~*~
Chapter 4
~*~



Buffy twirled her stake and thought about recent events. One more pass through Restfield, one more wistful look into Spike’s cozy home in hopes of seeing the pest actually there and then back to Revello and macaroni and cheese surprise for dinner.

The good news in Buffy’s life was that Warren Mears and Andrew Wells were behind bars. Jonathan hadn’t been too difficult to persuade that turning on his partners was the best option open to him. The prosecutor was making inroads cutting a deal with Andrew as well. Warren was going down for the death of Katrina at last. There would be jail time for the robberies for the other two but at least they would have a chance to reform. Warren had shown no remorse so Buffy held little hope for him at all. A much chagrined Jonathan might even escape jail altogether even though everyone could see that his conscience would never leave him totally free.

The bad news was that Xander Harris could be as big a jerk as any other guy. He’d gutted Anya by leaving her at the altar and now several of her demon friends were looking to return the favor. Buffy had been trying to defuse that situation ever since the ill-fated non-wedding. 

Anya herself had disappeared in the company of D’Hoffryn and Buffy hoped that if she ever did return it wouldn’t be in a way that might force her to kill the girl. 

The one positive side-effect of Xander’s ass-hattery was that he had finally stopped harping on Buffy’s feelings for Spike. He’d finally recognized his own inner demon and stopped throwing metaphorical rocks. Buffy hoped that part wouldn’t change as time healed wounds.

Still no sign of Spike though as Buffy sighed and closed the crypt door. Buffy had begun to think he was gone for good. Shortly after her birthday she had decided to never entertain the idea that Spike wasn’t out there driving someone crazy somewhere. No, she’d driven him off and that was a bad enough reality to have to embrace.

She was trying to move forward with life and keep hope deep in her heart that one day he would return. She’d signed up for a couple of the upcoming summer courses at the University and was enjoying the freedom from all things fast food. There was some special reward owed to Giles for making that possible and for his not plaguing her about her tendency to fall into … to be attracted to vampires.

In fact he’d made another quick trip back to London to pick up some books on Slayers origins and legends to see if Anya’s comments on that black day when everyone had found out her secret had any substance. He was due back tomorrow.

For tonight it would be dinner, bath, bed and regret filled sleep as usual. She wished Spike had stayed. She was finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel depression wise. ‘Still hate leaving heaven to come back to this but at least I can see some good here too, some hope.’

Maybe if she hadn’t jumped him in that abandoned house but had just built on what they had started it wouldn’t have ended so badly. Spike didn’t know any better. She’d offered the tiger a steak and he’d grabbed it and run.

That wasn’t fair and she knew it. Spike had tried to help her live again, he really had. She just hadn’t wanted to be alive at all then. Maybe that was another reason she’d rushed into sleeping with a vampire. Buffy snorted in amusement, “Literal girl much? Sleep with death why don’t you Buffy.”

“I can help with that,” the newly risen scuzzball offered. “Got a grave right here you can use, not exactly your name on it but, hey, who’s counting?”

One quick spin and thrust and Mr. Accommodating was blowing in the breeze.

“No thanks. Not looking at dying any more but thanks for the offer.”

Spike could have drained her at any time those months they were together. Did she know he wouldn’t or hope that he would? Maybe it was best not to examine that one too closely.

“He had to know. Maybe that’s what all the ‘join me in the dark’ stuff was about. He gave up on me reaching for the light and decided to just have me join him in the shadows as long as it kept me alive.” She bit back a sob. “Idiot vampire! Always saying whatever comes into his head without thinking that it’s guaranteed to get him a right cross to the nose.”

He was probably glad to be missing out on those. Not likely he missed her at all.

She missed him.

She’d even thought about calling Angel to see if he knew where Spike had gone but immediately rethought that one! “I can see it now. He’d ride into town to deprogram me or stake Spike, or both then give me a lecture about white picket fences and head back to L.A. and Cordy.” It hadn’t missed Buffy’s notice that Angel had talked about Cordelia a lot when they’d met again after she came back to life. It surprised her how little it had bothered her.

“Stupid vampire! Didn’t he sense that she needed him? Why didn’t he come home?

Giles was coming back but he was also talking about taking Willow and Tara to study with a coven he knew of in England during the summer. Dawn was giving serious thought to accepting their fathers surprising invitation to come over to Barcelona and meet Cody, the new Summers heir. Buffy wondered if she would ever meet her new little brother but didn’t have any desire to join Dawn for the ‘family reunion’. Sunnydale was going to be empty with just Xander and his boatload of regrets and her with a ship full of her own.

~*~ 

“We have watched you with great interest ever since you struck the bargain with Buffy to defeat Angelus” 

“Yeah well, like something you see?” His innuendo was met with a lowering gaze. 

“Not in the sense your words imply, sorry. Then again your reply was mere reflex wasn’t it? You have no interest in any female except our daughter-Slayer, not even your former love.”

“Just what are you anyway? I’d guess a Watcher from what you said but I’m getting power vibes off the scale with you and not a sniff of tweed.”

“You might say we watch the Watchers.”

“Might say a lot of things but what I want are some straight answers cause all you’ve done so far is put my driver to sleep and kept me from a pressing appointment.”

“You have no patience. That will be your downfall, vampire.”

“How’s that then?”

“Really you have to ask? You get a germ of an idea then rush off half cocked and find yourself surprised that your grand plotting blows up in your face?” She had the nerve to laugh. Spike was getting tired of being the butt of some great cosmic joke. 

“Where was I? Oh yes, introducing myself.” She gave a slight bow of the head looking amazingly regal. “I am one of many although we are fewer in number now. Our time is drawing to a close soon but that is for another story.”

“So what should I call you?”

“You won’t call me at all. I am here at the bidding of the Powers not one to be summoned.” Yep, as arrogant as a royal too Spike decided.

“You think to go to a demon to retrieve your soul do you?”

Spike’s eyes were mere slits as he glared at this being who seemed to have all the answers. “What’s it to you?”

“To me? Nothing!” She did that annoying laugh thing again. “To our daughter-Slayer quite a bit. Buffy has been through more than most and more than she ever should have had to endure. You wish to prove your worth to her by undertaking these trials, to have your soul returned but you choose to go to an evil source to do so. This will not do. You wish trials? You wish answers? Come with me William the Bloody. What you seek cannot be given by a demon.

Without a backward glance she headed for the door with a befuddled vampire in her wake. It wasn’t likely he would be making any progress towards his goal until he let this play out on her terms anyway.

~*~ 

“And so you see my dear, Anya was right. Naturally the Council isn’t forthcoming on the details nor are they interested in any of this becoming common knowledge but it isn’t unusual at all that you find attractions in .. er … less than ordinary..” He fumbled for the right words to say what he wanted to say without having to actually say the distasteful words.

“So you’re saying that me finding first Angel and then Spike attractive isn’t a sign of the end times or that I’m a vamp-loving ho and bad Slayer on top of that?”

“Not quite how I would phrase it but in essence, yes. There is a natural attraction.”

“You know Giles I hated you going back to London but now I’m glad you did.” Buffy beamed at her Watcher. ‘Unnatural attractions’ was one other item to scratch off her ‘Buffy is a bad person and a terrible Slayer’ list. “What other gems of wisdom did you find?”

“A handful of prophecies that might be of interest, they certainly bear examination at any rate.”

“Fantastic, just what I need is more prophecies about me. Last one of those ushered in death number one. Anything I need to start worrying about?”

“Nothing dire, no. A few that would possibly explain why the Powers kept your calling hidden and a couple that make the Council’s attitude towards you understandable, at least from their standpoint.”

“Not gonna spill are you?” Buffy smiled. 

“I’d rather you live your life as you choose and not influence you by any feeling that fate is taking a hand. Besides I’m not completely certain about my translations in a few passages.”

“No hints?”

Giles sighed deeply and gave in to the pout of power. “Let’s just say that if you should choose to pursue your interest in Spike it would not necessarily be a bad thing and I won’t fight you on the issue. Though why you had to pick such an annoying vampire is another matter.”

“Wish you’d found that particular prophecy back when he was here and it might have done me some good.”

“I am sorry Buffy. I regret not being here for you but am trying to make it up to you now.”

“And you’re succeeding Giles, I’m not trying to guilt you, truly I’m not.”

“Thank you for that Buffy. Your generous nature is ever appreciated.”

“So you’re headed back to London when school lets out and taking my roommates with you?”

“I think time spent with Eithne Harkness will be just what they both need to focus their powers and make certain they control it not the other way around.”

“Good witch then?”

“The best. I dare say that when we return both Tara and Willow will be forces to be reckoned with.”

“Guess you’d better go then.” The pout was back but thankfully not directed at her Watcher. “This is going to be one big empty house all summer. Xander and I are still walking around the invisible elephants in the room between his Anya issues and mine with Spike.”

“Has Anya returned?”

“She’s back. I haven’t asked her the obvious but judging by her disappearing every once in a while my guess is she’s got another necklace on her. I just hope she keeps business far away from here, Giles because I really don’t want to kill her.”

“No. She’s been a good comrade not to mention business partner,” Giles laughed. “I’ll have a word with her before I leave, warn her to temper her wish granting and to avoid anything that might force you into an action we’d all regret.”

“I can’t really blame her you know. What Xander did to her was awful and we were all more his friends than hers. She didn’t really have anyone to turn to did she?”

“No, I suppose she didn’t.” 

“The saddest part is that I think she and Xander still have feelings for each other.”

“They might at that but sometimes feelings are not enough. It comes down to choices made.”

Buffy wondered if Giles was implying something more, something about her own situation. 

~*~ 

“Are you ready vampire?”

“Bring on whatever you’ve got; let’s get this show on the road.”

“Again with the impatience! Don’t you even want to think it through before taking our tests?”

“Gonna take the bloody thing anyway so why waste time thinking any more about it?”

“As you wish,” The woman led Spike further into the labyrinth they had entered much earlier. They seemed to have come to the center of wherever it was and in the middle was an altar-like structure with three objects on it. The woman pointed to the altar and all laughter left her eyes. She was dead serious, no more playful banter.

“Upon this table are three vials. Thou must drink deeply of two and go where thou art led. Thou must survive, or not, based upon thy choices. Once begun there can be no change of thy mind or ending of thy trials. Only by successfully completing all three will thy heart’s desire be won.” As she spoke in a voice as deep as hell itself her eyes glowed amber fire. Now she turned that burning gaze fully on him and Spike felt stripped naked before the force of it. “Do thee come of thy own free-will demon?”

Spike nodded, his voice failing him.

“Do thee accept full responsibility for all that is to come and accept the bargain thou hast made?”
Again he nodded acceptance.

“Very well. Then let it begin.”

Spike took the first vial filled with a sickly sludge-like substance and tried not to gag as he swallowed it all.


He felt the power flow through him. He was invincible and knew it. Eternity was before him with none to challenge him or put an end to his existence.

She moved lithely toward him in slow even steps. Her body was swaying hypnotically. “My dark prince has been a naughty boy again. Mummy will have to discipline then.”

Dru had never looked lovelier or in better health. Not like those terrible years when he feared to touch her lest she break.

The vampires giggled, “Rather play happy games though.” Her hand caressed his engorged cock through the denim causing just the right amount of pain as it pressed against the zipper. 

“Mummy loves you best, and only, my Spike. No other but you from now on, not even daddy.” Dru began to unzip him carefully showing more genuine concern and love than she ever had in reality. “All yours,” she whispered in his ear teasing the small hairs causing him to shiver in delight. Her hand had him now and was stroking his shaft sensuously just the way he liked it.

“Such a good boy to choose wisely! No one can stand in our way or come between us either,” she cooed. “No living unnaturally, no one to tell you how wrong you are, how unworthy. Just you and me with the world at our feet.”

He could feel the orgasm building as Dru expertly led him to the brink. 

“Everything you ever wanted from me,” she promised as he spilled his hot essence over her talented hands. “Yours for the taking.”

He jerked away, deeply shamed he’d let things get this far. Yes he’d always wanted her to be wholly his … in the past. That was it, she was his past, and there was no place for Dru in his present or future. That was a place only filled by a blond goddess who shone with goodness and was far above his touch.

“Dru, luv, already made my choice. The light may burn me but ‘m not headed back into the dark with you. You need to leave and don’t come back. I don’t want to dust you, poodle, but I will if you threaten her ever again.”

Dru shook her head sadly, “Lost. My lamb’s caught in the brambles and now the wolf can eat him. We could have had everything.”

“No Dru, there’s nothing I want to have with you. Not now, not ever.”



“That could be given to you.” The woman raised an eyebrow. “You could live the normal life of a vampire in every way. Another gem could be made to make you invulnerable. Even your sire’s affections could be fixed.”

Spike laughed, “That the best you can do? Think I’d toss everything just to get a fancy bauble and go back to what I had before? No thanks. I’ve evolved beyond that. I’ve seen something better than I ever dreamed and even though I know I’ll never be fit to be at her side that’s where I’ll be if she lets me. A hundred years and only one thing I’ve ever been sure of and that’s Buffy. She’s everything good and pure and even though I’ve seen the very worst of her she is still the one, the only one.”

“So an unnatural life always wanting a woman who clearly sees you as beneath her is your choice? You won’t be happy living that way.”

“Maybe not but I’d rather be unhappy at Buffy’s side than happy anywhere else, with anyone else.”
To the next vial then, vampire.”



The girl was still in his arms, no life left in her. He could taste the thick coppery nectar that had flowed from her, filling him with its power, with life.

Ah yes! This was the life! Find the dollies, drink them down. 

He dropped the corpse that now had no meaning to him and stepped on it as he moved away. Another silly bint willing to trust a stranger! So easy to find them. Too easy in a way. Now all he wanted was to find Dru and shag her silly. Well, maybe have a go at the two sailors headed his way first. Nothing like a spot of violence to get the juices running the right direction.

Spike vaguely remembered the scene, not the people of course they were merely that night’s meal but the location. Must have been Paris round the turn of century. He remembered the swath he and Dru had cut through Europe that year! Darla had left them soon after Angelus and they were making a name for themselves apart from the older vamps for a change.

Dru had bathed in the blood at the first house he had sweet talked their way into. A large family as he remembered. Lots of little ones that captured Dru’s imagination and attention. He’d laughed as she played tea party with the youngest two before draining them like she had their older siblings earlier. Spike had taken his time with the mother already and was impatiently waiting for his black dove to finish her games so they could celebrate in real style.

That had been the opening salvo. They all fell before them, the families, convents (Dru had insisted that her daddy would demand they not forgo those!), whorehouses, workhouses, taverns. No one stayed the hand of death when Spike and Dru graced their towns and cities. 

He was reliving it all, tasting every throat as if the first time, smelling the acrid smells. It was as real as when it first happened and the demon within was reveling.

Piles of dead children littered the orphanage floor as Dru chased down the few who had escaped the onslaught. Spike had hold of one of the older girls, about ten or eleven and weeping loudly. “Shut it and I’ll make sure it’s quick,” he lied. The girl whimpered as his fangs gouged their way to her jugular vein. He took deep draughts and nearly purred in pleasure as the girl; child really, slipped the mortal coil. 

A noise distracted him and he turned his head ripping the neck of the dying child causing the blood to gush all over his hands adding to the bloody glory he already sported. 

She stood there looking at him in horror. Her face pale and eyes wide, accusing, and luminous with unshed tears. Clearly she had seen the entire massacre. Her green eyes looked at him with utter disgust and loathing before she turned and ran from the building.

“Buffy!”



“This is what she sees.” The woman’s words weren’t necessary. Spike was intelligent enough to know the message when delivered. 

“Don’t you think I know that?” He shivered and closed his eyes. “I can feel ‘em. I can feel every one of them. Never bothered me before.” He felt the sob build up nearly gagging him. “I’m a vampire damn it! What would you have me do? Not eating people now, can’t undo the past.”

“The chip has prevented you from continuing on this course then?”

“Yes. NO! I don’t know.” Spike was confused. “Not like I was then now am I? Learned to bag it. Know she won’t have me making meals of anyone, ‘sides now I see that girl and think how she’s younger than the Bit. Makes me, I don’t know, kinda sick.”

“So if you did not have this chip you would still, as you say, bag it?”

Spike thought it through before answering. Somehow he knew everything was riding on the honesty of his answer. “I think so. Can’t ever say certain with anything but I know that’s what I’d want. Never want her looking at me that way, never.” The sob escaped at last. “Still a vampire but there’s other ways to get my violence and meals too. Yeah, I’d give it up for her.”

“What about when Buffy is no longer?”

“I’d know she was watchin’ from wherever she’d be. Keep me honest.”

The woman seemed to be listening to someone Spike could neither see nor hear. Finally she nodded and returned her attention to Spike.

“You speak true. There is but one vial left.”

“Bring it,” Spike was feeling confident.

“Still you wish to heal her spirit don’t you?”

“You know I do since you seem to know everything else about me.”

“Well then all you need to do is take the last vial to her and it will do what you could not. Your Slayer will be all she was once more.”

Spike turned and tried to reach for the vial only to see it disappear from the altar. “That’s cheating! Where’d the bloody thing go?”

“You have only to follow the path and take what you have earned.” She pointed to a gap in the walls and Spike rushed forward without hesitation. “You might find the way challenging,” she called to his disappearing back. She sighed and muttered, “Impatience!”

The demon blocking the mouth at the end of the tunnel towered over Spike. Looked like he worked out too, all the time! “So it’s a fight then.” Spike grinned. “That I can do. So wanker, let’s see what you’ve got shall we?”

It was like ramming his fists into concrete backed by iron and no matter how or where Spike hit him it didn’t seem to be making any impression on the giant. The behemoth’s blows, however were taking their toll. Spike felt each one do its damage as they landed. By the time Spike had enough he managed to get behind the birk and soundly twist his head with a resounding crack of finality. He felt like he’d gone ten rounds with a tag team consisting of Glory, Angelus and twenty Slayers. Still the lummox was down and Spike finally could drag his sorry arse closer to the vial that promised to heal Buffy.

Flames from nowhere! Of course, what did he expect after all, a walk in the park? Spike found himself facing a wall of fire with no way round it. “Suppose I’ve no choice but walk through then.” He took a deep breath and prepared for the searing.

The woman offered a suggestion, “You could head back this way if you chose.”

“Don’t suppose I’d get that vial if I did though?” At her look he stood straighter and faced the fire, “Thought not.”

It was more than a wall. A wall wouldn’t have been as thick. He felt the skin burn and melt but rushed through blindly anyway.

Just as he cleared the flames he saw the welcome sight of water. Just what he needed to help put out the still smoldering places on his battered, burned body.

“Aghhhhhhhhhhhhh,” the smoke choked him as it wafted from his ruined skin. “Bitch would put holy water in the mix,” he hugged himself in pain and roared out agonized cries and curses.

He sat there wheezing in pain for a while trying to decide how best to get his prize since there was a whole moat of the clear liquid torment surrounding the taunting vial. He thought about Buffy’s sad face and defeated attitude. He remembered how she seemed just a whisker away from returning to that heaven she longed for. He thought of how she had bared her neck to him in clear hopes that he’d have his one good day and end her existence. What were more burns if he could cure all that? To see her smile again would be worth all the pain.

The moat was wide even though it was only knee deep. Spike strode through as quickly as possible when walking in liquid and the smoke rose from him. He managed to bite back the screams for the most part not wanting to give the bitch of a woman and her superiors the satisfaction.

Reaching the other side he collapsed, passing into unconsciousness for a time beyond his reckoning. It must have been fairly long because many of the burns were already in the process of healing when he woke.

“Drink,” the woman encouraged as she handed him a glass with warm sweet blood. He did.

The vial was in his grasp though he had no memory of having actually taken hold of it before oblivion hit.

“I’m done, I succeeded,” he panted feeling every burn, gash and broken bone. “Still want what I wanted when you dragged me here.” He clutched the hard won vial to himself and glared at the woman. “I believe you owe me one soul rusty as it may be from long time lack of use. You promised that remember? Said I had to get it from the Powers not some demon in a cave. Well give over.”