Disclaimer: Joss said to write fan fic...so that’s what I’m doing.

Author’s note: Thanks to all my reviewers! Quotes from Anne and Dead Man’s Party
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Buffy remembered the words she had said to that Ken guy, “I'm Buffy. The Vampire Slayer. And you are...?” She had been pretty proud of herself. Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, not Anne, not Goldilocks. Buffy. Buffy smiled to herself. It was strange, but that was the moment. The moment that she knew she had to go home, to her mother, to Sunnydale. She had a Hellmouth to protect.

Lily was looking at the folding doors that separated the kitchen from the rest of the apartment. Buffy had decided to let her have the apartment. She certainly wouldn’t need it.

“Let me give you the tour.” Buffy walked into the main room and slowly turned to face Lily. “This concludes our tour.”

“It's really nice.”

“All the rent's paid up for the next three weeks.” Buffy turned around to get something out of her dresser. She had been here for little over a week.

“I spoke to Mitch at the diner.” Buffy pulled her diner uniform out of the drawer, “He said you can start on Thursday. He's, uh... he's kind of... repulsive, but, uh, he won't give you a hard time.” Buffy handed the uniform to Lily. “Um... I'll call and check up on you.”

“I'm not... great at taking care of myself.”

“Gets easier. Takes practice.”

Buffy looked down sadly, there was a time not too long ago that she wasn’t good at taking care of herself either.

“Hey... Can I be 'Anne'?” Lily smiled at Buffy.
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Buffy stood outside her house, correction, her mom’s house. She didn’t know if she was welcome anymore. She had planned to spend the night at the mansion, meet her mother in the morning, but something compelled her to get it over with tonight. Buffy knocked at the door.

Fighting the urge to run. Buffy clenched her fists and staid her ground.

When door finally opened, Buffy stood motionless waiting for her mother to do something, to say something. At last her mother moved forward and hugged her. Buffy felt the weight of a thousand worries lift from her shoulders.
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If she ate anything more she was going to explode. Buffy set her fork down and looked at her mother from across the table. She hadn’t even unpacked yet. Her mother had decided that she hadn’t been eating properly and had cooked a five course meal for her.

“Where did you stay....I know in LA, w..were you on the street?” her mother’s voice cracked.

“No, I had an apartment.”

“Was William with you?”

“For a while, we, uh, broke up, a few weeks ago.”

“He was keeping you from coming home?”

“No, he was the one that called you...remember.”

The lapsed into silence once again.

“How...how did you pay for the apartment?”

Buffy searched her mom’s eyes. There was fear there, true fear. That perhaps she had driven her daughter to do something no one should ever have to do.

“You know I worked at the diner. But before that Spike, uh William... he paid for the apartment. You don’t have to worry mom. I didn’t do anything illegal.

Her mom looked relieved at that.
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Buffy walked into her mom’s room.

“Mom...”

Buffy watched her mother physically jump at the sound, and imbed the hammer she was holding into the wall.

“Oh! Buffy.”

Buffy cringed at the sight of the hole in the wall. Her mom turned to face her, pulling the hammer out of the wall.

“Um...”

“Sorry.” Buffy apologized.

“No, no! Don't worry about it. I-I guess I just got used to all the quiet while you were gone. But it's no problem. Uh, look!” said Joyce as she hung the evil looking mask she had been holding on a hook, “It's, uh, Nigerian. We got a very exciting shipment in at the Gallery. I, um, thought I'd hang a few pieces in here. It cheers up the room.”

“It's angry at the room, Mom. It wants the room to suffer.”

“You have no appreciation of primitive art. You going out?”

Buffy looked down at the sweater she was holding in her hands. “Oh. Um... Well, i-if it's okay. I, um... I'd like to find Willow and Xander.”

“Will you be slaying?”

“Only if they give me lip.” Buffy tried joking.

“Uh, can I make you a sandwich or something before you go? You must be starving.”

“I was un-until that four-course snack you served me after dinner.”

“Well, then, um... You know, why don't I drive you? I mean, they could be anywhere.”

“Mom... If you don't want me to go, just say so.”

“No, no. I-I just want to put this whole thing behind us, get back to normal. You go. Have a good time.”

“Okay.” Buffy turned to go, but stopped in the doorway. “Mom? I’m sorry I put you through all that.”
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Finding her friends wasn’t too hard. Finding them in the middle of operation: stake! was a little weird, but after staking the vamp and exchanging tentative greetings, they dragged her to her watcher’s house for confrontational tea. Giles didn’t look to happy to see her. But he invited her in regardless.

“I got in a few hours ago, but I wanted to go see my mom first,” Buffy explained.

“Yes. Yes, of course. How, how did you find her?” asked the watcher.

“Well, I pretty much remembered the address.”

“Ah, eh, I mean, uh...” Giles’ kettle started to whistle. “How are things between you? Ah. Excuse me.” Giles rose from his position and went into the kitchen.

“Hey, so you're not wanted for murder anymore.” added Oz.

“Good. That was such a drag.”

“So where were you? Did you go to Belgium?” asked Xander.

“Why would I go to Belgium?” questioned Buffy, giving her friend an odd look.

“I think the relevant question is why wouldn't you?” Xander grinned and began to giggle “Bel-gium!”

Despite herself, Buffy laughed.

“What about you, Xander? What's up with you?”

“Oh, you know, same old, same old.”

“Hardly,” interjected Cordy.

“Okay, I lied, a whole lot is new.”

“Well, that's good, isn't it? New is good.” offered Buffy.

Buffy turned her attention back to her watcher who was bringing in mugs of tea. She had really missed them all. Buffy thought sadly how Giles would probably not understand what she had been doing all summer. Buffy returned her attention to Xander, who was still talking.

“Cordelia's parents dragged her onto a luxury vacation.”

“I feel for you,” Buffy said sarcastically.

“Here we are then,” said Giles, setting the tray on the coffee table. “Cheer us up.”

Buffy helped herself to a cookie, forgetting that she had eaten the equivalent of four meals since she got home.

“So were you, like, living in a box, or what?” asked Cordelia.

“Well, it's a long story.” she said hoping that that would deter them from asking too many questions.

“So skip the heart warming stuff about kindly old people and saving the farm and get right to the dirt,” ordered Xander.

“Perhaps Buffy could use a little time to adjust before we grill her on her summer activities.” said Giles pouring out the tea.

“What he said.” agreed Buffy, never before so thankful for Giles.

“Fair enough. In fact, you can leave the slaying to us while you settle in. We got you covered,” said Xander.

“I noticed. You guys seem down with the slayage, all tricked out with your walkies and everything.”

“Yeah, but the outfits suck. This whole Rambo thing is so over. I'm thinking more sporty, like Hilfiger maybe,” added Cordelia.

“Still, we were getting good. We dusted nine out of ten.” interjected Willow.

“Six out of ten,” Oz whispered to Willow.

“Six out of ten.”

“Whatever, we were kicking a little undead booty,” said Xander pleased with himself.

“Well, thank you for the offer, but I think I just wanna get back to my normal routine. You know, school, slaying... kid's stuff. In fact, I'm jonesing for a little brainless fun. What are you doing tomorrow?”

“Oh, I would, but, uh,” Xander reached his hands around Cordelia’s arm, “I'm kind of tied up.”

“You wish.” Cordelia pushed him away from her.

“Will?”

“Um, tomorrow I...”

“Oh, come on. Friends don't let friends browse alone.”

“Okay. I had some schoolwork, but... I can change my plans.”

“As for school, Buffy, uh, you know you'll have to talk to Principal Snyder before...” Giles trailed off.

“On it. Mom is making an appointment with His Ugliness. I know she can break him.” said Buffy happily.
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It wasn’t as easy as that though. After being practically laughed out of Snyder’s office, Buffy’s mom started talking about a girl’s private school. Completely groan worthy. But her mom was right, she had made some bad choices and she had to live with the consequences of her actions.

Hmmm, bad choices...Spike was a bad choice, that much she was certain about. She still couldn’t believe that he hadn’t killed her, or that he had simply left. She hadn’t wanted him to leave, not really. Buffy went to her room (after burying the dead cat) and got out the picture Angel had drawn her of Spike.

Why did her life have to be so complicated? As much as she wanted to be mad at him for biting her and leaving her, she couldn’t help but want him there right then and now, to comfort her. She felt like a big hole needed to be filled.
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Her mom’s ‘let’s have everyone over for dinner’ sorta turned into ‘let’s have the whole town over for a party.’ It wasn’t what she wanted. Half these people she didn’t even know. Willow was avoiding her, Xander was too busy with Cordelia to talk, and Giles hadn’t shown up yet. Buffy walked to the kitchen in hopes of finding her mom, and some sympathy.

“Having Buffy home, I-I thought it was gonna make it all better, but in some ways, it's almost worse,” came her mother’s voice.

Buffy froze. Her mom didn’t want her here at all. Maybe it would have been better if she had never came back. Buffy turned and headed up the stairs, sniffling. What was the point? Buffy entered her room and looked at her bed sadly. She had to leave, there was no reason for her to stay here, where no one wanted her. Maybe it would have been better had Spike just turned her. Buffy stooped and took her duffle bag out from under her bed. Maybe everyone could get on with their lives if she were to just disappear again. Buffy began to pack.

“You're leaving again?” asked Willow from the doorway.

Buffy gave her friend a quick glance and then turned back to her packing.

“What, you just stopped by for your lint brush and now you're ready to go?” Willow was really upset.

“It's not like anyone will mind.”

“Oh, no. Have a good time. Oh, oh, and don't forget to not write,” Willow said sarcastically.

Buffy couldn’t hold it in anymore. She started sobbing. “Why are you attacking me? I'm trying.”

“Wow, and it looks so much like giving up!”

“I'm just trying to make things easier.”

“For who?”

“You guys were doing just fine without me.”

“We were doing the best we could! It's not like we had a lot of choice in the matter.”

“Sorry that I had to leave, but you don't know what I was going through.”

“Well, I'd like to.”

“You wouldn't understand.”

“Well, maybe I don't need to understand. Maybe I... I just need you to talk to me.”

“How could I talk to you when you were avoiding me?”

“This isn't easy, Buffy! I know you're going through stuff, but... so am I.”

“I know that you were worried about me, but...”

“No! I don't just mean that. I mean, my life! You know? I, um... I'm having all sorts of... I'm dating, I'm having serious dating with a werewolf, a-and I'm studying witchcraft and killing vampires, and I didn't have anyone” Willow began to cry too, “to talk to about all this scary life stuff. And you were my best friend.”

“You have no idea how much I missed you. Everyone. I wanted to call every day.”

“That doesn't matter, Buffy. It doesn't make it okay that you didn't.”

Just to make things even more better for Buffy, her mom walked by her bedroom door and obviously noticed the bag on Buffy’s bed, full of clothes.

“What is this? Is this some sort of a joke?” asked her mom.

Buffy so didn’t need this now, she had to talk to Willow. She had to make her see.

“Mom, please, could you, could you just...”

“No,” her mom interrupted. “I can't just! Buffy, what is this?”

“She was running away again,” supplied Willow.

“No, I wasn't.” Buffy defended her actions, then was unsure about what she wanted to do anymore. “I'm not sure.”

“Well, you better get sure and explain yourself right away! If you think you can just take off any time you feel like...” ranted her mother.

“Stop it! Please! I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing.” Buffy rushed from her room.

Buffy headed straight to the door, only to find Xander and Cordy making out in front of it blocking her way.

“Don't you leave this house, young lady!” shouted her mother.

Buff ignored her, making her way through the living room.

“You know what? That's it.” Joyce ran up behind her daughter and grabbed her hand. “You and I are going to have a talk.”

The music stopped, everyone’s attention was focused on them, shouting in the middle of the living room.

“Mom, please...”

“You know what? I don't care. I don't care what your friends think of me, or you for that matter, because you put me through the wringer, Buffy. I mean it. And I've had schnapps. Do you have any idea what it's been like?”

“Mom, this isn't the time...”

“You can't imagine months of not knowing. Not knowing whether you're lying dead in a ditch somewhere or, I don't know, living it up...”

“But you told me! You're the one who said I should go. You said if I leave this house, don't come back. You found out who I really was, and you couldn't deal. Don't you remember?”

“Buffy, you didn't give me time. You just dumped this thing on me and you expected me to get it. Well, guess what? Mom's not perfect, okay? I handled it badly. But that doesn't give you the right to punish me by running away.”

“Punish you? I didn't do this to punish you!”

“Well, you did,” interjected Xander, “You should've seen what you put her through.”

“Great. Thanks. Anybody else want to weigh in here?” Buffy looked around the room, “How about you by the dip?”

Jonathon froze in the middle of bringing a chip covered with dip to his mouth and looked around nervously at everyone suddenly staring at him.

“No, thanks. I'm good,” stammered Jonathan.

“You know, maybe you don't want to hear it, Buffy, but taking off like you did was incredibly selfish and stupid,” chastised Xander.

“Okay! Okay. I screwed up. I know this. But you have no idea! You have, you have no idea what happened to me or what I was feeling!” shouted Buffy.

“Did you even try talking to anybody?” continued Xander.

“There was nothing that anybody could do. Okay? I just had to deal with this on my own.”

“Yeah, and you see how well that one worked out. You can't just bury stuff, Buffy. It'll come right back up to get you.”

“As if I even could've gone to you, Xander. You made your feelings about Angel and vampires in general, perfectly clear.”

“Look. I'm sorry that your honey was a demon, but most girls don't hop a Greyhound over boy troubles,” spat Xander.

Buffy winced.

“Time out, Xander. Put yourself in Buffy's shoes for just a minute. Okay? I'm Buffy, freak of nature, right? Naturally I pick a freak for a boyfriend, and then he turns into Mr. Killing Spree, which is pretty much my fault...” spouted Cordelia.

“Cordy! Get outta my shoes!”

“I'm just trying to help, Buffy.” said Cordelia, afraid of getting ranted at too.

“Buffy, you never...” said Willow trying to intercede.

“Willow, please. I can't take this from you, too.”

“Let her finish! You at least owe her that.” shouted Xander.

“God, Xander! Do you think you could at least stick to annoying me on your own behalf?”

“Fine! You stop acting like an idiot, I'll stop annoying you!”

“Oh, you wanna talk acting like an idiot? Nighthawk?”

“Okay. I'm gonna step in now,” Oz stepped between Xander and Buffy, who looked like they were about to start hitting each other. “Being Referee Guy.”

“No, let them go, Oz. Talking about it isn't helping. We might as well try some violence.” said Willow.

Suddenly a zombie smashed through the window.

“I was being sarcastic!”
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Willow and Buffy were enjoying a Zombie free cup of coffee at the Espresso Pump. This had been the first time Buffy had been able to have girl talk with Willow since she got back to Sunnydale and there were things to be said.

“So, you left with Spike and Drusilla?”

“Well I wasn’t really with Drusilla, she was tied up in the back seat. Spike let her go when we got to LA.”

“And you stayed with him? Like with him, with him?”

“For a while, we‘re over, completely over. I mean there‘s only so long before you realise that hey, your boyfriend eats people, it‘s not something that really goes along with the whole Slayer package.”

“Ya, I can see that. So you are over?”

“Yes,” said Buffy sadly.

“But you still love him.”

“Yes.”

“Well you know, it‘s not all bad, maybe he left to go get himself cursed with a soul. I could curse him with a soul! I‘m getting very good at that sort of thing.”

“Witchy Willow?”

“I mean, I'm not a full-fledged witch. That takes years. I just did a couple pagan blessings and... a teeny glamour to hide a zit.” said Willow.

“Does it scare you?”

“It has. I tried to communicate with the spirit world, and I so wasn't ready for that. It's like being pulled apart inside. Plus I blew the power for our whole block. Big scare.”

“I wish I could've been there with you.”

“Me, too. I really freaked out.”

“I am sorry.”

“It's okay. I understand you having to bail. I can forgive that. Mm, I have to make allowances for what you're going through a-and be a grownup about it.”

Willow looked smugly over at her friend.

“You're really enjoying this whole moral superiority thing, aren't you?”

“It's like a drug!” beamed Willow.

“Fine! Okay. I'm the bad. I can take my lumps... for a while.”

“All right. I'll stop giving you a hard time.” Willow paused for a moment “Runaway.”

“Will!”

Willow giggled, “I'm sorry! Quitter.”

“Whiner.”

“Bailer.”

“Harpy.”

“Delinquent.”

“Tramp.”

“Bad seed.”

“Witch.”

“Freak.”

“Nerd”

“Vamp groupie”
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tbc...