“When you smiled you had my undivided attention. When you laughed you had my urge to laugh with you. When you cried you had my urge to hold you. When you said you loved me, you had my heart forever.” - Anonymous

********************

“What are the chances of us succeeding?” she whispered into the darkness some time later. With Spike holding her, unable to hide his body’s reaction to her nearness, and the looming threat of Sauran and its impact on their returning home safely…well, suffice to say, she wasn’t going to be sleeping anytime soon.

“Spike?”

Buffy turned in his arms to face him. Watched as his jaw clenched as her movements forced his cock flush against her stomach – whether in pain or pleasure, she wasn’t quite sure.

Her hands encountered his bare skin and she couldn’t help running her fingers down his well-defined chest and abs. Swordplay was obviously good for his physique; he’d gained a bit of weight and seemed to have built up a bit more muscle in his upper body.

Not that she’d seen him naked or anything to be able to make a comparison, but she remember Willow’s spell gone wonky. It had taken her weeks, months…oh, who was she kidding? She’d never been able to banish the feel of him from her mind. He’d just seemed to fit; his wiry, compact frame a perfect complement to her own petite form.

Now, as her hands continued their exploration, her mind registered the differences almost eighty years of training had done to him.

“Buffy…” Just her name. Somewhere between a sigh and a plea to never stop. Because for him, this was as close to heaven as he’d ever get.

When her fingers encountered the hardened flesh pressed intimately against her stomach, her eyes widened that he hadn’t worn anything to bed. Her hand closed around him, stroking him from base to tip and back again. If anything, he seemed to swell even more; the growl he made produced an answering ache between her legs.

Steel overlaid in silk, Buffy thought as her hand continued to slowly pump up and down along the length of his shaft. Her past sexual exploits hadn’t allowed for this kind of exploration. With Angel, the encounter had been rife with the bumblings and awkwardness associated with her “deflowering,” and the subsequent pain of his whole “losing the soul” thing. Parker, for all that it had been a one night stand, had marginally expanded her sexual experience; but in hindsight, the pleasure he’d brought her had seemed like some sort of ego trip for him, another thing to brag to the “boys” about. And Riley…well, with him, she’d regressed back to the missionary position; touchie feelies were kept to a minimum, and often she was left wondering what, exactly, the big deal was about sex. With Spike – who appeared in no hurry to go anywhere, or stop what she was doing to him – she seemed able to do whatever came natural to her.

“Pet,” he groaned as her thumb flicked out and captured the few drops of precum that had leaked from the slit, rubbing them in a circular pattern atop the head.

Buffy wanted to taste him, and she started to scoot down the length of the bed when she felt his hands close around her upper arms, halting her progress.

“Buffy? What are you—”

“Shhh…”

A finger to his lips stifled his question, then she was moving again. Sliding down until her eyes were level with his erection. She watched intently as her hand played over his flesh, smiling when it twitched in her palm. Another drop appeared; this time it was her tongue that lapped at the sticky substance. She felt his muscles tense in anticipation and couldn’t prevent the small thrill of power she felt at being able to make him feel like this.

Body strung tight and waiting for her next move.

He didn’t have long to wait as she parted her lips and took him in her mouth.

***********

Heat.

Oh god, the heat.

It seared his flesh and left him begging for more. A guttural moan escaped his lips and his fingers buried themselves in her hair. He forced himself not to move as he lay there on his side, though he wasn’t quite sure how he accomplished it – especially when he wanted nothing more than to thrust his cock into her more than willing mouth.

Her tentative touch was driving him crazy; her discernable inexperience more than made up by her rapacious enthusiasm. That, and the fact that is was Buffy; his slayer’s mouth wrapped around him. His eyes squeezed tight as she figured out how to relax her throat muscles and take him deep in her mouth, almost coming in the instant she swallowed around him.

Spike tried to pull himself free, but the minx just followed.

“Buffy…luv…” he pleaded.

She showed no signs of letting up, was clearly content to let him come in her mouth. But he didn’t want that.

At least not this first time.

He wrenched his cock from her mouth before his “little brain” overrode what sense he had left. Hissing in pain as her blunt teeth grated along his over-sensitized flesh. Spike felt her stiffen in shock at the abrupt maneuver, but he didn’t give her time to protest.

Her flimsy nightgown seemed to shred in his hands leaving her completely exposed to his gaze. His nostrils flared as he caught sight of the twin rosy-hued nipples, hard and calling to his mouth, his hands, like a siren’s song he was powerless to resist. Almost afraid to, as if she’d disappear and he’d wake suddenly and be thrust into the darkness of his own room, Spike lowered his head and sucked one dusky peak into his mouth.

She felt and tasted better than he could have ever hoped to imagine, and he forced his demon back, determined to savor this treat, this gift, as if it may be his last. His tongue flicked over the morsel in his mouth, nipping and sucking as he coaxed it harder still. He felt her arch up into him as she thrilled to his touch and he made a promise to himself that she’d never forget what it was like to be in his arms.

He’d show her with actions how much he loved her.

With a last loving caress of his tongue, he shifted his attention from one breast to the other. Again he teased and taunted, never relaxing in his pleasurable onslaught. He could sup all night on her breasts alone. And set about doing just that, until her writhing and pleas for more became too much.

He moved down her body, committing it to memory with his mouth and hands.

Settling between her parted legs, he inhaled deeply her response to his attentions. He felt her tense as his nose nuzzled the damp curls shielding her sex. Heard the breathy sigh as she whispered his name – a sound that he’d remember till the day he dusted. And even then, it would still be a part of him.

Spike lapped at the moisture coating the wiry curls, and this time it was he that groaned as the taste of her flooded his mouth. He needed more…had to have more. The flavor was intoxicating. His tongue traced the outer rim of her pussy, prolonging the moment.

Teasing her…and him.

When he could stand it no longer, Spike used his hands to part her outer folds, and attacked her in earnest. His tongue delving into her warm cavern as his thumb rubbed random patterns against her clit.

Her response was instantaneous. Powerful legs wrapped around his neck as her hips shot off the mattress. The fingers that seemed to shred the bed sheets were now clenching the hair on his head, holding him in place. Her incoherent babblings spurred him on, begged him for more.

His fingers replaced his tongue, two digits sliding in and out of her pussy. Spike lifted his head, his gaze zeroing in on her face, pleased to see the look of pure bliss transforming her features. His inner poet offered up silent prose to her beauty, and for once, he had to agree with the ponce.

As if sensing his regard, her eyes opened and locked with his. Lust, and some other emotion he didn’t dare hope to believe, radiated from their hazel depths, and he nearly wept with the thought that she might, to some small degree, return his affections. He watched as her eyelids fluttered, unable to hold his gaze as his fingers worked their magic. Watched her frown slightly and mouth something too soft for even his preternatural hearing to pick up.

He stilled his hand and shifted to her side so that he could lean his head near her mouth.

“Inside me…” Buffy whispered her explanation in his ear in between gasps for breath. “…first time…please…Spike…” She was so close to coming, and the slightest provocation would no doubt set her off. But she was determined to have him inside her before that happened.

Then he lifted his head and looked at her. Love. Lust. Hope. They rivaled each other for dominance in his gaze. And damned if she didn’t feel the first tinglings of her climax. He probably felt it too, because his hands were quickly removed and he was resettling himself between her legs, filling her inch by agonizing inch.

Buffy wrapped her limbs around him, holding him tight as her orgasm washed over her body. Her release seemed to snap whatever control he had, because he was suddenly thrusting into her for all he was worth. And it felt so good…drawing out her climax even as she felt another one building inside her.

Spike felt her inner walls spasm around his cock and lost it. He fucked her relentlessly, something that would have disgusted him if not for the vague realization that she didn’t seem to mind in the least. Her nails scored his back leaving scratches deep enough that he could smell the tang of his own blood on the air. His face shifted unconsciously and his senses intensified.

The bounding pulse in her throat called to him, his focus narrowing to just that and the way she squeezed his cock as he rammed into her. His demon had taken over, leaving every softer emotion he possessed lagging far behind. Spike struck without thought, his fangs sinking into her throat as the temptation of her throbbing artery became to great. Her ear-piercing scream was cut off abruptly by his hand over her mouth; her teeth biting into his palm as she flew over the edge again.

It was too much for Spike. The sex, the biting, her potent blood – all three combined to demand his release. And he gave himself over without thought; wrenching his mouth from her neck as he reared back and spilled himself deep inside her.

********************

Little things slowly pierced his consciousness in the aftermath of their lovemaking as he lay there nuzzling her neck.

Nuzzling her neck?

Then what he’d done to her slammed into his gut, and he would have scrambled away from her if she hadn’t been holding him so tightly.

‘Lovemaking? Yeah, right! More like a bloody assault,’ he thought to himself. Literally.

Buffy felt his struggles and opened her eyes to see Spike propped above her as he wrestled to get away from her. The look of abject horror on his face was like a kick to the gut.

“Spike?” she whimpered as her face fell, on the verge of tears. “W-What’s…what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” he yelled. “What’s wrong? Buffy…I…”

Her grip on him slackened and he jumped from the bed to pace beside it, never seeing what the action did to the slayer. Too caught up in his own self-disgust to see her practically curl in on herself.

“Gah!! I practically rape you…bloody demon just uses you with no thought…t-to…”

Spike broke off his tirade at the sound of her crying. He rushed to her side, sitting on the bed and pulling her into his arms.

“’M so sorry, luv. So sorry,” he mumbled into her hair as he rocked her back and forth. “Jus’ get a stake and dust me now…can’t stand the thought that I hurt…Oh, baby, ‘m so sorry. Please, luv…”

He wasn’t sure what he was pleading for. Forgiveness. Understanding. An end to her tears that seemed to shred his undead heart to pieces.

“I t-thought you d-didn’t want me…that I w-wasn’t…g-good enough,” she sobbed into his chest.

“Oh…luv, no….” Spike gripped her upper arms and put some space between them so she’d be forced to look up at him. When she did…suffice it to say that he was ready to stake himself all over again at the misery that seemed to shadow her eyes. “Buffy… I…Bloody hell, woman! I wanted you so much I completely lost control!”

His gaze bore into her own, willing her to understand that it wasn’t her that he was upset with, but himself.

“Really?” she replied through her tears. Her voice was small, childlike, as if she weren’t quite able to believe his explanation.

“Yes, really,” he ground out. Hell, with her nude body nestled intimately into his groin, damned if he wasn’t close to losing it again. He watched as her hand lifted to the bite mark on her neck and he winced.

“Buffy…I…” His hand reached up to caress her face. “I’m sorry about that. About biting you. I promise it won’t ever happen again.”

“Even if I want you to,” she asked shyly.

In answer, Spike crushed her to his chest, practically hugging the life out of her. “Love you, Buffy…so much…” he murmured into her neck, too afraid to release her.

“I love you too, Spike.”

“…don’t know what I did to deserve—”

He stiffened as her whispered confession penetrated his consciousness. He leaned away from her, trying to see the truth of her words in her eyes. And there it was…

She loved him.

Spike cupped her face with his hands and lowered his head to kiss her. This time when he laid her back against the mattress, he did it right. Well, not so much right – seeing as the slayer had no objections to the first time – as the way he wanted their first time to be. Slow and tender, complete with all the sappy love words and whispered promises of forever.

Afterwards, they’d held each other close as they drifted off to sleep. Their time spent together holding back the nightmares of Sauron’s imminent attack and the perils the pair would face as members of the fellowship.

*******************

Spike woke in the pre-lit hours of morning and pressed a kiss to the slayer’s bare shoulder.

It was time.

“Buffy, luv. It’s time to wake up.”

Buffy stretched herself awake, surprisingly rested with the little sleep they’d gotten the previous evening. She rolled over, taking in his tense features, and nodded.

“Mornin’,” she greeted.

Spike could resist giving her a kiss, but forced himself to do just that. Both had a lot to take care of before they began their journey.

“You’ve got everything you need here?” he asked her afterwards.

“Yes. I… can I get one last bath before we go?” The hopeful expression in her voice did not go unnoticed and the smirk came automatic to his lips.

“Sure thing, pet. I’ve packin’ to do. I’ll see you in a few hours. You know where, right?”

“Front courtyard, by the stables?”

He nodded, tucked a stray lock of her hair behind her ear before rolling over to slip from the bed. Spike quickly donned his clothes and hurried to the door, pausing momentarily to look back over his shoulder.

“Love you.”

Then he was gone, closing the portal and striding off down the hallway before he could hear her returned declaration, determined to be nowhere near her when her friends inevitably showed up. Not that he cared if the Scoobies found out. Just…not like this. When they told them, if they told them, would be at Buffy’s discretion. And right before their journey wasn’t a time to hash out the group’s biases towards him and his recent relationship with the slayer.

They had other, more important things, to concentrate on.

********************

“You’ll look after Shelerof while ‘m gone,” Spike asked Elrond as the two walked side-by-side down the hallway that led to the courtyard. Aragorn trailed behind the pair.

“Yes.”

“And if something happens…”

“I’ll take him with me,” Elrond finished.

“Right then.”

They lapsed into silence, and moments later were in the courtyard where the others had started to gather. Spike’s eyes flicked over the slayer where she stood talking with Legolas, then his attention was drawn away as the last few members of their entourage – the human, Boromir, and the four hobbits – approached. The sun had just started to crest the mountains when the elven lord offered up a prayer of godspeed. When he was finished, Elrond and Gandalf conversed privately before the wizard clasped arms with the other then stepped away to lead them down the cobbled path and away from Rivendell.