Betaed by Maria and Flight Of Fancy.


The next morning, it was a sour faced Watcher that greeted his guest.

“Good morning, Giles. Is there something wrong?” Merrick asked.

“What’s wrong is that I had to bear the brunt of everyone else’s outrage, when they heard that you lacked the common courtesy required to attend last night’s meeting. I can see why you wanted to deal with me directly, after listening to them for an hour. They can be incredibly tiring.”

As she had the day before, Buffy claimed the shower as soon as she woke. Merrick started on breakfast while she completed her morning ritual upstairs, and Giles made a fresh pot of tea.

“Since I had nothing better to do this morning while I waited for you, I have continued to work on translating the book.” Giles was feeling rather resentful, and wasn’t doing a very good job of hiding it.

Merrick sighed. It would seem that subtle just wasn’t going to get the job done. “When I spoke of how the Scoobies would need to change their attitudes, I was not only speaking of the children and Angel.”

Giles looked at the other Watcher, clearly not picking up on his not-so-subtle hint. “Who else? I don’t understand...?”

Merrick refused to pull his punches at this late date. He turned to look directly at his long-time friend, and said, “You, Giles. You are a member of the Scoobies as well.”

“And just what is your point, Merrick?”

“Every one of them, not just the children, but even Angel and Joyce...they all look to you to lead them, to teach them, and to guide them through all the crazy and scary things that affect their lives, now that they understand that they live in a town full of demons. You’re comfortable in the role, and you think of yourself as the one in charge.”

Giles tore off his glasses. Merrick could see that he was offended.

“You...Why...I don’t...,” Giles spluttered. “I believe I am the one in charge, because I am the Watcher. It’s my job to supervise and direct the Slayer. I’ll admit, the Scoobies are technically civilians, but they have joined in the Slayer’s cause, and therefore are also my responsibility.”

“While that might be appropriate were all your charges are as young and innocent as the Scoobies, you need to recognize that some people have old souls and are mature beyond their years.” Merrick was trying hard to think of a way to get his message across to Giles without offending the other Watcher even more. “Your experience with the Council has taught you to believe that you know what is best for everyone. You collect what information you can, and then manipulate those around you for the best forecasted result. You deploy the Slayer, like a finely honed weapon, believing that you have the right to direct her fate. Even now, though you have no authority over my companion and me, you lash out at us, because we aren’t at your beck and call. You need to remember, the Council is not infallible. The last time they were given an opportunity to help the Slayer, they chose to hide the book, thus condemning her to a life of misery, and the world to a living Hell.”

Giles was just standing there, glasses forgotten in hand, and mouth hanging open. He felt as if he had just been scolded by his father. “I...I’m sorry.” He swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I didn’t realize...” Giles turned around, rubbing his brow, but then turned back almost immediately. “Thank you, Merrick...for telling me, and helping me understand where I’ve been going wrong.” He smiled thankfully at Merrick. The table was set in silence, each man quietly thinking about their recent conversation until Buffy joined them for breakfast.

Giles peered at his new breakfast companion, frustrated that the shrouding black hoodie was still firmly in place. “Did you sleep well? I hope I didn’t wake you.” He placed the sugar pot in front of Buffy. She just shook her head.

“I slept okay,” Merrick spoke up. “Thank you, Giles. How about you?”

Responding to Merrick, Giles replied simply, “Fine. Thank you. Our conversation isn’t finished though, Merrick. When breakfast is done, we need to settle some things. One of which,” he looked pointedly at Buffy, “is the identity of my second house guest. I’d also like to discuss what it will take to get the Light to stay here.” Merrick looked at Buffy, who looked down into her cup.

“Maybe it’s time?” Merrick kept looking at Buffy’s bowed head.

She sighed.

“I know you’re not ready, but will you ever be? Think about it.”

Just when Giles was certain he couldn’t wait any longer for a response, Merrick quietly encouraged, “Maybe just Giles?”

Buffy wasn’t ready to give up her cover, her shield from those who would use her. It was what kept her from being hurt. Wrong, she told herself. Her life was in her own hands and, as long as she didn’t abdicate her power, she would make her own decisions. It was her responsibility to protect herself, instead of depending on others and then complaining when things didn’t work out the way she wanted them to. In a voice hoarse with reservation, Buffy finally responded, “Okay, but later. First we eat.”

Giles stared at the unknown entity in his kitchen. I was wrong. I was so sure...I thought I knew...but it’s not. It can’t be, not with that voice. I’m glad I didn’t share my suspicions with Joyce. She would be devastated. He looked down at his breakfast but, for many reasons, his appetite was gone.

The plan was to finish breakfast before the big reveal, but Buffy had lost her appetite, Giles was too curious to eat, and Merrick didn’t really need food to survive. After another ten minutes of playing with their toast crusts, by mutual agreement, the group picked up their tea cups and moved into the living room.

Giles waited patiently. He could see that she was nervous. His mystery guest was definitely a girl, or possibly a woman. After hearing her voice, he was certain of that fact. It was rough, but definitely female. Now that he knew what to look for, he noticed her small hands, the delicacy and grace of movement not in any way affected by the painful looking scar across one of her palms.

“I don’t want anyone else to know,” came her voice, muffled by the thick hood on her head.

“I give you my word; I won’t breathe a hint of your identity to anybody. I’m certain Merrick won’t tell either,” Giles assured her.

“You don’t need to speak for Merrick. I trust him. He’s never betrayed me.” Giles took off his glasses, and began to polish the lenses with his handkerchief. He got the message, loud and clear: he wasn’t trusted and he had betrayed this woman.

“I won’t betray your trust.” Giles didn’t know what else he could say. “I promise.”

Again, the scratchy, but somehow familiar voice, directed, “Lock the door, and pull the curtains closed. I’m not ready for anyone else to know this.”

Giles obeyed without question. He locked the front door, and pulled one curtain that Merrick had missed. Then, he and Merrick returned to sit on the couch.

“Remember now, Giles. No telling.”

He nodded.

“Not even the Council,” Buffy confirmed again.

“I swear.”

There was no more reason to delay. Crossing her arms, Buffy pulled at the bottom of her sweater.

Giles was in shock. It was Buffy; an older Buffy, no doubt, but still Buffy. He just couldn’t believe his eyes. Overcome, Giles stepped forward and hugged her, having trouble believing she was real. Though Buffy flinched and didn’t return his hug, she didn’t pull away from him either. It wasn’t until Giles finally collected himself and moved off to sit in a chair, that he was able to get a closer look at her eyes. They were so sad...almost haunted. Dear God, what did we do to her?

Giles sat there, gazing at his Slayer, his eyes filling with tears. He found himself wanting to reach out and touch her, but her body language clearly said she wouldn’t be happy if he tried. “I thought...I mean...I was hoping, and not hoping, that it was you.” He found his handkerchief and used it to dry his eyes.

“What do you mean, hoping and not hoping? You can’t have it both ways,” Buffy said.

“Well, the hoping, that’s easy. We all miss you so very much.”

Buffy was fuming. Miss me, my ass. You never visit me in the hospital. Mom’s the only one that still goes. She squeezed her hands tightly together in her lap, and didn’t dare look at her former Watcher. She knew that if she did her anger would boil over, and it wasn’t time for that. Right now there were too many other important things to do.

Giles didn’t notice Buffy’s distress, and Merrick was aware but chose to ignore it. He knew that he had been sent by the Powers to guide and protect Buffy, but believed that protecting her, in this case, would do more harm than good. She needed to get used to being around the others, and Giles was a good person to start with. At least he might have some sympathy for her situation and understand her fears and reservations.

“As for not hoping,” Giles was rubbing his glasses. “If you were here, it could mean two things: either the Powers asked you for your help too, and sent Merrick with you for additional support, or you could be here for another reason.” Giles was afraid to continue.

Buffy sighed heavily, twisting her hands in her lap, still unable to express the thoughts running through her mind. The scars on her hands felt hot to the touch, when Merrick reached over and clasped one of Buffy’s hands in a show of support. Finally, the emotionally exhausted Slayer looked at Giles and admitted, “Yes, Giles. I am the Eternal Light.”

At that, Giles polished his glasses so vigorously that he popped a lens free of the frames. He stared, stunned, at his glasses, one finger poking through where the corrective lens should have been.

Buffy couldn’t help it. She tried to stop herself by holding her hands over her mouth, but the laughter broke through. “It...it...it had to...had to happen...,Giles,” she giggled.

More restrained than the Slayer, Merrick was also chuckling.

The couple looked so different from just a few minutes before, that Giles simply sat in his chair, staring at them.

It was that gaze that started Buffy laughing all over again. Soon she was holding her stomach and just about sliding off the couch, she was laughing so hard. “Oh God...I can’t breathe...your face...,” she said to Giles.

It didn’t take long for Giles to see the hilarity in the situation. Soon, he was laughing so hard that he had tears running down his face. “I’m sorry,” he finally got out.

Still emitting the occasional giggle, Buffy tried to sit up straight and pay attention to Giles. “Huh? They’re your glasses. Why are you apologizing to me?”

Giles was suddenly serious. “The glasses are neither here, nor there. What I believe I need to apologize for is whatever happened in the future, for my part in preventing you from finding your other half and becoming complete.”

With Giles’ comment, the room became silent.

After a quick look at the shelves that lined the walls, Buffy gestured to Giles’ liquor cabinet and the bottle of Scotch displayed there. “Can I?”

Giles looked surprised, but wasn’t going to stand in Buffy’s way. “Sure,” he responded, as she picked up three glasses and the bottle of whiskey and returned to the two men. Placing the glasses on the coffee table, she proceeded to pour two fingers of the golden fluid into each glass. When she was finished, she picked up a glass and returned to her seat on the couch.

Giles raised his glass with hers in a silent cheer. He even managed to restrain himself when she swallowed half her tumbler of whiskey in one shot, without even flinching.

“I was expecting you to choke, but clearly you’ve had whiskey before,” Giles said with amazement.

“Scotch holds some special memories for me. Sometimes a drink helps me remember better times.” She sat with her glass cradled in her hands, warming the whiskey, lost in her memories, with a little smile on her lips.

Giles moved his gaze from Buffy to Merrick, cocking a brow at him in question. Merrick just shook his head, indicating that they should wait for Buffy to come back to them on her own. Another few sips, and then, with her glass empty, the Slayer seemed to withdraw from times past and wake up to her current situation.

It was painful for Giles to watch her eyes change as she rejoined the conversation. He wanted to cringe, but they needed to move on. “Tell me please, Buffy. What will it take to get you to stay in this time?”

“Merrick can fill you in on some of the things he and I have already discussed. That’s probably a good place to start.”

“Yes, well, we have agreed that Buffy shouldn’t have to slay unless she wants to,” Merrick started.

“But, she’s the Slayer,” Giles objected.

“No. She is not.”

“She’s not? I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

Buffy smiled, pleased to hear Giles admit that he didn’t know everything.

Merrick sighed. “Kendra is your Slayer, Giles. Buffy is the Light...something completely different. If she finds her true partner and manages to become complete in this lifetime, her destiny won’t let her slay.”

Giles nodded, beginning to understand that Buffy had evolved into something so much more than being a Slayer.

“I understand. If the Light becomes complete, Buffy’s part will be to protect mankind by preventing Hell on Earth from happening.” The Watcher shrugged, as if Buffy’s contribution were somehow a simple one.

“And so, it would seem that everything depends on Buffy uniting with her other half, but how are we to know who that might be?” Giles asked.

Buffy quickly spoke up. “That’s none of your business, Giles. I know who it is, and that’s what matters. If you need confirmation, you’ll find it in the book, once you get it translated.”

“How can you be certain? At this point, we’ve barely begun to have any success deciphering the volume.” It wasn’t that Giles doubted her, but she spoke with such self-assurance that he felt she must know more than she was letting on.

“You need to remember that I’ve lived through this time before. Several decades ago, that book was in my possession. I eventually lost it in a fire, but I had a lot of time to study it before it was destroyed.”

“So, you know what is written in the book?” the excited Watcher asked.

“Yes, I know what it says, but, no, I won’t tell you.” Buffy looked sternly at the man that was once her substitute father. “If you want to know what the book says, you’ll need to translate it for yourself.”

Looking Giles directly in the eye, the Slayer continued. “The book doesn’t really matter much anyway. What matters is the future you envision for the World. Do you want the nightmare you saw in LA., or do you want a Hell-free world, where humans and demons work together? If the first is your choice, you don’t need to do anything. For the second, though, the Council is going to have to pay. They were the ones who tried to destroy my life by hiding the book, so it’s only right that they be the ones to pay whatever it takes to put my life back on track if I return to this time.”

“That sounds ominous. What, exactly, did you have in mind?”

“Get your pen and paper ready, Giles. This is an important list, and I don’t want to have to say it twice,” Buffy informed him. She waited patiently for him to get ready, before she started talking again. “First, I want a home of my own, and I want the Council to pay for it. I’ve already got the location picked out.”

“I’m not trying to create problems, Buffy, but what do you imagine your mother will say when you tell her that you are moving out?” Giles interrupted.

“She’s just going to have to deal, Giles. I’ve lived too many years on my own to go back to living with a curfew and daily chores.” Buffy grimaced. “Listen, I’ve thought really hard about this list. Why don’t I just tell you what I want, and then you can ask me all your questions when I’m done?” Buffy wanted to get this part over quickly, knowing that it was likely to cause some protests.

“Yes, of course, Buffy. I apologize. Do go on, please. I’ll keep a tight rein on my curiosity until you have finished speaking.”

The Light smiled thankfully at Giles. “I’ll need money to purchase the building, and to renovate it so it suits my needs. I’ll also need furniture and whatever else is missing, so that it’s a comfortable home for me. I’d also like a car. Something small, like what Cordelia has, would be great.”

Buffy continued. “I expect a paycheque each month, simply because I choose to stay here, with no obligation on my part to respond to any requests from the Council. Like other Council members, each year I want a raise, and I want a guarantee, in writing, that I will never receive a cheque that is smaller than what the head of the Council gets.”

Buffy frowned grimly, as a thought occurred to her. “I want it understood, they don’t have the option of giving the boss a pay cut, so that they can reduce what I receive. That won’t do at all. If they’re strapped for cash, they’ll have to cut back on Watchers. Understand that when I say I want what Travers gets, I mean everything that he gets: medical, dental, transportation allowance. If he gets it, I want it. Also, I want to be reimbursed for clothes and shoes that I ruin when I’m slaying or in some other way working to keep the world a nice place to live in. Weapons and books too. If I need it, I want it paid for. I don’t want to have to hassle about every little expense, so make sure this gets set up right.” At that, Buffy nodded to Giles, letting him know that it was now his turn to ask questions.

Giles’ pen had barely stopped moving before he asked, “I don’t understand why you won’t make an effort to live with your mother again. And what are your plans for the Buffy of this time...the one in the hospital? And what about...?”

“Hey,” Buffy interrupted. “One question at a time, Giles. First, I know I look like a teenager, but I’m old. Really old. I’ve got my own way of doing things and, as if that weren’t enough, can you really imagine my mom being ok with my boyfriend moving in? If I’m lucky enough to get him this time, no force on Earth would be enough to make me let him go. I plan to live with him, sharing a consenting, sexual, adult relationship, whether you approve or not. Actually, I think I’ll make it your job to get mom to agree to my new living arrangements. That should keep you busy for a while.”

Giles stiffened in his seat. “And just how do you expect me to get your mother to agree to your plans?”

“My mother loves the Buffy that’s lying in the hospital right now. We know she’s gone, but I know my mom is still praying that she’ll come back somehow. In a way, Mom is going to get her wish. For me to stay in this time, I need to take over the other Buffy’s body. Her essence has already passed on to Heaven, so her body is just an empty shell right now. I don’t understand the process, but Merrick will move my essence to the younger body, so I can stay here. If you need more specifics about the move, you’ll have to talk to him.”

Giles turned to Merrick with a look of expectation. “A little spell, that’s all.”

“If Buffy takes over the body in the hospital, what happens to the body that she is in now?” Giles was worried that he might have to make some kind of body swap. Future Buffy’s body was noticeably different from the one in the hospital bed.

“Don’t worry about that,” Merrick responded. “Once Buffy’s essence leaves this body, it will automatically return to the future.”

“You seem to have everything planned out, but I foresee a small flaw in your agenda.” Giles sipped at the Scotch in his glass. “I don’t believe the Council will pay what you are demanding. In fact, I don’t believe they will agree to pay you anything at all, Buffy.”

“Really, Giles? You think they’d prefer Hell on Earth? Try telling them that I know all their dirty little secrets: the hidden bank accounts, the vault in the basement of the Council headquarters, and the strongboxes hidden across the globe.” Suddenly, the Slayer had an evil smile around her mouth.

“I get the impression that you don’t like the Council, Buffy.” When Giles became a Watcher, he made a lifetime commitment. It was hard for him to hear the derision in his young charge’s voice now, when she spoke of the long-standing institution.

“You’ve got that right,” the Light confirmed. “Don’t like them, don’t trust them. Do you blame me?”

For a brief moment, it was as if the years fell away and Giles was once again the father figure she knew she could count on, no matter what. Buffy wished she could hold on to that feeling, but knew she had changed too much for them to ever have that kind of relationship again.

Giles gave her a sad smile, shadowed with loss he had yet to experience. “No, I don’t blame you at all, Buffy.”

That was it. Buffy knew that her emotions were going to get the best of her soon, and didn’t want to start crying in front of Giles. “I want a contract in twenty-four hours.”

“That’s not enough time,” Giles sputtered.

Buffy sighed. “Too bad. I’m tired of trying to disguise myself, and of wasting time wrangling with the Council instead of finding my other half and becoming complete. I want to know where I stand. Am I living here, or returning to the future?”