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Love Comes to Town by Soul of the Rose
 
Chapter Twenty Two ~ How Long Has This Been Goin' On?
 
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Chapter Twenty Two ~ How Long Has This Been Goin’ On?

“ I could cry salty tears –
Where have I been all these years?
Little wow, tell me now –
How long has this been goin’ on? ”

~ Peggy Lee


Buffy’s heart skipped a beat.

*And the cataclysmic shocks just keep on coming…*

“ Faith as in Crazy Faith? Faith changed him?”

*Hold on, that doesn’t mean they’re together…*

“ Well… yeah, at least from what I can tell. It’s not like Spike’s Mr. Forthcoming, all makin’ with the info. I just kinda figured it out for myself. At first, we didn’t know what his dealy was. He just started pitching in, helping out. He went on patrol with you guys a bunch. Then just with Faith after you retired. He kept getting better and better. Doing more good. And then I started noticin’ the sparks flyin’- ”

“There were sparks?”

Buffy asked weakly. Willow nodded, smiling.

“ Yeah, big crazy ones. And before ya knew it they made the hook up.”

Unfortunately she could picture just exactly what kind of hook up all too well. That ill feeling started creeping back into her stomach again.

“ Wasn’t Xander mad? He hates Spike.”

She asked anxiously, picturing the worrying damage Xander would no doubt try to inflict.

“ He was kinda. At first. But then he said if anyone could handle Spike it was Faith.”
Willow shook her head, smiling. “ They just sorta made sense together. So now they patrol every night and they’ve been dating for months now. Which has got to be some kinda record for Faith.”

Her nausea grew exponentially.

“ Is… is Spike happy do you think?”

She asked tentatively, afraid of what the answer might be.

“ I dunno – is Spike ever happy? He’s less evil…”

Willow shrugged non-comittally.

“Oh. Well that’s good I guess.”

Willow failed to notice the crestfallen look on her friend’s face.

“ Yeah – I think they help keep each other out of trouble in a way. Gives ‘em a vent for all that excess energy.”

Buffy got an instant and seriously unwanted visual of Faith and Spike doing exactly that.

*Is that what we’re calling it now?*

“ You okay, Buff? You look kinda green around the gills there.”

“ Sure. I’m fine. It’s just hard trying to keep up with the changes here.”

She covered, with an artificial smile.

“ Oh. Well sure. Funny, even the little differences huh?” Willow shook her head wonderingly. “ Like I know you’re Buffy. You feel like Buffy to me, you know?”

“ Yeah. I do.”

Buffy smiled back at her, genuinely this time.

“ But you’re not. You don’t belong here – it hurts you to be here. And my Buffy is… I don’t know where. The older I get, the less it seems like I know.”

It was good to be reminded that this was not her world, not her life (not her Spike!). And if she had her way, it never would be…

“ The Universe just keeps on with the wacky, huh?”

“ Yeah.”

They walked along quietly for a while, amazed at the circumstances that would bring their two worlds together. Buffy thought of her mother ill at home. Would she get well too? Did she need her there now? And what about Dawn - vulnerable to attack without her to protect her? And finally her own Spike alone in his crypt back home. Was he lonely? Would he miss her? Would he understand if she didn’t come back? Or would other Buffy be there to comfort him?

*And why doesn’t that make me feel better? Like at all…*

But other Buffy was engaged so she’d probably seek out Riley first.

*Oh shit – Riley!*

Somehow she’d managed to forget him - again. What was wrong with her? She had this great boyfriend who loved her and wanted to make her happy, but somehow he kept slipping her mind. It was just the circumstances – all the weird stuff she was dealing with. That had to be it. It made perfect sense really. Except for one little thing – she’d never managed to forget Spike. Not for a second, not for a moment. In fact hadn’t her very waking thought been

*Spike.*

She’d mistaken Riley for him for just an instant. She’d thought it was his arms she was waking up in. And she’d been pretty damn happy about it. Buffy felt a deep surge of guilt. She was hands down the world’s A #1 WORSTgirlfriend. Not to mention what happened in the cemetery the other night… She blushed at the thought.

*And again I ask myself ; “What the hell is wrong with you?”*

She’d been neglecting him all day too. Missed their lunch date and never even called.

*Bad, bad Buffy …*

She scolded herself. She probably should go see him, try to make it up to him. Smooth things over, if only for other Buffy’s sake. She didn’t want to be the one to ruin her engagement. After all she hoped to return to her own world soon.

*Please God.*

She prayed fervently. Every moment she was here seemed to bring a new and awful revelation. She was almost afraid of what she might see next. Buffy desperately needed some time alone to think things through. Life was confusing even before she made her sudden departure. As if it wasn’t bad enough to be having weird feelings for Spike – not to mention one seriously naughty encounter. It was hard to disentangle that from her already strained relationship with Riley. Add on the problems and implications of traveling to an alternate Universe and you had some severe brain-fry. Buffy really needed a time out.

“ Hey, Wil? I don’t want you to feel like I’m ditching you or anything but I really need some time to clear my head.”

Willow looked at her kindly.

“ Of course, Sweetie. Who can blame ya?”

“ I think I’m gonna take a walk then. Try to locate a little Zen. After that I should probably go see Riley. I ditched him for lunch already today and it’s giving me a bad case of the guilts. Even if he’s not my Riley, I still feel for him, ya know?”

Willow nodded sympathetically.

“ I understand. Are you gonna tell him about all this?”

“ I don’t know, Wil. I can hardly handle it myself. And Riley’s not that good with stuff like this. He likes his Universe nice and orderly. I think it might just hurt him. He’d have all kinds of questions. He might wonder why we aren’t engaged over there – and have doubts and…I think it would just mess things up.”

“ I can see how it could. Totally. Maybe you better not then - at least for now. With any luck we’ll have you back in your own place in just a few days and Riley will never even have to know.”

She smiled winningly at Buffy who crossed her fingers and replied;

“ Here’s hoping.”

“ Call me if you need anything, ‘ kay? I’ll be at Tara’s or in the library makin’ with the research. ”

“ Thanks, Wil.”

She smiled at Willow and hugged her warmly, feeling supremely blessed to have her as a best friend. If anything, this whole experience was showing Buffy how lucky she was. She never realized how much she had to be grateful for. She had a loving mother, a wonderful sister and amazing friends. Everywhere she turned in her life there was love. And yet she’d spent the better part of the last four years bitching and complaining about – well, everything.

*Guess I’m a glass half-empty kinda gal.*

She thought walking off towards Riley’s. Buffy couldn’t begin to count the number of times she’d wished to not be the Slayer - she’d hoped, she’d cried, she’d prayed. She’d spent so much time hating her life and wanting something different that she’d never bothered to notice what she got in return. If she’d never been the Slayer she never would have met Willow, Xander or Giles. She would never have loved Angel, or had those sweet memories of their relationship. And in spite of the pain she’d experienced, she wouldn’t trade it in. She smiled warmly thinking of him. This last year he’d really become a good friend to her and she was thankful for that.

The love they once shared seemed to transform itself into a solid friendship. She was glad that they could both move on with their lives now. A part of her would probably always love him; he was her first real love, first sex, first heartbreak. How could she ever forget that? But now she was content to let it melt into a warm glow of nostalgia, think of him fondly and wish him well. It would be nice to think he might find someone too and be… well – as happy as he could be.

Just as she intended to be. It was becoming pretty clear that life is brutally short - you have to grab happiness with both hands while you can.(And where have I heard that before?) She was realizing how quickly everything could be taken away from her. Buffy was so tired of being miserable and mopey. The life she’d spent so much time complaining about had been yanked right out from under her and now she felt like she’d do anything to get it back.

She could hardly believe she’d lost Dawn like that. Her mind was nowhere near accepting that she was Faith’s sister now. There was yet another gift being Chosen had brought her. It was hard to adjust at first, Dawn seemed like such a total pain in her ass. Always underfoot and in the way - kinda like a brand new puppy. But now, she was a part of her and Buffy felt her love growing for her sister every day. She had never felt so fiercely protective of another person before.

What was she thinking when she retired? How could she just walk away like that? Buffy knew she didn’t have the whole picture yet – but she definitely got the sense that other Buffy didn’t see the gang that much anymore. Giles had even said how much they all missed her. Thank God she still had Willow, but how could she let everyone else just drift? How could she not see Giles?! He was like a father to her, more so than her own dad had ever been. And Xander was her best male friend, and practically a brother.

She walked along, deep in thought - pondering the mysteries of AU Buffy’s decisions. Here she was smack in the middle of the life of her supposed dreams. Just your everyday college girl with a nice-guy fiancé and no more worries than her GPA and where to have her wedding. Normal as normal could be.

Had she really wanted this?

She’d been retired less than a day and was already hating it. It made her feel all useless and stripped of power. She didn’t know how other Buffy could stand it. And letting Faith take over – of all people. She shook her head in disbelief. What a crazy existence it was that such things could happen. Events could line up just so to make her life turn out completely different. What was that saying? The one her mom always used…Oh yeah;

"Careful what you wish for – you just might get it."

And that could not be truer in this case could it? Her whole life had become unrecognizable to her. And this so could’ve been her - really her. She clearly remembered the scenario Willow had described. There had been talk about Faith taking over and her retiring to get an education. It almost happened. Almost. Before Faith decide to take a spin on the dark side that is.

*Guess I don’t have to ask “what if” anymore, huh?*

And she was freakin’ engaged! To Riley! I mean it was all well and good to date him, he was a wonderful boyfriend (mostly). He was good and sweet and kind to her - and Buffy really appreciated the sense of stability and normalcy he’d brought to her life. But MARRIAGE?! As in FOREVER? Whoa. There was no way she was ready for that. Especially with him. She was starting to realize that they’d been having some serious problems for awhile now. He always seemed worried and fearful and would never tell her what was wrong unless she dragged it out of him. Then there was the whole lack of sex issue lately – and hello, nineteen here! Not quite in need of Viagra yet.

*At least I’m not.*

She thought irritably. And what was his problem anyway? He hardly seemed to want to anymore. And when they did – well, let’s just say waking the neighbors was never an issue. She was kinda bored actually… But maybe she was being unfair, maybe she wasn’t giving him a real chance. Things were kinda crazy lately. Even before this whole alternative Universe mess. Mom was sick and Glory was after Dawn. Maybe if she paid a little more attention to him and their relationship things would be alright.

*Hey, it could happen.*

Her shoulders sagged under the weight of it all. There was so much to deal with at the moment and she felt downright exhausted. What she really needed was a decent night’s sleep. Maybe Willow would have some news for her tomorrow. Then she could get out of this crazy place and get down to the business of straightening up the mess her actual life was in.

*Let other Buffy deal with her own problems!*

All she had to do was try not to mess anything up here until she made it back home.
Buffy thought she’d never be so happy to see her own little Hellmouth and screwed up version of Sunnydale again.

*God yes! Just give me back my life again!*

Just one little thing left to do. Gotta smooth things out with Riley.
She sighed wearily and squared her shoulders preparing to do her girlfriendly duty.



** Okay, okay - calm down already. It's just a plot device! If there was no bad guy and no obstacles it wouldn't be much of a story now would it? Take a deep breathe and relax. I promised you a happy ending, didn't I? *smooch* xoxoxoxox Rosie**
 
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