass grin right off his face.


When she finally cupped him through the jeans, Spike gripped the steering wheel hard and swallowed heavily.


“If you keep that up, I’m gonna wreck the car.”


“No, you won’t.” She squeezed the rapidly hardening flesh under her palm and licked a path up the side of his throat then nipped at the tender skin with her teeth.


“Christ,” he managed to mumble in a husky voice that instantly turned her into jell-o. The plan was kind of starting to backfire on her. But it was all his fault! Him and his sexy growling noises that made her press her thighs together to stifle the ache resulting from touching him.


“Do you like this?” she asked in a breathy voice, reveling in the way the muscles in his jaw ticked as he fought for self-restraint. Still, his eyes remained glued to the road ahead even when she started to rub him slowly but firmly, making him gasp and splay his legs wider to grant her easier access.


“Bloody hell, yes.”


The teasing was a double edged sword and she had to force her hand away and plant it on his thigh instead before things got even more out of control. “Good.”


“W-what?” It took him a while to shake of the daze and she would have snickered if she weren’t aroused as well. Still, he totally deserved to be teased. After all, he did it every chance he got, the sexy fiend.


“Why did you stop?” he asked.


“That was for the saggy boobs comment.”


Spike groaned.


All of a sudden, she couldn’t get to Sunnydale fast enough.


TBC


 

 
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