Chapter Nineteen ~ Where Are You Now ?

“ Are you in another place?
Or behind another face?
Where are you now?
Are you just a mental case?
Or did you just slip in to an empty space?
Where are you now? ”

~ Brandy



Buffy’s jaw hung slackly open for a full minute, prompting Willow to lean over and gently close it.

“ I take it that’s one of those things you don’t remember.”

Buffy got up, pacing anxiously.

“ Uh, yeah. This can’t be a good thing, Wil. I don’t understand anything that’s going on… Not a year ago Faith stole my body, tried to steal my life not to mention fucking my boyfriend! And now she’s the Slayer! And what exactly does that make ME?!”

Her voice rose to a hysterical pitch.

“ Um while I don’t feel at all qualified to address that first part, I can tell you what it makes you…”

“ In the middle of a psychotic break?”

“Uh, no – not exactly.”

“ On gianormous amounts of LSD?”

Willow rolled her eyes good-naturedly.

“ No, Silly - it makes you retired.”

Buffy thunked down heavily on her bed.

“ What?!”

Willow moved next to her and put a comforting arm around her shoulders.

“ Oh, Sweetie – I don’t know what’s going on, but I promise you we’ll figure this out.”

Buffy patted her arm gratefully and then rose from the bed again, pacing.

“ Just tell me how – when?”

Willow looked thoughtful.

“ Well, you started planning it senior year. I remember there was lots of discussion about everything. I mean it was such a big deal for there to be two of you in the first place. When you got your SAT scores back, they were so good – and then you got accepted to Northwestern. Your mom lobbied really hard of course, and Giles always wants the best for you…”

Buffy nodded absentmindedly remembering how excited her mom had been about her high SAT scores. She turned to Willow raising an enquiring eyebrow.

“ And Faith?”

She shrugged offhandedly.

“ She said she didn’t mind, ‘cause she loved the job and you didn’t – and she was never gonna go to college. She figured being a Slayer was all she was good for. She was super sweet about the whole thing actually.”

Buffy crossed her arms, looking deeply skeptical.

“ Really.”

“ Yeah. I kinda think she was happy to be the only Slayer. She really stepped up to the plate – started training really hard with Giles and - ”

“ Giles is her WATCHER?!”

Her mouth fell open in horror.

“ Well yeah, it only made sense – he had so much experience already. And that Wesley guy couldn’t really handle her. He kinda pooped out after we raided the mayor’s office and Faith…hey, do you remember that at all?”

She studied Buffy intently.

“ I remember the mayor’s ascension thingy – big snake and explodey-demon bits all over the place…”

Her friend cut her off;

“ Oh. Well, that never actually happened …” Willow’s brows drew together in a contemplative frown. “At least not here…”

She rested her head in her hand, lost in thought.

“ What? What are you thinking?”

Her frowned deepened.

“ I don’t know…it sounds impossible, even for here…but then again…”

Buffy was deeply unnerved.

“ What Willow?!?”

“ It’s just …I’ve been reading something lately.” She crossed the room to her bed and began shuffling in the drawer of her nightstand. Turning to Buffy she handed her a book. The title didn’t register mentally at all ; "Alternate Worlds; Theories in Quantum Physics ”.

“ Is this for your physics class?”

Willow shrugged and gave her a little half-smile.

“ Just a little light bedtime reading.”

“Whoa.”

Buffy was seriously impressed.

“Hey, a girl’s gotta have her hobbies.” She smiled enigmatically before going on. “ Anyway – this book is all about how there are alternate Universes that exist right beside our own. Some so close that they’re almost like a mirror to ours – others so far that we would hardly recognize them.”

Buffy’s brain strained to absorb this new information.

“ So there’s not just other dimensions, there are alternate UNIVERSES now?”

“ Yup. Apparently reality is a pretty complex place.” She nodded. “ The thing is these AU’s - that’s what the book calls ‘em – aren’t separated by much. According to the author decisions we make can send us into a different place. But this is the weird part – there aren’t just alternate Universes, Buffy. There’s alternate US - es.”

Buffy just goggled at the implications.

“ Yeah, I know. It kinda gave me the heebies at first too. Remember Vampire Willow? Yech.” She shuddered. “ This guy says that on some level, our souls live out every choice we make. Like it’s part of our spiritual growth process. All our major life choices create our path, and with every big life choice our path splits – and a part of us goes one way, and another part goes the other way. He says you can create Heaven or Hell on earth depending on your own choices. Makes it pretty important to stay conscientious huh?”

Buffy frowned.

“ So what are you thinking, Wil?”

“ I’m thinking – and I realize how wacko this sounds – but Hellmouth right?”

“ Riiight…”

She encouraged.

“ I’m thinking you’re in an alternate Universe. The things you said, about not remembering getting engaged – and I mean you would NEVER forget that! And about Faith being bad, and the mayor’s ascension. It just rang a bell for me and I thought maybe, just maybe it could be possible.”

They stood in astonished silence together, letting the implications of this sink in.

“ Buffy – maybe you’re getting a chance to live out a different choice. That seems like the only way you would remember things being different. ‘Cause according to the book we turn corners into different Universes every day without ever being aware of it.”

Buffy sat down next to Willow on the bed, stunned.

“ I don’t even know what to say…”

“ I know. Mind-blowing right? Just wait until you get into String Theory. I’ll lend you ‘The Elegant Universe’ – it’ll fry your synapses.”

“ No thanks, my brain already hurts as it is.”

Willow patted the top of her friend’s head gently.

“ Aw, poor Buffy’s Brain.”

She smiled at the silly gesture and then asked;

“ Could this really be possible, Wil?”

“ Well, Buff – look where we are. I think just about anything is possible.”

She made a wide arm sweep to indicate Sunnydale, the Hellmouth and Everything…

Buffy shook her head, trying to make the jumble inside make sense.

Alternate Universes… engagement… retirement…

*Wow.*


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Eros stood awestruck, observing the wonderment Aphrodite had performed.

“ Mother, what have you done?”

She clapped her hands, delighted with her triumph.

“ Oh, Only a small feat…I simply moved her over to the second Universe to the left. It was nothing really.”

She said, her voice full of artificial modesty. Eros smiled at her attempt at humility. She never was very good at it.

“ What shall we do now?”

He asked. She smiled brilliantly at him and gave him a wink.

“ Why nothing, Dear Boy – simply sit back and enjoy the show.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Buffy sat in brooding silence for several minutes. There was so much to digest. And she wasn’t sure she entirely believed it…but Hellmouth. That always made a convincing argument for any kind of weirdness to pop up in Sunnydale. And the weirdness had been plentiful as of late... She made up her mind to go with it, and see what they could find out at least. Stranger things had certainly happened. She smiled gamely at Willow.

“ So Faith huh?”

Willow nodded casually.

“ Yeah.”

“ Crazy Faith?”

That got a smile.

“ Uh huh.”

“ Psycho-killer Faith?”

Willow grinned wider.

“ Well she does go a little nutso on the vamps, but I wouldn’t necessarily call her a psycho-killer.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow, her tone incredulous.

“ So Faith is good now?”

Willow shrugged noncommittally.

“ Um, as far as I know she was never really bad, Buff. Not here. Faith is the one that stopped the mayor’s plans before they got too far. With your help of course…”

She added lamely, seeing the look on her friend’s face. Buffy’s frown deepened.

“ It’s just that – in my memory – or maybe my world – Faith went really psycho. She didn’t stop the mayor - she helped him. Right after she murdered the deputy mayor. Then she poisoned Angel and tried to kill me and…”

“ God, Buffy – oh no! No wonder you’re so freaked!”

“ Yeah. And it gets worse, Wil. Because of all that, and more…I had to fight her and I…well I put her in a coma for a really long time.”

Willow breathed in a hiss of shock.

“ Oh my Goddess...”

“ I know. But last year she came out of it, reaaallly pissed off and out for revenge. She had some kind of device – a magic device, that allowed her to switch bodies with me.”

Her friend’s eyes went wide.

“ She stole your body, like REALLY stole it? So you weren’t exaggerating when you said that.”

“ No, I wasn’t. She went nuts. Did all kinds of crazy stuff. She slept with Riley – in my body. He didn’t know of course. But it hurt so much! And it took me forever to get over it. Riley and I just got back to normal not that long ago.”

Willow looked stunned.

“ I don’t even know what to say. I’m kinda amazed you didn’t kill her.”

“ Oh, I wanted to. Believe me. But she ran off – like she does. All the way to Angel, who protected her – of course.”

“ I can’t believe that! After what she did?”

“ Yeah – he didn’t know at the time and – God, it’s such a long story...”

Willow’s face reflected her concern, and she asked quietly;

“ Can you tell me what happened? How did it end up?”

“ She turned herself in actually. She did the right thing, and now she’s doing time there. I don’t know when she gets out – if ever.”

“ Wow.”

“Yeah. Wow.”

“ Well, at least she did the right thing at the end. I know it doesn’t make up for anything she did to you…”

“It doesn’t, but maybe it will…eventually.” She smiled gently at her, thoughtful. “ You know, it’s funny. But the Wil I know hates Faith with a fiery passion, second only to mine.”

Willow smiled back.

“ I didn’t like her much, at first. I felt like she was taking my friends away. But then she turned out to be so good for you, and then she kinda just turned out to be good. She’s a great Slayer, Buffy. Not as good as you, of course.”

She added, patting Buffy’s knee reassuringly.

“ Yeah. Of course.”

She said not really believing it.

“ But she’s done a lot of good in the world. Averted 3 apocalypses – apocali?” Willow pondered. “ Giles says she’s really coming along.”

“That’s great I guess.” Buffy said half-heartedly, and then asked, “ She’s a good Slayer?”

“ Yeah.”

“ And she’s a good…person now?”

“ Uh huh.”

“Wow.”

Buffy got off the bed, pacing again. She felt dizzy from trying to keep up with the changes. Everything was so different. And the possibility that she was in an alternate Universe? She didn’t even know what to do with that information. A thought occurred to her and she stopped, turning to where her friend sat on the bed.

“ Am I happy, Wil? I mean here, in general?”

She smiled brightly in response.

“ You really are, Buffy. You said it was what you always wanted – to go to school and have a normal life. Be a regular girl. And you’re doing really good here. Your grades are great, and you’re so happy with Riley…”

“ Yeah, what about that? When did we get engaged? I mean we are right?”

“ Oh yeah! It was so sweet! He made such a big deal out of the proposal – I got to help plan.” She said grinning conspiratorially. “ He took you on this little tour of all the places that were special to you guys – you know like the lecture hall that he was your TA in, the quad that you had your first picnic on – ending in the school bookstore, where you first met. He told you that he had never been so happy to have a concussion in his life – cause that’s how he met you.”

“ The whole dropping books on his head thing.”

Willow nodded, beaming.

“ Yeah. Then he broke out roses and champagne and popped the question.”

“ Did I say yes right away?”

“Yup – that minute – or so ya told me.”

“ Wow.”

“ Plus he made this big deal about planning the wedding for the summer so he could take you on a big long honeymoon. You’ll be gone for like 2 months.”

“Wow.” She repeated, her mind starting to short-circuit. She sat down again, rubbing her forehead, trying to fend off an impending headache. Something important came to mind.

“ Have I met his parents yet?”

“ Yep. Nice, down to earth types.”

She worried her bottom lip nervously.

“ Do they like me?”

Willow nodded, reassuring;

“ They love you, Buffy. They already refer to you as their daughter and everything.”

“I’m running out of ‘Wows’ here…”

Willow put her arm around Buffy for reassurance.

“ I know it’s gotta be a shock. I can’t even imagine it myself. But we’ll get the gang on it and we’ll figure it out. You know we will.”

Buffy smiled weakly.

“ Yeah. I guess so. We always do.”

“ Let’s call Giles right now, okay?”

“ Okay. I’m sure I’ll feel better just hearing him say something Giles-ish.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Dear Lord, Buffy – an Alternate Universe, are you sure?”

“ Kinda?”

“ Oh Dear.”

Buffy and Willow exchanged a smile.

“See I told ya.”

She whispered to her friend, cupping her hand over the receiver.

“ What’s that?”

“ Nothing, just talking to Willow.”

“ Well, you two should come in straight away. I’ll call Xander and Faith and have them meet you here.”

“ Of course, Giles. And thank you.”

She said, sincerely grateful. He seemed momentarily stunned. When had Buffy ever said thank you for anything?

“ You’re welcome. Of course.”

He said kindly. Buffy smiled with relief. Giles was on it - they would figure it out. They always did.

“ We’ll be there as soon as we can.”

She hung up the phone.

“ Looks like it’s Scooby time again.”

Willow raised an eyebrow and put on a stuffy English-accent for Buffy’s benefit;

“Indeed.”

It was the first real smile she’d seen from her friend all day.


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