Betaed by Maria and Flight Of Fancy.


After a very satisfying stop at a local Chinese eatery, Buffy and Merrick were once again on the move. They picked up Buffy’s belongings, and then headed towards Giles’ home, stopping a few times along the way to stake a couple of fledglings.

“It’s been years since I’ve had to stake a fledgling,” Buffy laughed. “I’d forgotten how very stupid they are. Humans quickly learned to watch out for demons at night, and they stayed indoors when they could. Later, when the sky changed, they learned to always travel in large groups so they could help each other out if they were attacked. Some people would watch out for demons, and others would do whatever task was needed.”

“What about you? Did you have someone to watch your back?” Merrick was curious to hear Buffy’s answer.

Buffy smiled sadly. “At first I helped out all the time. Then a rumour started that the groups were only attacked because the demons wanted me, and so, suddenly I wasn’t welcome anymore. It was too late, when they finally figured out that they would be attacked anyway.”

“It must have been difficult to be ostracized like that.”

“It wasn’t so bad. After...” She briefly closed her eyes. “After I lost Spike, and learned about the betrayal, I wasn’t really a people person. I did look forward to the odd visit from Clem, an old friend of Spike’s, but even that relationship was pretty limited. Clem would stop by when he could, but I wasn’t welcome in his home. His family knew I was the Slayer, and they were uncomfortable having me around.”

Merrick was silent after hearing Buffy’s story. Really, there wasn’t anything he could say to make her feel better about the years she had spent alone, so the rest of the walk to Giles’ flat was made in silence. The Watcher made a vow though, that he would do whatever he could to make sure his charge didn’t have to live through loneliness like that again.

Once they reached their destination and had a look at the accommodations, it was decided that Buffy would occupy the bed in Giles’ guest room. Merrick didn’t need much sleep, so he would get what he could on the couch, or on the bedroom floor, if he had to.

It had been an emotionally exhausting day, and Buffy felt overwhelmed by the memories that had been assaulting her since she returned to Sunnydale. Most of them were connected to her visit to the house on Revello Drive and seeing the Scoobies again. She knew there were good memories, but they were overshadowed by memories of the gang’s disapproval of her life and relationship choices. Even more devastating were the memories of her mother’s death. Her last thought before slipping off in to the arms of Morpheus, was the night when she was kicked out of her own home by her family and friends. She smiled when she thought of Spike searching her out and comforting her, despite her treatment of him. She couldn’t believe how stupid she had been back then. If she had been honest, she would have told him how much she loved him, even before he got his soul back.

Not knowing if Merrick would need to sleep on the floor or not, Buffy didn’t lock the bedroom door when she went to bed that night. For that reason, when a knock on the door woke her just before noon the next day, her first response was to pull the blankets up over her head and hide.

“Are you awake?” It was Merrick.

Recognizing Merrick’s voice, Buffy relaxed and poked her head out from under the covers. Walking to the door, she opened it just enough to let him into the room.

“What’s on the schedule for today?” Buffy asked, as she looked for clean clothes to put on after the shower she planned to take.

“I had hoped we could talk with Giles today, before the gang comes along.”

“Makes sense. We can actually have a discussion without questions from Willow, brooding from Angel, or Xander’s hysterical bias against demons causing trouble. It just makes me so angry.” Buffy finally found the shirt she had been looking for, and gathered everything she needed in her arms, ready to head off for her shower.

“Angry? What exactly is it that’s bothering you?” Merrick thought a little venting would be good for the Slayer, and stood patiently, waiting for her response.

Pausing at the door, clean clothing in hand, Buffy turned back to her Watcher. “It’s everything. They have no respect for me and my feelings. Everything is about them and what they want and what they think.” Buffy had the door open, ready to leave, when she added, “Just let me shower, and then we’ll go talk with Giles.”

“Haven’t you forgotten something?” Merrick held up Buffy’s big black hoodie.

“I wish it wasn’t necessary,” Buffy sighed, as she pulled the bulky garment over her head. “I’ll see you downstairs in fifteen minutes.”

------------------------------------

It was almost twenty minutes later when Buffy, hidden in her hooded sweater once more, sat down at the kitchen table with the Watchers. Merrick immediately placed a huge plate of food in front of her, clearly expecting that she would eat it for breakfast. If she hadn’t been wearing the hood, she would have looked at him and pouted, and then asked if he thought she was a pig. When a tall glass of milk was added to the table, she decided to just eat what she wanted and leave the rest for Merrick to deal with. Surprisingly, once she started eating, it wasn’t long until her plate was empty and the milk was gone. As Buffy leaned back in her chair, Merrick cleared her place and then passed her a cup of hot tea.

From the time that Buffy joined the men at the table, Giles found himself carefully observing his guests. They acted like a family; a father taking care of his child, possibly. Giles knew Merrick had been a bachelor when he died, and couldn’t help but wonder what was going on.

When Merrick sat down with his own cup of tea, Giles cleared his throat and directed his attention to Buffy. “Merrick didn’t want to answer any of my questions before you were present. Yesterday he told us that he was working for you. Is that correct?”

Buffy shrugged her shoulders.

“I see. You plan to remain silent?” Feeling frustrated, Giles turned to Merrick instead. “Well, now that your boss is here, will you finally answer some of my questions?” he asked sarcastically.

Not appreciating Giles’ attitude, Merrick chose to simply smile and say, “Go ahead, Giles.”

“Do you know how it is that we are to get the Light to this time? How we are to retrieve it from wherever it is now?”

“Yes, I do,” Merrick answered, but didn’t elaborate.

“How?” Giles put his pen to paper, ready to write down whatever information Merrick could provide.

“How the Light is retrieved doesn’t matter,” Merrick began, but stopped talking and raised a hand in protest when it appeared that Giles was about to interrupt him. “Let me finish. The ‘how’ of the retrieval doesn’t matter, because I’ve already picked the Light up and brought it here.”

Giles’ glasses immediately came off, as he tried to polish them while still holding on to his pad of paper and pen. After a moment, he gave up on the glasses and placed them back on his nose where they belonged. “The Light is here? In this time? Already?”

“That it is.” Merrick smiled at Giles’ flabbergasted look.

“You’ve spoken with the Light? Is that why you said that the Light might choose not to stay in this time?” Giles thought hard for a moment. “The Light works for the Powers, correct? They should be able to just tell the Light to stay in this time, right?”

“Wrong.”

“But...how?”

“A reward from the Powers, for services rendered. The Light will choose its own path.” Merrick responded, shrugging his shoulders. His message was clear: Nothing I can do about it.

“Do you know what the Light did to receive such a gift from the Powers?” Giles was scribbling away at his notepad. He didn’t see Merrick look questioningly at Buffy, or the short nod of permission she sent back to him.

“The Light agreed to come to this time, in an effort to prevent the future you were shown in LA. The Powers know the Light has lived through this time before, and that it was a time filled with fear, sadness, and regret. In this time, the Light was meant to become complete, but because of interference, that never happened. By agreeing to return, the Light has been granted another opportunity. There is no guarantee, but the chance to become complete is there.” Merrick noticed that Giles was writing like a madman, and he paused to give him a chance to catch up.

After a few minutes, Giles finally looked up. “You said the Light was to become complete. What prevented that from happening?”

“The Scooby Gang, Angel, and the Watcher’s Council all chose to interfere with the path the Light was to follow.”

The glasses flew from Giles’ face so quickly that his hand seemed invisible. “Do you mean to say that the Light failed to become complete because of something we did?”

Merrick nodded seriously.

“If that’s the case, I can certainly understand why the Light might be reluctant to stay in this time.” Giles seemed shaken, and rose from his chair, heading for the living room. “I believe I need a drink. Would you like one?” Giles was so caught up that he seemed to forget that Buffy was even in the room.

Merrick refused the offer of a drink so early in the day, but used the time that Giles was busy to briefly communicate with Buffy. He wanted to know how much of her history she would let him reveal to the other Watcher. Her answer was simple: Merrick could reveal everything, except the identity of the Light.

Giles returned to his chair, placing his glass on the table and once again picking up his pad and pen. “I can’t understand how it could be our fault that the Light failed to become complete. If it was destined by the Powers...?”

“Time to put your pad and paper to good use, Giles. Write this down. It’s important that you remember it,” Merrick said, harshly. Before Giles could say anything, Merrick continued. “The Watcher’s Council had the book you found for years, and even had time to translate it. Instead, they chose to hide the book.” Giles looked surprised, and paused in his writing for a moment. Before he could say anything, Merrick continued. “Also, Angel should never have been able to touch your Slayer.”

“Excuse me? Angel has never touched Buffy, as far as I know,” Giles interrupted.

“If your Slayer hadn’t been attacked, it would have happened,” Merrick said, with certainty in his voice.

“I see, or rather, I hadn’t seen that their relationship was heading that way.” Giles was chewing on the ear piece of his glasses as he spoke. “I suppose the danger is now out of the way, given that Buffy is currently in the hospital.” Suddenly he threw a sharp look toward Merrick and then his companion, almost as if asking if that assumption was an accurate one.

Giles was in a quandary. He still hoped that Buffy would recover and leave the hospital, but that might mean she was in some sort of danger because of her relationship with Angel. If, instead, Buffy was actually the Light, it would mean that he and the Scoobies had done so much wrong that he couldn’t even think of being forgiven. He was afraid to hope for either result, and could only think of doing what he could to minimize the potential damage. “So, what can we do to stop everyone from interfering with the Light this time?”

“By now you must have realized that the Light was in your close circle of friends?”

Giles nodded. “I suspected as much. Does that have something to do with what happened to the Light?”

“The teachings from the Council had a great deal to do with what happened.”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand.” Giles looked confused.

“What have you always taught those around you? It was always the same. Demons are evil and should be put down. Demons without a soul can’t love. Over and over again.”

“The Council has proven that information correct, and it was my responsibility...”

Buffy’s head bowed further, and her hands were knotted in her lap.

Merrick couldn’t listen to any more. “Wrong!” he loudly exclaimed, as he leapt from his chair and started pacing.

Buffy couldn’t take it anymore. Both men noticed that there were tears leaking out from under her hood. Merrick was at her side immediately, offering support when she got up from her chair. “I’ll be right back,” he told Giles. Merrick escorted Buffy to her room, and then stayed with her until she stopped crying. They talked a bit about what happened downstairs, and made a few more decisions about what they wanted for the future. Merrick promised to come and get her if he had any doubts about what she would want, and then went back downstairs to continue his conversation with Giles.

“Why was your companion so upset?” Giles asked, when Merrick sat down in front of him.

Merrick sighed heavily. “The Light could have been complete, if not for that attitude.”

“I’m afraid I simply don’t understand what that has to do with the Light becoming complete?” Giles just couldn’t seem to make the connection.

“It is the Council’s faulty teaching that has informed the Scoobies,” Merrick pointed out.

Giles couldn’t remain at the table any longer, finding himself back in the living room and reaching for the Scotch once again, while he tried to figure how Merrick could possibly believe what he was saying. He could tell both Merrick and his companion were genuinely upset but, even after sitting by himself in the living room and trying to process what he had heard, Giles still couldn’t suspend his belief in what he had been taught. “Please, explain it to me. I just can’t seem to understand what it is you’re trying to say.”

“Come on, Giles. It’s a simple enough idea. You were indoctrinated in the Council’s teachings, and it is that knowledge and belief system that you pass on to those you meet now. The problem is, the Council really didn’t know a lot about vampires and other demons, so it made up information as it went along. The information you have been taught is wrong. For example, you have been taught to believe that demons cannot love. While it is true that some very few breeds of demon are completely without the capacity to feel affection and love, most demons, especially vampires, can love. Not all demons are inherently evil.”

“But, Angel...”

Merrick shook his head sadly. “Angel, or Angelus, can’t love, and is as evil as they come. He believes that all demons are like him, but he’s wrong. Demons are like humans...some good, some evil, all different. Of course, the majority of demons follow a different moral and ethical code than humans, and we would likely consider them to be evil, and the majority of humans to be good.”

Giles had brought his hankie out, and was trying to polish his glasses again, but his hands were shaking too hard and he was forced to give up his efforts. “You mean to say that everything I have learned as a Watcher has been false?”

“Perhaps not everything, but certainly a significant amount of your knowledge is fiction. So now, the question becomes, can you change?”

Giles had picked up another pen and pad of paper, hoping to take notes for reference later, but now he lay them down again, and leaned back in his chair to dangle his glasses between two fingers once more. “Since you work for the Powers, I believe what you are telling me is the truth. I have no choice but to change. I’ve already see what will become of the world if the Light does not remain, and that’s not something I want to experience first-hand.”

Merrick smiled sadly. “The fate of the world doesn’t rest on whether the Light will stay in this time. What is important is that the Light becomes complete.”

Seeking knowledge again, Giles had to ask, “What will it take for the Light to become complete?”

“The Light was meant to join with a special companion, the Light’s missing half. Only then will it be complete.”

Suddenly Giles leaned forward, looking curiously at Merrick. “Will you tell me who the Light is? Or, if you cannot do that, tell me who the Light’s companion is?”

“I can’t. I am not willing to risk the Light’s happiness, should you or the Scoobie Gang decide you don’t approve and want to change the Light’s fate.”

Moments before, Giles had been trying to think of anyone of his acquaintance who might possibly be the Light, or the Light’s companion, but now, he couldn’t help but sit back in his chair and feel somewhat offended, and his attitude showed.

“I’m sorry, Giles, but we’re not prepared to trust you just yet. I know that you genuinely believe in your role as a Watcher, but the Council has already ruined this lifetime for the Light once before.”

Giles looked thoughtfully at Merrick. “When I first heard of the Light, I had my own idea about who we were waiting for. Since that time, I have not learned anything that would make me believe my theory is incorrect.”

“You’ve developed your own theory, have you?” Merrick couldn’t help but smile.

Giles smirked. “Maybe you can tell me how it is that I have the book, instead of the Council?”

“The Powers That Be took a chance on you, hoping that you would be so interested in the book that you would want to translate it yourself. It would seem they know you well, my friend.” Merrick’s face split into a big grin.