I hear you, I hear you… you’re all cursing at me for letting you wait so long… Well, this chapter proved itself a bit troublesome to write… I wanted it to contain so many things… Anyway, it’s here now, enjoy!
 

Chapter Fourteen - With Or Without You
 
 
 “See the thorn twist in your side
I wait for you
Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails she makes me wait
And I wait without you
[…] Through the storm we reach the shore
You give it all but I want more
And I’m waiting for you…”
U2, With Or Without You
 
 
Buffy was lying in her bed, her mind replaying all the day’s events. Basically, she now had more help with Faith and Angel, but still no clue as to who Caleb was or the reason of his presence. It was like having extra arms and nothing to do with them! And people kept dying in the meantime…
 
She was also confused about her meeting with Abby. Her Slayer instincts had been screaming  ‘Demon! Kill it kill it kill it!’  but her experience told her that sometimes networking with harmless demons could work to her advantage. Alright, Abby wasn’t exactly harmless, but she didn’t kill, as a rule. Her ‘victims’ just slept while they recovered from the energy loss. And the stealing part wasn’t exactly harmful either…
 
Another part that had her brain working overtime was how quickly she got over the idea of Spike having sex with Abby wearing her face. A year ago, she would have freaked and probably beaten the vampire to a pulp. Not now. Was she blinded by love or simply older, wiser?
 
She was still debating with herself when she heard a tap at her window. She looked with a frown only to find a certain British vampire grinning from ear to ear right outside.
 
She couldn’t help but beam back as she jumped out of bed to open the window.
 
“Spike, what are you doing here?” she whispered.
 
“Well I remember a certain little lady asking me to join her and be – what was the word you used? – ungentlemanly. So here I am. Gunna lemme in?”
 
“No, I mean, yes, but why the window? Wouldn’t the door be just as efficient?”
 
“Yeah, sure, but where’s the fun in that? So, love, can I come in? It’s a bit nippy out here…”
 
“Of course you can!”
 
He slid through the window in one fluid movement. As soon as he was back on his feet, he took her face in his hands and started to pepper her lips with small soft kisses.
 
“Why did you have to ask?” she managed to say between kisses as her arms encircled his wait. “It’s not like I ever got your invite revoked…”
 
“I know. Just nice, is all. Tell me again, pet.”
 
She quickly caught upon what he meant. “I love you, Spike.”
 
“Again.”
 
She laughed softly. “I love you. Am I going to have to repeat myself every time?”
 
“God, yes! I’ll never tire of hearin’ that! Love you, Buffy, love you so bloody much…”
 
As he started a path a kisses down his neck, he suddenly pulled back. “What’s this then?”
 
He indicated Buffy’s choice of sleepwear: a pale pink satin chemise, with a  very  low neckline and a high hem.
 
“Oh, that…” she said in mock shyness. “Kind of an impulse buy… Gayle and I were going through the lingerie store at the mall, and she said I just had to have some satiny stuff… Had no idea you’d get to see it…”
 
“That right?” he said with a lewd smile, as a finger started to pull the thin straps down…
 
“Maybe… I might just not have wanted to admit it at the time… D’you like it?” She bit her lip in expectation. She looked so damn delicious …
 
“Oh I like it, pet, I do. Could eat you all up. Ooh, there’s an idea…”
 
Before she could get what he meant, he had dropped to his knees and lifted her by the thighs in such a way that she fell on her mattress with a squeal. Her legs were off the bed, though, and between them was the face of a very horny/hungry vampire…
 
Spike bunched up the material to her waist… and grinned. “No panties, Slayer? Naughty, naughty…”
 
She giggled again. “What can I say? You’re a bad influence…”
 
“What, me?” he said in mock  shock. “Why, I’m sure –” he licked her slit from bottom to top, “ – I have –” gave an open kiss on top of her mound, “ – no idea –”  nibbled at her nether lips, “ – what you mean…” and finally clasped his mouth over her quivering clit.
 
Buffy moaned. Okay that’s at least two fruit baskets I owe Gayle… Ooooh, makes that three…
 
Spike dined on her clit, stopping now and then to lick her sopping entrance. He reveled in her mewls and moans. When he started to worry the little nubbin with blunt teeth, her back arched off the bed and she had to bite her own fist to keep from wailing. He smiled smugly: “Too much, sweetheart?”
 
“Oh God,” she rasped, “If you stop now, I swear I’ll dust you!”
 
“That’s my girl…” He replaced his mouth with his fingers while lips trailed softly up her abdomen. He flicked her clit with his thumb while slipping his index and middle finger inside her. Her heat was scorching. Made him wonder if his fingers would burn off…
 
He helped her out of her sexy chemise and his lips closed around a nipple. Buffy tried again to stifle her moans with her fist. “Spiiike!”
 
“That’s me, love, what can I do for you?” he said between ministrations.
 
“Too… many… clothes…”
 
He stood up, and she whimpered first at the loss of his hands, but then kept her gaze on him as he shed his clothes. First the duster, then his t-shirt, and finally his jeans. His cock sprang out, hard and ready, and so mouth-watering  that she suddenly had the urge to taste it… Taste all  of him…
 
His mouth back on hers however put a rain-check on that plan. She felt him tease her entrance with the tip of his cock, but she was so not  in the mood for teasing! Every inch of her skin felt on fire. She needed him so bad; needed his touch, his cool skin, his love … She wrapped her legs around his hips and pulled him in.
 
Spike gasped. “God, Buffy… so fucking tight…” He rasped as she engulfed him to the hilt. He would have liked to worship her body a little longer, but if she wanted him now, he was only too happy to oblige… He started a slow rhythm, burying his face in her hair and inhaling her scent. He could smell her powerful blood just beneath the soft surface of her fragrant skin. His demon screamed  ‘Mate!’   and demanded a taste…
 
Too soon… too soon… he forced the demon back and started murmuring sweet endearments into Buffy’s ear.
 
Buffy bit her lip to keep herself from moaning out loud. It just wouldn’t do to wake up the whole floor with her pleasure… She met him thrust for thrust, trying to increase the pace, but Spike had apparently decided to take his time tonight. Bastard…  She’s show him…
 
She squeezed him with her internal walls as hard as she could. One of the good sides of having a supernatural boyfriend: no holding back necessary! Spike’s eyes snapped open, as if they were about to pop out of his skull. His usual smug grin was soon back in place though. “Why, you lil’ vixen! I’ll teach you to behave…” He started to quicken his thrusts…
 
Buffy started to pant. “That’s… uhnn… rich coming from you… mmm…” She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and back, her forehead buried in the crook of his neck, trying to bring him even closer to her than he already was… Deep inside something called out for him, something raw and needy… Something she had never felt with any other lover. Something primal …
 
They kissed again, a deep and claiming kiss. They both felt their orgasm nearing. It grew and swelled within them, within that place that was heaven and perfection and just theirs…
 
Buffy fell over the edge first, her climax erasing the confinements of her own body as she dissolved into bliss. She was close to screaming her pleasure when that primal part of her suddenly took over and she buried her teeth in Spike’s skin, just where his neck met his shoulder.
 
It took Spike all his willpower not to shout as his release exploded inside her. Climax with Buffy was always incredible, but that one was beyond everything he’d ever known! As he came down from his high, realization hit him: Buffy had just bit him! She had actually bit him! Bloody hell, she was still biting him!
 
“Buffy?”
 
She opened her eyes, and realized she still had her teeth embedded in her lover’s skin. What the heck? I’m biting Spike!   She quickly released him and looked up at him. Oh my God, what’s wrong with me? What’s he gonna think?
 
But his eyes were filled with nothing but awe and pure love. Does she have any idea what that means for me? For us?   “You bit me!”
 
“Erm… sorry?”
 
“God, baby…” he crushed his lips to hers. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?”
 
She smiled as she felt him hardening already inside of her. “Got a pretty good idea…” She wiggled her hips.
 
“Oh, Buffy, my sweet love… It’s only the beginning…” he purred as he started to thrust again…
 
In the next room, Gayle woke up with a start. Her hand flew to the side of her neck…
 
“Wow… didn’t see that one coming…”
 
__…-==-…__
 
As much as it pained him to leave Buffy’s bed and her warm embrace, Spike knew he had to. The sun was already up, but with a mad dash to the nearest sewer exit, he’d be back to his crypt in no time and none of the Scoobies would be the wiser.
 
Or at least that’s what he thought on his way down to the back door, which was in the kitchen where was exactly the location where Gayle was, reading the morning paper and drinking out of a steaming mug. There was a smell of fresh coffee in the air and a grin on her face as he arrived in the kitchen and stopped… well, ‘dead’.
 
“Ahem. Mornin’, Chirpy.”
 
“Morning. Spent the night here, huh?”
 
“I, erm, slept downstairs in the basement.”
 
“No, you didn’t.”
 
“Beg pardon?”
 
“Well, for one, you’re coming from upstairs…”
 
“Was havin’ a shower.”
 
“Your hair’s not wet!”
 
“Dried it, didn’t I?”
 
“And second: Faith slept downstairs. Now, I know you have a slayer fetish, but I still don’t see  that  happening.”
 
Spike couldn’t help but grin back. “Alrigh’, Jessica Fletcher, you caught me. Gonna make me a cuppa?”
 
“You gonna tell me about your night?”
 
“Nope.”
 
“I’ll make you a ‘cuppa’ anyway. Not one to kiss and tell, huh?”
 
“You should know that, pet…”
 
“Ass.”
 
“You love it.”
 
“Can’t say I don’t. It’s a mighty fine ass.”
 
“Stop, luv, you’re making me blush.”
 
“That would be quite an achievement”, said Dawn as she arrived in the kitchen and sat at the island. “What’re you blushing about? Or is this yet again a conversation I’m too young to hear?”
 
Spike raised an eyebrow. “What do you think, Nibblet?”
 
Dawn rolled her eyes. “That I’m hungry. Mama Gayle, would you make me some cereals, please?”
 
“Sure, honey. Berries and bran, still?”
 
The teen nodded enthusiastically. “Good to have you back, Mama!”
 
“Okay, one: I’m not completely back yet, and two: is that all I am to you? A cook?”
 
“Of course not. You’re also a maid and a sitter. Good staff is hard to find these days, ya know.”
 
“Ain’t that the truth. What did you eat while I was away?”
 
“You know Buffy’s cooking.  We called for pizza.”
 
“What!”
 
“Easy, girl. We ordered a Veggie one and a Ham & Pineapple. See? I got my intake of vitamins and proteins!”
 
Gayle rolled her eyes. She got on with breakfast as Buffy arrived in the kitchen. She stiffened at the sight of Gayle, who did the same and nodded at her. “Summers.”
 
“Masterson. Fine morning we’re having, wouldn’t you say?”
 
“Sun’s a-shining, birds’ a-singing, sky’s a-bluing. Fine indeed. Would you care for breakfast?”
 
“I would. Thank you. How was your evening?”
 
“Lovely company and excellent wining. As for –”
 
“Oh, stop it, Mary bloody Poppins and Eliza soddin’ Doolittle!” snapped Spike. “Can’t you just make up and ‘ave bloody done with it?”
 
Gayle gasped. “’Mary Poppins’? That’s worse than Chirpy!”
 
“Why am I Eliza Doolittle?” whined Buffy. “Why am the lower class girl while she’s the Oscar-winning role?”
 
“Stop it! Now we’re gonna all sit down, and have a nice, normal breakfast even if it’s the last thing we do, dammit!”
 
Both slayers were a bit taken aback by the Brit’s outburst. Wow… authority Spike… is it wrong that it’s getting me hot?   thought Buffy. Dawn was trying very hard to keep a straight face…
 
Gayle straightened up. “Buffy? Eggs or pancakes?”
 
“Mmm? Oh, eggs please.”
 
About five minutes later, Gayle laid a bowl of berried cereals in front of Dawn, a plate of eggs and bacon for Buffy, and a mug of blacker-than-black coffee for Spike, who took a sip. His eyes went wide. “There’s blood in this, right?”
 
Gayle nodded. “Otter’s. And a dash of chili pepper. My own recipe.”
 
“Bloody hell, that’s good coffee!” He attacked his mug like a man starved.
 
Buffy started to scowl at him. Spike felt her eyes drilling a hole in the side of his head and faced her.
 
“What? Well, I’m sorry, love, but the girl makes a mean cuppa! I actually think it bit me back!”
 
“Do you have to act like you’re making love to it?”
 
Gayle chuckled. “God, even a hot beverage, Buffy?”
 
“What do you mean?” the blonde slayer asked with a slight frown.
 
“I mean your jealousy!”
 
“I’m not jealous!”
 
“Oh please!”
 
“And you! Why do you always have to be all over him?”
 
“All over–? And even if I was, what would it be to you? Can’t have you, but he can’t have anyone else?”
 
“I’m sitting right here…” Spike sighed.
 
“Shut up!” said the slayers.
 
“I’m sitting right here!” Dawn voiced her discomfort.
 
Gayle shot a finger at her: “Eat! Dress! School!”
 
She was only rewarded with a grunt from the teen as she turned to face Buffy again. “Where were we?”
 
“Stop trying to steal my boyfriend!”
 
“I am not trying to steal your – Boyfriend?!? ”
 
As Gayle squealed that last word, her face the very picture of glee, Dawn gasped and her hands flew to her mouth in an attempt to keep her cereals there.
 
“Oh my god!” Gayle screeched. “As in, officially? Have you said the ‘I love you’‘s? Have you made love? As in, actual love, not just sex? You gonna go out on dates? With each other, I mean, ‘cos obviously you couldn’t date other people if you said the ‘I love you’‘s and made love and everything, that totally be wrong and – ”
 
Dawn interrupted by placating a hand over Gayle’s mouth. “What our blabbering friend here is trying to ask is: are you, like,  really  together now? As a couple?”
 
Gayle nodded frantically.
 
Buffy looked at Spike. He was waiting for her to answer, trying to keep a neutral look on his face. But she knew what was going on in his head. She knew what he wanted her to answer…
 
But was she ready for this? To admit her feelings to the world? Her unfortunate tongue slip already told her she wanted Spike in her life more than anything, but was she ready to act on it? She knew her relationship with the vampire was beyond strange, with the whole almost-killed-me-a-dozen-million-times history and all… If Gayle and Dawn knew about it now, it wouldn’t be long before the rest of the gang did… And then…
 
But she also knew that those girls were different from the rest of the gang. They didn’t care about differences. In fact, they embraced them and their own…
 
“Yeah…” she exhaled. “We’re together.”
 
Gayle squealed something that would have woken up the whole house if it hadn’t been muffled by Dawn’s hand. Both girls started to jump on the spot.
 
“I think they approve, love” Spike beamed at her. Buffy couldn’t help but beam back, he looked so happy. So here they were: out in the open. At least partly. She had to tell the rest of them now, no way she could keep it a secret anymore with that many people in the know…
 
She snapped back to the present as the girls were being… well, really girly. In fact, annoyingly so… “Hey, you two, will you please calm down? You’re acting like a couple of teens at the news that Justin and Britney got back together!”
 
“Justin and Britney got back together?!?” they screeched.
 
“Stop it!”
 
“Sorry…”
 
Buffy looked at Gayle. No traces of anger were visible anymore. “So, Mama… Are we cool?”
 
“If we’re cool? Darling, I’m so happy for you!” Gayle then pulled the blonde in for a hug.
 
Wow, Buffy thought. Make up with Spike = make up with Gayle. Who’d have thought?
 
Suddenly, Dawn grabbed Spike by the shoulders and made him face her. “Oh, Spike?”
 
“Yeah, Bit?”
 
“You sleep sometimes, right? Vampires do sleep?”
 
He arched an eyebrow. “Yeah, we do. Why?”
 
“Just so you know: you ever hurt my sister again after this… and you’re gonna wake up on fire. We clear?”
 
Spike swallowed hard. “Yeah pet, we’re clear.” When exactly did his lil’ Nibblet get so bloody scary?
 
“Good. So, now that I’ve done my sisterly duty, gimme a hug!”
 
“Not sure it’s safe…”
 
“Oh, come here, you Big Bad Baby!” She pulled him into a crushing hug.
 
“Did you tell the others? Don’t tell me we’re the last ones to know!” the newest slayer whined.
 
Buffy was reminded of her earlier internal conflict. “No,” she shrugged. “I told Angel last night, but that’s it.”
 
“So when’s the big announcement?”
 
“Well… I, erm, we… haven’t come to that part yet…”
 
“Oooh, is it a secret? For insuring secret naughtiness?”
 
“… you know me so well, it’s scary sometimes. It’s a good summary, yeah. But I guess we’ll have to come out of the closet soon…”
 
“We don’ have to if you don’t want to, luv…” Spike said gloomily. Once again his eyes were filled with doubt.
 
Buffy’s heart swelled. “Yes, we do. It’s time, Spike.”
 
He looked up at her again, and she was relieved to see that awe-filled expression back on his face. Gosh, it felt just so good and right to see him happy. “As much as I would have liked to stay secretly naughty a little longer…”
 
“Oh, you mean like Xander and Anya?” said Dawn.
 
“Puh-lease! We’re way sneakier than Xander and Anya!”
 
“If you say so…”
 
“ANYWAY… It’s time. I’ll tell the gang this afternoon. I can do this.”
 
In a flash, Spike’s mouth was on hers. A second later, she was thrown across his shoulder and carried up the stairs…
 
Dawn made a face. “I’m way too young to have seen that…”
 
Gayle sighed. “So… Anya and Xander…”
 
“Tara and Willow…” added Dawn.
 
“And now those two…”
 
They exchanged glances. Gayle said: “You’re too young.”
 
“You need a date.”
 
“Oh god, yeah I do…”
 
The door to the basement opened slowly, revealing a sleepy and grumpy Faith. “Geez, guys, have heart for a poor girl who’s been up all night, what’s with the squealing and stomping?”
 
Gayle exchanged a mischievous glance with Dawn before answering: “Justin and Britney got back together. Coffee?”
 
__…-==-…__
 
Buffy swallowed hard. “I can’t do this.”
 
“What? Why?” asked Gayle.
 
“They’ll wig!”
 
“They won’t.”
 
“Yes they will!”
 
“Okay, then. They’ll wig. Don’t say anything. But I’m not gonna be the one to tell Spike he still has to walk on eggshells around the gang. That will be your job.”
 
Touché… “Okay. If they kill me, will you avenge me?”
 
“They’ll know the true meaning of ‘Wrath of Gayle’! Come on: right foot, left foot…”
 
Gayle gently led Buffy through the door of the Magic Box, where she had called a Scoobie meeting for that late afternoon. The gang was there, even Dawn, who had just arrived from school. Buffy would have expected her sister to be buzzing with excitement, but she looked amazingly calm. For that she was grateful. Angel and Faith were still at home, catching on much-needed sleep.
 
Giles greeted his slayer with a warm smile. “Good afternoon, Buffy.” A short nod to Gayle: “Miss Masterson.” Contrarily to the rest of the Scoobies, Giles had never warmed up to Gayle… “Buffy, if this is about the stone slab, I have good knew: I’m nearly done with the translation! I just need…”
 
“Hey Buffster!”  interrupted Xander. “Mama Gayle, I just got a limited edition of Wrath of Khan, you want in?”
 
“You bet! Me-sa wants some Ricardo Montalbán badness!”
 
“Cool! How about you, Buffy? You up for some intergalactic pure badassness?”
 
Giles took off his glasses. “Really, Xander, I do believe there are more important things at –”
 
“Is that the one with that chick from Sex And The City?” asked Willow.
 
“No, she was in the Undiscovered Country, like four sequels later. Good one too.”
 
“Uhm, guys?” said Buffy shyly. “I… I have something to say…”
 
“So which one had Whoopi Goldberg in?” asked Anya.
 
Buffy cowered and was about to give up when Gayle took charge. “Hey guys! How would you feel about me being in love with Spike?”
 
An extremely loud  “WHAT???”   coming from all the Scoobies (Buffy included) was her reply.
 
“Are you quite mad?” Giles exclaimed
 
“Spike, of the evil vamp spikety Spike? That Spike?” said a dumbfounded Xander.
 
“What is it with him and slayers?” asked Willow. “ ‘Can’t kill ‘em, do ‘em’?”
 
“I knew he had a thing for slayers, but still…” wandered Anya.
 
Gayle raised both her hands. “Guys! No need to dwell on this for hours! I love Spike: are you all okay with this or not? Answers would be needed, like, right now!”
 
Understanding flashed across Willow’s face. She looked at Tara, who nodded softly, then back to Gayle. “Well, Mama, if you’re happy, we’re happy.”
 
Xander turned to her abruptly, saw the serenity of her expression, and softened. “Yeah… like Willow said. Hope it works out for you the way you want.”
 
Gayle smiled her very Gaylish smile and turned to Buffy. “See, darling? They’ve only known me a few weeks. How do you think they’ll react with you?”
 
As relief and gratitude spread across the blonde slayer’s face, the penny dropped in Xander’s head. “Oooh! Oooh! It’s not you, it’s Buffy! Buffy’s the one in love with Spike!”
 
Gayle turned back to him, still smiling. “Yes, Xander. Buffy’s in love with Spike. Got a problem with that?”
 
Xander remained speechless for a few more seconds, then shrugged. “Well… as long as I don’t have to like the guy…”
 
“He’ll grow on you.” Gayle then turned to Willow who had a devious look on her face. “I never fooled you for a second, did I?”
 
“Nope!” the redhead grinned.
 
“I’m definitely losing my touch…”
 
“Now hold on for a minute!” Giles shouted. “Buffy, have you completely lost your mind? Haven’t the past six years taught you anything?”
 
Buffy’s smile faded. “W-what? Giles, please, try to understand…”
 
“Oh but I understand perfectly the situation, Buffy! I understand that yet again, you’re letting your emotions getting in the way of your duty! I understand that YET AGAIN, your fascination with a vampire is getting the better of you! I understand that YET AGAIN, you’re putting us all in danger!”
 
This was exactly what Buffy had been afraid of. Exactly her nightmare coming true. She turned to Gayle, her voice strangled with emotion: “See? It’s always gonna be like this! Nobody will ever accept us! Everywhere we go, we’ll be shunned by everyone! How can I possibly keep this up?”
 
She flopped herself on a chair, folded her arm on the table and buried her head in them to cry.
 
Gayle’s heart broke when she saw her little back heaving with sobs. She turned to the rest of the gang with an angry look on her face.
 
“Out! All of you, and now.”
 
They just stared at her. Giles was outraged: “It’s my bloody shop!”
 
“You’re deaf as well as blind? Get out, I said, the girl needs some space! Out out out!”
 
She went to the front door and opened it, gesturing them once more to leave. Xander opened his mouth to protest, but Gayle shot him such a look that he decided shutting up might be a better idea if he wanted to ever speak again. Instead, he turned to Giles: “Just so you know, I totally blame YOU for this!”
 
Giles barely harrumphed in acknowledgement. One by one, they left to wait on the pavement.
 
“Do I have to go too?” asked Dawn.
 
“Especially you, darling. I need you to give the old man a good death glare while I take care of your sister.”
 
Dawn nodded. “You can count on me for that.”
 
“I knew you were the girl for the job. Give him hell.”
 
She closed the door behind the teen, and went back to Buffy, who was still sobbing heavily. She tried a soft approach by gently placing her hands on her shoulders, but Buffy just roughly pushed her off.
 
“Please don’t! I know what you’re gonna say!”
 
“You do?!” Good, one of us does…
 
“Yeah! You’re gonna tell me it’s going to be all right, that it will all work out in the end…”
 
Whoa, massive déjà vu here… Gayle thought.
 
“…that my friends will come around my feelings, and some similar crap!”
 
“Well most of them seem okay with it, sole exception being Watcher-man. But even if they were all against you, how could I tell you that? I have no idea if they ever will, I seem to have misplaced my crystal ball, but I ain’t gonna lie to you, it doesn’t look good…”
 
“Oh, thank you for that!”
 
“What? Would you want me to lie?”
 
“… no…”
 
“Okay then, I won’t. I don’t know if they’ll ever all fully accept your relationship with Spike, Buffy, but one think I know for sure: they don’t have to.”
 
Buffy’s eyes went wide. “What?”
 
“For fuck’s sake, Buff! How many times have you saved the world? How many times have you saved each and every one member of your little gang? Jeez, you’ve even died for them! Twice! The second time, they even decided you’d had enough forever-shut-eye and ripped you out of Heaven! You owe them nothing, they owe you! So if they can’t accept the man… pire you love despite all that you’ve done, you know what? Screw ‘em!”
 
Buffy just stared at her. And the scariest thing is it does make sense…
 
“If any of them give you shit about your love life after all that, then they don’t deserve to be your friends.”
 
“And you do?”
 
“Don’t make this about me. You’re just being childish in hope that I’ll let you go to your room and cry your eyes out. Ain’t gonna work, missy! Plus, you’re being overdramatic!”
 
“I’m  being overdramatic?”
 
“Yes, you are! You’re not even noticing that Giles is the only one who has a problem with this! Dawn and the witches are all on board, and did you hear Xander raise any protest? I know, that was a big surprise for me too, but still! Your friends love you, Buffy, they’re already beyond the wigging part! Giles might need a bit of work, but like I said: you don’t need his approval, even if you think you do. Once again, you’re seeing the worst where it doesn’t exist.”
 
Buffy sniffled.  Damn that woman when she’s right…  “What if Giles is right? What if it doesn’t work out?”
 
“Then you’ll hurt. Maybe a little, maybe a lot. You might even get your heart broken. Like a lot of people on this planet. Like every other human girl on the planet.”
 
Like every other girl…
 
“But you can’t always avoid the pain, Buffy. It’s what makes life what it is: life. But you will also have known happiness, even if it’s just a little bit. And that… that’s worth everything.”
 
Buffy started crying again. “Oh, Gayle… he’ in my blood, he’s in my heart, and I know I’ve hurt him so bad! And he’s hurt me so much too, but I couldn’t bring myself to hate him! I felt at first like I was betraying every slayer and every woman! Just by wanting him, longing for him! And I know  now we could be so good together! But they don’t! They can’t see him the way I can! Giles doesn’t even want to! Oh god… what do I do?”
 
Gayle said nothing. She got closer to the tearful child and placed one hand on her of Buffy’s shoulder. She then looked straight into Buffy’s eyes and said softly:
 
“Godspeed, my darling.”
 
Buffy’s eyes went wide in understanding. She knew what she wanted to do, what she  had  to do… She gave her sister slayer a crushing hug, then ran out of the shop with all the speed her powers would grant her, ignoring the stares of the Scoobies as she disappeared around a corner.
 
“Okay, now!” shouted Gayle from inside. “Your turn, guys! Get back in here!”
 
The gang re-entered the building, most of them confused except for two: Giles, who was fuming, and Dawn, who ran to Gayle and announced proudly: “I gave him the death-glaring of the century, Mama Gayle!”
 
“Well done, kiddo! I knew I could count on you!”
 
Giles roared. “Gayle, really! You can’t really expect us to go along with Buffy’s choice of…”
 
“Choice? CHOICE? What on earth makes you think she has one? Did you when you fell in love with that Calendar person? Did you”, pointing at Willow “when you fell for a woman?”
 
Willow made a face. “What are you going at me for? I’m all for the romance!”
 
“I know, honey, just bringing water to my mill, don’t pay attention. Or you” pointing at Xander “when you proposed to a demon?”
 
“Ex-demon.”, Anya pointed out.
 
“Not so much these days, though, right?”
 
“Not so much engaged either…”
 
“For fuck’s sake, Anya, gimme a break, will ya? I’m trying to make a point here!”
 
“Sorry. Shutting up now.”
 
“Thank you. Seriously, you’re acting like love has an off switch. Yes love can be bad sometimes, and love can hurt you, and you can love the wrong person, but… Geez, man! Even if it gives you one second of happiness, isn’t it worth it?”
 
“Gayle, you spoke yourself of a man that you’ve once loved deeply, and then left you horribly hurt…”
 
“Yes, so what? At least I can go to my grave having known perfection, however briefly! Something you are denying the poor girl! For fuck’s sake, we shouldn’t even be discussing this! Do you need it spelled out? It’s. None. Of. Your. Business!”
 
“It is if it puts our lives on the line! What if he decides he wants us dead again, now that the chip is out of his head?”
 
“Then I think she’ll hurt more than you. You’ll be dead. The dead don’t care. The living stay and suffer. At least  she  will let you  rest.”
 
Willow looked at her, horrified. “Gayle… ouch.”
 
“Sorry, hun. Water to my mill.”
 
“Does it have to be bloodstained?”
 
“Worked for Moses.”
 
“Good point.”
 
Giles grunted and took off his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Xander, a little help here…”
 
Xander just stared at the floor and stayed silent.
 
Giles repeated: “Xander?”
 
The younger man took a deep breath before speaking. “Honestly? You’re on your own, pal…”
 
A collective gasp was his response.
 
Giles’ mouth was agape. Was he hearing voices? “What? Xander, you can’t possibly be serious!”
 
“Yeah, well, I am. Giles, you’ve seen Buffy last year, when she came back. She was like a walking corpse… I don’t want her to go through that again… And if Spike can help her…”
 
“You said it yourself: he tried to rape her!”
 
“Tried  being the important word, G-man.”
 
“Xander!”
 
“Well, why d’you think it hurt her so much? I mean, how would you be feeling if someone you were sure would never hurt you was suddenly the cause of your  greatest pain?”
 
Gayle smiled as the boy used her words. Damn, I’m good…
 
Xander continued: “We’ve all been there with Angelus. But also we’ve all caused the people we love pain, we can’t possibly call ourselves innocents! You with Buffy’s Crucia-thingy, Willow with her memory spells… and me” he handed out a hand to Anya, who looked at him expectantly, “when I hurt the woman I loved and still love, when I had promised her I would take care of her…”
 
Anya beamed at him and took his hand.  ‘Still’ love?   He pulled her up and brought her flush against him. “We’re all trying to make amends. So is Spike. Yet he’s the only one whose amends we never want to see, and that’s… well that’s unfair!”
 
Giles gaped. “Who the bleeding hell are you?”
 
“It’s still me, Giles. I just got my eyes open, that’s all.”
 
Giles frowned and turned to Gayle. “And I bet I know who is responsible for this brand new eyesight…” he said while turning to glare at Gayle.
 
The Pennsylvanian slayer raised her hands in a defensive manner. “Whoa, don’t shoot me just yet, dude! I just had a little talk with the boy to spare everybody some pain, is all!”
 
Giles almost growled. “Yes. ‘Just a little talk’. Just like you got everyone around your little finger! But I see what you’re doing, young lady! And you don’t give a bloody damn about the consequences of you actions, do you, miss look-at-me-I-can’t-help-but-being-perfect!”
 
“Ouch, you wound me so. You wanna play that game, Watcher? Well you came to the right person, ‘cos I got lot o’ bullets in that belt, asshole!”
 
“More than connections in your brain, I’d wager, you prissy little cow!”
 
“Ya tryin’ to be scary, Jeeves? Gotta tell ya, it ain’t working.”
 
“Why, you moronic pest…”
 
“Gigantic twerp!”
 
“Nosey parker!”
 
“Son of – I’m sorry, what?”
 
“Okay, guys?” Dawn intervened. “I can actually feel the flying of fur coming this way, and I really wouldn’t want anyone to get hurt…”
 
“Yes, quite right…”
 
“I meant you, Giles.”
 
“I’m sorry?”
 
“You’re alone against a slayer. Granted, she’s a rookie, but still, I’ve seen her fight and I can guarantee that you’ll be at the losing end. So I’m saying this with love, really: drop it, Rupert!”
 
Giles’ mouth fell open and he felt it would probably remain so for the rest of his life. He turned back to face Gayle, expecting to see a smug smile plastered on her face, but there wasn’t. She was just glaring at him with tightened lips and cold anger in her eyes.
 
He then circled the room with his eyes. The anger was Gayle’s alone. The other children in the room seemed only to be pleading. In truth he hadn’t been so angry since his Ripper days. But he saw that anger would not lead him anywhere tonight. With one last look at Gayle, he grunted and promptly went to the door, putting his jacket on.
 
Tara followed him. “Giles…”
 
“Please understand , Tara: I hold you in the highest respect, but I do not wish to hear anything you have to say.”
 
“Well, you’re going to anyway: we’re not ganging up on you… we just want Buffy to be happy.”
 
“You certainly have a strange way of showing it. Anya, thanks in advance for locking up. Good night.” He then left, not caring how deep his word cut the blonde witch.
 
Giles got into his car, his jaw tightly locked. On the drive home, he was calculating the time difference between California and England. He had a few phone calls to make…
 
He did not notice the dark car following him.
 
__…-==-…__
 
Buffy had run the whole way between the Magic Box and Spike’s crypt. She was out of breath when she bursted through the door and had to stop before doing anything else.
 
She was still panting when Spike’s head peeked in from the lower level. He smiled broadly at the sight of her and finished climbing the ladder to join her.
 
“Hi, love. Couldn’t wait to see me, hey?” he said before noticing her red eyes. “Buffy, what’s wrong?”
 
Instead of answering, she ran into his arms, wrapping her own around his neck and hugging him tight. He returned her embrace, asking worriedly “Please, pet, talk to me!”
 
“I love you!”
 
“That’s what’s wrong?”
 
“No, it’s not. Nothing’s wrong and I love you.”
 
“So you often cry like that for no reason?”
 
“Yeah”, she pulled back to smile at him. “Get used to it.”
 
__…-==-…__
 
To lighten the spirits Gayle invited the whole gang to the movies. They were in the waiting line outside the theater when Dawn noticed one of the most handsome men she’s ever seen, even in her sister’s Playgirl s, looking at them from a distance. He was probably in his mid-thirties, tall, dressed in an impeccably cut grey three-piece suit, had wavy shoulder-length reddish-blond hair, extremely refined features… Wow! If only I was ten years older…
 
The stranger was looking intently at their group… no, wait… he was looking at Gayle! Alright, Mama’s got a hot ticket!   “Gayle, super-cute guy checking you out at six o’clock.”
 
Gayle adjusted her hair with false nonchalance and turned in said direction…
 
… and froze.
 
She remained glued to her spot for several seconds, until she felt a hand on her shoulder. “Gayle? Are you okay?”
 
She snapped out of her trance. “Erm… yeah, yeah… Excuse me…” she started to leave the group.
 
“You know that guy?” asked Dawn, following after.
 
 “You stay here!”   she growled at the teen. “Just stay! Leave this to me, and go back to the others!”
 
Dawn confused and a little scared, did as she was told. She rejoined the group, where Tara pulled her into her arms.
 
Gayle turned back to join the stranger, who now had a predatory smile on his face. She looked at him in silence for a while before speaking in a strangled voice: “So… I guess Abby sold me out?”
 
The man sniggered. “What, after all these years, that’s how you greet me? That’s not very nice, Gayle. That is what you call yourself now, right? Fitting. And Masterson for a family name: that’s cute!”
 
“Please, Sam, just… just don’t hurt anybody…”
 
“Who says this is a hurting visit? I just wanted to know how you were. Can’t I do that?”
 
“We both know you never do!”
 
“Oh… right, I don’t. Maybe I should start. ‘That the Slayer I saw you with earlier?”
 
 “Don’t you dare touch her!”   she barked.
 
Sam looked slightly surprised at her outburst, but then just laughed. “My, my! You’re touchy, these days! You know, a lot of my people have a bone to pick with her…”
 
“Sam, I swear, if you ever do anything to Buffy, I’ll…”
 
The playfulness disappeared from his face. “You’ll do what? Kill me? Honestly, I’d like to see you try, god knows I know what you’re capable of, but I’m rather surprised you dare to threaten me! You know what happens to people who threaten me?”
 
Gayle immediately lowered her tone. “I’m sorry, Sam, I shouldn’t have. It won’t happen again.”
 
“Good. I would hate to have to make an example out of you. Don’t you ever dare to speak to me like that again.”
 
“I promise I won’t.”
 
“Excellent. Now about that Slayer… Oh, and look: she has a gang too… That her sister?”
 
Gayle gasped. “Please, Sam, I beg you, don’t do anything to those kids! I’ll do anything you want!”
 
Sam’s lips curved into a predatory grin. “Are you trying to bargain with  me? That’s dangerous, that…”
 
Gayle’s eyes welled up with tears. “Just don’t hurt them… please… I’ll come back to work with you if you want…”
 
Sam’s grin disappeared, replaced by a look of utter surprise. “You… would do that?”
 
“Yes! Anything! Just don’t hurt them!” she said between sobs.
 
Sam stared at her. All of his cockiness had vanished. Gayle was looking at him like she was hanging on for dear life at a rope he was handing her.
 
He exhaled before speaking again in a low tone. “You don’t need to do anything. I won’t hurt them.”
 
Gayle stared in disbelief. “Really?”
 
“I lie to many people, Gayle, that’s my prerogative, but never to you. You don’t have anything to fear from me. I honestly just wanted to know how you were doing.”
 
“But then… why did you mention…”
 
“Just testing you. You really care about that one, don’t you?”
 
“You have no idea.”
 
“I think I do. A little bit, at least. I guess I better be on my way. You take care, kid. Drop me a line sometimes.”
 
He walked past her. Gayle caught his arm. “Seriously, Sam? You were just worried about me?”
 
Sam’s eyes bore into her own. “I know it’s hard to believe coming from me. But sometimes… I just miss my little sister, okay?”
 
Gayle saw that he was telling the truth. She let go of his arm. Sam gave her one last look before walking away and disappearing into the night.
 
She stood there for a second, hardly believing what had just happened. She forced the threatening tears back and slowly made her way back to the group. They had not heard a word from the conversation.
 
“Who was that?” asked Willow.
 
“Nobody.”
 
Xander huffed. “Didn’t look like nobody…”
 
 “It was!”
 
The Scoobies stared at her. It was so un-Gayle-like to lose her temper like that. She seemed to realize that herself and quickly retrieved her composure.
 
“Listen, guys, you’re gonna have to just take my word on this: if you ever see that guy again, and I’m not with you… run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. I can’t tell you more than that.”
 
“Gayle, if that guy bothers you…”
 
“Dawn, please… just… just trust me. Please?”
 
Dawn looked at her. She looked genuinely distressed… Never before had she seen that look on that face. She thought hard for a minute. Gayle had never been anything else but a pillar of strength and love. If she hid something from her… it was bad. Real bad.
 
But they shared so much. The relationship she must have had with the stranger must have been a very peculiar one for Gayle to be so protective. Abusive boyfriend? No, too out of character. Dawn convinced herself that she would get an answer one day. She nodded.
 
“Okay”, Gayle continued. “Just remember: see him, not me? Run. Like. Hell.”
 
The other Scoobies could do nothing but agree. Thirty minutes later, as they were enjoying Vin Diesel’s latest prowess, Rupert Giles’ apartment exploded.
 
 End of chapter fourteen.
 
Some lines taken from the Season Seven episode “Beneath You”, written by Doug Petrie. I just loved scary Dawn!
 
Xander and Gayle are referring to the 1982 film “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan” (property of Gene Roddenberry), where Ricardo Montalbán plays one of the best Star Trek villains E-VER!!... Yes, I’m a geek, and your problem with that is…?
 
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