Disclaimer: Joss owns all.

Author’s note: Thanks to all my reviewers! Quotes from Anne and Dead Man’s party
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Buffy walked through the crowd of minions that littered the main floor of the warehouse. She had no idea why exactly Spike needed the minions. Frankly they creeped her out. Always looking like they wanted to make her their next meal. Which they probably did.

This had been the same warehouse that Spike had resided in the last time he was in LA. Not much had changed. Except now there were more minions. Buffy walked back to her room, the one she shared with Spike. They had been in LA now for a month. Dru had taken off soon after they go here, spouting something about dangerous babies and sad daddies and how that would effect Miss Edith’s eating habits. Buffy couldn’t say she was sorry Dru had gone.

Buffy flopped on the four poster bed and kicked her legs up in the air. She hated the minions. It didn’t matter how much Spike told her that they would not hurt her or how much they professed their loyalty to her, now that she was their master’s prize. Cause that’s what they saw her as. A prize. Someday, maybe she would be their mistress, taking Dru’s place, but for now, she was status, she was a trophy.

Spike didn’t treat her like a trophy, really. He let her come and go as she wanted. She enjoyed spending his money on clothes and makeup. She felt kept. He didn’t like her going out at night slaying demons. He was far too overprotective of her. Buffy had suggested getting a job, and maybe getting an actual apartment. That idea was emphatically turned down.

As much as Buffy enjoyed shopping and clubbing, after a month of nothing but, Buffy was bored. She had no friends, except Spike. She never went anywhere she could meet people. When they went out, Spike kept her to himself. She was arm candy. It was kind of like being a housewife, with out a house to clean (cause the minions did that) or kids to look after (cause technically, she was the kid). What did other vampires (not minions) do all day...night to keep them occupied?

Buffy rolled over on the bed and reached out to take a drink out of her water bottle, only to hear Spike enter the room.

“It’s the middle of the day Spike, where have you been?” she nagged.

“Couple of the minions had a disagreement that needed to sorted. It’s all done now.” he said wearily, dropping down beside her on the bed.

“Was it about me?” she asked quietly.

“As usual.” Spike fell back on to the bed and covered his eyes with his hands. “A couple of the older ones, they decided that you needed a ladies maid. The candidates were fighting for the right to brush your hair.”

Buffy broke out into laughter. This hadn’t been what she’d expected. Spike chuckled too. Buffy rolled and covered his body with hers.

“Spike?”

“Ya love?”

“I’m bored.”

“It’s 10 in the morning pet, it’s time to sleep.”

“No, I want to get a job, or take a course, or join a gym or something.”

Spike let his hand drop from his eyes. His eyes searched hers for a moment before answering.

“No”

Buffy slapped her hands down on his chest and pushed herself up off of him.

“Why not? Why do I have to stay in this fucking POS warehouse all day long. Why can I only go out when you want me to? Why can’t I do something? I’m not going to stay here and learn how to knit sweaters for all the minions Spike! I want to go to the beach!”

Buffy paced the room.

Spike watched his Goldilocks walk back and forth. All he wanted to do right now was sleep. He had lied to her, the minions weren’t fighting over being her ladies maid, though he was pretty impressed with himself that she had bought that excuse. It had been the usual fight. One of the minions wanted to drain her. Spike was getting tired of all the challenges to his authority that came popping up because she was alive and a slayer to boot.

But did he want to turn her now? He was almost afraid that she wouldn’t come back the way she was (with the exception of the soul). He didn’t think he could go through another botched turning, like his mother. The problem was, if he didn’t turn her, what was keeping her here with him? He knew that she was suffering from not having her super friends around.

Spike raised himself on his elbows and faced her.

“Alright pet, a warehouse is no place for my Goldilocks, Go out and get yourself an apartment, close by mind you. I’ll furnish it.”

Buffy stopped pacing and looked at her lover.

“Do you mean it?”

“Yes, pet, I mean it.”

Buffy launched herself into his embrace.

“Thank you!” she gushed.

The couple settled down on the bed. Spike quickly nodded off. Buffy on the other hand lay there thinking. It seemed like an easy victory for her. Complain enough and you get what you wanted.
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Buffy supervised the minions bringing her new stuff into her new apartment. Buffy still couldn’t believe that Spike had not only told the minions where her new house was, but that he had them move furniture too. This of course had required her to stand at the entrance for a good fifteen minutes inviting them all in! The Master Vampire had been so infuriating about it too. Said something about the fact that she could do an uninvite spell whenever she wanted anyway.

Her apartment was nice, large square footage, the building had a residents only gym and pool, which Buffy liked. The kitchen was small, but that was ok, cause Buffy and cooking, two worlds that should never collide. She had been eating at restaurants and take out for over a month now, so she could potentially try her hand at something simple. How hard is it to screw up Mac and cheese?

Having a proper kitchen with a fridge, was something new for her. Sure there had been fridges at the warehouse, but she was always afraid to open them, suspecting that a dead body would pop out at her. Spike had made no effort to curb his feeding from people habit he had. Nor had he encouraged his minions to stop the killing either. Buffy would never tell him, but it bothered her, a lot, that she was the slayer and was living under the same roof as a nest of vampires. If the council ever knew, she would be defrocked, or destaked, or whatever they did to Slayers that pissed them off. They would take away her secret decoder ring and slayer handbook, well if she had gotten a handbook to begin with. She was a bad slayer and she knew it.

That was why she had to get out. Buffy knew that she was living on Spike’s good graces. He could turn her whenever he wanted to, she was in enough vulnerable positions when she was around him he could do it and she would never be able to put up a fight.

She wondered often why he hadn’t done it. She certainly wasn’t the easiest creature to live with. The minions were always fighting about how she should be killed, Spike constantly had to reassert his dominance over his clan. But he had promised that he wouldn’t do it until her 19th birthday. And with Spike, a promise was sacred. Unless a loop hole could be found. His betrayal for using Angel to cure Dru’s weakness fluttered through her brain.

Buffy felt her eyes tear up. Remembering Angel always brought the sobbing on. She couldn’t help but blame herself. It was the most horrible birthday ever. She desperately wanted to not care. Was doing a good job of it too, but every once in a while....

Buffy turned her attention to the four minions who were trying to force Spike’s iron, four poster bed into the bed room.

“Hey! You are going to take the door frame off” she yelled.

The minion grumbled. It must really frost his cookies taking orders from his master’s human pet and the slayer too. Buffy chuckled to herself, only to find herself suddenly under an attacking minion. Buffy rolled out from under the bulky vampire and slipped a stake out from its hiding place. In one fluid motion the minion was dust.

“Does anyone have any more problems?” Buffy asked the group. The remaining minions shook their heads. “Good, now move it!”
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Buffy curled up against the cool vampire body that inhabited her bed. July had turned obscenely hot in LA. Along with all the rolling blackouts, she was glad that she had some means to cool herself off.

Buffy rolled away from her sleeping lover and stared at the ceiling. She had missed Independence day this year. She had seen no fireworks, had eaten no apple pie or hotdogs. She hadn’t even realised it was July 4th until one of the minions, who was delivering something for Spike had mentioned it casually, stating that the whole clan was going out to feast on the families gone out to watch the fireworks.

Now he was home, full of other peoples’ blood. Buffy’s stomach heaved. She bolted out of bed and to her bathroom.

She dry heaved over the toilet for a few minutes, cursing herself for not eating today. Buffy looked into the mirror and stared at the gaunt figure in front of her. She had lost a lot of weight since she had arrived in LA. Not once had she even used the stove in her fabulously wonderful apartment.

Buffy turned and looked at her lover through the bathroom doorway. She did love him. But it was doing things to her. She had stopped Slaying, except for errant minions, she had stopped eating, she had stopped enjoying sex.

It was that last thing that Spike had begun to notice. It wasn’t that she was falling out of love with him, she still couldn’t see herself without him, it was a question of what he was versus what she was. She had lived with it for 2 months, and before that, she had turned a blind eye in Sunnydale. Living with the undead made her unworthy to live.

But did she want to die? That was the question. She was killing herself slowly anyway, why not tell Spike to just turn her?

Classic avoido girl took charge and got dressed. She needed to get out of there. She couldn’t look at him. Yes he was a vampire, that she accepted, but this vampire killed people she was suppose to protect, and she hadn’t been doing that much either.
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Buffy walked into a 24 hr diner and ordered a coffee. She smiled at the waitress. She didn’t look happy with the overnight shift she had been dealt.

“You new in the area?” asked the waitress plunking down her coffee. “We mostly get the regulars here, mostly drunks and weirdos at night.”

Buffy guessed she wasn’t considered one of the weirdos. She smiled.

“Ya, I’m new in town, bumming around, living with a friend.”

“Night owl?”

“Very much,” Buffy sipped her coffee. “I hardly ever see the sun anymore.”

“Ya, I know what that’s like. My husband owns this place, I get stuck with the night shift more often than I like, staff’s scared of working late in this neighbourhood.”

“I don’t blame them.” Buffy looked into her coffee. An idea occurred to her. “You looking to hire any more people for the night shift?”
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It was dawn, and after her coffee, Buffy really didn’t have anything to do. She did know that she didn’t want to go back home. She had filled out an application at the diner, and she knew that if Spike found out, there would be yelling. He was probably wondering where she was right now anyway. Buffy stuffed her hands into her pants pockets and trudged off in the direction of home.

If this was what life like a vampire was like, count me out Buffy thought to herself. She already kept vamp hours, there was no tanning, or beaches in vamp world. The only parties Spike had taken her to were ones hosted by other vamps, or where he was looking to pick up dinner. Sure they went clubbing, but that was really an excuse for him to get take out too.

Buffy stretched her hands out in front of her. Her tanned skin was faded and dull. I wonder if he realises I’m unhappy?

Buffy opened the door of her apartment to see Spike standing in the middle of the living room mad as hell. Their eyes met, and she burst into tears.
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“Anne?” asked Helen.

Buffy looked up from punching in a customer’s bill into the cash register. She had been working at the diner for a week, not exactly being honest with Spike.

“Ya?”

“The guy at table five is glaring at you, you’d better get over there ASAP, if you still want any kind of tip.”

Buffy smiled warmly at her boss, and finished printing out the bill. Buffy looked up at table five to see a pair of green eyes staring back at her. Buffy gulped. Quickly depositing the cheque for table three on the table, Buffy approached table five with caution.

“Buffy,” said her newest customer.

“I’m going by my middle name right now.” she said taking out her note pad and pen. “Can I get you anything?”

“Coffee.”

“Right.”

Buffy walked away and to the coffee pot. Returning to her customer with the pot she glanced around the restaurant noting that if he wanted to make a scene, there was only a few people that would hear the yelling.

Buffy poured the caffeinated beverage, waiting for the verbal onslaught.

“Why didn’t you call me?”

Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Sure, cause you answer phone calls.”

“Ok, maybe I haven’t been as available as I should have been. That’s still no excuse. You were in trouble. I could have helped sweetheart.”

Buffy moved to table three and picked up the money that was left, and started wiping down the table.

“Buf...Anne, don’t you ignore me!”

“I’m working here, DAD!”

“I know, look, I’m sorry. I just...you should be home, with your mother, who loves you and your friends, enjoying your summer, not working in a diner during the graveyard shift.”

“I like working here.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“I am. I like working here. The people are nice. Quiet...it’s quiet and no one bothers me. That was, until you showed up.”

“Sweetheart, your mother is frantic with worry about you. Your friends miss you. It’s been months, at least call your mother and let her know that you are ok?”

“Why? So she can say that she’s disappointed with me? Or that I’m not the daughter she wanted? I’m too difficult?”

“Buffy, your mother told me about this Slayer business,” her father whispered.

Buffy’s face went pale.

“I don’t pretend to understand it all, but I trust your mother where you are concerned. She tells me that you’ve been in conflict with some very unsavoury characters, no doubt you’ve got reason to feel that no one understands you, we just ask for a chance.”

“Mom had her chance in May. The night she kicked me out of the house.”

“She didn’t mean that Buffy.”

“My. Name. Is. ANNE!”

“Fine, whatever, Anne. It’s late. I’ve got a client meeting tomorrow. I’ll call you tomorrow afternoon ok?”

Buffy stared at her father. “How did you get my phone number?” No one had that phone number, except work. The only reason she had a phone was because it was attached to the security system for the building.

“Your mother gave it to me.”

But how did my mom get it?
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Buffy stormed into her apartment. She hadn’t even bothered to change out of her uniform from the diner. What was the point of hiding anymore? Buffy walked into her bedroom and threw her shoe at the sleeping figure on her bed.

“Bloody Hell! What the fuck are you doing!” he yelled.

“You told my mom where I was! My dad showed up at the diner!”

“What the hell are you talking about? What diner? What are you wearing?”

“Come off of it you stupid prick. You knew I was working at the diner, I’m sure you’ve been having minions follow me again. You called my mom. After I specifically told you not to!”

Spike wiped his hand across his face. He was tired. He had only just fallen asleep when she had started chucking footware at him.

“Can we talk about this in the evening?”

“NO! We will talk about it now! Why did you tell my mom? Why did you give her our phone number?”

“Your friend, the red head...”

“Willow?”

“Right, anyway, Red, she went to Willy.”

“Willy”

“Ya, got me a message a week ago from Red, by way of Willy.” Spike was trying hard to stay on topic. The sun was calling him to sleep.

“What was the message?”

“Red, she said that your mum was taking your leaving bad, real bad, started drinkin’. Like your mum, nice lady. I placed a call, let her know that you are ok, healthy, more or less and that you weren’t ready to come home. I didn’t give her our number love.”

“Caller Id Spike, god you are so technologically challenged.”

“Born in the god damn 1850’s, bloody bint” he muttered.

“How did they know where I worked?”

“Might have mentioned it. Came up in conversation. Don’t think we’ll be have our own conversation about that later, just not now, sleep now” he slumped back down onto the pillow.

“Oh no you don’t!” Buffy grabbed his pillow and whacked him with it. “I’m still mad at you, go sleep on the couch!” Buffy continued to pummel him with the pillow.

“God Woman! Leave my corpse alone!” Spike said into the mattress.

“Get out of the bed.”

Spike groaned and raised his head to look at her.

“Get undressed and get in this bed, Buffy” he said in even tone.

Without know why she did, Buffy did as she was told. She dropped Spike’s pillow on his head, and slipped into the bed without further protest.

“Go to sleep Goldilocks.”

Buffy closed her eyes.

“I may not be able to resist the thrall Spike, but I know you are doing it. This doesn’t change anything. I’m gonna stake you in the morning. I’ll probably miss, but it’ll hurt.”

“GO TO SLEEP!”
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Buffy found, when she woke up, that she was tied up. Her arms were chained to the headboard, her legs together. I guess this means no kinky sex then Buffy looked down to see that her bathrobe had been placed over her body, probably to hide all of her distracting flesh.

“Spike!” she screamed.

Spike poked his bleached head around the doorframe. “She’s awake.”

“Why am I tied up? And don’t tell me that it’s for sex, cause I know better. My legs wouldn’t be tied together.”

“Smart cookie aren’t you love. We are going to have ourselves a little chat.”

“And I need to be tied up for that?”

“I don’t want to get staked, or hit with flying shoes. You did promise me a painful botched staking last night.”

“I remember. You thralled me!”

“Well good news there, you fought it, you shouldn’t have been able to speak. Also another reason why you are...” he waved in her direction indicating the chains.

“You thralled me! You bastard!”

“Yes, I put you in thrall. It was past dawn Buffy! A time when big bad vamps should be tucked into bed. Instead I got pelted with shoes...”

“It was only one shoe”

“And yelled at for my trouble.”

“Fine, you wanted this talk...Talk...Explain to me oh big bad, just why you did what you did.”

“That’s not what I wanted to talk about. I think we yelled enough about that last night.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Then what are we going to discuss?” she said over sweetly.

“You aren’t happy. You weren’t happy in the warehouse, so we moved here, now I’ve got to commute...”

“Poor Spikey”

“You weren’t happy here, so you went and got yourself a job. A shit job, but you seem to like it. You still aren’t happy. It’s killing me...“

“Already dead Spike.“

“I just want to know why aren’t you happy? Is...is it me?”

Buffy bucked against her chains. She desperately wanted to hold him.

“NO! I love you. It’s not you. It’s...it’s what you do.”

“What I do?”

“You eat people. I’m the slayer Spike. I’m supposed to protect people from vampires. You can’t change the fact that you drink blood. I can’t change the fact that I’m the slayer. It’s not a job, it’s what I am, Kendra told me that.” Buffy blinked back the tears. “I haven’t exactly been slaying since I got here. I have all this energy, Slayer energy. I’m a pinball machine with Slayer energy pinballs. All my pinballs are stuck inside the plastic Buffy case. I need to slay. God my analogies suck.”

“So you slay. That’s fair. Never said you couldn’t slay pet.”

“God you don’t get it do you? I’m conflicted. Slayer Buffy and Girl Buffy are having out in my heart Spike. I can’t stay here, living off your money and sleeping with you and still be ok with myself. I’m not me anymore.”

Spike stared at her shocked. He had had no idea that it had gotten this bad. Spike collapsed on the side of the bed.

“I’m so sorry,” she continued. “I don’t know how to fix this Spike.” she was crying now.

“I don’t know what you expect me to do, Slayer. I’m a bloody master vampire, I’ve got minions and what not.”

“You don’t even like your minions Spike.”

“Not the point Goldilocks.”

“What is the point? You are a vampire, I’m the slayer. There’s got to be a point where we both had to say that this isn’t working.” said Buffy “It’s got to end.”

“I agree,” Spike stood up and leaned over her.

Buffy squeezed her eyes closed in anticipation of his bite.
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Buffy was walking barefoot on the sand. Her black bikini stood out against the her now pale skin. Looking out into the ocean closed her eyes, feeling her face being warmed by the sun. Tenderly a pair of hands wrap around her waist, brushing up against her belly button ring. Buffy moved to cover the hands with her own. She looked back to see that Spike is leaning over her shoulder, kissing his mark. Gingerly she reached up and stroked his cheek.

“How did you find me here?” she asked.

“A Sire always knows where to find his childe.”

Buffy turned in his embrace.

“But Spike, I’m not a vampire..”

“No?”

Buffy felt something change, and hesitantly she raised her hands to her forehead. There were bumpies. Buffy gasped.

“No! I don’t want to be a vampire! I don’t want to be something I have to kill.”

“Already are pet.”
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Buffy woke from her dream tangled in her sheets. Momentarily situating herself, she reassuringly found that she was in her apartment in LA, not the one Spike had acquired for her, the one she had gotten when she woke up, expecting to be a vampire.

Nothing had shocked herself more that when she woke up that day, she wasn’t a member of the undead. She had spent a good hour just making sure that she wasn’t vampy.

Spike had unchained her, and left. She hadn’t seen him since. It wasn’t difficult as she had moved her stuff out that night, while he was gone. He had left no note, just a deep bite on her neck and a large wad of cash. She hadn’t taken the money.

So now she sat in her dingy apartment, plagued by dreams of him coming back to turn her, hiding from the world she was chosen to protect.
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tbc...