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I Would Still Have Loved You by slaymesoftly
 
Chapter Three
 
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CHAPTER THREE
 
When Spike had finished covering what he knew of the Initiative and its mission, as well as the weapon being created there, he leaned back and drained his glass.
 
“So, that’s what happened in our timeline. Probably in everybody’s best interest, not to let Frankenstein even get close to waking up, but I’ve got no idea when that happened.  Buffy may know more about that – at least she can narrow it down for us. If he never wakes up, she doesn’t have to risk her life fighting him. Gonna change a lot, though. For one thing, that bloody sadist that runs the place won’t be killed by her own monster, so she might just pick up stakes and try again elsewhere.”
 
Giles sighed heavily. “If I could get to someone in the Council… without actually telling them about you and Buffy…. they could probably exert some pressure. If it’s a secret organization, one must assume those from whom it is a secret would like to be made aware of it.”
 
“If the Council of Wankers learn about Buffy and me, they’ll want to lock us up somewhere to give them chapter and verse of what happen over the next several years. You know that as well as I do.”
 
“I do.” He sighed again and poured himself another drink, squinting at the almost empty bottle. “Have you been filling your glass when I wasn’t looking?”
 
Spike grinned at him and poured the remaining scotch into his own glass. “I believe you can take just as much credit for that empty bottle as I can, Rupert. I’ve no doubt the alcohol makes the things I’m telling you go down better.”
 
Giles shook his head. “I suspect I will wake up tomorrow and hope this is all just a drunken dream.”
 
“You want Buffy to jump off that tower next year?”
 
“No, no, of course not. But deciding what to let you change, and what not…. No matter what we do, your lives are going to have a very different trajectory. You do realize that?”
 
“I do,” Spike said grimly. “Fully aware that if Buffy doesn’t have to die, and doesn’t get brought back by her ignorant—“ He caught himself, but not soon enough.
 
“By her ignorant…. ?” 
 
Spike tried to ignore him and continued, “I know if that doesn’t happen, that she and I might never have the relationship we have now. Hell, I might not even have the soul… “ He took a deep swallow of his remaining scotch. “I understand the risk, and so does Buffy. Not much we can do about it. Preventing the First Evil from becoming as powerful as it did when those dark magics got used is more important.”
 
Giles raised a skeptical eyebrow.
 
“Well, not to me, obviously. Nothing’s more important to me than being with Buffy – but it’s more important to her. And with no way of knowing what the future would hold…  If the First rose and there was no Buffy here to fight it….” Spike met Giles’s somewhat bleary gaze firmly.  “Without her, the world would be a very nasty place for humans. Buffy is the best slayer that ever lived. And one hell of a woman, to boot.” He raised his glass in a toast and drained it.
 
“Reckon you ought to stumble off to bed,” he said to Giles, who’d barely been able to raise his glass for Spike’s toast.  “Tomorrow could be a long day if Buffy can’t cheer Red up enough to keep her from wanting to rule the world.”
 
“I’m quite sure Willow only meant to get her boyfriend back. Ruling the world is—”
 
“Listen to me, Watcher. This spell is only the beginning of Willow’s taste of powerful magic. She likes that taste. Trust me, you don’t want her getting any stronger unless you know she’s willing to take instruction.”
 
Giles rose to his feet, staggering slightly. “You will have to go into more detail about that with me tomorrow. Right now, I don’t think my brain can accept any more information.” He paused on his way to his bedroom. “You are welcome to my guest room for the night,” he said. “I see no reason to keep you in chains unless we have to so as not to give it away.”
 
“’Preciate that, Watcher,” Spike said with a smirk. “But just so you know? The only one can decide if I need to be chained is Buffy. Not gonna be your decision to make this time around.”
 
“Quite,” Giles muttered as he disappeared into his room. “No decision making for me.”
 
Spike frowned as his hearing picked up Giles’s words and he wondered if they were going to have to coddle his feelings in an effort to keep him on their side.
 
 
XXXXXXX
 
 
Buffy entered the dorm room cautiously, wondering if Willow would even be there.  She was, lying on her bed and staring at the ceiling. She sat up and wiped her eyes as Buffy came in.
 
“Oh. Hi, “she said, her voice ragged and dull.
 
“Oh, Wills. I left you here by yourself, didn’t I?  I’m so sorry. Giles had things he wanted to talk to me about, and we were questioning Spike, and I had dishes to wash, and—”
 
“It’s okay, Buffy. I get it. You have a busy life. I’m fine.”
 
“No,” Buffy said softly as she came over and sat beside Willow. “You’re not fine. Why would you be? Oz is your first love and he’s gone. You have every right to be unhappy for as long as you want.  I’m just sorry my night job means I can’t be here with you all the time.  But hey, I’m here now.  Why don’t we go get some ice cream?”
 
“Buffy, it’s 11:00 on a week night.”
 
“But it’s Thanksgiving. We don’t have classes tomorrow. We can go to bed late and sleep as late as we want tomorrow.”
 
“I appreciate the thought. Really I do. But I think I’m just going to go to sleep now. You probably should too, don’t you think?  You’re not planning to patrol tonight are you?”
 
“Huh? Oh. No. No patrol tonight. I figure slaying all those ghosty Indians and the couple of morons I staked on the way here is more than enough for a holiday.” Buffy bit her lip.  “So, you just want to sleep? No best-friend time or man-trashing ice cream time?”
 
“No. Sleep is good. I like sleep.  I’ll talk to you tomorrow, ok? Maybe we’ll have ice cream then.”
 
“Okay. If you’re sure. I could use some sleep I guess.”
 
“See. That’s what we need. Lots of sleep.”
 
“Right. We’ll just sleep…  both of us….” Buffy shrugged and went about getting ready for bed, noting when she came back from brushing her teeth that Willow was already in bed with her back turned to the room.  Buffy got into bed, thought for a while about Spike and the fact that he was not dead and went to sleep with a smile on her face.
 
XXXXXXXX
 
The smile didn’t last in the morning when she woke up to find Willow gone and a book on spells peeking out from under her pillow.  When she opened it to find the page on “My Will Be Done” spells bookmarked, she groaned.  She called Giles just in case Willow had gone to meet with him, but he said he hadn’t seen or heard from Willow.
 
“Do you think she did the spell, then?”
 
“I dunno. The page looked pretty well used, and it was a little bit charred on one corner. Smells like smoke.”
 
“Dammit!”
 
“Yeah. So, first recommendation is that you don’t come here looking for her, so she can’t get mad at you.  And there’s no reason for Spike to try to escape tonight, so she won’t have to tell me it won’t take long to find him… I guess we’ll just have to hope we can get to Xander before she has a chance to call him a demon-magnet, or tell him Spike and I should get married.”
 
“That will help us avoid the things that happened in your time, but if the spell is in effect, we don’t know what else we might accidentally wish upon ourselves,” he pointed out. “Perhaps, better the devil we know? If I don’t anger her to the point of cursing me with blindness, perhaps I can get her to rethink the spell and end it of her own accord.”
 
Buffy frowned. “I guess it’s worth a shot. If that’s what you want to do. I need to talk to Spike today, so I’ll be over in a little while.”
 
Buffy ran to shower and dress, sighing when she found signs that someone had burned something in one of the shower stalls. She picked up a familiar-looking candle and said, “Oh, Willow. I know how you feel. I should have paid more attention to you.”  She put the candle with her things and quickly showered and dressed.  Willow was still absent when she went back to their room, so Buffy left to grab some coffee and food before heading to Giles’s apartment. She left the spell book and candle out on the bed, hoping it would still be there when Giles showed up to talk to Willow.
 
 
XXXXXXXX
 
Buffy was still munching her breakfast sandwich when she tried the door and found it locked.  She frowned and knocked impatiently, blinking in surprise when it was opened by Spike, who was halfway hiding behind it to avoid the sun’s morning rays.
 
“Mornin’, love,” he said with a smile.
 
“Hi. You’re up early.” She looked around as he shut the door. “Where’s Giles?”
 
“He said he had some errands to run before he goes to find the witch, so he left me in charge.”
 
“He said that, did he?” Buffy laughed at Spike’s mock offended growl.
 
“Well, he would have if he had any sense.“  He put his arms around her and pulled her into an embrace that was just a bit too tight to be a hug between friends. “But you and me have more important things to talk about.”
 
Buffy reached her arms around his neck and moved even closer. “We do? What would those things be?”
 
“The first and most important thing would be how we haven’t had a chance for a decent snog since we got here.”
 
Buffy was still nodding her agreement when he fastened his mouth on hers. The kiss was tentative at first, as befitted two people who’d been through so many ups and downs in their relationship, but when Buffy participated enthusiastically, Spike deepened the kiss. 
 
It was soon obvious that standing just inside the now-closed door was not working out for either of them. The proof of Spike’s happiness to have her in his arms was pressed against her stomach, and Buffy’s own libido was responding to the kisses she’d never really allowed herself to miss. The last of her sandwich was forgotten and left where it fell. They stumbled toward the couch, still glued together at the mouth, and fell onto it.
 
“Missed you so bad,” Spike murmured into her neck as he paused to let her take in more air. “Missed this. Soul told me I had no right to even think about it, but I couldn’t stop wanting you.” He raised his head to see her reaction to his words.
 
Buffy gave him a sad smile. “It was just too… so many things were going on last year. I wanted you to be there, with me, but I told myself I had to concentrate on setting a good example and winning the battle, so I couldn’t….” She leaned back to meet his gaze. “I wanted to. But you were so fragile at first, and then we… platonic just seemed like the way to go.”
 
“It was.”  He pressed himself against her, smiling when she opened her legs so he could slide his hips between them. “But you know I don’t have a lot of control over some body parts.”
 
“Your blood doesn’t always rush in the direction of your head,” she quoted with smile.
 
He snorted. “You remember that, do you?”
 
Her expression changed and she said with perfect seriousness, “I remember everything you said to me that night. You were my inspiration for getting the scythe, my courage to face Caleb again, and my rock when I wasn’t sure I was doing the right thing.” She brought one hand up to stroke his face. “I remember it,” she repeated. Snapping out of it, she wriggled against him. “I guess we know which head it went to now, don’t we?”
 
“The question is, is the Watcher going to be gone long enough for us to do anything about it?”
 
Buffy sighed and nuzzled his neck. “I don’t know. We need to find you a place to live so we can have some privacy. I don’t want you back in that crypt – it’s too easy for anything to find it and get in.”
 
“I’ll come up with something. I’m going to be a bit smarter about all that treasure in the cave where I found the Gem, maybe I can—”
 
“Oh! I almost forgot about that ring. You should have it.  I won’t worry as much about you if you have it on.”
 
He shook his head and smiled. “Just knowing you worry about me is worth anything that might happen to me.”
 
“I worried about you a lot,” she said, trying to sound miffed. “Lots of times.”
 
“If you say so, love.” He nudged against her again. “Back to the important question – do we have enough time to—”
 
“I don’t know. I know that’s not what you want to hear, and I don’t really want to say it…. mmmmmm…. stop that!”  In spite of her words, she brought her legs up around his hips and pressed her already damp panties against him. “Oh, God. That feels so good… we can’t… but… “   She began rubbing against the hard bulge between her legs. “We really shouldn’t….”
 
“We really should,” he gasped, pressing against her even harder. “Won’t take long – I promise.” He freed one hand and pulled down his zipper, allowing his cock out to seek the spot Buffy was pushing her underwear aside to make available. With matching sighs, they slid together and began to move as if they’d last been together just yesterday.
 
Buffy’s “Oh God, oh God, oh God” was matched by Spike’s declarations of pleasure and love as he pistoned into her. She met him thrust for thrust, and was soon wailing his name as she shuddered around him, feeling his own ejaculation filling her. 
 
They lay together, Buffy recovering her breath, for several minutes before she nudged him. “We need to get up. I need to clean up, and you need to zip up. This Giles might believe who we are, but I don’t think he needs to walk into a scene like this.”
 
He sighed, but reluctantly pulled out and rolled off the couch to land on the floor. “Bloody hell! First thing I’m going buy with that treasure is a real bed!” He zipped himself away and sat up to ogle her still open legs. Instead of standing up he said, “Let me help you out with that cleaning up, pet.”
 
Buffy’s confusion about what he meant was soon ended as he began to lick his spendings off her legs and inner lips.  She was soon whimpering and thrashing around on the couch as he used his tongue and lips to bring her to another orgasm. Giving her a self-satisfied smile, he pulled her panties back into place and her skirt down to cover her legs.
 
“That should hold you for a while,” he said as she continued to loll on the couch.
 
“You look entirely too pleased with yourself,” she said with a lazy wave of her hand and a soft smile that belied her words.  The sound of someone trying to get in the door had her sitting up with a surprised yelp. Spike jumped to his feet and ran to unlock the door for Giles, who was just fishing his key from his pocket.
 
“Sorry, Watcher. Don’t know how that got locked. I know you let the Scoobies pop in and out of here at any time of day.”
 
Looking somewhat disgruntled, Giles entered the room and carried his packages to the kitchen.
 
“I got you some pigs blood from the butcher over on Elm St.,” he said. “I presume you will at some point find your own accommodations…”
 
“Ta, Watcher. I will-did-get myself a place to live. Although first time around I did spend some quality time with Harris when you were having female company.”
 
“Ah yes. Olivia. I’d much rather you were not around when she gets here. I’m hoping to convince her that Sunnydale is just a cheerful little California town – and not—”
 
“And not located over the actual mouth of hell?” Buffy said with a wry smile.
 
“And that,” Giles said, giving her an inquiring look. “Although I suppose it’s going to be too much to hope for?”
 
“Do you really want to know?” Buffy cocked her head and gave him a sympathetic smile.
 
“Apparently not,” he said with a sigh. “I suppose it is important that I know some of what is going to happen this year, as well as how we thwart it. But perhaps you could keep bad news about my love life to yourself.”
 
“We were just starting to talk about that,” Spike said, avoiding Buffy’s embarrassed gaze.  “Not whether or not you should get shagged,” he said with a smirk when Giles turned to glare at him.  “We need to sort out what can and should be changed and what can just play out. I figure the less we change, the better for the future being a place we recognize when we get to it.”
 
“That brings up an interesting question. Are you expected to return to your time of origin when you’ve accomplished your mission?”
 
“Huh. Good question. You – future you – didn’t say. I guess I was kind of thinking I would go back, but—” Buffy frowned. “Nobody actually said they were going to bring me back….”
 
“Didn’t get any promises from Angel or Oxford,” Spike said. “I pretty much figured I was gone for the duration. Since Buffy thought I was dead anyway, it didn’t seem to matter that much if I made it back or not.”  He smiled at her. “Still doesn’t. As long as I’m where she is, don’t give a rat’s ass if it’s back to the future or in this timeline.”
 
“I guess….” Buffy bit her lip as she thought out loud “I guess Spike’s right. It doesn’t really matter as long as we’re together. And if we can fix everything that might kill us between now and then, we’ll eventually be back to 2003 or 2004 anyway. Just not, you know, quite the same 2003. But with fewer dead people, we hope.”
 
Giles shook his head. “I did some reading on time travel this morning, but I cannot honestly say I feel I know any more about it. There seem to be several theories about changing things. One is, of course, that the slightest change affects everything after that and changes things forever. That has already happened just by the very fact that you are here, when that didn’t happen in your time.”
 
“So, we made everything different? Cause you know, the Indians were pretty real, and so was the bear. It was easier to get rid of them because I knew what to do, but they still showed up on time. And it looks like Willow still did her spell.”
 
“As I said, that is one theory. Another theory is that only small changes can be made. Major events are still going to occur as they are meant to, with perhaps only minor differences.”
 
“So, we could get rid of the Indians faster, but they were still going to appear?”
 
“Something like that. It remains to be seen if you will have changed the course of Willow’s spell at all.”
 
“Well, did you see her? Did you make her mad?”
 
“I did. She was angry at me, but I was able to offer her more sympathy than I apparently did in your time, and she did not tell me I was blind. She did say she wasn’t interested in any more training in magic, but I could not get her to admit she’d done the spell. I felt she was getting suspicious and had to drop the subject.”
 
“Well, that’s one good thing. You’re not blind. I don’t think there’s anything important about any of the things she did to us. We’re together anyway — not that she knows that, but if she said we were going to get married, it wouldn’t change anything.  And since I won’t be out looking for Spike, she might not get as mad at Xander for not keeping her company, and she won’t make him a demon magnet.” She looked at Spike with a smile. “And I won’t get the only marriage proposal I’ve ever had.”
 
“Set a date and that’s a done deal, love.” His expression was completely serious.
 
She frowned at him. “That’s not nearly as romantic as the first one.”
 
Rolling his eyes and ignoring Giles’s sputtering, Spike dropped to his knees in front of Buffy and took her hand. He pulled a ring off his finger and said, “Will you marry me, Slayer? Say yes and make me the happiest man in world.”
 
“Oh, Spike.  Of course it’s yes!” She put the ring on her thumb and leaned down to kiss him.
 
“Is it too early in the day for Scotch?” Giles asked no one in particular as he sank into a chair.
 
“Cheer up, Giles. Unless Willow actually says we should get married, we won’t be able to sit around smooching all night like we did before because Xander’s head would explode. So only you will know we’re engaged now.”
 
“Lucky me,” he muttered, meeting Spike’s growl with his own glare. “Tell me again why you think I should trust this creature?”
 
Buffy sighed. “Get over it, Giles. I know you don’t know him well yet, and even if he isn’t as aggravating as he was the first time—” She ignored Spike’s indignant “Hey!” “—you probably won’t get a chance to know him really well until he’s been here a while. But I’ve known him for a long time, and I trust him completely. It took me a long time to get there, but I did. And even when I thought I didn’t, I sort of did – with important things. I sent my mom and sister for him to hide and protect them from Glory, I never took away his invitation to my house that he’s had since he helped me defeat Angelus, and he never took advantage of it to hurt me or my family….”
 
She took a deep breath.  “You know what? I can’t believe I’m doing this. I even had to have this argument with your future self, whose life Spike had probably saved more than once by then. I’m not doing it again. Get. Over. Yourself. I’m the Slayer. And I’ve got four years on you when it comes to fighting evil and preventing apocalypses. I don’t take orders from you, and I won’t have my decisions questioned. Are we clear?”
 
She stood, hands on hips, her glare firmly fixed on Giles’s astonished face. He glared back at her for a few seconds, shifted his gaze to Spike, who was staring at Buffy in open admiration, then back to her. He drew himself up to his full height, noted that neither of the two shorter people in the room seemed to be impressed, and slumped in defeat.
 
“Very well. My apologies, Spike. Buffy is quite right that I am judging you based on only the little bit of information I have to date, whereas she has obviously known and been depending upon you for a much longer period of time. I will do my best to resist my lifelong training and give you a fair chance.”
 
“All we’re askin’ for, Watcher,” Spike said. “But just so you know, I see any sign that you’re working behind my girl’s back… with anybody… and….” He shifted into his vampire mien just long enough to be sure Giles got the message and then dropped back into his human face. Giles stared back and forth between the two of them for a full minute before he nodded. “Whatever it is between you, and however it developed, it is very clear that each of you intends to protect the other at any cost. I cannot quarrel with a relationship of that intensity.”
 
He sat down and with obvious trepidation asked, “Is there some future reason that you felt it was necessary to give such a specific warning, Spike? Something I should perhaps be as wary of as I tried to be about offending Willow – something I find very disturbing, by the way. The idea that Willow is to be feared rather than admired and trained.”
 
Buffy shrugged. “It’s hard to say, Giles. Without knowing what changes, we can’t say ‘don’t do this’ or ‘don’t do that’. I don’t think there’s anything to worry about this year, do you?” She addressed her question to Spike who also shrugged. “Not that I can think of, pet. Of course, I wasn’t around everybody all the time once I got my own place. “ He grinned. “Should we warn him about having drinks with old friends? Or just let him have his fun with the sadistic bitch?”
 
Buffy laughed along with him, sobering when she saw the frown on Giles’s face. “Just a warning about getting too friendly again with Ethan should do it. On the other hand, did you know your glare looks exactly the same even when you’re a Fyral demon?”
 
“He doesn’t—” Giles looked like he might be planning to hunt Ethan down on the spot.
 
“He does, but it’s all okay. Spike speaks Fyral, so he was able to understand you and drive you around looking for Ethan. And I didn’t stab you with real silver, and then I recognized you, so you didn’t get killed, and we made Ethan break the spell.”
 
Giles shook his head and slumped back in the chair. “Is there anything else I should know about magic gone wrong within the next few months?”
 
“Well, it’s not gone wrong, cause it worked and I was able to beat Adam, but you and Willow worked one hell of a spell to stop this year’s apocalypse.”
 
“We used a spell?”
 
“Yeah. Kind of a share the strength thing, so I was strong enough to fight Adam and rip out his power pack. But, if we can stop him from ever waking up, we won’t have to do that. I just have to figure out how to get into that place without, you know, actually... um… dating… Riley.” She slid her eyes sideways at Spike as she stumbled over her words.
 
“I could get in there,” Spike said. “Knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t drink their drugged blood and wouldn’t get that bloody chip in my head. All I’d need to do is find that room and start ripping out wires and tubes.”
 
“You could get in. We can’t be sure you could get out in one piece. They might just dust you if they decided you were going to be too much trouble. And if I’m not Riley’s girlfriend, I probably wouldn’t have any way to get in there to save you. We need to think of something else.”
 
“Didn’t that ugly cow try to kill you? Being Captain Cardboard’s bird didn’t help you much then.”
 
“She did. And then she lied to Riley about it.  But that was just before it all went to hell I think. If I can remember when Riley brought me in and when she sent me out after her pet demons, we’ll know about when Adam woke up. We need to get to him before that happens.”
 
 
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