[A/N: There’s a whole lot left of this story. . . I think I just realized that. . . and I’m also thinking it might actually need to be broken up again. . . Anyway, the title is from John Le Carreʹ and the quotes are as attributed. Disclaimers in full force and effect.]

Previously: Buffy and Spike have convinced Giles that something is off and now they, together with assistance from Wesley, Oz and Anya, they are trying to discover what is going on. Spike’s just told Buffy she’s pregnant, although they have no idea how. Faith’s been having ominous slayer dreams and Dawn and Casey are out on a date. This picks up where we left everyone.

Book Two. Chapter 38. The monsters of our childhood

There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them.
Andre Gide

Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is.
German Proverb

He who fears something gives it power over him.
Moorish Proverb

It's been said that fear of the unknown is an irrational response to the excesses of the imagination. But our fear of the everyday, of the lurking stranger and the sound of footfalls on the stairs, the fear of violent death and the primitive impulse to survive, are as frightening as any X-File, as real as the acceptance that it could happen to you.
Mulder, X-Files

Hope is ambiguous, but fear is precise.
Leo Rosten




Faith hung up the phone, confusion swirling in the depths of her dark brown eyes. Something was up with Giles, he was less clear than usual – she had barely understood what he was saying. It was almost like they’d been having two or three different conversations. So it had been a couple of years since she talked to him, she didn’t think the old man had lost it in that amount of time.

Going over everything they’d said, Faith realized it was like her dreams, the messages all jumbled and incoherent until she caught onto the pattern. Okay, girl, what’s the friggin pattern? What was watcher-man saying. . . And not saying?

Her hand still on the receiver, Faith closed her eyes and cleared her mind. Something’s seriously wrong in SunnyD. That much I got. Something else is up and they haven’t figured it out yet. All righty then. Forcing her mind to clear once more, she stared at the phone. The urgency that had been goading her for days notched higher. There was. . . . turning away from the phone, Faith eyed the trussed and tied-up warden.

“Sorry dude. Gotta motor. Duty calls.”

She realized the irony even as she spoke the words, but she pushed it aside. Snagging the warden’s car keys and emptying his wallet, she smiled, flashing a dimple at the man .
“I’d take you with, but dude, you’d just slow me down.”

She bent down, smirking as his eyes followed her cleavage, quipping, “thanks for the ride though” and knocked him out with one blow.

Sauntering through the office doors, Faith headed for the guard’s locker rooms.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Oz and Wesley were trading notes, well, Oz was writing while Wesley questioned him, when Rupert returned to the public area of the shop. He was stopped short by a small sound coming from his office.

Hesitating beside the open door, Giles spied Anya sitting at his desk, the day’s receipts spread out before her. Normally this was one of her favorite pastimes, counting the day’s totals, but today, she wasn’t enjoying it. Her hands were fisted around some bills and her head was bowed, tears streaming from her eyes.

“Anya? Is it that bad?” He stepped into the room, concern etched on his features.

She sniffled, wiping her eyes, getting the money all wet. “No. It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“Anya dear, we’ve either lost the shop or. . . what’s wrong?”

Her little laugh ended in a sob. “We haven’t lost the store and my management of our funds won’t allow that. It’s not the shop at all.”

“Ah. Would you tell me anyway what’s troubling you?” He couldn’t imagine what had her so upset, because nothing ever seemed to faze her, she was always so cheerful. ‘I don’t like seeing you this upset.”

“I don’t think Xander loves me the way I want him too.” She put the money down on his desk, turning tear-filled eyes on him. “He ignores me. He yells at me. And I don’t remember why.”

“There, there. I doubt that’s the way of things. You’re just reacting to the stress of the day.” He awkwardly patted her back, unsure of how to help her.

“What stress? I’m not stressed at all. I don’t have any stress.” Anya moved under his arm, putting her head on his chest. “How come he can’t be more like you?”

There wasn’t anything he could say to that, no phrase or comfort he could come up with to make her feel better. So he did what his body, instead of his brain, wanted. Rupert brushed his hand over her hair and pulled her head toward his, sweeping a kiss on her temple, he found himself with an armful of former demon. Anya wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled through her tears. Not liking the look of sadness and despair in her whiskey eyes, Rupert threw caution to the wind and kissed her.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Willow laid small kisses over Tara’s shoulder, her small hands cupping around a soft breast, thumb slowly flicking her nipple. Sliding her body around Tara’s side, she latched onto the nipple, her teeth gently scoring over the puckered flesh. Her fingers trailed downwards, circling her navel, then dipping lower to play between the folds of Tara’s sex.

Her lover arched up into her hands and mouth while Willow’s mind chanted the litany she’d been repeating to herself throughout the day.

This is the way it should be.

I did the right thing.

This is what should be. Where I should be.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


“Yours.” Buffy’s gaze searched his for any hint of untruth, but Spike’s eyes were clear and steady, bright and intense upon her.

“Not far along I’d guess, but I imagine that’s part of why everything’s off. The claim wouldn’t allow any mojo to block it and. . . “ he stopped speaking when a tear dropped on his hand.

“Kitten?”

“I never thought. . . babies weren’t supposed to happen. Slayers aren’t . . . I guess I stopped thinking about a normal life a long time ago. I guess I sort of gave up hope, after being. . . After Riley. Spike? How come I can remember stuff like Riley leaving and Mom being dead and . . . Fighting Glory, but I can’t remember anything else?” Buffy clutched at him, panic starting to filter through her.

“My guess is someone’s got some serious mojo working so we’ll forget.” He got to his feet, pulling her up after him. Reaching under the sink, Spike pulled out some mouthwash. “Here use this.”

Waiting while she did, Spike ran his hand down her back, gliding his arm around her, then splayed his hand over her belly. His voice sounded in her ear, raising gooseflesh and triggering her nerve endings. “When this is all sussed out, kitten, we’re gonna celebrate this news.”

She couldn’t see his reflection in the mirror, but she could imagine the look on his face. When she turned to look at him, Buffy wasn’t disappointed with the guess. His lips met hers in a searing kiss and Spike threaded his hands through her hair. He held her close for long moments, reluctant to release her.

“Let’s go see what the watcher wants.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The Huntsman woke from sleep, eyes unfocused, ears pricked to sounds only he and the hounds under his control could hear. The first hound growled lowly, waking the others.

His face turned to the east, the Huntsman got to his feet.

“Time is on us lads. . . “

His words weren’t necessary, since the hounds too had heard the wind’s whisper and they were at attention, their heads poised, bodies tense and ready to spring.

At the cave’s entrance, the Huntsman stopped. His hand raised and an eerie whistling filled the night, stilling the air.

As one, the hounds bayed into the night, shuffling and edging forward.

Once more the Huntsman paused, whistled, then let loose the hounds of hell.

Their forms were but darker shadows in the night as they sought their prey, gliding on silent padded feet through the streets of the hellmouth.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Angel closed the distance, his strides drawing him nearer and ever nearer to the two oblivious teens.

He could smell their arousal now, so new and unfocused, they couldn’t possibly understand – but he did – oh he did.

Circling around them to meet them head on, Angel wiped his face of any expression. Best to hide behind his other self until it was too late.

Ahhh. . . . there they are.

Keeping his voice carefully neutral, Angel stopped in front of the two. “Hello Dawn.”

Dawn’s head snapped up at the sound of his voice. She hesitated, unsure of why he might be in Sunnydale, wary of his presence. Angel being around was never of the good. “Hey Angel. Looking for Buffy?”

“Yeah, I came to see her. She, ah, wasn’t home.” The lie came easily, but he knew Dawn hadn’t been home since before nightfall, and it was going on eleven. “Shouldn’t you be on your way home?”

“We’re heading there now. Not like you’d know if I had a curfew or anything.” Dawn got in her dig, which he let slide.

“Dawnie?” The boy took her hand, pulling it and her closer to him.

“Sorry. Angel this is my boyfriend Casey. Casey, this is my sister’s ex.” Dawn shrugged, then said despite the alarms going off in her head, “so like she’s probably out, doing that walking thing she does all the time. You should go look for her. C’mon Casey.”

Dawn, tugging Casey behind her, started to move around Angel, who sidestepped to allow her, then caught her arm.

“Yeah, about that. See, the thing is, I can’t let you. Go home that is.”

His grip was tight, not allowing her any movement.

“Angel, what’s your deal? I gotta go home.” She tried pulling away, but his grip tightened on her, bruising her, fingers digging deeply into her skin.

“Dude, we gotta get home. My parents are gonna freak if I get in late.” Casey stepped closer to Dawn, standing between the two of them. Dawn freed her hand from Casey’s grip, winding her fingers around his upper arm. Worry for him became paramount, because Casey had no idea what Angel really was.

“Lemme go. I’ll tell Buffy you’re looking for her.” Dawn managed to free her arm from Angel’s grasp, starting off toward Revello Drive. “See ya.”

“Dawn. I can’t let you go.” This time he pulled on her hair, fisting it around his hand. His voice was low, yet the menace was clear. “You are my message to your sister.”

“Casey. Run.” Dawn ground out, fighting against the pain of her hair being pulled. “Get to the Magic Box. Get Buffy. Or Spike.”

He stared at her for a few seconds, indecision clear on his features. Her head was almost horizontal now, Angel tugging her closer and closer to him. Tears sprang to her eyes and Dawn pleaded with her boyfriend. “Casey. Go, please.”

Angel grabbed her by the throat. “Enough talking Dawnie.” He glanced at the boy. “That’s it. Be a man. Run while your girlfriend protects you.”

Fighting off Dawn’s struggles, Angel lifted her by the neck, her feet inches from the ground. “That’s it Dawn. Fight me.”

Casey hit him just under his upraised arm, almost knocking him off his feet, loosening his grip around Dawn’s neck. Grabbing her hand, Casey tugged her after him, his feet already moving. “C’mon Dawn, we gotta move.”

She was coughing, trying to draw in breath so she could run, but Dawn couldn’t open her throat to speak, much less scream. So when Angel once again grabbed her, all the signal Casey got was her being pulled from his hand.

Casey whirled around, looking about for Dawn. There was a crumpled form a few feet away and Casey ran toward it, recognizing her jacket. Blood darkened her face, her jacket but she was breathing, because he could hear the harsh gasps rasping from her throat. “Oh god Dawnie. Oh god.”

He knelt down beside her, pushing aside the hair covering her face and nearly threw up. Long furrows had been raked over her face, splitting open the skin of her cheek. Gathering her up, Casey tried to get to his feet with her in his arms.

Staggering upright, he nearly dropped her twice before he got twenty feet, but he tightened his grip on her and set off for Sunnydale General. He’d call her sister from the hospital.

So focused on Dawn, Casey never realized his every footstep was being followed.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


“So what’s the sitch?” Buffy faced two watchers, one vampire, one werewolf and an ex-demon and didn’t feel that was the least bit strange.

“Oz says it was Angel that attacked him. Wesley’s got a list of what feels off. And Faith called.” Giles furrowed his brow, adding, “I realize that none of this makes any sense and I believe that is a large part of our problem.”

Wesley spoke next. “It appears someone – whether human or demon – attempted some sort of spell and somehow the mating bond you and Spike share partially blocked the effects of said spell. And in doing so, it altered the stability of the entire spell.”

“The problem appears to be there are other events or situations the spellcaster was ignorant of.” Giles took up the litany. “And while that shouldn’t normally affect a spell, in this case, those circumstances appear to be triggering our memories of what actually is going on – opposed to what the spell is actually telling us. Or rather what our altered reality is telling us.”

“So that means? What exactly?” Buffy’s head was swimming. Giving in to her impulse, she pushed Spike back from the table and sat down on his lap, which mirrored his earlier impulse.

Strangely enough, no one else batted an eye. Anya had already closed the shop and Connor was sleeping quietly in his stroller. Spike laced his hands around her, then brushed a kiss on her shoulder. The talk continued and Buffy closed her eyes for a minute and promptly fell asleep.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


She ditched the car in south-central Los Angeles, stealing another one more than two miles away. Faith figured they’d spend a while looking for her in Los Angeles and by the end of the week they’d start looking in Sunnydale for her. Might not ever stop searching LA, coz this piece of shit is probably stolen also.

That’s what she was hoping for anyway.

Every time she passed a cop she tensed up, her entire body on wild alert. Gotta chill. So far so good. Just gotta keep my cool.

Faith drove through the night, anxiety keeping her adrenaline high.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Angel watched the boy falter again.

Safety and the hospital weren’t that far away – but he wasn’t going to let them reach the false sanctuary.

“You’re a brave boy. Carrying a bleeding girl through the streets of the hellmouth with who knows what kinds of demons following you.” Angel’s tone was conversational, but it still made the hair on the back of Casey’s neck stand up.

“What the fuck? Dude, get the hell away from us.” Casey kept walking, trying to ignore the looming figure matching him step for step.

“Wow. That’s no way to greet the guy who’s been watching your back for the last half hour.” Angel shook his head. “I’m really disappointed.”

“Look, dude, I don’t know who you are and I don’t really care. You hurt my girlfriend. So just leave us alone.” Casey’s tone was a mix between belligerent bravado and rising fear. Dawn started stirring, soft whimpers sounding in the air and Casey tried picking up his pace, but his arms and back weren’t strong enough to carry Dawn’s inert form for so long and he was tiring. He faltered and Angel snickered.

“You’re going to drop her. There’s no way you’re going to make it to the hospital. Face it boy, you just aren’t strong enough.” The grin broadened and Angel laughed when Casey stumbled.

“Such a foolish brave boy. Too bad you won’t ever be a man.”

Angel struck, knocked Dawn from his hands, the blow rocking Casey nearly off his feet, splitting his lip and snapping his head back.

Casey reeled, shaking his head. “What the fuck? What is your problem?”

“Your girl is my problem. Her existence and her sister’s.” Angel circled round him, kicking Dawn in the side as he moved around her.

Casey shouted, then raced back to Dawn’s side, dropping to his knees. “You’re a sick fuck, beating on girls.”

He tried lifting her in his arms, but the hit Angel had given him hurt more than he’d thought. He watched the bigger man warily, as he tried instead to wake up Dawn. “C’mon, Dawnie, wake up, gotta help me here.”

“You’re calling me sick, boy? What do you call a guy who hides behind his girl? I’d call him a pussy. . . weak. . . pathetic.”

Faster than he could follow, Angel punched Casey twice, knocking his head back and opening a second cut over his right eye.

The teenager stumbled again to his feet, once he realized that Dawn was coming too. He needed to protect her – and if that meant getting his ass kicked, well, he’d recover. “You always pick on guys smaller than you?”

Hiding her movements from Angel, Dawn wiped away the blood from her face and tried not to make any noise. A thought surfaced through the pain, one that she didn’t question, just followed. Slipping her hand into her jacket, Dawn located her cell phone and rolling over, shielded it from view. Punching in a sequence of numbers – ones she had no idea what they meant or why – Dawn closed the phone, left it on the ground and slowly got to her feet.

“Leave him alone Angel. He doesn’t know.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Spike was getting Buffy comfortable on the training room couch while the others were doing more research in the other room when more than one cell phone began chirping.

Almost immediately, some stopped, leaving only two still beeping and Spike was searching the duster’s pockets since one source appeared to be there when Wesley’s voice reached him.

“Spike. Dawn’s in trouble.”

“What? How do you know?” He looked up sharply, as his free hand began shaking Buffy awake. “Kitten, Niblet’s in trouble, wake up.”

“The cell phones. Her name popped up on the caller ID and her approximate location, together with what Rupert believes is a ‘code red’.” Wesley was grabbing weapons as he talked, tossing Spike a sword and then he turned toward the doorway.

“Buffy, wake up now.” Spike grabbed his duster and shrugged it on.

“What’s wrong?” She peered at him through sleepy eyes.

“Watchers say Dawn’s in trouble. Came through on the cell phones.” He held out a hand, helping her to her feet.

“Where is she?” Buffy snagged the sword from him, speaking as she walked through the doorway, her mind racing with endless possibilities, none of them good.





Let me know what you think