**So I was having a wretched day yesterday and then I go look at my reviews. You guys sure know how to give a gal a happy :D Cheered me right up. So this is for you with great big loves *smooch*... I am responding to your reviews by the way, and will try to keep up with them throughout the story. :) **



Chapter Sixteen ~ Tainted Love

“ Sometimes I feel I’ve got to run away, I’ve got to get away –
From the pain you drive into the heart of me.
The love we share seems to go nowhere.
And I’ve lost my light – I toss and turn, I can’t sleep at night.
Once I ran to you, now I run from you –
This tainted love you’re giving – I give you all a boy could give you,
Take my tears and that’s not nearly all – tainted love.
Don’t touch me please; I cannot stand the way you tease…
Oh, tainted love…”

~ Soft Cell


Spike managed to make it out of her eye line before the tears started. The frustration, the tension, the months of unrequited adoration built up until they broke him. He stumbled home in a daze, not quite believing what had happened. How had he gone from being on the verge of making love with her to breaking it off before it ever got started? In the gloom of his crypt he nursed a bottle of Jack and let them fall where they may. He intended to spend the next week inside a bottle, possibly longer.

Oblivion was the only thing that’d keep him from staking himself right now. He’d just lost the one thing he still cared about – the only thing that was keeping him going. And if he was honest with himself, he loved her more than he had ever loved anyone or anything ever - in life or unlife.

Just why he couldn’t say. There was simply something about the girl. There always had been. He’d come to town to kill her, but her light – oh, her light. It was so very bright. It blinded him and drew him in until it was too late. Now he was a burning carcass falling to his doom. Never realizing she was a blazing candle and not the moon…

*Now I’m waxing poetic about sodding moths.*

“Ya sad bastard.”

He toasted himself with the bottle of Jack in his lap, taking a deep draught. No wonder Angel was such a great brooding pillock. She did have that effect, didn’t she? But Angel had left her, had willingly left her. He deserved what he got. Though… what was it that he just did? Didn’t he just walk out on her as well?

“ Oh, Bloody Hell!”

He laid his head in his hands. What in buggering fuck just happened? How did it…? Why?

“ Sweet fucking Christ. What a miserable cunt I turned out to be.”

He could have laughed at this ugly little quirk of fate. Things had gone completely arse over tit in a matter of moments. Somehow, in the midst of everything – he had managed to turn into fucking Angel…

He ground his palms into his eyes and prayed;

“Please God, Stake me now…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy stood there for a full minute, completely stunned. Her jaw practically unhinged itself it was hanging so far open.

*What just happened?*

Did Spike just leave her? Did he really walk away from her? Wait a minute…

*Did Spike just tell me to get my shit together?*

What alternative Universe was she in anyway? Was this Bizarro World where up was down and black was white and… Buffy felt dizzy. She bent over gulping huge lungfulls of air. Her thighs were twitching from all the unreleased energy and her body felt electrified. What had he done to her?

*Oh, you mean aside from almost giving you the best orgasm of your life?*

Bad Buffy Brain was back, and in a foul temper apparently. But she hadn’t done anything wrong!
*(Other than kissing him in the first place, and we’re just glossing right over that, right?) * She’d told him no. She stopped the badness. She stayed true to Riley, her boyfriend.

*(Mostly)*

So then why did her brain go into attack mode? And why did she feel just exactly like shit right now? She did the right thing. And if Spike walked away that was for the good. He should know it’s over, and nothing like that could ever, ever happen again. And if that meant that she never saw him again, that was for the best.

“Yes, definitely.”

She nodded to herself – assuring, agreeing. She was right. This was the end, it was better this way, really.

So much better, in fact – that she began to cry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eros had had enough. This girl, this Slayer was the most obstinate creature he’d encountered in a good century. What could possibly be the problem? Here was Love, in it’s truest earthly form presented on a silver platter. What more did she want?! Yet still she ran, even in the face of her obviously overwhelming desire for the boy - though she cried even now at his loss. And they had been so close to consummating their love! It was a gorgeous and extremely arousing display. He’d rarely seen such unfettered passion among mortals – or immortals for that matter. For a moment there, he actually thought his work here was finished.

He sighed, deeply aggravated and ran a hand roughly through his wavy hair, sending the golden strands into chaotic disarray. It was definitely time to bring in the big guns…

“ Don’t do that, Darling. It makes you look like one of those ragamuffin surf-bums.”

Eros whirled, heart in his throat. Before him stood the glowing Goddess of Love herself. At nearly 3,000 she didn’t look a day over 30. Her long, fair hair cascaded down her shoulders, tiny flower blossoms weaved in among the strands and her ivory skin seemed to be alight with it’s own glow. As always he was completely awestruck by her beauty.

“ Mother! You startled me, I was just about to call on you.”

Aphrodite smiled indulgently at her wayward child, her rosebud mouth curling at the corner.

“ Yes My Dove, I know. I felt your frustration all the way in the other realm.”

He smiled back sheepishly.

“ That bad, eh?”

She patted his arm affectionately and winked.

“ A mother always knows, Poppet.”

He smiled at the radiant goddess and embraced her warmly. Her soft pink robes smelled like heavenly roses and fresh honeysuckle. He was instantly calmed by her presence, and sighed with contentment.

“ Over two thousand years old and I still find I need you.”

He laughed ruefully and shook his head.

“ Heavens forefend you should ever stop, Cherub.”

She cupped his face with her lily-white hand fondly. Smoothing his silky hair back into place she looked at him with eyes the exact color of the Aegean Sea.

“ Now what’s all this nonsense about the Slayer?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy made her way home in tears. She thought she’d cried it all out of her system on the walk back to her house, but she found them creeping up on her repeatedly. In the kitchen getting dinner, in the shower washing her hair and now brushing her teeth. It was getting ridiculous. She was just glad Mom and Dawn weren’t up to question her about it.
The last thing she wanted to do was talk about this right now.

She finished brushing and swiped angrily at her eyes with a tissue. She felt absolutely wretched. She had a headache from crying, her stomach was in knots, and to make things just that much more ultra-fun: she was irrationally horny. You’d think all the crying and misery would be enough to nip that right in the bud.

*And what is a bud exactly anyway?*

She thought nonsensically. But nooooo. Her body seemed to care less what was going on in her head. It only knew that it had been rudely interrupted, and it wasn’t finished yet. She’d found her hands lingering in naughty places all on their own during her shower. She’d felt too upset to do anything about it then. But now, as she lay down to sleep – feeling like she’d just downed a double-shot of espresso – she thought she might actually have to do something about it now. Or face yet another sleepless night.

Buffy sighed irritably and flipped over, fluffing her pillow with unnecessary force. She thought about calling Riley for a second, but an immediate flash of guilt cancelled out that idea. Not to mention that he might not (ahem) get the job done. She shoved her face into her pillow wanting to scream.

Why, oh why, did Spike have to be so good at that? I mean she had her suspicions before, but now – now she KNEW. And it was one thing to suspect and a whole ‘nother thing to know, ya know?

*Oh Yeah. Definitely.*

‘Cause now she knew how his voice got low and rough when he was aroused, and that his eyes turned so dark they seemed black. Now she knew what his mouth felt like on her skin. How his tongue felt as it teased her neck, licked her nipples and sank itself deep inside her. She felt herself getting wet just from the memory of it. His tongue was so cool on her hottest place. She longed for him to make her come that way, to feel his whole mouth on her, devouring her.

*Bad brain!*

She scolded. But Bad Buffy Brain didn’t seem to care. It had places to go, things to do – and they all involved Spike.

*Just call me Amtrak.*

She thought wryly. Oh, God – Riley! How was she ever going to face him again? After everything that happened tonight. After all she did with Spike. Jesus, she still couldn’t believe it herself. Tonight, IN REALITY, she’d practically fucked Spike in a cemetery. She groaned into her pillow. Shady Glen was just never going to be the same...

The bad part was that it was good. Scratch that, it was incredible – the best ever. Or would’ve been if she’d actually let herself come. She pulled another pillow over her head, hoping to smother somehow. What’s worse was that more than she regretted cheating on Riley right now…

*(and let’s be honest that was so cheating.)*

She regretted not finishing things with Spike. And not just for her – for both of them. Alone in her bed she could admit that – a part of her desperately wanted to see the look on his face when she made him come, wanted to give him that pleasure. The thought of that look gave her a deep, tingling twinge. And she liked the feel of his cock in her hands, she could admit that too. It was so large and cool and so very hard. It made her want to get on her knees and take it in her mouth right there, right then – and she had never felt that way before. (Not even about Angel.) Then after that she wanted to throw him on the ground and slide it inside of her. Wanted to feel it filling her up, pushing against her womb, making her come and come... Like she knew he could, like he gladly WOULD if she’d only let him. Buffy groaned into her bedding, imagining it all too vividly.

*And why aren’t we letting him again?*

Bad Buffy Brain asked innocently.

At the moment she was honestly stumped.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aphrodite listened intently to her son’s story. A tragic tale of frustrated love between a vampire and a Slayer – certainly one of the more unique tales she’d ever heard. And that was saying something. There was the time that Zeus turned himself into a swan and… her son’s voice interrupted this train of thought, fortunately.

“…So you can see my problem, Mother. Nothing seems to have worked yet. I’ve done all but shoot the both of them where it would do the most good.”

Eros frowned petulantly reminding her at once of the mischievous child he’d been not so long ago. She almost expected him to stomp his sandaled feet and howl like a banshee – a trick he’d picked up from Pan. It used to scare the Hades out of the local shepards, giving him no end of satisfaction. She smiled adoringly at him.

“ Now, now, My Lamb. Don’t work yourself into a Pan-ic.”

That drew a sideways grin from the boy.

“ I’d forgotten about that. Not that the denizens of Sunnydale would notice. Have you seen the amount of supernatural activity around here?”

He dismissed the thought and began pacing, troubled.

“ I just feel so wretchedly out of practice! I’ve done little but play lackey for the Gods and the Powers these many years. I’ve forgotten the way of things, Mother. I’ve forgotten Love.”

He placed his head in his hands, filled with regret. Aphrodite rose and put her arms around him, shushing and comforting. She raised his head from her shoulder gently and looked deeply into his clear azure eyes.

“ My Darling Boy – you have forgotten nothing. You were made from Love! You have only strayed from your path; as we all are want to do from time to time. Even we Gods.”

She wrapped her arm around him and continued their walk through the stillness of the cemetery.

“Has it never occurred to you that the Powers brought about this situation not only for these lovers, but for you as well?”

He shook his head wonderingly, and asked;

“ But why?”

*Ah, the ignorance of youth.*

She thought fondly, cupping his cheek.

“ So that you would be reminded of your calling, Eros! So you would return to your true path, inspired by Love once more.”

The boy goggled at the notion, stopping in his tracks. Revelation just dawning. A singularly beautiful smile crossed his face, lighting him up like a blaze of heavenly sunlight. Had any mortal seen it, it would have meant their doom…

A lifetime of unrequited worship at the feet of the God of Love.



** Chapter Seventeen, coming right up...**