***
Chapter 9
***
A/N Small portion of dialogue from “The Body” by Joss Whedon, as well as small bits of dialogue from “Helpless” by David Fury and “Touched” by Rebecca Rand Kirshner.
 
 
"I have no doubt your fine, beautiful mother would be proud to be displayed in any of these lovely choices," the funeral director's bland countenance did little to conceal the rampant avarice within his soul.  "This full brush Copper Heritage with bronze finish is a popular choice for those with discriminating tastes."  He could see that the girl was not fully listening to his soft sell suggestions.  He looked at the stuffy looking older gentleman and made another suggestion, "Of course, since the lovely Mrs. Summers deserves nothing short of the very best, there is also our Belmont mahogany veneer with almond velvet interior.  Just feel the plush detail of the lining!"
 
'He's a ghoul.  I can slay ghouls, can't I?' Buffy thought in disgust. 
 
"Mrs. Summers did, indeed, deserve the best, but she also made clear her own wishes in the event of her passing." Giles sounded disgusted with the clear attempt by the man at emotional manipulation of the grieving.  He headed towards a lower priced but still lovely white metal casket, much to the funeral director's disappointment.  "Buffy, what do you think about this one?"
 
Buffy looked at the proposed place to lay her beloved mother to rest and fought off a shudder.  Her mother belonged in her own lovely queen size bed--alive, resting and growing stronger, not in a metal box, no matter how stylish or plush the lining.
 
"Giles, would you mind filling out some of those forms for Mr...?" She was stuck on the name of the salesman-cum-funeral director who hadn't given her a moment of peace since their arrival.  "I'd like to look around by myself to decide."
 
"Of course."  Giles took Dawn by the elbow and steered the weeping teen toward the consultation room.
 
Buffy looked at the showroom filled with beautifully made boxes all waiting to be filled with loved ones and buried under several feet of earth, never to be seen again, and she finally gave in to the tears.
 
She felt the tinglies that screamed 'vampire' loud and clear and noticed a slim, somewhat nerdy looking fellow in a lab coat trying to slink out of the back room unnoticed.  Her hand automatically reached for her ever present stake as she blocked this interloping vamp’s escape.
 
"Please, Slayer, don't stake me!"  The vampire was pathetic, wide-eyed and visibly shaking. 
 
"Why not?  You, vampire; me, Slayer--it's kismet, isn't it?"  Buffy had him pinned to the wall with one hand, but in all honesty the vampire was putting up no fight at all.
 
"Please.  I work here.  I don't kill anyone; you can ask," the vampire whispered.
 
"Splainy?"
 
"Look, I was never cut out to be a vampire.  I can't stand fighting, never even liked the sight of blood before I was turned."  Buffy loosened her hold and listened with a disbelieving smirk.
 
"My name's Dooley.  I got turned during the big war.  I never met my sire.  There was plenty of blood around without my having to kill anyone there at first.  Then I found ways to get blood from the medical corpsmen.  I'd been a combat medic.  See, even then I didn't want to fight!"  Buffy had moved further away, finding this vampire’s story an odd distraction to her overwhelming grief.
 
"And you work here...why?"
 
"I had to find some way to feed.  I can't stomach taking lives and I'm no good at hunting.  When I saw how embalming works, it seemed the perfect solution."  Buffy looked confused, so he explained further, "You have to take all the blood out before you can put in the solution, see.  It's a perfect job for a vampire, really.  All that blood has to be drained anyway and no one gets hurt."  His voice dropped to a soft whisper at the end.  Dooley swallowed nervously and prayed to whatever entity might care about a hardworking, non-killing vamp that the Slayer would see the truth in his eyes.
 
"Huh."  Buffy let him go and stepped back from the trembling creature.  Yeah, the whole world was upside-down and made little sense anymore.  She was pretty sure the weird story from the even weirder vampire was true, but then again, did it really matter at the moment?  "It's your lucky day, Dooley.  Unlike your boss, you seem to be honest." 
 
She kept her eyes on him as she moved back toward the showroom.  "Now that I know about you, though, just remember that if I find out you've lied, I will hunt you down."
 
The vampire looked beyond relieved.  "Thank you, Slayer.  You won't regret this, I swear."  He bit his lip and offered a word of free advice in gratitude.  "Um...if Mr. Tate tries to sell you the mahogany one, just know he marks up the price by a couple of thousand.  It's not any better than the one in poplar."
 
***
 
"She's just so closed down," Willow said worriedly.  "Has she even tried to talk to any of you?  She's hardly said a word to me."
 
Xander shook his head sadly.  "Her mom dying like that, especially when she seemed to be getting better, has really hit our Buffster hard.  She'll come around, Will."
 
"But I don't understand! I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she's…there's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore! It's stupid! It's mortal and stupid! And, and Xander's crying and not talking, and, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, ‘well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch, ever,’ and she'll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why,"  Anya dissolved into a sodden mess of tears.
 
Xander tenderly gathered his girlfriend into his arms and tried to offer comfort.
 
Tara tried to respond to Anya before the clearly irritated Willow could chastise the former demon. "My mother died when I was seventeen. There's things...thoughts and reactions I had that...I couldn't... understand...or even try to explain to anyone else. Thoughts that...made me feel like I was losing it... or, like I was some kind of ho-horrible person."
 
Willow put her arms around her love, "Was it sudden?  Your mom, I mean?"
 
"No. And yes. It's always sudden."  Tara sat, lost in her own private memories of grief.
 
"Well, at least she's not trying to patrol right now.  I don't know if she'd be able to deal the way she's feeling right now," Willow concluded.
 
"Yeah, guess we should be grateful she insisted on Dead Boy, Jr. being part of the team.  His taking her patrols has been a real help."  Xander shrugged as if he couldn't believe he was saying anything complimentary about Spike.
 
"I think Spike is working his own grief out by killing demons," Tara nodded in agreement.  "I saw him last night as I was walking past Rosedale Cemetery and he was really taking it out on a large Fyarl demon.  I actually felt sorry for it."
 
Xander rubbed his bandaged hand in sympathy, "I had a close encounter with a wall demon myself.  Violence...yeah, it's of the helpful."
 
***
 
"No, Spike.  I need to get back on the job.  There is a whole town filled with fear-crazed humans and not-so-stealthy military guys trying to play at demon control, but this is MY job, my calling.  I need to get back to it."  Buffy was firm.  "I appreciate you covering those few days, but I NEED to do this."
 
Spike wasn't sure she was fully ready to get back into patrolling, but she was doing a bit better and there was no way she was going to listen to anything he had to say otherwise.  "It's pretty quiet out there, pet.  Only the truly stupid demons are out creatin' chaos with everything goin' on.  No real challenge and I don't mind doin' sweeps a while longer if you and the Bit want some more time to find your feet again."
 
"See," Buffy brightened as an idea hit her.  The perfect way to redirect Spike's concern.  "That is how you can really help me:  Dawn!  She's shut me out and I know she needs someone who can get her to talk, get her to deal with...."  She couldn't even finish the thought.
 
Spike smiled softly and resisted trying to draw Buffy into an embrace.  'Poor dove could do with a bit of that herself.'
 
"How about you stay here with Dawn?  Get her to eat something other than one of her horror stories on a plate and maybe talk a bit?"  Buffy looked at him hopefully.  "She was always coming to you in the past when she wanted to spew emotional stuff.  You as the big vamp babysitter might be just what she needs.  You can help Dawn and I'll know she's okay while I get back to patrolling."
 
Spike felt uneasy.  Surely it would be a better solution for the two sisters to grieve together, talk together and try to heal.  He could go out and kill things like a proper demon and everything would be as it should be.  He looked at Buffy and, as always, could deny her nothing, "Sure, pet.  Ol' Spike will even try to remember how to heat up a TV dinner that's not liquid.  Don't worry 'bout the Bit.  Nothin' gonna get to her with me around."
 
"I know," Buffy gave him one of her increasingly rare smiles.  "Thanks."
 
***
Spike had been right.  Aside from a band of rather loud teenaged boys making a show of marching in some uniforms that would have been right at home at Dragoncon, and two small squads of guys in military gear, it was All Quiet On the Western Front city.
 
Buffy was lost in thoughts of her mom and worry over just what kind of life she was going to be able to make for herself and her sister without Joyce's steady hand when she nearly stumbled on a startled small Kwaini demon.  They were known to be non-violent, so Buffy merely urged her to seek shelter and continued her patrol, her mind not really on anything but her raging emotions. 
 
"Nothing to kill around here and I could use something that needs a good pounding," she pouted.
 
"Perhaps that can be arranged," the voice came from behind and Buffy whirled into position, finally ready for a good fight.
 
***
 
"What do you mean she never returned home?"  Giles hadn't slept well and it was far too early in the morning to quickly grasp the panicked words from the vampire on the other end of the line.
 
"Do I have to use smaller words, Watcher?"  Spike was all out of patience. He'd waited for Buffy to return until after sunrise and had been trying to cope with Dawn's endless list of things that must have gone wrong for Buffy to still be out.  Time Giles got involved, even if it was the bloody arse crack of dawn!  "The Slayer never came home from patrol last night."
 
"Are you quite certain?"  Giles fumbled for his glasses and looked at the time brightly glowing on the alarm clock. "It is still early.  Perhaps she encountered a large group of demons and is merely delayed in returning home.  By the way, what are YOU doing there?  I assume you are calling from the Summers residence?"
 
"Slayer had me braiding hair with the Bit.  Said she needed to get back to patrolling, even though I offered."  Spike's voice had an uncharacteristic quiver to it.  "It's been too quiet for her to have had any real challenge on patrol or I'd never have gone along with her daft plan to make me into a bloody babysitter."
 
"Was she still distracted when she left to go on patrol?" Giles was beginning to share Spike's concern.
 
"Well...yeah," Spike was clearly at his most sarcastic, "You think she was tickin' off some grievin' list?  Denial: check. Anger: double-check. Bargaining: check. Depression: check. Slaying?  She's feelin' all that and more, and you've seen it.  In her own head most of the time.  Not even talking to Niblet.  That's why she asked me to do Dawn patrol; knows the chit needs an ear, even if it's mine."
 
Giles let out an exasperated sigh, "Yes, Spike, I am well aware of the delicate nature of Buffy's emotional state at the moment."
 
"I'm more worried about the possible state of her physically at the mo," Spike's voice shook.  "Too many helpful humans out and about might not understand a tiny slip of a human girl out in the night by herself.  You know how Buffy feels about killin' humans, even those that deserve it."
 
"Have you contacted Willow or Xander?"
 
"Not exactly on my Friends and Family, now are they?"  Spike knew that Willow would listen, but he doubted Xander would even take a call from him, much less listen to what he had to say.
 
"Quite," Giles agreed.  "I'll call and see if anyone has seen or heard from Buffy.  I'll need you to stay there with Dawn for the time being.  Call immediately should Buffy arrive home."
 
"'Course I will.  Can't leave the Bit.  Besides, it's a mite too sunny for a quick jog home." Spike wondered if there would be any negative repercussions if he were to slip a Valium into the girl's milk.  Her imagination was going places Spike didn't want to go when it came to possible reasons the Slayer was missing.  He hated that he couldn't simply go out and hunt for Buffy himself.  "Only time I hate bein' a vamp is when I'm stuck in the dark and where I need to be is in the light."
 
"She will turn up.  Buffy is quite resilient and resourceful," Giles reminded them both.
 
"She is that, but she is also human, maybe more human than usual of late," Spike added.
 
***
 
It had been one of the longest days of Spike's entire existence and listening to the Scoobies argue was not improving his mood one bit.
 
"She didn't say anything then either," Xander reminded everyone for the dozenth time.
 
"But Buffy didn't have a little sister depending on her then," Tara suggested, having heard all the arguments that had been going on for what seemed like hours.
 
"Right here," Dawn raised her hand miserably.  "I have fake memories about that, and I really can't see Buffy doing that even if she is grieving and upset."
 
"I think we should at least check the bus stations. Maybe she went to L.A. to see Angel?" Willow offered.
 
Spike bit back a nasty comment about his less-than-helpful grandsire and scoffed, "Not bloody likely.  I'm tellin' you she went on patrol takin' nothin' with her except her pointy wooden friend.  Doubt she even took her ID, much less anything she'd need if she decided to scarper off."
 
"But she isn't anywhere and no one has seen her," Xander reminded everyone of the hours they had all searched.  "Willie said some of his customers saw her early on, but not many of them were out and about to know where she was patrolling.  The only one who remembered where they saw her said it was real early, right after you say she left the house, and that was down by the train station."
 
"A place she's been patrollin' regular ever since that passenger car full of drained bodies turned up.  Means nothin' except she's still patrollin' there." Spike wanted to smack the boy for being so stubborn.
 
Xander jutted his chin out and repeated his idea for the millionth time.  "All I'm saying is that when Buffy hit bottom the last time, when she had to send Angel to hell, she took off.  Losing her mom and with everything else going on might have made her need to...I don't know...get away?"
 
"Like a vacation?" Dawn snorted.  "Yeah, 'cause that's just soooo Buffy!"
 
"Children!" Giles held up his hand, wondering if it was half in defeat.  "Enough of this speculation.  I highly doubt Buffy has simply run off.  She is older and wiser now and has far more responsibilities and concerns."
 
"What I've been sayin'!  Do you lot even KNOW her?"  Spike was disgusted.  "This is the woman who saves the world on a regular basis.  Haven't you seen her strength and kindness?  Haven't you noticed how she carries all of you even when she's dead tired herself?  Hell, she's even willin' to spare some of that kindness my way.  She's not likely to walk out on any of you, but especially not Dawn."  He smiled at the distraught girl.  "You've all had your look around; my turn now.  It's night and I know where the dark things go.  Someone or some thing will know what happened.  Maybe she was injured and is layin' low.  She's around.  We'll find her."  He looked directly at Dawn hoping she would hold onto his promise.
 
"Be careful.  You're one of those things that go bump in the night that almost everyone is out looking for.  It's not really the safest thing in the world for you to be out there," Tara sounded worried and put a hand on his arm, as if to try to make him change his mind and stay.
 
Spike looked at the girl gently and remembered again why he thought her too good for most of the Scoobie clan.  "Ta, luv, I'll be fine.  Got a Slayer to hunt down and got the street cred to get some demons talkin' if they know anything."
 
"Be careful," Dawn added, "I can't lose you too."
 
***
 
Spike really wanted someone to say the wrong thing so he could go all fist and fangs.  All day he'd been kicking himself for not calling one of the Scoobies to stay with Dawn so he could have Buffy's back.  He'd been lulled into thinking he was best helping by comforting Dawn when clearly Buffy had been the one needing the Big Bad at her side.
 
He'd been to every bar and dive that catered to the less than human population.  He'd questioned every lowlife and demon he could hunt down, to no avail.  Aside from the couple of demons Willie had quoted, no one had seen Buffy at all.
 
He was leaving the Pizza Shack, a place crawling with demon employees--in some cases, literally--when he ran into a familiar face.  "Cardboard!  Fancy seein' you here.  In for a slice, are you?"
 
Riley glared at the vampire he most hated and resisted reaching for his tazer.  He had decided to stop by the joint for exactly that and didn't have backup with him.  "Out of my way, Spike.  Just be glad I'm in a good mood and I don't call for you to be picked up.  Demons are illegal, if you hadn't heard."
 
"What about Slayers?" Spike looked menacing, even though Riley knew he was still chipped.
 
"What do you mean?"
 
"I mean Buffy's missing."  Spike tilted his head and gave a piercing look at the soldier who once professed to love her.  "Wouldn't know anythin' 'bout that, would you?"
 
"Maybe she finally got sense enough to steer clear of filth like you."
 
Spike growled softly.  "Even if she did, she's still missin'.  None of her friends or Dawn have a clue.  Went out on patrol last night and never came back.  Sure you don't have any ideas?"
 
Riley stared at the vampire and had several ideas, not all of them involving Buffy.  "Really too busy now to keep track of one little girl who can't keep out of trouble."
 
"That little girl has more power in her little finger than you ever had, even jacked up with Walsh's drugs.  Hated that, didn't you?" Spike sneered.
 
"Lots of things I hate and pretty much top of the list is you, Spike.  I'm going to do you a favor one time only and let you keep looking.  If I see you around again, you'll be back in a glass cell so fast your head will spin, got that?"  Riley pushed into Spike’s space and loomed over him.  "You are nothing.  You are a demon and I can do anything I want to you and likely get a medal for it.  Don't push your luck, vampire."  He shoved Spike against the brick wall and then moved past him into the pizza parlor.
 
Spike closed his eyes as he realized his accusation against Riley wasn't too farfetched.  "Wouldn't put it past the bastard to have Buffy locked up somewhere.  Maybe tryin' to deprogram her or some nonsense." 
 
Spike debated following Finn to see if the weird thought was possible.  He hadn't thought about that possibility among all the more unpleasant ideas everyone, including himself, had come up with.
 
He decided it might be better to get in touch with Giles than to try to handle Finn on his own.  Perhaps the Watcher had contacts that might have a better chance of finding out if the rejected soldier boy had some reason to be in Sunnydale.  Last they had heard, he had left town after the break-up.  Xander and Riley had been friends of sorts; maybe the boy knew something and hadn't made a connection.
 
"You the vampire looking for the Slayer?"  The frail-looking Kwaini spoke so quietly that it took a vamp to hear her.  "I saw her last night.  She nearly fell over me when I was picking up a bag I had dropped.  She let me go, told me to find someplace safe to hide.  Said there were lots of humans out looking for people like me and it was dangerous."  The girl lowered her eyes.  "She was nice.  Never expected the Slayer to be so nice."
 
"She is that," Spike agreed.  "Where'd you see her and when, and what happened to her after?"  Finally, a lead!
 
"It was on the sidewalk just outside of the Restview Cemetery about ten o'clock.  I didn't want to be on the streets at that time, but my daughter is sick and I had to get her medicine.  I was very frightened and trying to stay away from all the humans."
 
"Yeah," Spike agreed.  Restview!  His own neighborhood.  Had she gone to the bolt holes he'd shown her because of all the idiots out looking for trouble?
 
"Did you see where she went?"
 
"No, sorry.  I was in a big hurry to get home to my girl."
 
Spike decided to give the tunnels and caves a quick look before bothering Giles with his far-out theory about Riley.  "Maybe I'll find her sleepin' safe and sound in one of the caves.  Hard to tell time in there.  I'll have to find some way to work some electricity into one or two in case any of the rest have to hide out some day." 
 
***
 
Buffy opened her eyes and tried to raise her head.  The room was blindingly white and her body was not responding to her attempts to move it.  As her head began to clear a bit, she realized that she was restrained and, she guessed, fairly heavily drugged.  Nothing felt right. 
 
"It's an organic compound of muscle relaxants and adrenal suppressors. The effect is temporary. It's been used for generations during the Tento di Cruciamentum on our Slayers to test their mettle."  Travers sneered as he looked through the one way glass looking into the holding cell.  "You can test those Slayer qualities in their normal form as soon as it wears off, if you wish.  Miss Summers can be quite a handful, I warn you.”