What A Girl Wants

Chapter 13—Please Forgive Me

They looked at each other, unable to refute the irrefutable proof there in the palms of their hands.

“I don’t remember having scars like these,” he finally said.

“You didn’t.”

He looked at her, his eyes swimming. Forget the scars. Ignore they exist. “You came here? Because I left you?”

She couldn’t look, couldn’t— “I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go. Anywhere else I wanted to be. You were gone.”

She turned. “I’ll leave you alone.”

His question stopped her before she ever made it to the door. Voice cracking. “You love me that much? To leave your friends, your Watcher, your sister, and spend the night in an old crypt, just because I lived here?”

Her voice was quiet in the still air. Almost too quiet, even for vampire hearing. “I would do anything for you.” He started to go to her, but she was too quick. She was already gone.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The house on Revello was quiet. Buffy climbed the tree and slipped in through the window, not wanting to see or be seen. Life was over as she knew it, and she shouldn’t have….

Resolve strengthened her. She would not let this be over. They had claimed each other. That was for life, or unlife, whichever the case may be. There was no divorce, just together until dust. If that bleach blonde thought he was going to get rid of her that easily, he had another thing coming.

Then reality hit her head on with the sight of an empty bed; his clothes scattered, his robe still hanging on the back of the door. Who was she kidding, anyway? He left, and probably wouldn’t be back.

She stripped, donned her robe, and went in to take a shower. Even in there, he had left his mark. His shampoo in the shower. His cologne on the sink. His scent, everywhere around her. She sank to the floor of the tub and sobbed until the water ran cold.

She heard the noises of the house rousing for the day, and quickly went back into her room, closing the door behind her. Scents sizzled through her nostrils and directly into her brainstem, and she turned to see him there, on the bed, still smoking from the run from the sewer in front of her house.

“Hello cutie.”

She tightened her robe around her, and looked at him, letting him see the flavors of her emotions as they swirled through her eyes. Anger, pain, betrayal, love, happiness, sorrow, grief, and desire created an ever-changing kaleidoscope of colors, from gold to amber to green.

He watched in fascination, having never seen eyes like hers. He was falling, drowning in eyes of sun and sand and sea, drowning with the beat of her heart in his ears and the smell of her sex in his nostrils. The magic of the claim hummed in his ears, and all he ever was, ever would be, ever could be lay there in her eyes. She waited, silent and on guard, as he sat there watching her, unmoving and still as only a Master Vampire can achieve.

He spread his arms to her and she hesitantly stepped forward, fear in her scent. Not fear of him, he thought. She hadn’t been afraid of him ever that he could remember. That was one of the reasons he loved her. No, her fear was born of the threat of loss, and his heart hurt inside his chest. To think that he could ever separate from her now, after the claim, all they had been through…. He loved her. She loved him. She saw him. She tore through the tissue of his façade and see him, the man and monster and demon residing in the same flesh. To her, he was worthy. Worthy of love, and worthy of her.

He let the poet out, and threw himself at her feet. “I love you. No matter what, we’ll see this through together, you and me. You’re mine, and I don’t take that lightly, ‘specially since you claimed me first. I was wrong. You didn’t lie to me, and I should have never said you did. Please forgive me?”

Buffy stared at him. Stared too long, then he was across the room and holding her, loving her, touching her, and she was lost all over again in the wonder of him. She traced her hands down the sleeves of his duster, up across his shoulders, and pushed it off of him. It pooled in the floor at his feet unnoticed as he crushed her body to his, their lips colliding as they stumbled toward the bed.

“I didn’t mean it, Spike—I don’t even think I even knew for certain until it—and you—and me—I tried to tell you the night before, and couldn’t—I love you love you only you since forever, my love, my love.” She couldn’t stop talking, couldn’t stop the verbal flood that poured from her mouth as she kissed him, her musings never stopped. He was thrilled. He was finally hearing all he needed to hear from her for so long.

“When?” He picked her up, and carried her to the bed, nestling her head against his shoulder. She stopped talking for a moment, processing his question, and knowing what she needed to tell him.

“When I first saw you, I was—attracted to you, right up to the death threat.”

“And love?”

“When you helped me defeat Angelus. I knew that things between us would never and could never be the same. I also knew that you were someone I could trust. Angel wasn’t. You were right, that night in the Magic Box. Love is a funny thing. I would never had called it love, but I couldn’t stake you and couldn’t stay away from you.”

“You were my Slayer. You still are. You always will be.” He kissed her again, until she was breathless, and pulled back from her to look in her eyes. “At least you finally admitted it,” he said, humor creeping into his tone.

“I should have said it sooner.”

“In this timeframe, you did.” She looked up, and he shrugged. “Who knows if this is an alternate dimension or what?”

“I think that it’s my reward, for being a good Slayer and fighting the good fight.”

“Mmm, yes, good Slayers deserve rewards.” He lowered his mouth to the tender spot behind her ear, and was gratified to hear her moan. He nibbled the spot, and her arm crept up to rest on his neck, urging him closer.

He turned her in his lap, and parted the sides of her robe. When he touched her skin, he made a strangled sound when he found it cooler than his own. He threw the blankets back and tucked her under them, then lay beside her on top of the blankets, pulling her closer to him. He kissed her temple, and brushed her hair back from her forehead with his hand. “Go to sleep, love, I’ll be right here.”