Sitting in the dark in front of the television, Willow frowned at the amount of people that kept interrupting her, first Xander stopped by checking up on Dawn and Buffy, then Dawn left and Buffy came dancing through, a smile on her face for the first time since she had been brought back. Maybe Spike helping her readjust to life was a good thing? She was interrupted again by Anya calling when she was thinking about Buffy, but try as she might, thinking about anything but the upcoming wedding and bridesmaid dress discussions made her forget all about Buffy and her life and death depression.

Taking over the sofa while Willow was on the phone, Buffy managed to write a few lines to Faith without sounding stupid. Putting down her pad and pen she continued with the chores her mom used to do. Putting the freshly washed clothes in the dryer she made her way back upstairs using a fresh piece of paper to make a shopping list, including things she thought she could afford to treat Dawn.

Leaving the list on the side for Willow to add to, she tidied up the house as she went, getting ready to go shopping.

Picking up the shopping list she looked in horror at the items Willow had added before going to class. How the hell was she expected to afford all those things? She really needed a job. Or maybe Willow needed to start paying her way.



Opening the door to see Buffy up and about, the house looking the cleanest it had since Tara had left and the smell of freshly baked cookies in the air, Dawn found herself grinning like a madman.

“Buffy?”

“In here.” Buffy’s voice floated out of the kitchen, following her voice Dawn watched as she scooped the last of the cookies off the baking tray and onto a plate. Pinching one she sat down opposite her sister,

“You go shopping?” She asked, taking a bite of her hot cookie. Seeing Buffy shake her head in the negative she frowned, crumbs falling from her mouth as she tried to talk, “Why not?” She managed around her mouthful.

“No money.” Buffy said quietly, not wanting her sister to be worried about finances and household problems. Lifting her head up she smiled, “We’ll manage, I’ll get a job doing something.”

“I could get a job too!” Dawn said excitedly, “Get double the money.” She smiled widely, “And besides; I’ve got dad’s credit card if we need it.”

Choking on her cookie, Buffy’s eyes widened in disbelief,

“Dad’s credit card?”

Nodding, Dawn dug through her bag and pulled out her battered old Hello Kitty purse. Flipping it open she crowed triumphantly, pulling a shiny looking card out from behind her movie rental card. Handing it over she dropped her purse back into her bag and took Buffy’s hand in her own,

“Let’s go shopping!”



Standing under his favourite tree, Spike watched as Buffy and Dawn danced around the living room. Not wanting to intrude on their obvious jubilance, he watched in delight as Buffy’s face lit up, the happiness practically oozing out of her. Satisfied that she was okay, he slipped away, not wanting anyone to notice him.

The tingly feeling in her stomach receding, Buffy cast an eye to the window, smiling as she watched the platinum head bob away into the darkness. She felt loved and cared for whenever Spike was near. The jubilation of having landed a job at a local fast food restaurant and having Willow pay towards the cost of the house as well as the satisfaction she felt at putting her shopping and a few extra treats for her and Dawn like clothes and toiletries on their dad’s credit card. What was two hundred dollars to him? He earned that in an hour on some cases. And he was nice enough to give Dawn a card when Buffy had been dead and gone. Even if he did think Buffy had gone crazy when he met the ever-cheerful Buffy bot.



Sinking down on the sofa, Buffy watched as the gang poured in the front door, noticing a gaping hole in her circle of friends. It wasn’t just that Tara was missing- that was where Spike belonged she told herself. Surrounded by her family; for that was what they were. They may not understand her, or even know her very well anymore, but they were still there for her, every single one of them. Even Spike.

She smiled when she felt him return. Waving to the almost invisible vampire, she gestured for him to come and join everyone, holding her head up high and ignoring her friends and their comments as she stood and opened the door, extending the invitation that she had given the rest of her friends that evening. This was a time for celebration and as Spike was part of her good mood, she felt inclined to let him join in the birthday festivities. It wasn’t everyday she turned twenty-one, and after all; it was him that put her in such a good mood that she actually got up this morning.

Settling back down on the sofa in between Spike and Willow, Buffy couldn’t help but grin. Xander and Anya were cuddled up together, Dawn was sprawled across the floor with the remote in her hand and her best friend and Spike were surrounding her. She felt truly happy.

Except for the intense craving in her womb that knew how dangerously close Spike was. His overly close proximity driving her slowly crazy throughout the night until she felt like dragging him upstairs and forcing him to bite her.

Shifting slightly in her seat, Spike averted his eyes, having been watching her intently for the past half-hour, the not so subtle scent of her arousal driving him insane.

Watching the credits roll, Xander stood, yawning as he ushered Anya out of the door, wishing goodnight to everyone, casting Spike one last dirty look for good measure before shutting the door behind him. Following suit, Willow went up to bed and Dawn, wanting to give Buffy and Spike a chance to be alone, scrambled up behind her, not bothering to even wash in her hurry to get out of the way.

“You ok?” Spike tilted his head, the smell lingering in the air tempting him almost beyond his control now that they were alone.

Nodding, Buffy frowned. She didn’t want Spike to have this kind of control over her. Knowing that he could smell her arousal, she focused her mind on the dullest things she could think of.

Watching Buffy frowning, her mind obviously elsewhere, he leant into her, pressing a chaste kiss to her neck, wishing her a happy birthday and sauntering out the door, the sound of the door shutting behind him breaking Buffy out of her reverie.

Shrugging, Buffy walked up the stairs calmly, making her way into the bathroom and locking the door behind her. Taking out the spare pair of scissors, she sat down, her eyes already glazed, thoughts rushing from her head as the pain numbed her.

******

A piercing calm took over Buffy’s body, her mind emptying itself completely, her body not responding to anything but the pain. Her eyes closed and she felt body jerking away from where she sat. A sensation of flying was soon replaced by a harsh landing. Opening her eyes a fraction she frowned blearily at Spike. He wasn’t real was he?

Straddling the Slayer, Spike stripped off his black t-shirt and wrapped it around her leg tightly, the added pressure making her even fainter. Sitting on the makeshift bandage he ignored her obvious discomfort.

If she didn’t like it then she shouldn’t have done it.

“I told you not to do this again.” He growled in her ear, all niceties lost in his outrage. Ignoring the nagging in the back of his mind telling him that letting the Slayer off herself wouldn’t be a bad thing. He could take over Sunnydale and rule as master vampire. Yeah, sure. And how many years was it since that had been even a remote possibility?

Looking down at Buffy’s calm and peaceful face he knew he couldn’t resist, her innocence driving him wild. He knew damn well she was anything but innocent after their last few encounters and if she was trying to invite him into her circle of friends then what was wrong with him inviting himself in?

“Wake up.” He ordered, his voice unnecessarily gruff. Not waiting until she complied he began to kiss and nip his way down her chest, pulling away her clothes as he went. Leaving her arms in her blouse he pushed it aside, kissing around her breasts right down past her belly and past her delicious smelling arousal until he reached the dripping slits on his inner thigh.

Licking the blood away and sealing it with his saliva he bit down hard, his fangs causing more pain than necessary. Hearing her gasp underneath him he rejoiced in his mind.

She did feel pain, she did feel something. Even if she did put on a good show for her friends, Spike knew she only felt a quarter of the emotions she claimed to, if that much was even possible in her current state.

It was almost as if some small part of her was left behind in heaven. The ability to feel love, maybe even her damn conscience. Stupid girl.

Taking a hard pull on her blood he forced himself to stop, sealing the twin puncture holes with his tongue. The scent of her arousal was making him light headed; anymore time in such close proximity would probably make him do things he would regret. He may be a demon, but he was no monster.

Covering Buffy up he slipped under the covers next to her, holding her close no matter how much she struggled and feebly protested. Her struggles soon became weaker and weaker, her Slayer strength deserting her as she succumbed to sleep, her body instinctively seeking comfort from Spike.



Peering through the door, Dawn punched the air, creeping back to bed and setting her alarm clock for a more reasonable time than three am. Falling asleep to wild dreams of Buffy and Spike getting married and having beautiful babies, she was grinning and drooling in her sleep when Spike peeked in to say goodbye three hours later.

Letting himself out the front door, he strolled down Main Street to his graveyard with a smile on his face. The Slayer had slept in his arms, her blood was singing its way through his body and even the bloody annoying birds chirping at the coming dawn couldn’t bring his mood down. Not remembering a time in his life he could honestly say that he felt as good as this he pushed open the door to the crypt slowly, ignoring the tempting bottle of whisky and making his way to bed. Why drink away his good time when he could go straight to sleep and dream about it all day?



Waking up slowly, Buffy frowned. She could have sworn Spike was holding her in his arms when she went to sleep. Blinking at the bright light streaming in the window she quickly checked for dust on the sheets. Finding none she scowled. Stupid vamp, making her dream about him. She couldn’t help it if hurting herself wasn’t quite as good as when he hurt her. There was no way she could let him bite her again. Sitting up she glanced down at her thighs, the twin dots that matched the ones on her shoulder stared back at her, almost teasing her. She hadn’t dreamed it, Spike had been with her the night before. She could remember his kissing her, the way he held her and most of all, the way it felt when his canines slid through her skin as if it were as soft as butter, the orgasmic power she felt coursing through her every time he took a pull of her blood into his mouth.

This was bad.

He had to be stopped and Buffy was just the person to do it.

Right now.

*****

Stomping her way into Spike’s crypt, Buffy ignored the upstairs heading straight down the ladder that led to the dark cavern he liked to call his bedroom. Stopping in front of the black silken sheets that lay across his obviously naked body she frowned. How could someone so evil look so innocent and childlike when asleep?

She would soon change that. Picking up a short white candle from a handy table she threw it at his head, giggling when it landing with a thud across his nose and rolled onto the pillow.

Shooting upright, a fighting stance instinctive to him, he relaxed when he saw it was Buffy standing at the foot of his bed. Leaning back with his arms folded behind his head,

“Come back for more kitten?” He purred. The look of longing on her face was soon replaced with righteous anger and contempt and he kept his face impassive, his head tilted towards her, his eyebrow raised. He knew she couldn’t resist that look. “No? What is it you barged in for then? Bit’a rough’n’tumble?”

“Ewww, Spike. You’re a pig. I hate you and- And this thing needs to stop.”

“Thing?” He asked politely, watching a small vein in her temple pulsate angrily,

“Whatever this is. It has to stop.” She threw him a dirty look, “Who gave you permission to bite me again?” She demanded angrily.

“Well when you beg someone, they tend to get the idea that you want it.” Spike drawled, his lazy posture and accusations making her see red. Cutting her off before she could really start yelling at him he inched forward until he was perched on the end of the bed, not a foot away from the angry Slayer, what kind of insane vampire was he?

Closing her eyes at his revealed nudity she found it hard to concentrate her mind on the topic at hand when the erection he was sporting was bobbing up and down as he moved. Was this how he killed the other Slayers? Distracting them with his huge cock? Laughing the thought away, her laugh sounding hollow even to her own ears she focused on what she came her for, she pulled a stake out of her waistband and stepped forward as menacingly as she could considering his state of undress. Pressing the stake to his chest she was astounded when he spread his arms, making it easier for her to reach her target.

Not wanting to actually stake him without a fight, Buffy kept her hand tightly curled around the small sliver of wood and punched him in the nose. Ignoring the ‘bloody hell’ that flew from his mouth with other assorted curse words she continued to whale on him, ducking and dodging the punches and kicks he aimed her way. Catching an extended arm, Buffy pulled him to the ground, straddling him to put an end to their shortest ever fight. Her hand shaking as she placed the stake over his heart, she looked deep into his eyes, the forgiveness she saw within their cerulean depths startling her into dropping the stake.

Letting the stake roll away with a clatter, she crashed with it, curling up in a ball on the dirt floor and sobbing, her body shaking with the force of the emotions flooding through her.

She hadn’t cried since she had been back. In three long months she had not shed one single tear and now they fled her eyes uncontrollably for Spike. For herself. For Dawn and for everyone else she could think of. Faith, Angel, her dad, her mom, Giles, Wesley.

For everything she had done and seen.

She didn’t want this life, how dare her friends assume that she was in hell, how dare they bring her back to this hell?

How could she be alive?

How could Spike love her when everyone else had abandoned her?

How could she feel like this?



Hopping onto the bed with Buffy scooped up in his arms, Spike wrapped her up tightly, pressing feather-light kisses to her face and neck. He was glad she was showing emotions again, but it still tore at his heart to see her so upset.

Struggling in Spike’s arms, Buffy frantically tried to free herself, her weakened state helping none.

Holding her to his chest, she scratched and clawed at him in a desperate attempt to free herself while he whispered sweet nothings in a plea to calm her down.

“Please!” Buffy whimpered, batting his hands away. “Let me go, please.”

Kissing her hands and holding them to him, he smiled. She was gaining some sense of self, she was trying to pull herself back from the brink. The brink of death, the brink of losing herself, he didn’t quite know but he could see the turmoil in her eyes and he was quite content to let her scream herself hoarse and kill him all over again if it would help her in any way.

If Buffy was going to try and live her life, he was going to try to be there to help her every step of the way. There was nothing more pitiful to him than a warrior with a death wish.

This warrior was fighting, the way she was born to.

His Slayer was biting back.

*****

Loosening his hold on the Slayer, Spike watched as Buffy snuggled into his chest, her shouting had ceased and her pitiful sobbing has subsided, sniffles and mumbled words of self pity taking over as she was rocked from side to side.

“Why?” She whispered, looking up at him, her red rimmed eyes making her appear old and tired.

“Why what?” he asked softly, stroking a stray lock of hair away from her face. She smiled wanly,

“Why do you do this?”

“Do what?” He asked with a gentle smile,

“This, why do you hold me? Why do you care?” She paused, bloodshing prettily, “Why do you love me?”

“That’s easy.” Spike smiled, his eyes showing just how much he did love her, “Because you’re you.”

She jerked around, sitting half upright on his lap, looking directly at him in surprise.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She half accused, smearing snot across her face in a useless attempt to make herself more presentable.

Grinning at her adorably messed up face, Spike pulled the sheets up from behind them, wrapping her up to protect her from the chill in the air.

“To mean?” He asked with a smirk, “It means, that I love you, because you’re you. You’re a beautiful young woman, a fantastic Slayer, a great big sister, a wonderful friend, you’re sexy as hell and my god are you an animal in the sack!” Ducking the teasing punch she aimed at his head, he smirked, raising his eyebrow in that sexy way of his making her quiver in excitement.

“That cover it?” He asked with a smile. She covered her head in embarrassment, giggling like a schoolgirl when Spike pulled the sheet away from her head, smothering her with sloppy childish kisses, pulling her back with him, rolling them over as he pressed a wet kiss to her nose, his hands roaming under her clothes while his mouth wandered south.

Lying limp under Spike, Buffy writhed and groaned while he divested her of her clothes, leaving her in nothing but a smile as his talented tongue licked it’s way down past her belly button, stopping at the junction between her thighs. His tongue sliding out of his mouth to taste her juices, licking and sucking furiously as she moaned beneath him, her first orgasm just a taster of what she knew was to come.

Extending his canines, Buffy giggled as she felt his ridged forehead brush against her thigh. Pulling his head up to hers, she pressed a kiss to his lips, the carefree attitude he was bringing out in her making her delightfully open to suggestion as he slid right inside her before she could protest.

Shifting to accustom herself to his enormous length and girth she wrapped her legs tightly around him, thrusting upwards, her animalistic tendencies shining through with her primal slayer side as Spike’s demon took over. Their coupling was increasing in ferocity as Spike groomed her neck, his teeth sinking into the soft supple skin as she bucked beneath him, her blood flowing into his mouth, neither being able to hold on as they rode out their climaxes in unison.

Her neck feeling tight and cold when Spike pulled away, she held him in place to lick the tender punctures, sighing when he rolled her over, lying side by side.

He felt equal, in power as well as standing. He was quite happy to be basking in the afterglow of their shagging. She had not only come to him for comfort, but she had stuck around after sex and was currently lying between his satin sheets, watching him as he watched her. He wasn’t fooled, there would be no making love until she could actually feel the love he was willing to give. This was about sex, the passion that helped her to feel something, that made her more alive, it was her drug of choice.

And he was content to be that addiction.

Buffy smiled back at Spike, closing her eyes sleepily and curling into his side. Life wasn’t so bad after all, she felt absolutely exquisite, lying in the aftermath of the best sex in her short life so far, and the twin punctures on her neck reminded her just how she came to be here. If Xander didn’t kill him, someone else would she mused, her fingers skimming over the rapidly healing marks. She knew someone would see them, she just couldn’t bring herself to care much.

-

Staring through the dimly lit tunnel, Riley shielded his wife from the horrors in front of them. Willow had told him that Buffy would probably be with Spike at this time and he hadn’t thought to question it as he had headed towards the cemetery, taking a shortcut through the sewers that he knew would take him straight to the hidden cavern beneath Spike’s crypt. The element of surprise was always an advantage when dealing with HST’s and Agent Finn was never one to go in unprepared. Guess that backfired, he thought dryly, watching as Buffy snuggled- yes, snuggled- against the vampire in question, her clothes strewn around the candlelit cavern.

Pushing her hesitant husband out of the way, Commander Finn gasped as she recognised both of the subjects before her eyes. The Slayer had blatantly been fornicating with Hostile 17 of her own free will. It made for interesting thought, but right now there was no time. The demon they needed was on the loose and they would need the Slayer and her assistants if they were to succeed with their mission.