Part Three  
Dawn fidgeted in the doorway while Randy soothed Joan with murmured reassurances and gentle caresses.  When they were finally able to look at her, though obviously still shaken by the information, she said, “I haven’t told anybody else.  I just found the books this morning and I thought I’d wait and see how you wanted to handle it.”
 
“Bloody hell…” Randy shook his head.  “Who’d believe us?”
 
“Giles,” Buffy said softly.  “He has to be told.  And Willow….” Without her memories of the past several years of friendship, Joan wasn’t inclined to be gentle with her housemate.  “I don’t think I can look at her.  If she did that to me….”
 
“What she did was mess with some very powerful and dark forces,” Randy said.  “Don’t have my memories of magic to go by, but it had to take some major mojo to pull off something like that.”  He looked at Joan with sudden fear. “I don’t want you living here. Don’t want you that close to someone that powerful and reckless.”
 
“But it’s okay if I live here?” Dawn sounded more bitter than they might have expected and they both stared at her in confusion.
 
“Something else you’d like to share, little sis?”
 
Her shoulders slumped. “Nothing you care about now, I guess.” She turned away and went back to her room, leaving them to frown at each other.
 
“What do you think she—”
 
Randy shook his head. “No idea. Unless….” He grabbed the diary in her hand, flipping to the last page and growling. “Doesn’t say what happened after you…. died. Doesn’t say what I did or who took care of Dawn.  Maybe I…” He kissed her forehead. “Be right back, love.”
 
He crossed the hall to Dawn’s room and entered without knocking to find her holding some crumpled papers and poring over them with tears streaming down her face.  He knelt in front of her and gently took the papers from her hands.  “I’m guessin’ if I looked through here, I’d find out that we spent some time together while your sis was … gone. Did some shared grieving, maybe?”
 
Dawn nodded without speaking, sniffling until she had her voice under control. “You were my protector. My babysitter when nobody else wanted to stay with me. You helped me with my homework, and….” She raised teary eyes to his. “And now you don’t even remember or care about me.”
 
“Ah, Dawn. None of us remember anybody, do we? Witches don’t remember that they’re a couple, even though it’s obvious.  The watcher doesn’t remember that was his job—”
 
“You’re still in love with Joan—Buffy,” she said, her sniffles turning into more of a pout.
 
“I expect that’s probably hard-wired into my soul, pet,” he said. “Or it would be if I actually had one.”  He stood up. “I’m sorry. Dawn. Now that I know how important I was—am—to you, I’ll make sure to spend more time with you.  Maybe we’ll even get a bigger apartment and you can move in—”
 
“You do remember this is our house, don’t you?” She gave him the patented “adults are so stupid” look that all teenagers seemed to have. “They can move out. Or Willow can, anyway.  I’m not sure how much I like her, now that I know what she did.”
 
“What she did, as bad as I’m sure it made Joan—Buffy—feel, was bring her back to us.  Don’t forget that, Dawn.  We have her now because of what Willow did; and as sorry as I am that Joan had Heaven wrenched away from her, I can’t be sorry that she’s here.”
 
“No, me neither.” Dawn sighed.  “But how could Willow think it was okay to do something like that without telling me? Or you? Or Giles?”
 
“Three very good questions, luv. And we’ll ask ‘em as soon as we know that she’s able to answer.  Trust me. But for now, we’re all in the same leaky boat, yeah? Just bailing for all we’re worth and hoping to drift in to shore before we sink ourselves.”
 
Dawn just stared at him.  “That was so lame.”  She tossed her head and took her diary pages back from him, shoving them under her mattress.  “Don’t think you’re going to get to look at that. I’m moving everything as soon as you aren’t watching.”
 
“Wouldn’t dream of violating your privacy like that, pet,” he said, grinning as he went out the door. “I’ll just steal it outright if I decide there’s anything I need to see.”
 
“Randy?” Something in her tone of voice made him turn around.  “Don’t… I mean, Buffy didn’t… I wouldn’t….” She blew out her breath.  “Enjoy her while you’ve got her, ‘k?”
 
He nodded his understanding and went back to the room where Joan was going through her clothes and picking out the ones she wanted to take with her. He sat on the bed and watched as she held things up, then either threw them on the bed or put them back in the boxes.  When she had a fairly high stack, she stopped and came to stand in front of him. 
 
“I wish we had a car,” she said with a sigh. “I don’t know how we’re going to get all this stuff home.”
 
“You’re not stayin’ here?” Randy tried to keep the joy out of his voice, but the way his eyes lit up gave it away.
 
“No, dummy. I’m not staying here. I live with you, remember?  It’s nice to know I have a house if I want one, but right now it has too many people in it to suit me. For some reason, I really prefer our quiet apartment. Even your crypt has a certain shabby appeal….”
 
“Probably cause you were dead, love. The world’s just a bit too loud and bright for somebody who spent a peaceful four or five months in Heaven.”  He didn’t mention that Dawn’s diary had an entry about Buffy’s dislike of bright lights and loud noises.
 
“Well, anyway, we’re just going to have to carry all this stuff I guess.  Maybe we can get Alex to drive us, now that he’s found his car.”
 
 
~~~~~~~~~~
 
The clothes were piled on the arm of the couch when Willow and Tara came home and stared at them curiously.  “Why are there clothes all over the couch?” Willow asked, her brow wrinkling as she looked at the three sets of shifty eyes.  “What’s going on?”
 
“Nothing,” Joan said.  “I’m just picking out some stuff to take to the apartment, that’s all.”
 
“You aren’t going to live here? This is where you live!” 
 
“Well, it doesn’t look like I’ve been living here very long… and Randy wouldn’t be very comfortable here… unless we fixed him a place in the basement….” Buffy and Dawn exchanged speculative looks as Randy shook his head.
 
“Let’s worry about that later, yeah?  We’ve got the apartment through the end of the month, so we may as well use it.”  He began to rummage around in the drawer of the small phone table, giving an “ah!” of satisfaction when he found what he was searching for.  He held up a set of car keys and smiled. “I’m bettin’ these go to that gas guzzler in the driveway.  Looks like you got your wish, pet. We can drive your stuff home.”
 
“You can drive?” Dawn stared at him dubiously.
 
Randy frowned and tossed the keys up and down. “Yeah, I think so.  Feels like something I should be able to do. Guess we’ll find out.”  He scooped up the big pile of clothes and started out the door.  “You bring the shoes, love. You’re stronger than I am.” 
 
“Very funny,” Joan snorted, hefting the box full of shoes and boots she’d determined she couldn’t be without.  She paused to exchange looks with Dawn. “I think we’ll drop this stuff off and then go find Giles,” she said.  “Might give you a call later, or in the morning,” she added as she realized how late it was getting to be.
 
Without saying anything to Willow or Tara, Dawn went back upstairs to collect the old diary from the floor of Joan’s room and hide it under the mattress again.
 
~~~~~~~~
 
“What do you think that was all about?” Tara stared from the still-open front door to the stairway.  She frowned as the big SUV pulled out and moved down the street.  “I guess Randycan drive,” she said as she watched the vehicle disappear into traffic.
 
“I don’t understand why Buffy doesn’t want to stay here with us,” Willow said, trying to keep the whine from her voice but not succeeding.  “Why does she want to go back to that cramped apartment?”
 
“Because Randy is there,” Tara said softly. “And he obviously doesn’t live here.”
 
“He doesn’t live there either. You heard what Mr. Giles said – he’s an old vampire named Spike and he lives in a crypt. For all we know, this is all his doing. Some kind of magic spell to make Buffy fall in love with him.”
 
“I don’t think it’s Spike doing all the bad magic,” Dawn said as she came back downstairs. “I think it’s somebody who has messed with some really heavy stuff and maybe can’t control it.”  There was nothing subtle about the look she gave Willow, who frowned and looked hurt.
 
“Dawnie, you can’t possibly think it was me?  I would never do that – take everyone’s memories away.  Why would I want to?”
 
“I don’t know,” Dawn said with a shrug. “Maybe because you’d done something really awful and didn’t want anybody to remember it? I’m just offering suggestions,” she added when Willow and Tara looked at her with equal parts shock and suspicion.  She went into the kitchen and began rummaging around for something to snack on, leaving the two witches to share worried looks. 
 
When Willow went upstairs, Tara took a deep breath and followed Dawn into the kitchen.
 
“Is there something we should know?”
 
“Probably. But I’m not going to tell you. Maybe Joan—Buffy will after she talks to Mr. Giles.”  Dawn stood up and took the bag of chips with her.  “I’ll be in my room. I’ve got more reading to catch up on.” 
 
Tara watched her walk away, frowning slightly. With a sigh, she turned out the lights, checked the back door, and went upstairs.
 
~~~~~~~~~~
 
Randy sprawled on the bed, watching Joan’s graceful movements as she arranged her shoes and put away her clothes.  She finally noticed his gaze and stopped, holding a pile of T-shirts and underwear.
 
“What?”
 
“Nothin’, love. Just enjoy watching you move around. Poetry in motion you are. Not quite as exciting as watching you fighting, but still…” He was wearing the same sadly wistful expression he’d had since coming out of Dawn’s room.  Joan put the clothing into the first drawer she opened, then joined him on the bed, settling between his spread legs and resting her chin on his chest while she looked up at his face.
 
“What’s wrong?”
 
He reached out and stroked her cheek, pushing a stray lock of hair away from her eyes.  “Nothing’s wrong. I love you, you love me, and we live happily in our own little love nest.  What could be wrong about that?”
 
“Nothing that I can think of, but you’ve been acting weird since we found out… all that stuff we found out.  Are you wigged about living with a formerly dead girl?”
 
He snorted. “Don’t have much room to be fussy about that, now, do I?” he said, dropping his hand and going immobile. He waited just long enough to make his point, then took her hand and kissed it.  “’S got nothing to do with you, love. I’m just borrowin’ trouble, worrying about what might happen when we find out more about what things were like before.”
 
She cocked her head at him. “Do you think I’m going to forget everything we’ve done and been, just because I know it didn’t used to be like that?  I know you better now than I probably ever did before and—”
 
“You know Randy, love. Joan knows Randy. Buffy knows Spike. She’s got a history with him… a not very pretty history from what we saw in Dawn’s earlier writings.”
 
“We also know that he suffered torture from a Hellgod to protect her – for me. And that he tried to save her, and he helped me fight for her… And, I think Dawn got so upset with you because she…. you and her… I think you maybe… have a relationship that doesn’t include me.  I don’t know what went on while I was… gone… but you stayed here and—”
 
“Not as dumb as you look, are you, sweetheart?” He smiled and tugged her up to lie beside him.  “Yeah, seems like your sis and I did some bonding over that summer you weren’t around. May have started out jus’ keeping a promise to you, but she seems to think it was more. Shared grief and all that.”  He pulled her a little tighter as he contemplated a world in which she was dead and gone. “Point is, she’s reading in between all the stuff about which boys are hot and which ones are ‘undateable’ and she sort of indicated…” He held her even more tightly as he swallowed hard and tried to continue. “She as much as said that I should enjoy what I’ve got while I’ve got it. Doesn’t seem to think you’ll be as happy about having me in your life… in your bed…. when you remember who we are.”
 
“Randy…” Joan sighed and sat up, shaking off his protest.  “I promise you, no matter what happens when we know who we were, I will never forget what we are now.”
 
“All I can ask for, I guess,” he said, sitting up and kissing the top of her head. “Are ready to head back to the watcher’s yet?”
 
She shook her head.  “It’s almost morning.  Let’s get some sleep, and I’ll go over to the Magic Box later on and tell him what we know.  Maybe we’ll call a meeting for tonight and bring everybody up to speed.” She got up and moved to the bathroom.  By the time she came out, wearing the long T-shirt that they both knew wasn’t going to stay on very long, but that she always insisted on wearing to bed, Randy was already naked and under the covers.
 
“I wonder if Spike slept naked, or if that’s just something you do,” she murmured as she snuggled into his side and threw one bare leg over his thigh.
 
“Don’t know. Could be he didn’t have as good a reason as I do to be naked,” he said, pulling her over on top of him. He slid his hands down to cup her butt cheeks and pull her more tightly against his cock.  When she gave an appreciative moan and rubbed against him, he grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled up until it was covering her face.  “Arms up, love,” he instructed. They both gasped when she sat up, straddling him and forcing their pelvic areas even closer together.  The shirt disappeared and his hands came back down to hold her hips.  His biceps bulged as he lifted her up and brought her to his face, where he smiled at her little sigh of anticipation.
 
“Know what you like, don’t I?” he growled, lowering her to his eager mouth. “Know what my girl likes….” 
 
Buffy’s nonverbal response consisted of small whimpers and yelps as he teased her until she was almost crying, then brought her to orgasm with a few seconds of well-placed nips to her clit.  Before she had even recovered her breath, he had lowered to lie upon him again and rolled them over so that she was beneath him, opening her legs and wrapping them around his hips as she pulled him into her body.
 
“Not giving you up, Joan. Not ever going to give you up.  You hear me, Slayer? Never.”
 
“That would be mildly scary if I wasn’t already right here with you…” she gasped as he began to move.  “Giving this up is so not on my radar right now.” 
 
“Never,” he repeated.
 
“Never,” she agreed as she met him thrust for thrust.