** A little angst, a lot of sweet Spuff - and a complete, non-cliffie chappie just for you :) **


Chapter Twenty Nine ~ Never Tear Us Apart

“Don’t ask me what you know is true.
Don’t have to tell you I love your precious heart.
I was standing. You were there. Two worlds collided.
And they could never tear us apart.
We could live for a thousand years,
But if I hurt you I’d make wine from your tears.
I told you that we could fly, ’cause we all have wings
But some of us don’t know why.
I was standing. You were there. Two worlds collided.
And they could never, ever tear us apart.”

~ INXS


It took Buffy over an hour to enlighten him to the whole sordid mess. Starting with the night her and other Spike had nearly made love in the graveyard ending with dinner with Riley and seeing him with Faith. She told him about her dreams, and all the things she’d thought about in between – how she realized they’d been working up to this all along. And most of all how she just couldn’t deny that she was in love with him one moment longer. But the complications – oh, the complications…

Spike’s face was blank with shock. Whatever story he’d been expecting to hear, it wasn’t this. He could never’ve dreamed this one up in a million years. Alternate Universes? An alternate him? And this wasn’t his Buffy…not technically speaking? And his Buffy was where?

“ Sweet bleedin’ Christ.”

He whispered, voice soft with awe. He had no idea what to do. Here in front of him, was the very thing he’d wanted most in all his days. Buffy was here, now - telling him she loved him; she wanted him - wanted to be with him. But the hows and whys of it were staggering. It seemed impossible; he’d seen some truly strange shite in his time - and hello, vampire – but THIS…

“ You sure you didn’t just get a knock on the head?”

He eyed her skeptically.

“ No! Why does everyone keep asking me that?”

She scowled with annoyance.

“ Sorry, Love. Guess that’s just the easiest explanation.” He shook his head wonderingly.
“ Lot easier to grasp than this…”

Buffy was curled on the far end of the sofa, arms wrapped around herself protectively.

“ I just needed you to know. In case…”

She looked down, unable to finish.

“ In case you go back you mean.”

His voice betrayed none of his inner turmoil.

“ Yes.”

She looked up at him tentatively; so afraid of what she might see.

“ Is that what you want…? ”

How could he be asking her if she wanted to leave him? But he had to know. He clenched his jaw, bracing himself inwardly for her answer.

“ I don’t know right now. You’re here in front of me and I don’t want to let go. But I don’t know if I belong here. And I miss Dawn…” Her voice caught and trembled. “ And what if she needs help? I don’t know if … if your Buffy is there with her, or where she is. Dawn might have no one to protect her from Glory now.” She paused, terrified for what her sister might be facing without her. “ And don’t I owe your Buffy something too? I mean this is her life I’m messing with.” She placed her hands on the back of her neck anxiously, tangling them in her hair. “ God, Spike it’s all so complicated and strange. I may be here forever, and if I am - I know what I want now. I know the life I want to have.”

She looked at him meaningfully. He took her hand and kissed it. The tears slipped from the corners of her eyes, finally overflowing and he moved to hold her, gathering her into his lap.

“ It’s alright, Love. It’ll be alright.” He stroked her back, comforting. “All we ever have is now. You know that, you’re a bloody Slayer! So we take what time we have together and make the most of it.” He said firmly, as if that were the obvious answer.

She broke down sobbing into his shoulder, clinging to him.

“ But what if I leave you here? I can’t do that to you! If she comes back she might not feel like this…and then…and then you’ll be alone again.”

She finished quietly, stifling her sobs. He held her away from him looking at her intently.

“ Buffy, I’d rather have you now, while I can, than never have you at all.” His own tears stood out in eyes. “ And as terrified as I am of losing you again, I’m not so cowardly as to miss the one chance I may ever have to be with you.”

His tears slid down his face and into her hair as he held on to her tightly, as if she might disappear from his very grasp.

“ At least I’ll have this, now. I’ll have it to get me through if - ”

He choked, unable to continue. He couldn’t believe the madness of this life. How could he be offered all he’d dreamed of in one breath and in another have it all taken away from him? What kind of monsters were these gods, these Powers That Be to play with lives like this? He couldn’t begin to fathom what their plans were. He felt a surge of profound resentment.

*You can’t have her!!*

He thought fiercely.

*I WON'T let you take her from me.*

Her tears fell unchecked pattering dark blots onto his black shirt. She felt so helpless right now, so out of control of her own life. She hated it so much.

“ But I might not have a choice, Spike.” She sniffled. “I mean I didn’t put myself here, I just woke up in bed with Riley.”

He growled unconsciously at that.

“ I could be yanked back at anytime. Sometimes I think I might only be dreaming…but it’s so real…”

She trailed off wonderingly.

“ So even if you decide to stay…you can’t be sure you will.”

His voice was flat and dead with the pain of it.

“ Yes. I HATE that, Spike. I hate it!”

She pulled back from him, wanting him to know, to understand.

“ I know, Love. I know. I hate it too.” He soothed, pulling her close again. “ But you say the Scoobies are workin’ on it – and old Rupes? We’ll figure it out then. You lot always do.” His voice was full of confidence, easing her fears. “ Certainly put an end to enough of my evil schemes.”

She chuckled along with him this time.

“ True.”

She burrowed into the security of his arms. Somehow feeling safe. It was hard to imagine anything hurting her here. But she knew deep down, there was always something out there in the darkness, gunning for her.

*If they really ARE after you is it still paranoia?*

She wondered tiredly, the exhaustion of the last few days dragging her down.

“ See, Love? It’ll be alright. I’ll MAKE it so.”

He said firmly - with the kind of conviction that could only belong

To a man in love.


** See, I really can write a non-cliffie chapter...Once in awhile ;p Next time pornaliciousness and a nice long update. And fret not children, all questions will be answered and all conflicts resolved by the end. I guarantee happy endings for everyone (I'm sappy that way). *warm fuzzies to all* Rosie xoxoxoxox**