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Running from the Inevitable by The Enemy of Reality
 
Chapter twenty-five
 
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Chapter 25


The talk with her mother had drained Buffy of her very last ounce of energy. The welcome scent of her bedroom and familiar squeak of her mattress as she sat down heavily only deepened the hollow feeling within. It didn’t exactly go well. It just… went.


Naturally, her mother gave her a concerned look, the wrinkles around her eyes somehow more pronounced under the realization her daughter was a big screw up who couldn’t keep her hands off the undead population. But she didn’t kick her out of the house and she seemed to have come to terms with the possibility of Spike being around.


After all, she was her mother and she loved her no matter what.


In the end, all her mother wanted was to know she was safe and happy, and if Spike was what it took, Joyce wouldn’t stand in their way. But her mother wasn’t fully aware of the whole big fiasco that was the aftermath of Angel becoming Angelus, courtesy of one Buffy Summers and her sucky track record of birthday celebrations. Her mother didn’t know just how much wreckage that event had resulted in.


Buffy’s muscles screamed in exhaustion as she collapsed on her back yet her eyes refused to close. All she could think about was how much worse things would turn out once Giles, Willow and Xander found out.


Then there was Spike.


Just a couple of hours bereft of his presence and she already wished they hadn’t come back. As soon as she rolled onto her side, she clutched the closest pillow to her chest, missing the lingering scent of his skin on the linen.


She wished they could have always been enclosed in the little bubble of their self made world. She wouldn’t even mind the crappy motels as long as she could just be. Because with Spike, he never expected her to be anything but herself. She didn’t have to be a hero, untouchable and faultless. She didn’t have to be a good student and a perfect daughter. She was just Buffy.


And she wasn’t willing to give him up.


*******


They all acted so normal. Too normal. It raised her suspicions until all her mind was screaming was that they somehow knew, that they were aware she had a giant secret she was keeping from them. The fact turned her from nervous to downright paranoid until she thought she’d snap. Maybe it really was just her nerves playing tricks on her and Xander wasn’t looking at her suspiciously from the corner of his eye as he stuffed his face full of sugar glazed doughnut and made snappy remarks designed to drive Giles crazy.


“So how are you doing?” Willow asked as she sat down next to her on the ratty couch. “I haven’t seen you in almost two weeks. Giles told us you went to hunt down Amazons. What was it like?”


Good old Willow. She had missed her and she felt a pang of guilt that she left Willow out of the loop. That wasn’t what best friends were supposed to do.


“Ah, you know. It was okay. Just your regular slayage day.” Liar, liar, liar… “What about you? Did you and Oz go to LA like you planned to?”


Willow’s eyes lit up at the sound of Oz’s name and Buffy found herself happy for her as Willow animatedly described the trip. Maybe it was selfish but she’d always felt a bit jealous of the connection between Willow and Oz. But not now. And maybe, just maybe, Willow would find it in herself to feel happy for her too.


“Will? We’re friends, right?”


Willow frowned, looking at her with unspoken question in her eyes. “Of course we are.” Her face fell. “It’s me isn’t it? I’m a bad friend. Are you telling me I’m a bad friend? Because I can do better! I’m sorry I haven’t been much around lately. And I know with the whole Angel badness and missage of him I should hav-”


“No, that’s not what I… You’re not a bad friend. You’re my very best one. And it’s not about Angel. I just… there’s something I need to tell you and you’re not going to like it.”


“What is it? “


“Actually, I think I should tell everyone.” She stood up and cleared her throat until Xander and Giles stopped bickering and turned their attention to her. Her knees were definitely not shaking. Not even a little.


“What’s with the serious look, Buffster?” Xander shook the doughnut box in his hands. “I didn’t eat the chocolate ones, see?”


She took a deep breath and before her brain could catch up to her actions, she blurted out, “I’m in love with Spike!”


Silence.


She could barely catch a breath and she thought she might be hyperventilating because the sudden laughter that left Xander holding his stomach barely squeezed past the cotton filling her ears.


“Good one, Buff!”


Willow laughed nervously and Giles only stared at her, his brows furrowed.


“I’m not kidding,” Buffy whispered.


As abruptly as the sound burst forth, it died down and the buzzing of silence returned full force, worse than ever. Her own heartbeat was barreling in her ears and she wished she could just run out and be swallowed by the sound of outside traffic as they all stared at her. She wanted to but couldn’t because her feet wouldn’t move.


“I’m in love with Spike,” she found herself repeating just to override the sudden tension.


It didn’t help.


“He stumbled drunk to my front porch a couple weeks ago and he passed out and then we fought and we ended up running from the Amazons because Spike said my name and I got shot and Spike got shot and we had to keep running.” She took in a ragged breath, unable to stop the barrage of words spilling forth from her lips.


“This whole time, we’ve been together. He saved my life twice and fed me jell-o and after that I didn’t know if I wanted to punch him or do other stuff, and then we got closer and he makes me laugh. Do you know the last time anyone made me do that? But he can, and he’s so… he’s different and he sees me. He even bought me a stuffed rabbit and even if he can be a jerk, he’s still sweet. I don’t expect anything from you. I know you must think I’ve gone crazy and maybe I have, but please I couldn’t take it if you hated me because of this.”


She couldn’t lift her eyes to take in their expressions. Trying to suppress panic gnawing to claw its way to the surface, she plopped on the couch and ran a tired hand through her hair.


They started to talk all at once.


“You shacked up with Deadboy Junior?”


“Are we talking the-bottle-in-your-face Spike?”


“I knew you were hiding something from me. I should have gone and found you…”


“Are we sure she’s not under some kind of spell?”


“Spike as in William the Bloody?”


Suddenly, something within her snapped and she couldn’t take it anymore. She jumped back to her feet, stunning them into silence. Xander regarded her with disbelief and a healthy dose of anger while Willow seemed to be trying to figure out the facts. And Giles? Giles wasn’t even looking at her anymore.


“This isn’t up for discussion.” She raised her hand when Xander opened his mouth to protest. “Believe me, I know what you think. Got the message loud and clear but honestly… it’s none of your business. I don’t need you to approve of who I’m dating.”


“Tell that to Miss Calendar,” Xander said and Buffy could feel her eyes well up with tears despite her resolution to keep it together.


But then Giles spoke and it shocked her more than anything.


“Enough, Xander!” He pulled the glasses from his face and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. “That was uncalled for. Jenny… what happened was not Buffy’s fault. It’s not fair to place it on her shoulders.” He turned to Buffy. “Don’t take this as a sign of my approval because if what you’ve said is true… I think you’re being stupid. Do you honestly think he’ll stop killing? He has no soul, no conscience. It’s his instinct.


“But I can’t tell you what to do. As you said, you made your choice and you’ll have to live with the consequences of your actions,” Giles said.


She swallowed through the lump in her throat and nodded. “You’re right. It is my choice. But you’re wrong about him.”


“For all our sakes, I hope you’re right.”


It didn’t feel right to stay there any longer so she picked up the house keys from the coffee table and left. Right as she strode away from Giles’ house, steps patted down the sidewalk before someone touched her shoulder. Buffy tensed up and spun around to see Willow standing there with a pained expression on her face.


“You walk really fast,” Willow said.


“Yeah, kinda not keen on getting yelled at. Don’t know if I can hear you say you hate me now so if that’s why you follo-”


Willow’s eyes widened. “No! No I don’t. And neither does Xander or Giles. They’re just… we’re all just a bit shocked. And worried. I mean, two weeks ago you hated Spike. Right?”


Buffy shrugged. “I didn’t know him then.”


“And let’s not forget he was hell bent on making you very dead last year.”


“Yeah, there’s that.” Buffy sighed. “But it’s different now. It’s crazy and weird, I get that. But… he kinda makes me happy.”


“So it’s really true then? You and Spike are … with the, you know… smoochies?” Willow stared at her with curiosity.


“That and some.” Buffy tucked her hands into the pockets of her jeans, her shoulders hunched.


“You got groiny with Spike?” Willow’s cheeks reddened as she said it but the lack of judgment in her voice made Buffy believe her best friend would have her back once she worked through the shock.


“I think we’ve already established it’s Spike,” Buffy said with a spark of amusement. “And no, we haven’t… not yet. But God, I want to jump his bones. Like asap.”


“Buffy!”


She jutted her lower lip in a pout. “Sorry for the TMI. I know you don’t approve, but I could really use a best friend. I have all these feelings and no one to talk to about them. ”


“W-well… we could talk. You can walk me home,” Willow announced and patted Buffy on her back as they started to walk. “So what are Spike smoochies like?”


Buffy grinned.


*******


As the day trickled by, Buffy’s day got suckier and suckier, the only positive point being Willow’s support even if it was a bit reluctant. Seriously, just how many goo covered things planned on attacking her tonight? It was like a huge flood had washed them right into the Hellmouth just to make her miserable. Considering they stank like fish as well, she wouldn’t be surprised if someone told her the assbutts up above had it in for her today.


The last one she’d beheaded a couple of seconds ago got in the last laugh and knocked her down, right into a headstone.


“Arrgh!” She swiped a glob of yellow slime off her cheek and winced at the dull throbbing in her lower back where she’d hit the stone.


For a minute she just lay there, the hard ground under her like sandpaper grating her skin. With a teeth clenching determination, Buffy propped herself up and staggered to her feet. Great. Now the throbbing stepped aside to invite in slicing agony that had her gasping for breath, her shoulders tightening under the pain of strained tissues.


The walk home seemed to take forever and she had never been more grateful for the lazy squeak of the front porch when she finally stepped on it.


She unlocked the door and dragged her tired form inside, fumbling in the dark to switch on the light in the hallway.


“Mom?”


Nope. Nothing on the Mom front. Joyce had been planning on sorting something out at the gallery though Buffy’s suspicions had popped up like a persistent Jehovah witness when she’d seen her mom put on her diamond earrings and dab her neck with expensive perfume.


The thought of her mother on a date with some hairy-chested, gaudy jewelry wearing gigolo was way too squicky to handle. She was at the gallery, all alone and definitely not smooching some stranger…


God, what if he has a moustache? And a golden tooth!


Buffy’s shoulders dropped even lower as she trudged up the stairs to her room, upset and stinky.


Just one bubbly bath, that’s what I need. Just one lovely, soothin-


The door bell rang and for a moment Buffy gave the option of not answering a serious thought.


She so shouldn’t have turned on the freaking light. Great. She couldn’t get a respite, apparently. And why should she, when almost everything had gone straight to hell for the entire day?


Buffy grouched as she went to answer the door. She really didn’t need to deal with more lecturing and accusations from anyone right now. The door’s hinges whined in protest as she swung it open with just a little more force than necessary.


“What do you wa-”


Spike was standing there, obviously trying not to fidget, his hands behind his back


“Hello, Buffy.”


“Spike,” she said, surprised. “You rang the bell.”


“Isn’t that what people usually do when they come visit?”


“What if my mom was home?”


Spike shrugged. “Didn’t think that far ahead.”


She couldn’t help it. She grinned. Leave it to Spike to lift her mood.


He frowned and tilted his head to the side. “Why do you smell like fish?”


Or not.


She glanced down at her ruined top with a sigh of dismay. “Patrolling. Goo demons. The rest is stinky, gross history. I was just going to take a bath when you arrived.”


“Sorry. Didn’t mean to bugger up your plans,” he mumbled and dropped his gaze to the faded wooden porch. “I got you something.”


“Like a present?” She craned her neck to see what was behind his back when it occurred to her she was being rude. “Oh, sorry. Come on in.”


He slipped past her and when she closed the door and turned around, Spike was handing her a bouquet of wild flowers with a bashful smile on his face.


“Do you like them?”


Invisible fingers wrapped around her heart and squeezed. “I love them.”


Their hands brushed as she took the flowers and her skin tingled all the way to the kitchen. No card, no flashy wrapping, just some kind of vine tying them together. Did he go and pick them himself? Somehow, the thought of Spike picking flowers and without a doubt grumbling and casting stray glances around to scan the area for potential tattlers that could ruin his Big Bad reputation made her all warm and fuzzy inside.


As soon as she stretched out to grab a flower vase from a cupboard above her head, sharp pain lanced up her back, needles prickling her muscles in the aftermath.


Fingers splayed across her back. “Are you alright?”


With a flick of her wrist, she turned on the faucet and watched the water slosh around as it filled the vase.


“I’ll be fine. Just fell down during patrol. No biggie.”


“But it hurts, yeah?” Spike asked, his voice resonating with concern.


She shrugged, not too willing to admit weakness. That just wasn’t in her make-up. She was supposed to be strong, after all. “I’ve had worse.” Well, that much was true.


Spike made a clucking sound of displeasure and she turned off the faucet before placing the flowers in the vase.


“No need to go all heroic on me, Buffy. You know that.”


She turned on her heel. “I’m not. I was just trying to say that you don’t need to worry about me.”


“Like that’s ever gonna happen.” He leaned in and kissed her shoulder, his cool lips a relief on her heated skin.


“Don’t kiss me when I’m gross like this.”


He shook his head and rested his hands on her sides, trapping her between the counter and his muscular body. “Don’t care. Now, you’re going to let me take care of you.”


He squished her lips with his forefinger when she opened her mouth to argue.


“I know you don’t need my help. This isn’t about that. Now nod.”


“It’s just a-”


Spike tapped her lips with his finger and raised his eyebrow. “You’re a stubborn little thing, aren’t you. Alright. How about this? I’m not giving you a choice here. Now, this is how it’s going to go. You’ll get your tight little arse into the bathroom, strip down until you’re all luscious and naked and then you’ll slip into the nice warm water to soak. Maybe put in some of the fruity girly stuff you chits fancy so much.” He pressed his body into hers and caressed the spot behind her ear with his lips, his hand shifting to cup the back of her neck. “Then I’ll sneak in all quiet like to help you out. Wash your back and all those achies away. What do you say?”


Well, if he put it that way… “Well… maybe. I mean my lower back does hurt,” she said.


“See? Good thing I happened by then.” He nibbled on her earlobe. “I’ll take good care of you, love.”


Her eyes dipped shut when he started to play with the piercing in her ear. “Okay.”


“Good girl,” he whispered in a deep baritone that vibrated through her every cell.


She jumped when he gently slapped her ass. “Now get your gorgeous self into the bathroom. I’m right behind you.”


She could only whimper.


TBC

 

A/N: This was the longest chapter yet. There's about four more to go before the end! :)

 
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