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I Would Still Have Loved You by slaymesoftly
 
Chapter Twenty-three
 
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CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
 
“Crap,” Buffy muttered. “This isn’t working out.”
 
Willow sighed her agreement. “Nope. Xander’s feeling left out and hurt, and Anya looks like she’s trying to figure out what’s going on. This can’t end well.”
 
There was silence as everyone tried not to be the first to say it. Never one to shirk a chance to tell the truth, Spike said, “The question is, which would make Harris the least dangerous?  Knowing what’s what, so he stops being all offended that he’s not in the know, or leaving him in the dark to get more and more brassed off at all of us?”
 
“Spike, you talk about Xander likes he’s some kind of… of….”
 
“Loose cannon?” Spike said, then sighed. “Boy’s loyal, I know that. And he wants to help. But this year, in our time, he was already feeling a bit neglected and out of your lives—what with the two of you off being all co-ed-like and makin’ new friends and… other friends….” He paused to give Buffy the obligatory growl about Riley, then continued. “I remember I was able to use that back when I—” 
 
Buffy’s painful grip on his arm stopped him before he could finish.  She really didn’t want Giles and Willow hearing how Spike had almost succeeded in driving a wedge between the Scoobies. The less they knew about the evil things he’d done in their time, the easier it would be for her to convince them he was really one of them now.
 
He cleared his throat and concluded, “Well, that’s neither here nor there. Point is, he’s already feelin’ insecure about his place, and we didn’t do such a bang up job of hiding that we have secrets.”
 
Giving Giles a look to remind him what he’d said about Spike having a good brain, Winston said, “I agree with William—Spike. Unless there is some reason to be concerned that Mr. Harris will attempt to change the future on purpose, I suspect he will be more cooperative if he feels he is part of the group.”
 
“Not to mention, Anya looks like she’s trying to figure it out. She knows something’s up. I could tell.”  Buffy glanced at Giles. “Would a vengeance demon know anything about time travel?”
Giles gasped in spite of himself, sharing a look with Winston, who seemed equally surprised.  “Of course she would! How did I—we—overlook that? She may have valuable information to share with us.”
 
“And we can’t bring Anya in without including Xander. She’s really only here because she’s dating him. She has no other reason to hang out with us,” Willow said. “I mean, she wasn’t too crazy about any of us when she first lost her powers. She thought we might have had something to do with losing her amulet.”
 
Winston turned a curious gaze on Giles, who coughed and cleared his throat before answering. “I… um… I suppose that is quite true. I wasn’t particularly welcoming. Although, in my defense, she appears, from what you and she saw later, to have wreaked a terrible vengeance upon all of us by granting a wish for Cordelia. She has not been very forthcoming about how that may have worked out, but she seems quite proud of her former skills at granting vengeances, so….” He trailed off, frowning. “I wonder if she remembers what she did?”
 
“She knows it was her amulet that gave her demonic powers. And that somehow she lost it while trying to grant Cordelia’s vengeance.” Willow looked momentarily guilty as she recalled her own role in causing Cordelia’s anger. “But it all worked out, right? She’s with Xander and she doesn’t miss being a vengeance demon… not much, anyway.”
 
“Well, I see that we will need to bring her into the fold, so to speak. She may be very helpful to us.” Winston paused and looked at Buffy and Spike. “If the two of you agree, of course. It is your secret to share.”
 
Now that Xander was no longer there to be angered by it, Buffy allowed herself to move back to the arm of Spike’s chair and relax into him when he put his arm around her waist.  
 
“What do you think?” They exchanged mostly silent communication while the others in the room waited. After they’d looked into each other’s eyes for a few seconds, Buffy nodded and turned back to the people watching.
 
“I think we’re going to have to do it. We need Anya’s input—if she has any. And we can’t include her without Xander. It might help him be a little less… confused about Spike and me, too.”
 
“Don’t think ‘confused’ is the word you’re looking for, pet,” Spike growled. “You know he never accepted me in your life, even after I got the soul.”
 
“Well, he’s got more time to get used to it now. He might not like it, but he’s just going to have to suck it up.”
 
“Please be sure to share that with him when you tell him,” Giles said in a wry tone. “I’ve no doubt it will go over well.”
 
“Don’t be negative, Giles,” Willow sniffed. “I’m sure Xander will be fine once he understands the situation. I am.”
 
“Not to dispute your assessment, Red, but you’ve never had the hots for Buffy.”  Spike paused and raised an inquisitive eyebrow. “Have you?”
 
“What! No! Don’t be—” Obviously remembering that Spike knew about her and her other relationships, she settled for mumbling, “Buffy is my best friend. That’s all.” Then she glanced at Buffy and said quickly, “Not that you aren’t attractive, but I wouldn’t, I mean I nev—”
 
Buffy laughed while the men tried to hide smiles. “It’s okay, Willow. I know what you’re saying. Spike was just trying to rattle your cage.”  Her relief at seeing Willow so much back to her normal trying-to-please-everyone-self caused Buffy to jump up and give her bewildered friend a hug.
 
XXXXX
 
After leaving Willow to talk with Winston about her letter to herself, Buffy and Spike took his car to Restfield and hid it in what would become its normal place.
 
“You don’t want to keep it at the apartment?”
 
“Nah. It’s too well known in the demon community, and I don’t want to leave it on the street anyway. If and when we need it for something, it won’t take long to pick it up here.”
 
“’K. I guess as long as we’re here, we might as well do a patrol. Maybe check out this cemetery and then hit one or two more on the way to the Bronze? You can get something to drink and I can get some real food.”
 
“You’re singing my song, love.  Do you want to start with that one?”  He pointed to a grave with a hand sticking out and scrabbling for something to hold onto.
 
They strolled over and watched with mild interest as the new vampire dragged himself the rest of the way out of the dirt. Buffy shuddered and clutched her arms around herself as she watched him spitting out dirt and trying to clear it from his eyes.
 
“Not gonna happen this time around, Buffy.” Spike’s soft words indicated he’d correctly read what she was thinking. “You have my word.”
 
She nodded and gave him a small smile. “I know. I’m okay. Better than this guy will be,” she added, leaning over to drive her stake into his chest. His dust settled down on the loose dirt as if he’d never been there.
 
“I changed my mind about patrol. Let’s just head for the Bronze. I have to fight funny looking minions and ugly heart-stealing gentlemen tomorrow night, so tonight I’m taking a break.”
 
“No argument from me,” Spike said taking her hand. “The Bronze it is.”
 
XXXXXXX
 
 
While Spike made his way through several mugs of beer and tapped his fingers along with the music playing in the background, Buffy polished off two, admittedly small, cheeseburgers, her fries (those Spike didn’t steal), and a large Diet Coke. When she’d finished licking the last of the salt from the fries off her fingers, she looked up to see Spike gazing at her with fond amusement.
 
“What?”
 
“Nothing, love. Just like seeing you tuck into your food like that. Always hated it when you pretended you were existing on yogurt and rabbit food.”
 
“I was watching my weight,” she muttered. “Anyway, you didn’t see me when I was putting away ice cream every night.”
 
“I saw you when you were much too thin,” he said. “If I’d thought I could get away with it, I would have tried to make you eat more real food back in the day. Fatten you up a bit.”
 
Buffy narrowed her eyes at him. “You wanted me to be fat?
 
“I wanted you to be healthy and happy. And being as thin as you were then wasn’t making you either one of those things.”
 
“You want me to be fat,” she grumbled. “That’s what you’re trying to say.”
 
Spike sighed and shook his head. “Never seen a fat slayer. Not in all my years as a vamp. You lot must burn up calories faster than you can take them in. I just don’t like seeing you look all worn down like you were by the time we closed the hellmouth, and now you don’t look like that anymore. I like it.”
 
He wriggled his eyebrows at her. “Although, trust me, love, to a man from my time, you could gain another twenty pounds and you’d still be sexy.”
 
“Twenty pounds!” Buffy’s eyes almost bulged from her head.
 
“Not saying you should do it, Slayer. You probably couldn’t if you tried. Just saying, in my day as a human, plump was pretty.”
 
“In your day they didn’t have deodorant or indoor plumbing,” she said, rolling her eyes.
 
“Did too, if you were rich enough. Just not quite as efficient as what we have now.” He leered at her. “There’s a lot to be said for showers that can hold two people at the same time.”
 
“That sounds like a cue to go home… although I had a shower this morning, so I don’t really—”
 
Spike was already on his feet, waiting less than patiently for her to join him.
 
“You look dirty to me,” he said. “Let’s get you home and scrubbed down… or up. Whichever you prefer.”
 
“Hmmmm,” she said as she rose to her feet. “Which do I prefer?  Let me think about this…”
 
As they walked to the door, Buffy spotted Jonathan Levinson lurking near the bar. “Hold on a sec,” she said, walking up to him.
 
“Hi, Jonathan. I’ve got a suggestion for you—forget about the spell to make yourself the big cheese in Sunnydale. It’s going to backfire big time and I’ll have to save your ass. So just don’t do it, okay?  You’re a smart guy and I know you’re going to be successful someday. Maybe in the entertainment industry… You don’t need to cheat to do it.”
 
Jonathan gaped at her. “How did you…. I would never.... I mean, yeah, I thought about it, but—”
 
“Just take that imagination and write stories. But don’t make innocent people have to live one of them. ‘K? Thanks.  Good night!”
 
Spike was chuckling when she joined him. “I’d almost forgotten that little twerp’s adventure into being a big shot.  Think that’ll stop him?”
 
“I hope so. He’s really kind of a nice guy… except for that whole hooking up with Warren thing in a few years…. I forgot about that.”
 
“Ended up dead eventually, didn’t he?”
 
“Yeah. Willow tried to kill him… and Andrew… when she was out to avenge Tara, but it was Andrew who actually killed him after they escaped to Mexico.  The First convinced him he was Warren come back to tell him what to do.”  Buffy shook her head. “Just one of the people who died because of my resurrection.”
 
“Not going to happen this time, love. Hey! I wonder if that’s going to change Andrew’s career plan? He won’t have a reason to turn all evil… and then to crawl back to you looking for forgiveness. So – no hanging out with the Slayerettes, no watcher wannabe for the little twit.”
 
“Just cause I don’t die doesn’t mean Warren isn’t going to try for a nerd takeover of Sunnydale. I think it's early next year that he makes that poor robot who thought he loved her… until he didn’t want her anymore. He was already a sleazeball then.”
 
She glanced sideways at Spike to see if he was going to acknowledge his own venture into sleaziness, but he wisely kept silent and avoided meeting her gaze. She settled for punching him on the arm, well aware that he would know why.
 
He chuckled as he rubbed his arm before putting it around her. “Knew I wasn’t going to get away with ignoring that,” he said, leaning down to nibble on her ear. “But think about it, love. If you hadn’t had a robot to imitate, I probably would have dusted and you never would have known that you could trust me to keep quiet about the bit.”
 
“So you’re saying it was a good idea because it worked out okay for you in the long run?” Her words were belied by the way she leaned into him and he just laughed softly again. He squeezed her shoulders, then released her and stepped away.
 
“What’s wrong?”
 
“Not sure.” He frowned and sniffed the air.  “Just doesn’t feel like we’re alone…”
 
Buffy didn’t question him, just sent her own senses out as she readied herself for any nasty surprises. She relaxed as Riley came striding toward them.
 
“What’s up, Riley?”
 
“Yeah Captain America. You look like man on a mission.”
 
“You might say that, Spike. Or should I say William the Bloody, slayer of slayers. He shifted his gaze to Buffy. “I’m not sure what that makes you. Obviously, if Xander knows what he is, you do too. What I don’t understand is why you haven’t staked him.”
 
“It’s… complicated. And it involves things Xander doesn’t know about yet.” She frowned. “Not that he should be talking to you about Scooby stuff…”
 
“Scooby?”
 
“You had to be there,” Spike snorted. “When they were high school teenyboppers in white hats.”
 
“Which was just last year, wasn’t it?”
 
“Right!” Buffy said, nudging Spike. “Last year, when we were seniors in high school.  But we’ve been the Scoobies since 10th grade.  You know – Scooby-doo, brainy redhead, shaggy-haired boy—”
 
“Ditsy blonde bint….”
 
“Big, stupid dog… that never bites anybody….”  Buffy glared at Spike, hands on hips.
 
“Yeah, yeah. I get it.” Riley rolled his eyes.  “But according to Xander, Spike here, hasn’t been part of your little gang of demon fighters, in fact, he was one of your most vicious opponents until….” Riley frowned at Spike again.  “He says you can’t bite because we… but I’ve never seen you in the lab—not until you came in with Buffy to help ID the demons….”
 
Buffy froze. She was sure her eyes were open so wide they might fall out, but she couldn’t come up with an explanation and she could see Riley fingering his taser.
 
“The boy doesn’t know as much as he thinks he knows,” Spike said, his tone and word choices making it clear what he thought of Xander. “And he’s not doing the Slayer any favors by discussin’ her business with people it doesn’t concern.”
 
“If you’re really a vampire…” Riley frowned, clearly remembering he’d seen Spike walking around in daylight.  “But if you aren’t, why would Xander say so? And why would he think I needed to know?”
 
“Like I said, he’s not as smart as he wants to be, so he’s taking shots in the dark and hoping he’ll hit something big.  We’re going to straighten him out tomorrow night.”
 
“I’d like to be at that meeting,” Riley said stiffly. “They may have shut down our lab, but as far as I know, we still have a mission to keep Sunnydale safe from hostiles and sub-terrestrials. If that includes you, I need to know.”
 
Recovering her voice, Buffy said, as gently as she could, “You really don’t, Riley. All you need to know is that Spike is perfectly safe to be around, and that he works with me to keep the world safe—from anything that could be dangerous, not just vamps and demons. What he is and how he does that just aren’t important for you to know.” She gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile, before turning to leave.
 
“Go home and get a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow might be busy.”
 
Without offering more of an explanation, she began to walk at a brisk pace with Spike taking long strides beside her. Riley watched them go, shaking his head as they quickly disappeared without seeming to hurry. 
 
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