Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine, alas. Thanks so much to SanityFair for once more beating my punctuation into submission.
 
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Chapter 3 – Time for a Chat
 
After a long stunned silence, Spike finally spoke. “I suppose we should verify where and when we ended up somehow.”
 
“I think if we go out there looking like this, people are going to freak,” Buffy pointed out.
 
Spike had to concede that she had a point. She was wearing black leather boots, jeans, and a sleeveless black top, in addition to being disheveled and bleached blonde. His own standard uniform was hardly going to blend in either. “Guess we’ll have to either sneak around or find some clothes to um, borrow.”
 
“You mean steal,” Buffy said pointedly.
 
“Well, yeah. Still a vampire, love.”
 
A look of resignation crossed Buffy’s face. “Can’t really say that’s a bad idea, given that we’re sort of stuck here. But we’re going to have to wait until nightfall. Better stealing opportunities, less dusting.”
 
“I do appreciate the consideration,” Spike replied. He looked her over again. Her pragmatic attitude toward theft was new, as was the world weary look in her eyes. Despite that, she was still a knockout. “You’re… looking well Slayer,” he said, unable to disguise the affection in his voice.
 
“Not looking too bad yourself.” Buffy looked down, chewed her lip then finally said, “How did you get back?”
 
With a rueful look Spike said, “Guess it’s time for that long story, huh?”
 
“I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.” Buffy leaned against the wall and fixed him with her green eyes. “I’d like to hear this one, if you don’t mind.”
 
Taking a deep unnecessary breath, Spike began his tale. “A couple of weeks after Sunnydale I showed up in Angel’s office. Someone sent him that bloody amulet, he opened it, and I popped out. Only problem was that I was a ghost.”
 
Buffy’s mouth dropped open. “You’ve been back that long? And nobody thought to say, tell me?”
 
“You gotta understand, pet, I was a bit preoccupied at first,” Spike began to explain. “I mean I showed up, and the first thing I saw was Angel. I went for his throat, found myself standing in the middle of his desk. Couldn’t touch anything, kept disappearing. And every time I disappeared I found myself being dragged down toward hell fire and torment.” He paused in his tale and looked at her. “Want you to know, the first thing I asked about was you.”
 
Buffy still looked hurt and confused. “So why didn’t Angel call me?”
 
Spike shook his head. “I don’t know. He said you were fine, that you were in Europe, but he didn’t really say much else.”
 
“I guess I wasn’t particularly friendly toward him when we last met,” Buffy admitted. “I was… upset. I may have called him a few names. And I punched him in the nose. I can sort of see why he wasn’t ready to call me right away.”
 
Spike’s eyebrows shot upward. “Why did you punch him? Not that I mind or anything.”
 
“Because he got you killed,” Buffy answered quietly, avoiding his eyes. “I was… I mourned you.” She fought against the urge to cry, or fling herself at him, or hit him, or all of the above. Instead she said, “So you were a ghost. What happened next?”
 
She mourned me? Spike had imagined that Buffy had been proud of him, but he also had firmly believed she had moved on and hadn’t looked back. You may have royally fucked up here, he admonished himself. In answer to her last question he said, “Well, at some point a box arrived. Not sure who it was from. Opened it up, there was a flash of light, and I was all corporeal again. Got in a huge argument with Angel over some fake prophesy, we pounded the shit out of each other, then managed to come to some kind of truce, and I started working on his team.”
 
“But why didn’t you let me know you were back?” Buffy hated the whiny, desperate tone creeping into her voice, but she had to know.
 
The blonde vampire struggled with how to explain. “I wanted you to remember me as a hero. Wasn’t exactly sure what my purpose was supposed to be, but I thought I should work that out on my own rather than show up on your doorstep. ‘Sides, I thought you’d moved on, made a new life for yourself with all the new Slayers. Didn’t think you needed me anymore.”
 
“Oh.” Buffy wrapped her arms tighter around her knees, studying every little bit of hay on the floor in front of her as she tried to understand. Her face betrayed nothing, but her eyes were clouded with inner turmoil.
 
The silence stretched out until Spike couldn’t stand it anymore. “Talk to me, Slayer.”
 
Unable to meet his eyes Buffy addressed her remarks to the hay. “I meant what I said. In the Hellmouth. I mean I know you didn’t believe me, but I did. I was really messed up for a while after Sunnydale. I kept having nightmares about you. It… it would have helped to know you were okay.” A tear slipped out of the corner of her eye, and she wiped it away quickly.
 
“I… oh, Christ, Buffy I didn’t know.” The regret crashed on Spike like a wave. She wasn’t just throwing you a bone, you idiot. And you didn’t have the balls to go find out what she was thinking. Fucking coward.
 
“Doesn’t matter now.” Another tear formed and was quickly dispatched.
 
Spike hesitated, then said carefully, “I found out that you were dating the Immortal. I guess that made me feel like I was right to stay away.”
 
Buffy looked up sharply. “How did you..?”
 
“Angel and I had a task to do in Rome. Saw you dancing in a club, but ended up getting the crap kicked out of me, so I didn’t have time to talk. We stopped by your apartment, but Andrew said that you’d outgrown both of us.”
 
“Andrew knew?” Buffy cried furiously. “I’ll kick his ass!”
 
“I asked him not to tell you. Figured you didn’t need the hassle.”
 
All of a sudden Buffy sat up, cocked her arm back, and punched him square in the jaw. She had gone from zero to pissed in about two seconds, and Spike found himself suddenly hoping she didn’t have a stake on her as she glowered at him. “You son of a bitch! You of all people! I was used to Angel deciding what was best for Buffy, and Giles and all the rest. But you used to respect me. You always treated me as an equal, as an adult capable of deciding what I wanted! Now I hear you’re doing the same thing as them. Let’s just decide what Buffy would want, or what Buffy should do, or what Buffy would consider a hassle instead of fucking asking me!”
 
“What about what I want then?” Spike exploded back at her. “Maybe I didn’t want to be tolerated by the Scoobies anymore! Maybe I didn’t want to come back to find that I had meant nothing to you in the end since you clearly moved on pretty damn quick!”
 
“I hadn’t moved on!” Buffy sat back, still angry, tears rolling unchecked down her cheeks. “I was seeing the Immortal to get Giles and the rest off my back, okay? They kept at me, all the damn time. ‘You need to let go, Buffy’, ‘Spike’s gone, Buffy’, ‘There’s still evil, and we need to train the new Slayers, so there’s no time for you to grieve, Buffy,’ and ‘You can’t sit in your room every night it’s not good for you,’ and on and on until I was ready to scream or kill someone! So fine, I’ll go out and pretend to be interested in what the Immortal says. At least he knew what a Slayer, was so I didn’t have to explain all that. But I never liked him, and I never slept with him, so stop running your mouth about what you don’t understand!”
 
Spike’s jaw was in imminent danger of hitting the ground as he took in Buffy’s outburst. For the second time in ten minutes he said, “I didn’t know. I swear. I didn’t know. Never meant to hurt you. Never really dared to hope that I really meant that much to you.”
 
“Well you did, you big jerk,” Buffy sobbed, rubbing her eyes. After a few moment’s hesitation, Spike shifted over next to her and tentatively put his arm around her shoulder, not sure if this was going to get him another punch in the face or not. But instead Buffy turned and wrapped her arms around him, sobbing into his shirt. “I love you, you stupid vampire,” she muttered into his chest.
 
“Love you too, Slayer,” he whispered, folding her close to him and reveling in her heat, her scent. “Never stopped. Never will.”
 
“Don’t you ever leave me again,” Buffy said, squeezing him even tighter.
 
“Never,” Spike agreed. He held on to her, hoping he would be able to keep that promise.
 
 TBC