~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




CHAPTER 2
The Longest Night

They came back to the room in the early hours of morning, exotic birds noisily waking up around them, making the dark night come alive with unfamiliar sounds.

“D’ja hear that bird, Spikey? Sounds weird.”

“S’not a bird, Slayer. I think it’s a bug. Thing must be bloody huge to make that sound.”

She stopped and took a quick look around, not sure if she should believe him or not, then snorted. “Yeah right.”

Spike sneaked his arm behind her back and ghosted a finger along her bare arm, making her gasp and jump in fright.

“Hey! That was sooooo not funny!” She yelled indignantly.

“Wot? The mighty Slayer’s afraid of a little bug?”

“Am so not!” She started singing again and Spike rolled his eyes.

The hotel had a main lobby with the main restaurant and bar, and the rooms were in five smaller three story buildings with paths leading to them. Just reaching the right one had been an adventure in itself, and stopping Buffy from jumping in the pool with all her clothes on and possibly drowning… a tour de force. The Slayer had broken her ‘alcohol equals badness’ rule and was more than a little tipsy. She was singing so loudly that Spike had to walk with his hand covering her mouth after the second person yelled at her to shut the hell up and she had threatened to use her Slayer strength on them. Not that he cared personally--he was always up for a bit of entertainment--but he was sure she would care in the morning after she sobered up to find out that they were being kicked out of the hotel. Spike wouldn’t allow anything to ruin her well deserved vacation, even if it meant risking a finger.

With a yelp, he quickly removed his hand from her mouth as she attempted to bite him.

“A Slayer biting a vampire. How beautifully ironic.” Spike snickered.

He stopped in front of the door and fumbled with the key card for a few seconds, swearing under his breath. Buffy was leaning against the door frame, batting her eyelashes innocently at him, a Cheshire cat grin on her lips. Seeing that Spike was a second away from losing patience and breaking the door down, she finally spoke.

“might be drunk ’n loud, but even I know thish’s not our broom…. Rooooommm.” She giggled happily at Spike’s angry snarl and pointed at the door on the other side. “Thish is where we live, doofus.”

Spike went to the other door and opened it with one sweep of the card. Buffy walked in and dropped on her bed like a rag doll. She giggled madly, obviously still amused by the wrong door incident.

Spike took off his shirt and tossed it on the bed. He rolled his eyes at Buffy’s antics. “You’re a riot, Summers. I thought you were knackered. Why don’t you go to sleep?”

She pouted, still sprawled on the bed, staring at the ceiling fan. “That was earlier. This is now. Not tired. More volcano coconut drinks thingy with the tiny umbrella… Please.”

The blonde vampire tried his best to look stern, but he couldn’t help the smile tugging at his lips. “You know I hate to say no to you, pet…”

She sat up quickly, hope written plainly in her eyes. “So we can go back then?”

“… but as much as it pains me to disappoint you, NO.”

She braced herself on her elbows and did her best attempt at giving him a murderous glare… which turned out to be more comical than threatening, but she got an A for effort.

“And no amount of evil looks or pouting will make me change my mind about this one so don’t waste your time. Besides, the bartender cut you off when you started singing that horrible Copacabana song. God bless that poor sod for stopping you before my ears started to bleed.”

“I’ll have you know that I’m a very good singer. I’ll prove it to you. We’ll go to Karaoke tomorrow night and I’ll sing Wind Beneath my Wings. You’ll have no choice but to admit that I’m the bestest singer EVER.”

Spike, who was balancing on one foot to take off his boot, almost fell on his ass. “Karaoke?” He said, a touch of panic in his voice. “Huh… I have previous engagement… with the telly. I think they’re showing reruns of Baywatch. Bloody brilliant show. Can’t miss it.”

Buffy let herself drop back on the bed, arms and legs spread out comfortably. She yawned loudly. “You’re just a big undead meanie.”

He smiled affectionately at her. Sure, he was teasing her, but he loved seeing her like this. He’d endure hours of Karaoke if it would get her to smile. The last couple of months had been tough on her and hearing her laugh again was heaven to him. He wanted her to enjoy herself the way a twenty year old was supposed to.

“Did you have fun, pet?” He finally asked, all teasing gone from his voice.

Buffy smiled, her heavy eyelids fluttering shut. “So much fun.” She mumbled, already half asleep.

“Glad to hear it.”

He turned to go to the bathroom thinking she’d already fallen asleep, when she spoke again.

“Spike?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

“For what, luv?”

“Yah know… All of this. I know it was your idea, no matter what Xander said. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome Buffy. But the fact that you’re enjoying yourself is enough of a thank you for me. That‘s all I wanted.” He smiled at her almost shyly and shifted on his feet, looking somewhat uncomfortable. “I’ll… go take a shower. Get some sleep, pet.”

She opened her eyes again after he shut the bathroom door and sighed. She listened intently to the sounds coming from the bathroom, trying to imagine what he was doing in there. Silence, things being moved around, more silence, then the shower being turned on. It automatically conjured images of wet naked Spike and she shut her eyes, trying to make the thoughts go away. She knew sleep was not in her near future.

Buffy was drunk, but not nearly as much as she looked--just enough to have a bit of fun and not care about anything. For the first time in forever, she was truly enjoying herself. Tonight, she’d been free to just be a girl on vacation without worrying about what anyone thought. No responsibilities, no world saving obligations, no need to be all grown up for Dawn’s sake, no friends looking up to her and expecting her to be perfect. It felt so amazing to just be Buffy for once. And Spike had been great company. She smiled to herself while remembering how much he’d made her laugh, images of the blonde man with a tiny pink paper umbrella behind his ear flashing through her mind. They’d even shared a pina colada with two straws, racing to see how fast they could get to the bottom of it. She’d never seen Spike shed his Big Bad image so completely before, and she knew he’d done it for her.

When the bathroom door opened, Buffy blinked several times to adjust her eyes to the sudden brightness. Spike stood in the doorway, framed by the light coming from the steamy bathroom. He was barefoot, wearing only a white towel around his lean hips and was rubbing his wet hair with another towel. He turned to throw it on the counter and turn the light off. Buffy listened to the sound of his bare feet slapping lightly on the white ceramic tiles as he made his way to his bed. He pulled the covers back and the mattress creaked lightly as he climbed into the bed. Towel still covering him, he slipped under the sheet and after a quick struggle, he pulled it out from under the covers and let it drop to the floor.

Buffy bit her lower lip and shut her eyes tighter, trying to forget the fact that Spike was now naked underneath that thin cotton sheet.

“’night, Slayer.”

“Good night, Spike.”

Buffy tossed and turned for a while, before finally settling on her back with a sigh. Spike was trying to imagine what kind of thoughts could keep her awake and make her fidget like that, but soon, his own treacherous mind drifted to forbidden territories. Places he didn’t want to go. The entire year that just went by, for one thing. How he’d completely lost control over his own life since the fateful night he’d told the Slayer he loved her, a little over a year ago.

He hadn’t told her since that night. And he would never say the words ‘I love you’ to her again, unless he knew for a fact that his feelings would be welcomed. It had hurt too much. This kind of rejection was something he wouldn’t be able to deal with again. Not after his summer in Hell mourning the woman whose memory had branded his heart so painfully. The torment had lasted three months. 147 days. Unable to wash her off his skin, refusing to ever move on, not seeing a possible ending to his pain. All this time, he had been living in the shadow of a woman who was no more, clinging to a ghost and refusing to ever let go of her because then she’d really be gone. It had been the worst and longest 147 days of his unlife.

There was something to remind him of her around every corner. A sidewalk where she’d stood while telling him to get lost, the coffee shop where she’d sipped on her double mocha with whipped cream, the cemetery where she’d fought with him, the Bronze where she’d danced so many times, everything in Sunnydale was about Buffy Summers. He couldn’t stay, but he couldn’t leave either. Besides the obvious reason that was Dawn, and the promise he’d made to protect the girl with his unlife, leaving Sunnydale would have been like leaving Buffy behind. That would never be an option. So he had stayed.

And 147 days later, the unthinkable had happened. Buffy. Breathing and living. As beautiful as ever, maybe even more beautiful if possible. She’d been standing on the stairs at the Summers’ house, the exact same place she’d been standing so many months before when they talked for the last time. She was a vision. An angel. He hadn’t known what to say then, choked as he was by his overflowing emotions. He had promised himself that he would talk to her next time they were alone. Tell her all these things he had regretted not telling her before it was too late. And that included ‘I love you’. But when she’d shown up at his crypt the night after, the way she came to him for comfort, opened her heart to him… that was more than he’d ever expected from her and he wouldn’t ruin it. He had made a decision: he would not tell her again. He’d be grateful for her friendship, keep it precious, and do everything he could to be deserving of it. God help him, he still loved her--possibly even more than he did before--but he’d keep it to himself instead of showering her with unwanted love words that could possibly ruin what they had now.

She would probably never let herself love him, but at least they had grown closer. Her friendship was the crumb he had begged for what seemed like a lifetime ago, and now, he was trying not to be greedy by asking for more. He’d asked for a crumb, not a slice of bread. And definitely not the whole bloody loaf. So friendship was good. Didn’t mean he couldn’t dream though.

Spike turned on his back, his arms crossed under his head, and waited for the elusive sleep to wash over him while listening to the breathing of the woman he loved laying in the bed next to him. She wasn’t asleep either, but he would have never guessed that her thoughts mirrored his own.

Buffy was laying on her side, clutching her pillow in her arms, and wishing that the vampire--no, man--laying in the bed next to hers would join her and wrap his arms around her. Not that she would ever say that out loud.

Insecurity had crept into her heart over the past few months when it came to the vampire’s feelings for her and her own feelings for him. The relationship between them had gone from one-way love to two-way friendship… which should have been a good thing. But it did raise questions in Buffy’s mind, and she was too scared of the answers to chance asking herself the questions.

One night a few months ago, soon after she came back from the dead, she’d had the sudden urge to throw him against a wall and take him. All of him. She had been confused--a lot more than she was now--and didn’t know what to make of the new found closeness between them. Of course, there had always been this deeply repressed lust for him, but there was also this new connection and feelings she couldn’t understand. Everything had changed so fast and she was reacting on pure instinct. She was so cold inside and the only thing that made her feel the warmth she craved was being around him. But something had stopped her and she was glad now that she had fought the impulse that might have ruined things between them. It had been too soon, their relationship new and fragile. But was now a better time? Could they work together as a couple or would it destroy everything they tried so hard to build? Would she hurt him?

These were just a few of the questions she didn’t want to ask herself. Fear was stopping her from taking the leap because she couldn’t lose him. Spike had become too important to her over the past five months she’d been back. He had helped her through some truly difficult moments of this third chance at life she hadn’t wanted in the first place. It had been so hard, she had been so angry at her friends for forcing her back. She thought she didn’t have a choice, but he’d shown her she was wrong. She had the choice to feel sorry for herself and ensure that life would be as miserable as she could make it, or start fresh and try to enjoy this borrowed time on earth. He had been the rock in her life. The shoulder she had been leaning on for the past five and a half months until she could do nothing but slowly warm up to him and start to see what had been right under her nose all this time. Spike was worthy. He was what she’d been looking for all along, she was just too blinded by her prejudice and past experience with Angel to see it. Angel couldn’t in any way be compared to Spike. They were like night and day.

Now, she felt like she had reached a point in the road where she could either keep going or take a turn. The problem was she didn‘t know what she‘d find if she decided to take the new direction. It could be perfect and make them both happy, or it could turn ugly and they’d lose everything. It was tempting to just leave things as they were. It was safe and comfortable, but at the same time, her heart was screaming at her to stop being an idiot and tell him how she felt.

Maybe if he‘d take the first step and tell her he loved her, it would be easier. But because of her actions in the not so distant past, he wouldn’t utter the words anymore and she had to rely on what his gorgeous blue eyes were telling her. She couldn’t blame him for being shy with words though, considering the way she’d reacted the first time he’d confessed his feelings to her. And no matter how hard she tried to remember the way her mind worked back then, Buffy couldn’t understand why she’d reacted so violently to his declaration. God knows her reaction would be different now.

Too bad he seemed content enough with the relationship they had now. She wasn’t. So she tossed and turned in the bed, restless and praying that something would happen soon. Or else, the vacation in Hawaii might just be a very long one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~