Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox studios. This story is not meant to infringe upon anyone's rights, only to entertain.


Chapter 8 - Exile

“Ooouuuccchh!”, Buffy cried out.

“Well you better be more careful next time, pet”, Spike said grinning as he carefully pulled another thorn from Buffy’s arm.

“Well you didn’t tell me the demon had thorns.”

“Hey, I got the sodding lot of it!”, Spike said showing off his left side littered with small red pierce wounds.

“Yeah, but you were wearing that thick leather duster. My denim jacket is ruined.”, she said pouting.

Shaking his head not really wanting to argue, Spike pulled the last two projectiles that had lodged into Buffy’s right arm. “I told you not to come. I could be in a bar right now, downing some Jack if I didn’t have to take care of you.”

“I’m sorry.” Buffy said lowering her gaze to the floor.

Letting out a sigh Spike looked at Buffy and wondered how he had sunk so low – self-inflicted exile from his coven and babysitting a teenage human to boot. He decided to do what he had wanted to do for a while now. He stayed in Sunnydale but left the protection of the coven, not wanting to deal with all the bullshit that was going on. Buffy, of course, went with him.

He filled his nights with blood and violence wherever he could get it, and she insisted on being with him reasoning that she didn't want to be alone, just in case Angelus decided to come take her. He thought the bint was paranoid. All she had to do, was stay in the room they were renting and just not invite any other vampire or baddies in. But he learned the hard way that it was useless arguing with her. At least when they went out, she wasn’t entirely useless and she was a quick study too. Apparently she was a cheerleader in high school and her quick reflexes and gymnastics training came in handy at times. He grinned evilly for a second at the thought of seeing her lithe body doing summersaults in a skimpy cheerleader outfit.

He never understood why she even stayed with him after he repeatedly told her to leave. What was even stranger was the fact that he had no real desire to turn her at all. She had begged him a number of times now… wanting to be stronger so she could take care of herself, but something deep down Spike didn’t think it was well … right. He dismissed it of course as not wanting to lose his favorite pet. Her blood was divine and at times he would swear that it tastes better now than when he had first tasted it.

He found himself staring at her as she dressed her wounds. Her hair up in a ponytail, her face full of determination. She had changed a lot since fate decided to throw them together. She wasn’t as squeamish when it came to demons or vampires feeding, most of the time rolling her eyes at him when he decided to get a little snack. But lately he found himself drinking more bagged blood than he would ever care to admit. There was like an unwritten agreement between them. He knew she liked it better when he didn’t feed on the innocent and it seemed like she was more willing to offer herself to him when he did what she liked. He wondered if he was losing his edge with her here.

“Buffy…”

“Yeah”

“Why?”

“Why what?!”

“Why are you still here? I can help you get out of here. Go to L.A. You can be with your Dad. I mean, this is the bloody sodding Hellmouth.”

“I told you …”, she said obviously fighting back some tears. “I can’t leave my Mom.”
"Gah, shouldn’t have brought that one up!", Spike thought as he recounted the events in his head. Buffy had found her mother and it really wasn’t the reunion she was looking for. She was in a coma and things didn’t look too hopeful. Apparently after Angelus took Buffy in, he had it arranged for her mom to get into a little accident, thus ensuring that Buffy had no one else to turn to. Spike had to endure a good bout of sobbing that day, one that he didn’t want to be repeated. Yet he just held her close that day as she crooned into his chest.

“You can go to your Dad, then you can transfer your Mom over there.”

“Is this another one of your I’m-a-bloody-vampire-so-piss-off speeches? Because I’m so not in the mood to hear this.”

“Well you’re a bloody idiot! I don’t know what you think we’re doing here, but this isn’t a game and it’s certainly not the kind of life you should be living.”

“Well vampire, as you’ve told me over and over again, you’re not my keeper. So I can…”

“Buffy! The things I do.. the long nights, the drinking, the fights … it’s not for some sense of justice. This is who I am … a vampire and I’m bloody proud to be one. And right now, I need to get stronger, need to be better than Angelus to get Dru back.”

“I know what this is about. You’ve told me before. But… do you really think I can go on knowing what I know now? What he’s done to me?”, she said staring at the floor in utter shame. “He was your sire, you know what he can do. I see him in my dreams Spike, hear him calling to me, using me and I want it all to stop. I’m scared he’ll come after me and the only time I feel safe, feel like I can be myself again, is when I’m with you”

Spike heard the words spilling from her mouth and he wasn’t sure what to make of it. Should he be insulted that after over a century of chaos and destruction he was reduced to this – having one human, a girl in fact, feel peace with him? Or should he listen to her heart, her pain, her blood as it called to whatever semblance of humanity he had left. She offered her life to him almost every night, and each time he found himself protecting it instead of taking it.

“Spike?”

“Yeah?”

“She doesn’t deserve you.”

“What?”, he said raising an eyebrow and hating the fact that she kept pushing at his emotions.

“All that you’re doing… for her … she doesn’t deserve you.”

“Oh, are we a bleeding love doctor now? What do you know about love?”

She fell silent. He was right. She’d been with boys before but she knew when they all ended that it wasn’t love. She was by no means an expert. All she knew was that the way he talked about her and what she’d learn, Spike treated Dru like a goddess. And now, despite Dru being with Angelus which was beyond Buffy’s comprehension, Spike still pinned for her, fought for her… doing everything he could to win her back and it didn’t even seem like she cared. She let out a sigh and knew it was useless to say anything else. She stood up to walk to the bathroom to wash her hands. As she turned around, she let out a yelp in surprise as Spike stood there blocking her path. She didn't hear him move.

He stood there watching her, wondering why he was even entertaining the notion that was buzzing in his head. Maybe he was just hungry. It had been months since he’d touch a woman and though the idea of drinking from her was pleasure enough, his body yearned for something more. Every time he tasted her, he felt that subtle move of her body, the fleeting caress of her hands as she almost always now locked her arms around his neck. He ignored it every single time not knowing why. But now as her heart called to him like it always did, he wondered if she would open herself up to him. And he thought about what she would do if he replied to her subtle hints. He searched her eyes, trying to figure out what she was thinking… trying to see what she apparently saw in him. There was no fear in her eyes. The one emotion that Spike knew and yearned for in his victims wasn’t there – not for him. He reached out for her neck, his fingers following the curve of each mark he had inflicted on her and still there was no fear. She looked up at him and smiled, a quiet anticipation tugging at her lips. He lowered his head and they slipped into an embrace they both have come to know well. Spike heard the familiar muffled moan escape her lips and her hands gently caressing the nape of his neck as he let her sweet blood slowly pool before lapping it up. He entertained notions in his head, letting a little bit more of his demon come through.

Buffy felt him pressing against her and though his body was cold, she found a warmth and a longing there. She knew it would end soon. Once the calm washes over her, he would pull away and she knew deep down that she never wanted him to leave. He snaked his arms around her, pulling her closer and she could feel him moving slowly against her hips. She closed her eyes and snuggled closer, as she felt a longing build below her waist.