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So You Think You Can Dance by slaymesoftly
 
Twelve
 
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CHAPTER TWELVE
 
 
“Good afternoon,” Vi said, grinning at Buffy’s still-disheveled appearance. “I take it you found Spike?”
 
“I did.”  She sighed and smiled at Vi. “It was a little... intense, for awhile. And then there was the drinking, and.... Yeah, if I look like I feel....”
 
“So – Nap? Lunch? Shower?”
 
“All of the above?”  Buffy shook her head. “Forget that. Actually, I stopped on the way home and grabbed some food. I was starving. So I think I’m just going with shower and nap for now.”
 
It was four hours later when Buffy woke up and stretched, feeling pleasant aches in places she hadn’t felt those aches in many, many years. “I guess this is what’s meant by ‘hurts so good’,” she murmured with a small smile. She was still smiling to herself when her phone rang. She caught it on the second ring, giggling softly.
 
“Something you’d like to share with the class, Slayer?”
 
“I just feel happy,” she said, laughing again. “But if you’re real good, I might tell you why later.”
 
“Can only hope it’s the same reason I woke up with a smile on my face,” he replied, his voice full of the affection he’d been afraid to show her years ago.
 
“I’m pretty sure it’s related,” she said, giggling again. “But I’m not going to tell you what I was thinking that made me laugh. Not now, anyway.”
 
“Alright, love, I can wait.  Do you still want to go out?”
 
“You mean like on a real date? I don’t think we’ve ever done that, have we?” There was a long silence, but before Spike could spoil the mood, Buffy hastened on. “And that was mostly my fault. I know that. I wasn’t complaining. I wasn’t. It’s just that we never did, and....” She trailed off, not sure how to say that she was well aware that he would have taken her anywhere she wanted to go if she’d been willing to permit it.  “I’m looking forward to it, William,” she finished softly.
 
“Then I’ll be there as soon as the sun goes down, and we’ll make up for lost time. Dinner, dancing....” At Buffy’s giggle, he growled. “Didn’t mean that this time.”
 
“I know you didn’t, but, come on, did you think my mind wasn’t going to go there?”
 
“Fair enough, love. Go get pretty; I’ll pick you up as soon as I can get there.”
 
“Take your time. I don’t want to go out with pile of ashes.”
 
“See you soon, Buffy.”
 
“’K”
 
 
 
Buffy searched through her closet, looking for something that said “date with my lover” rather than “won’t show demon guts”. She finally came up with a simple, flared skirt and a red silk blouse that she’d thrown in her suitcase just in case. “Just in case” what, she wasn’t sure, but she was grateful that she’d done it.  She hadn’t brought very dressy shoes with her, though, so ended up with flat sandals with some bling on them.
 
“Wow, you look great,” Vi greeted her when she came downstairs. “Where are you guys going?”
 
“I don’t know. Spike just said he’d take me out to dinner someplace nice. Of course, he’s a vampire, so his idea of nice might be.... Nah, I know better. He didn’t spend all of the past hundred and whatever years hanging out at places like Willy’s.”
 
“I’m sure he knows lots of nice places,” Vi said supportively. “But just in case, do you want me to give you some names?”
 
Buffy thought for a second, then shrugged. “No. If I’m going to trust him in my life, I think I should trust him to pick a nice place for dinner. We’re good.”
 
 
 
 
Spike knocked on the front door thirty minutes after the sun started to drop behind the tall buildings. He smiled at Rita, who let him in, but his eyes went immediately to Buffy.
She refused to acknowledge the little inward sigh of relief when he walked in wearing dark twill pants and a dress shirt.
 
“You look gorgeous, pet. Ready to go? I’ve got a cab waiting.” Grabbing her purse and a sweater, Buffy waved her good-byes and followed him out the door to the waiting taxi.  
 
The drive to the restaurant didn’t take long, but Buffy was glad for the ride. It seemed like something “normal” people might do. Spike held her hand while she gazed at the passing scenery. The driver took them past the lake front, a part of the city Buffy hadn’t seen yet.
 
“Pretty,” Buffy said. “Who knew?”
 
Spike laughed. “Think that needs to be put into the new Slayer Handbook, pet?”
 
“What? That Cleveland has pretty parts?”
 
“That slayers should take the time to enjoy the places they get sent.  After they’ve taken care of the evil things and whatnot, of course.”
 
Buffy nodded. “I’ve been trying to do that, actually,” she admitted. “I always add a day or two to make sure things are going to be okay after I leave, and then I use those days to be a tourist.”  She peered at him. “This trip was a little different. I had other things to do with my extra time.”
 
He stared back at her, making no reply until they were out of the cab and on the way to their table in the restaurant. As they followed the maitre’de to the table Spike had reserved earlier, he said without inflection, “So, does that mean you’ve used up your extra time and you’re leaving soon?”
 
She shrugged and smiled at the man who was pulling her chair out, waiting until he had left them to respond. “Not right away,” she said. “But I do have to go back.  It’s not like I don’t have a job.” She stared at him anxiously, wondering if this was going to be anther problem. She relaxed when he nodded, smiling when the bottle of wine he’d pre-ordered was placed on the table.
 
“Right. Well then, let’s enjoy your free time.” After the opening, sniffing, tasting ritual, he waved the wine steward away and poured Buffy’s wine himself.  “To us, Buffy.”
 
Her response this time, “To us,” brought another smile to his face, one she had seen only rarely in their days in Sunnydale. She smiled back at him. “We are us, aren’t we? That’s what Giles was so worried about when he—” She shuddered at that long-suppressed memory, and he put a hand over hers.
 
“It’s alright, love. Knew he was only thinking about you.  He was being a bleeding idiot, but his heart was in the right place.”
 
“You’re a lot more forgiving than I am. I held that against him for years.”
 
“Because you loved me.” His face wore a look of happy bemusement. “Still can’t get used to that.”
 
“Because I love you. I never stopped, I just thought you were gone forever, and I should try to move on. And I did. And when I did, then I could forgive Giles for almost making you gone even sooner.”
 
“Wasn’t going to leave you, love. Wasn’t going to let that sadistic bastard kill me, and I didn’t kill him because I knew you wouldn’t let me stay around if I did.”
 
“I think I’ve mellowed since then. In fact, I think I started mellowing as soon as I saw that horrible room.” She stared at the table. “You know, I never said anything to you, but I told Robin if he ever tried that again, I’d let you kill him.” She brought her gaze up to his. “And I might have helped you do it.”
 
He reached for her hand again, then shook his head and smiled up at the waiter. “Give us a few more minutes, mate. Please?”
 
When the man had retired to a discrete distance, Spike looked back at Buffy. “Want to ask you a question, love, but I don’t want you to answer it right away. Think about it while you enjoy your...” he glanced down at the menu he was holding “... ridiculously expensive food, and give me your answer later. Alright?” He waited for Buffy’s nod, before continuing, “Did you love me before I got the soul, or did that make the difference?”
 
“I—”
 
He held up his hand. “Uh uh, Slayer. Order your food, eat it, and then answer my question.”
 
Buffy studied the menu, flinching when she saw the prices. “Can we afford this?” She was still frowning at the menu and completely missed the way his face lit up at her use of the pronoun.
 
“Don’t worry about it, love. You’re worth every penny. And yes, we can afford it.”
 
 
~~~~~~~~
 
 
They left the restaurant and began walking down the street, holding hands as if they had been together for years. As they walked along, Spike asked,  “Are you hoping if you wait long enough, I’ll forget my question?
 
Buffy gave a guilty start. “No. Not exactly... You did say I should eat my dinner first!”
 
“I did. And you have.... It’s probably half-way to being digested by now,” he added in a low mutter. Raising his voice a bit, he said, “Just wanted you to have time to think about it. Didn’t mean you had to wait until you’d come up with a speech.”
 
Buffy stopped and turned to face him.  Other pedestrians flowed around them as they stared at each other. “I’m guessing you want an honest answer?”
 
“Be my first choice,” he said, his tone sarcastic but his face blank of expression.
 
She took a deep breath, letting it out in a sigh. “Okay, then. Here goes... The soul didn’t make me love you. It showed me how much you love me, and how... different... you are from any other vampire in the world.  But you were right... back in the bad times? When I was using you?  I did love you. But I didn’t want to, so I just refused to even consider the possibility. The closest I could get was to admit I wanted your body, and that I didn’t want anyone else to have you. What the soul did was allow me to admit to myself that I loved you. It was okay, once you had the soul.”
 
She reached up to touch his cheek.  “You probably didn’t hear any of those conversations, but I think everybody in that house who knew us pretty much thought I was in love with you – and that I had been the year before when I was sleeping with you.  Everybody except me. I still thought....” Her hand dropped. “I don’t know what I thought. I just know I should never have waited until you were dying to tell you.”
 
“And now?”
 
“And now, I don’t care if you have your soul or not. You are my Spike, with or without it. And I do... love you, I mean.”  She bit her lip.  “I’m kind of surprised how much, to be honest. It’s been such a long time. I mean, I knew there was a Spike-shaped hole in my heart, but I never thought...” She stopped again and stared into his eyes.  “It might take us a while to get used to being around each other again. But I want to try it.”
 
“I expect it’s going to take more than one knock-down, drag-out to work through all the baggage, but I’m more than willing to try. What we’ve got... what we could have...” Ignoring the muttering from passing pedestrians who had to go around them, he rested his forehead against hers.  “It’s worth fightin’ for, Buffy.”  Her arms had just gone around his neck and he was reaching for a kiss when her phone went off in the purse tucked under her armpit. Spike growled and Buffy shook her head.
 
“I’d better get that.”
 
“S’pose so,” he agreed with little grace, stepping back just enough that she should could reach her phone. She gave him an apologetic smile as she answered it. Her demeanor changed quickly.
 
“What? When?  Yes, of course I will. As soon as I can get there.” She paused and glanced at Spike. “Do you want me to ask him? No, no trouble. He’s standing right here... yes, I’ll explain later. Here he is.”  She handed the phone to a bewildered Spike. “It’s Willow. She needs us – me – to come back right away and—”
 
She stopped talking when Spike took the phone from her.
 
“What’s up, Red?” he asked as calmly as if they had last spoken just a few days ago. He listened intently, frowned up at Buffy once, then responded. “If you think I can help, I’d be glad to. Here’s the Slayer back.” He handed the phone to Buffy who nodded and said, “Okay, Will. I’ll go back to the house now and wait for the travel info.  See you soon.” She closed the phone and bit her lip. “So, you’re going to come back with me? Now?”
 
“Did you think I was going to let you go anywhere without me?”
 
“Well, no.... I mean, I hoped you... but this is kind of short notice. I thought we’d have to talk about it and... stuff.”
 
“We just did the only talking I needed. I’ve got no ties here. I’ll go settle up my rent for the month, pack up my stuff and meet you back at the house.”  He paused. “Unless you don’t want me coming with you? Would you rather we traveled separately?”
 
“Of course, I want you with me! Didn’t I just say that?  I just didn’t know if you could just pick up and take off like that. It’s not like I know a whole lot about your life now,” she added with a glare.
 
“Right back at you, love,” he said, smiling in the face of her fading pique.  “Maybe we can catch up on the flight.” He took her hand again, carefully placing her on the inside as they started back toward the restaurant. “Let’s get ourselves a cab back so we can start packing.”
 
They started walking again, with Spike holding Buffy’s left hand. She glanced over at him, an eyebrow raised.
 
“What? I wasn’t brought up by animals. I know how to walk with a lady.”
 
“Apparently I don’t. Why did you change hands and go to that side? It’s not like we’re going to be fighting anything.”
 
He rolled his eyes, then laughed at himself. “Is a bit old-fashioned, I guess. I didn’t realize you wouldn’t know what I was doing. The gentleman always walks on the outside – it’s a holdover from days when streets were muddy – and worse – and the lady needed to be protected from unpleasant surprises. Had something to do with keeping his sword arm free too, I think, but that would be the opposite for us anyway, wouldn’t it? Last time I had reason to think about it, everybody knew what was going on, even though mud in the streets was pretty much a thing of the past. I guess it’s kind of gone by the boards in the past thirty years or so.”
 
“I guess so. It’s new to me. I’d rather have you like this, on my left, where you usually are, than bouncing back and forth depending on which direction we’re walking in.”
 
“Duly noted, love. Don’t worry about something getting Buffy muddy, just make sure her weapon arm is free.”  He laughed and released her hand to put his arm around her.
 
“Just so we’re clear,” she said, her voice muffled in his armpit.  They dropped the topic as Spike hailed a taxi and helped Buffy into it.  He gave the address of the slayer house and settled back against the seat, his arm around her shoulders.
 
“We’re being very couply, aren’t we?” she said, smiling up at him in an attempt to ward off any thoughts he might have that she was complaining.
 
“Is that okay with you?” He didn’t move his arm, but she felt him stiffen, and she sighed before nudging him with her nose.
 
“It’s fine. I was just saying... It’s new. We might have to practice this stuff some more.”
 
“Any time you want to, love. Dinner, dancing....” He growled when she raised an eyebrow at him. “... movies, whatever you want to do, I’m up for it. I know how to take care of my lady.”
 
“I’ll keep that in mind,” she said as the cab pulled up in front of the slayer house. “Meanwhile, I think our next date is with some kind of ogre or something in Iceland.
Pack your warm clothes.”
 
“It’s still summer in Iceland too, love.  But point taken. You go pack up, I’ll be back before you know it.”
 
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