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I Would Still Have Loved You by slaymesoftly
 
Two
 
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CHAPTER TWO
 
When Buffy turned to walk toward him, a freed Spike right behind her, Giles grew pale and then red again as his temper rose. He drew in his breath with a hiss when Spike put his hands on Buffy’s shoulders and leaned in to say, “Best make it quick, love. I think he’s about to lose it.”
 
“Buffy, step away from Spike. Spike, take your hands off my slayer.”
 
He clutched his stake again, blanching when Buffy tilted her face up to Spike’s and smiled as she whispered back to him. Spike’s deep chuckle only made Giles’s face even paler.
 
 “Buffy! Are you under some sort of spell?”
 
“No, Giles, that won’t happen for another day or two—but we do have something to tell you, so you should probably sit down.”
 
“I think I shall remain standing, if you don’t mind,” he said stiffly, holding the stake in his hand in the manner of someone who’d ended more than one vampire’s existence.
 
“Fine, we’ll sit then.” Buffy walked to the couch, followed by Spike, who kept a wary eye on Giles and his stake.  They sat down, close enough to be obviously sitting together, but not close enough to give Giles anything to complain about.  He followed their progress with a hard stare, then swore under his breath and sat in the chair opposite them.
 
“This had better be extremely good,” he said, his cold expression as much for Buffy as Spike. “I’m trusting there is an explanation for this inexplicable behavior on your part, Buffy.”
 
“Do you want the whole long story from the beginning, or just the bottom line?”
 
“Tell me what I need to know. You can fill in details and answer questions later.”
 
“Okay. Well, as far as what I’m doing is concerned…. If you think Spike, who you hardly know yet, seems different, I can’t believe you haven’t noticed anything different about me. My hair? My face? Do I look like the eighteen-year-old girl I was a month or so ago?”
 
“Well you certainly aren’t acting like her,” he said, letting his arm drop to his side but keeping his grip on the stake. “And I hardly try to keep track of your hairstyles…” He stared at her for several minutes, allowing himself to really see and acknowledge for the first time that the girl in front of him was thinner, more worn-looking, and much more self-confident than the nervous freshman girl he’d been used to. “Are you not Buffy, then? Are you some sort of shape shifter, or a robot—” Spike’s cough and Buffy’s subsequent elbow to his ribs interrupted him.
 
“I am Buffy. But I’m Buffy from 2003. You… future you… sent me back here to prevent something really bad from happening, but I think the spell got messed up. I shouldn’t be here till sometime next year.”
 
“And William the Bloody? Why are you so willing to trust him? And why is he so free with his hands around you?”
 
“You’re on, Spike. Make it good.”
 
“Right. So here’s the really odd part of this—”
 
“More odd than Buffy’s having been sent back in time? Which, by the way, until I learn more about it, I am only potentially accepting as the truth.”
 
“Well, it’s a bit along the same lines, actually. I was sent back from that same year, but by Angel and one of his minions.”
 
“Angel has minions?  Dear lord, has he lost his soul again, then?”
 
“Lost it a couple of times if I understood some of the talk,” Spike muttered, but at Buffy’s “Spike! Don’t call them minions” he shook his head. “But not this time. He’s all souled up and trying to prevent the same thing you… future you… sent Buffy back to prevent.  Wes is his go-to guy for magic. Being an ex-watcher and all…”
 
Giles shook his head. “Wesley Wyndham-Price is working with Angel?”
 
“And so’s Cordelia and some other people I don’t really know very well,” Buffy said. “The point is, Spike got sent back here to prevent the same thing I was sent back for. But neither one of us knew the other one was going to be here, so we have a lot of catching up to do while we figure out how to do it.”
 
“I understand sending a slayer of Buffy’s caliber back here, but what are you expected to do about this really bad thing?” Giles almost sneered at the vampire.
 
“I’m here to kill a hell-god’s human host if that’s what needs doing,” Spike said, his flat stare daring Giles to argue about it.
 
“Dear Lord,” Giles repeated, the stake falling from his nerveless fingers.  “You’ve been sent back to kill someone.”
 
“So the Slayer doesn’t have to,” Spike reminded him. “And it’s the human host of a hell-god that wants to open a portal and go home without shutting the door behind her. Don’t get all dainty on us, Watcher. Future you had the same idea—he just wanted Buffy to get you or me, or even the big poof to do it if she wouldn’t. ”
 
Giles rose to his feet and somewhat unsteadily walked toward the kitchen. “I believe I require a drink.”
 
“I’ll take some of that Glenfiddich, if you don’t mind.”
 
“I do mind.” He hesitated, then sighed. “But if you’ve really just arrived from some future time, I imagine you could use a drink also.” He glared at Spike over his shoulder. “Shall I attribute your knowledge of what I have in my cabinet to your having some experience with it?”
 
Spike smirked at him, but didn’t respond. Giles poured two glasses of scotch and carried both the glasses and the bottle back into the living room. He set the bottle down and handed Spike one of the glasses.
 
Giles took a large swallow of his drink, before saying, “I believe I’m going to need to hear those details now. From both of you.  Buffy, you go first.”
 
When Buffy had finished her brief recital of the following year’s events, culminating in her dive off the tower, Giles was on his second glass of scotch. He glanced at Spike, who was sitting quietly and sipping from his own glass. “You were helping her then? And she still had to jump?” Spike’s ashamed expression and whispered “Promised to protect the Bit, but I failed” made him blink in surprise.
 
“You did what you could,” Buffy said, rubbing his arm and leaning into him briefly. “We’ve been over this. It was what it was. Not your fault.”
 
Giles tried to ignore the obvious affection in Buffy’s tones and actions as he focused on what she’d said about jumping off a tower and into an open portal.
 
“You look surprisingly healthy for someone who, if I’m understanding you correctly, has jumped through a magic portal suspended some distance in the air.”
 
“I died, Giles,” Buffy said without inflection as she turned her attention back to him. She waited for him to digest her words.  “I died to close that portal, and you guys buried my body in a back corner of Restfield,”
 
Giles looked at Spike for verification and the anguished look on the vampire’s face told him Buffy wasn’t lying.
 
“And yet, here you are,” Giles whispered, making no attempt to hide his awe. 
 
“And yet, here I am,” Buffy said, her expression as blank as she could make it. But Giles hadn’t been her watcher for almost four years not to be able to read her face as memory overtook her for a moment.
 
“And not happy about it,” he guessed.  Buffy shook her head, then sighed and smiled.
 
“I wasn’t. Not for a long time. I was done, you know? At peace. In Heaven, I think. I’m okay now — not looking to go back anytime soon, but at first? Yeah, not a happy back-from-the-dead Buffy.”
 
“Dare I ask how you are here now? Surely I didn’t attempt to resurrect you?” He glared at Spike. “Did you—“
 
“Not an idiot, Watcher. I know better than to mess with those magics. Not saying I wasn’t glad to see her back, or that the months she was gone weren’t the worst of my unlife, but would never have done that to her. Spent a good bit of that year after she got dragged out of Heaven makin’ sure she wasn’t going to find her way back there. Never want to see her that off her game or that miserable again.” He shook his head. “It wasn’t me.”
 
“So who was it?”
 
Buffy and Spike exchanged silent communication before Buffy responded. “I don’t think I should tell you. We’re hoping we can change things so there’s no reason for it this time around, and there’s no point in having you be mad at anybody for something they haven’t done.”
 
“If we think you need to know, one of us will tell you,” Spike said, resting his arm across the back of the couch behind Buffy and earning a glare from Giles.
 
“And how exactly does William the Bloody, who the last time I checked was trying to kill you, figure into all this? And what gives him the right to make statements like that?”
 
“He earned that right when he burned up saving the world from the First Evil,” Buffy said in a tone of voice than indicated she would tolerate no argument.
 
After Giles had choked at that comment and refreshed his drink again, he glanced at Spike.
 
“And did the same person bring you back from the ashes?”
 
Spike shook his head. “Nope. The amulet that used my body and soul to destroy an army of Ubervamps captured my essence and sent it to the big poof. Popped out of the bloody chunk of jewelry in his big, fancy new office. Was all ghostly for a while, but no sooner did I get a real body back than they decided I was just the sucker they needed to send back in time to stop the hell bitch before Buffy had to jump.”
 
“Your body and soul? I presume that’s just an expression…?” 
 
Buffy shook her head.
 
“Nope. He has a soul – a soul he fought for and won… for me.”
 
“I’m obviously missing a great deal of your history,” Giles said with a wry twist to his mouth.
 
“Some of it,” Spike agreed, allowing his hand to drop onto Buffy’s shoulder. “Some of it’s none of your business.”
 
“Quite,” Giles said with an offended sniff.
 
“Anyway, Giles. That’s the sitch just now. It looks like we both got sent back by ex-watchers to see to it that I don’t have to die… or, if I do somehow, that I’m not resurrected.” She glanced at Spike. “Those are your orders, aren’t they – not to let me be brought back?”
 
Ignoring Giles, Spike cupped Buffy’s cheek and nodded. “They are. And if that’s what I have to do, I will. But as soon as I know the world’s safe, I’ll be joining you in the afterlife. I may have to watch you die twice, but I’m not gonna live without you again. Not with knowin’ it’s permanent this time.”
 
“No you won’t, drama queen. You’ll still have to take care of Dawn for me.” She leaned into his hand, holding it against her cheek. “Let’s just go with stopping Glory, ‘K?”
 
“If I might interrupt this touching scene…” Giles’s voice didn’t really indicate a reluctance to do so, but Buffy answered him anyway.
 
“What is it?”
 
He addressed his question to Spike. “If you have instructions not to resurrect Buffy, does that mean Wesley believes it was her resurrection that triggered the rise of the First Evil?”
 
“He does. And apparently so do you a few years from now, since you sent Buffy back to find a way to stop Glory and keep herself alive.”
 
“Bloody hell…” Giles slumped back in his chair and stared into his glass.
 
“Sums it up as well as anything,” Buffy said. “The thing is, we don’t know why we ended up here. Now. Over a year before we have anything to worry about. I mean, obviously whatever we do to keep her from opening that portal is going to change things in the future… our future…” She clenched Spike’s hand that was holding on her hers just as tightly.  “But if we have to get through all of this year without changing anything….”
 
“We’ve already blown that, love. Just by being here. And now that we’ve told Rupert who we are, we’ve really changed things. Not to mention, my history with the soldiers. Haven’t had any interaction with them yet except for that dustup in your dorm. It’s just going to get harder and harder to do things exactly the same way… even if we can remember it all. Which we probably can’t. It’s not like there haven’t been a few more bloody memorable events in our lives from here on out.”
 
Giles lifted his head and stared at them. “I hadn’t even considered that aspect of it. You dare not change anything!“  He looked at their skeptical faces and groaned. “Even something small… so small you don’t have any memory of what you said or did before… You could change everything.”
 
“It’s why we’re here, Giles. To change things.  Even if it means we—” She turned to face Spike.
 
“Even if it means we don’t have a future together…” Spike whispered, leaning in to her.  They touched foreheads for a second, then sighed and separated. Buffy met Giles’s frown with her own serious expression.
 
“I know we’ll be changing things. The least disruptive thing would be to let everything play out the way we know it will… but… I don’t think I can do that. Not when my mom—”
 
“We’re going to find a way to change that, love. I promise you. If I have to monitor her blood flow 24/7, we’re going to change it.”
 
Buffy shook her head. “If it’s changeable. The doctors said it was almost instantaneous. Even if you were there and caught it happening, who knows if it would make a difference?”
 
“Docs could put her on blood thinners. We’d just have to convince them and her that there was a good reason for it.”
 
“Buffy? Does all this mean something happens to Joyce?”
 
Giles’s expression showed his genuine concern for Buffy’s mother, and she gave him a sad smile, her eyes brimming with unshed tears.  “It does… did… will? I don’t know. And I don’t know if we can stop it. But we don’t have to worry about it yet, anyway. That’s next year too.”
 
“The big problem right now, is how do two people who know everything that’s going to happen for the next year, good and bad, not bugger it all up before the hell-bitch gets here?”  Spike put his arm around Buffy and gave her a supportive squeeze, but his eyes were on Giles.
 
Giles nodded his head. “Let me do some research on what little is known about time travel. Obviously you have already changed things in some rather important ways simply by being here and working together rather than trying to kill each other. Is there anything else I should know?”
 
Spike glanced at Buffy, who muttered, “Tell him.”
 
“I lied about being captured and chipped by the soldiers. That did happen in our time, and that’s why I was here. But I wasn’t about to let them practice vivisection on me this go round, and don’t want to be unable to help Buffy when the Renaissance Rejects get here. So I stayed out of the Intiative’s way this time, and they’ll have to use their chip on some other poor bugger. Was gonna play it out, but now that I know Buffy is my Buffy, I don’t have to pretend.”
 
“So, you can bite and kill?” Giles looked like he was regretting dropping the stake.
 
“Can. Will if I have to. Won’t if I don’t. The soul isn’t quite as restrictive as feeling like my head’s gonna explode, but it generally gets the job done.”
 
“Buffy, how can you trust him? This is clearly not the harmless creature he was at this point in your time.”
 
“I trust him because I’ve had years to learn that I can. Long before he got the soul, and after he lost the chip.”  She stood up and stretched. “I guess I’d better get back to the dorm and see if I have to do anything tomorrow. I really don’t remember much about this school year. It was so long ago.”  She nudged Spike with her foot. “And we need to find you a place to live – unless you liked it so much in Giles’s bathtub that you want to stay…”
 
Giles interrupted Spike’s growl. “Not that I’m planning to force you back into the chains you say you wore, but I do think it best if you remain here until we can sort out what it is and is not safe for you to do. Buffy can go about her normal days, but if my home is where you were at this time, we’d best keep it that way for a while.”
 
“Suppose you’re right at that. In our time, I was a prisoner here… except for during the spell…”
 
“Spell?”
 
“Oh God,” Buffy said, falling back onto the couch. “Are we going to let it happen?”
 
“Let what happen?” Giles looked like he was losing his temper again. “Would you care to enlighten the non-time-traveling party as to what spell you are referring to?”
 
“That’s just going to be changing more things if we tell you,” Buffy said. “But if we don’t… everybody’s going to have to go through the same stuff.”
 
“If she doesn’t get all brassed off at everyone, it might be okay.”
 
“Or, she’ll do the spell anyway and say completely different things and we won’t know what’s going on.”
 
“Or that.” Spike slumped back beside her. “Let’s see what the watcher thinks.”
 
“The watcher would love to have enough information to have any thoughts at all,” Giles grumbled. “Who is ‘she’ and what spell are you talking about?”
 
“The witch. She buggers it up, as usual.” He subsided when Buffy glared at him.
 
“Willow’s really, really unhappy about losing Oz.  And she did a spell to make her will be done. She thought it didn’t work because Oz didn’t show up, but it turned out everything she said after that happened. She said you can’t see anything because you don’t notice how miserable she is, and you went blind. She said Xander was a demon magnet because he was spending so much time with Anya instead of her, and he was chased by demons all night.”
 
“And you?” Giles groaned as Buffy and Spike exchanged heated looks and smiles.  “Oh, again, dear lord.”
 
“Relax, Giles. She just got mad that I was looking for Spike – because he got loose and ran out of here – and she told Xander I should just marry him.  So we were engaged for several hours while you were blind and Xander was dodging demons. It’s no biggie. We had it better than anyone else. At least we were happy.”
 
“Willow? Willow was able to do a “My Will Be Done” spell? And it worked?”
 
“Oh yeah. It worked. And Anya’s old boss D’Hoffryn tried to recruit her. He said it was one of the best vengeances he’d ever seen from an amateur. But she felt bad because she hadn’t really meant to wish all those things on us, so she broke the spell and we were all back to normal.”
 
“Some of us were back to normal,” Spike muttered too low for Giles to pick up his words. “Some of us had to try to walk back with very tight pants.”
 
Buffy blushed and shushed him, but she smiled as she did it.
 
“So that’s the thing – do we let her do the spell? Do I try to stop her before she does it, or do we just try not to say anything to make her mad?”
 
“Surely she didn’t intend to cause spontaneous engagements or endanger Xander or myself?”
 
“I think she just wanted Oz back. But it didn’t do that.”
 
“No doubt she didn’t realize she had to actually say what she wanted to make it happen. Spells like that are very literal. It would work her will only when she specifically said something should happen.”  His eyes went wide. “That’s a very dangerous spell in the wrong hands… and Willow’s would appear to be the wrong ones.  I believe we should try to prevent her from doing it.”
 
“How? I don’t know when she did it. And I can’t make Oz come back from wherever he went... Tibet or someplace like that.”
 
“When do we have to worry about this spell?”
 
Buffy bit her lip. “Um….” She glanced at Spike with a raised eyebrow.
 
“Probably any time now,” he said. “The reason I got loose was because I wasn’t in the tub yet and Rupert here dropped the key to the chains he put on me. Couldn’t have been more than a day or so from now.” He frowned. “Could be tonight even, come to think of it. We just didn’t know about it until things started happening to everybody.”
 
“Oh boy….” Buffy jumped to her feet. “I’ve got to get to the dorm. Maybe I can talk her out of it.”
 
“I don’t think it was tonight, pet. Now that I think about it. She’d had another day to feel bad before anything happened to anybody, didn’t she?”
 
“Well, she could have done it tonight, and just waited until tomorrow to decide it didn’t work.” Buffy looked at Giles. “When were you planning to work with her on magic?”
 
“Tomorrow.” He gave a deep sigh. “We agreed she’d come here in the morning as there are no classes during the holiday.”
 
“But she didn’t, did she? That’s why you went to our room and pissed her off and she said you couldn’t see anything. And it was just after dark when you called and said Spike was loose and she said it would only take me a few minutes to find him… and it did. So she must do the spell tonight. I need to stop her.”
 
“You shouldn’t let her know you know what she’s going to do – you’d have to explain how, and the fewer people who know about you, the better. At least that is my belief.”
 
“Maybe if I’m just real sympathetic, take her out for ice cream or something, I can make her not want to do the spell.”
 
“Or she’ll do it anyway, and we’ll all have to wear muzzles until it wears off or she ends it.”  Spike snorted his disbelief.
 
Giles cleared his throat. “Perhaps we should allow her to do her spell, but gently hint that she be very careful what she says while it is in effect? If I approach her more sympathetically than I apparently did in your time, I may be able to get her to admit what she’s done and break the spell before anything else can happen.”
 
Buffy looked dubious, but nodded. “So, you want me to let her do it?”
 
“I think you should. I will be more cautious in voicing my concern about her missing a training session and perhaps I will be able to retain my vision and her trust.”
 
“And maybe she’ll even show up for her lesson this time if I’ve been able to cheer her up.”
 
Spike rose to his feet and put his arms around her in a loose embrace. “Was kind of looking forward to our first night together being more like our last one.” 
 
Buffy smiled but shook her head. “Yeah. Me too. But we wouldn’t have been spending the night together if we weren’t… us… so I think we’d better stay where we’re meant to be.  Anyway, just because you know to stay away from Riley and his guys this time, that doesn’t mean you’re in no danger. You’re just another vamp to them, and now you won’t know when to worry about them sneaking up on you. You’re safe here.”
 
Spike growled at hearing Riley’s name, but shrugged his acceptance. “Point taken, pet. Although now that I know what to watch for, I think they’d have a harder time catching me off guard.”
 
“Humor me, okay?  I don’t want to have to pull off a rescue mission when I’m not even supposed to know about that place yet….”
 
“All right, love.” He ignored Giles’s audible gasp and kissed her thoroughly. “You go sleep in your little dormitory bed and I’ll stay here and annoy Rupert.”  As she started to pull away, he held on to her hands. “But no shagging the big lump, yeah?”
 
“Oh my God. Riley. What am I going to do about him?  This is getting more complicated by the second—” She stopped and glared at him. “And don’t be stupid. Of course I won’t. We were barely just beginning to date now, so I just won’t… but if I don’t date him, he won’t take me into the lab…Gah!”
 
“What’s a Riley?” Giles asked, frowning as they were once again talking about things he knew nothing about.
 
“Spike can fill you in on Riley and the labs… and Adam. I guess since we’re here early enough, we should try to shut that down too. Maybe the two of you can figure out how to do it.  I’m going to go give Willow a sympathetic shoulder to cry on and help her trash men.”
 
Both men stood watching her wave as she went out the door, then turned to look at each other.
 
“Riley? Adam? Place she shouldn’t know about?”
 
Spike sighed and poured himself more scotch. “Have a seat, Watcher. There’s things you need to know.”
 
 
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