Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox studios. This story is not meant to infringe upon anyone's rights, only to entertain.

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CHAPTER 30 - I Love You That Much


Spike walked in the shadows, careful that he wasn't being followed. He made his way to Marissa's place, knocking on the door only when he was sure that he was alone. Marissa opened the door, smiling at seeing him.

"Everything okay?" she asked.

"Never better, pet. How's Buffy?"

Marissa stepped out of the way to let Spike in. From the kitchen, a pretty brunette stepped into the living room, smiling at seeing the bleach blond vampire.

"I'm good. It's been quiet all night. I was a little worried about you." Buffy asked.

"I'm good. You ready to go, love? Sunrise will be here in an hour."

"You going? Spike, both of you can spend the night here." Marissa reasoned out.

"Thanks but I don't want to impose."

"Spike, you know me. You wouldn't be imposing."

"Well I'm not exactly the most quiet house guest either." Spike said with a grin.

Marissa shook her head with a smirk on her face. "Well I can see you have a one track mind. Alright. Take this then." the witch said shoving a black crystal into his palm. "I put the same kind of magic in that one as the little bracelet that Buffy has on her wrist. As long as you have that on you, the glamour and cloaking spell will be in effect.”

Sure enough, Spike's features started to change -- bleached blond hair turned black, blue eyes traded for a more green hue and his build grew bulkier.

"I trust you didn't make me look like a nancy boy eh Marissa?" Spike said tilting his head to the left.

Buffy smiled looking at Spike. The features she loved so much were gone temporarily but the look he gave her could still send shivers and tingles.

The witch smiled admiring her work. "You know me better than that!"

"Exactly! You'd do it just for a small giggle."

Marissa gave him a big grin. "I guess you do know me. But I assure you you don't look like a nancy boy!" she said raising her right hand. "Anyway, that should get both of you safely to where you're going tonight. You still have that amulet I gave you earlier?"

Spike nodded. "Thanks dear. I owe you one." He said shoving the black crystal into one of his duster pockets.

"Don't worry Spike, I'll find a way for you to pay me back. Now go before the sun rises."

Buffy turned and gave Marissa a hug. "Thanks for letting me stay here."

"Don't worry dear. Just be careful. I'll see both of you soon."

Spike took Buffy's hand and led her out into the night. They walked in silence which unnerved Buffy a little bit. He was in his pensive mood again which usually meant he had a lot on his mind. Buffy didn't really know what business it was he was going to take care of that night and it worried her a bit that he was so tight lipped about it. She knew he still kept some secrets from her, mainly about his past, but when it had something to do with her, or pertained to her in any way, Spike was not the type to keep it hidden. But she knew now was not the time to press him since they had to get to a safe place before dawn.

Spike led them back to the hotel they had stayed in the night before. They slipped in quietly, taking the stairs up to their room. Once inside, Spike slipped his duster off and plopped down on one of the chairs. He closed his eyes, leaned his head back and had his palms up. His features changing back to normal.

Buffy saw the mark on his right hand and she rushed to him with concern. "Spike, you're hurt."

Spike opened his eyes to look at her. "It's nothing love, just a little scratch."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"You've seen me with worse. I'm fine ... never better actually now that we're together again." Spike said tapping his lap. "Come here."

Buffy smiled, settling on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I missed you."

"I missed you too." He said letting his lips nuzzle her neck.

"Spike, I think you need to go to bed. You seem so tired, like you're not all here."

"Huh, I guess." Spike took hold of Buffy's body against his and stood up, carrying her towards the bedroom. He gently set her down on the bed. Buffy moved to remove her shoes and strip down to her undies while Spike turned around and did the same. With a sigh, he settled on the bed beside her. He looked at her features over and missed her golden hair which reminded him so much of the sun. "Wish you could take that bracelet off, love. I would love to see you. But I guess you should keep it on for just one more night." he said caressing her cheek gently then letting his fingers run through her hair. "I love you."

"I love you too." Buffy said as she settled into his arms. Soon they both drifted to sleep.


**

Buffy woke up feeling gentle fingers caressing her waist. As she gained more consciousness, she felt lips planting soft kisses on her neck. Spike nibbled slightly on different areas on her neck. She moaned softly enjoying the feel of his hands and lips on her skin.

"I want you Buffy. I love you so much." Spike said under his breath. "Want to see you. Want to feel you. But I don't feel right taking you when you look like this."

Buffy felt overcome by his show of emotion and the realization that he really loved her. It was sweet that even though she was still Buffy, he thought it wrong to take her when she looked like another woman.

Spike teased her neck with blunt teeth and lips. Even though he knew it was her in his bed, he still felt like he was cheating on her because she looked different. She smelled different. It just felt wrong taking her like this.

She smiled up at him, hoping he would how much she loved him through her eyes. "But Spike, the cloaking spell."

"Don't worry about that love. I think we've seen the last of those wankers. And to tell you the truth, you're worth the risk."

Buffy nodded and slipped the bracelet Marissa had given her from her wrist. She carefully placed it on the bed side table then turned back to smile at Spike. "This better?" she asked as her features returned her to the blond haired, green eyed woman that Spike fell in love with. His senses were assaulted with her scent which gave him both a piece of comfort and a wonderful sensation in his groin. His eyes narrowed in on her neck as his fingers tapped each bite mark he had inflicted on her. He leaned in and clamped his lips down on each bite sucking gently while his tongue traced each scar.

Buffy closed her eyes and tilted her head back to give him better access.

"Much much better dear." he said as he trailed kisses up her neck to her jaw line before crushing his lips on hers. "Love you so much, Buffy. You don't know how much."

Returning his kiss with just as much passion, she let her hands wander over his body -- gently caressing his taunt and well sculpted body.

"Buffy, I need to hear it. I need to know that you feel the same way."

"Spike, you know I do." she said brushing her lips against his.

"Need to hear it, love. How much do you love me Buffy? How far are you willing to go?"

"I trust you completely. I'll do anything you want since I know you won't do anything that will put me in danger."

Spike let his fingers travel down to her thigh, gently caressing the skin of her inner thigh near her nether lips. "So warm Buffy... I wonder if ... " his words lost as he planted kisses down the length of her neck, moving to the mound of her bosoms. "She will be yours forever. ... The Slayer in your arms. ... Immortality your gift. ... Protected from all that will harm her. ... Loved for all eternity. ... " Words floating in his mind. He had to do this, had to take more from her than he had before. He knew it would hurt and he hoped she would be able to take the pain. It had to be done, to protect her, to make her his.

"Make love to me Spike. I want you now."

Spike freed her breasts from the confines of her bra, marveling at the soft mounds that bounced gently as she squirmed from the attention he was giving her nether regions. He gently licked one of her hardened nipples making Buffy gasp at the new sensation. He continued rubbing her clit with his finger, feeling himself grow harder with each moan that escaped her lips. "That's it love. Want to hear you moan ... Always want to hear you scream my name ... Want to hear your heart beat faster ... Want your warmth all around me." He said huskily.

Buffy complied, letting herself go, focusing all her senses on Spike and his touch. He brought her over the edge, pleasure running through ever muscles as she screamed out his name. Spike let Buffy catch her breath for a few seconds before sliding inside her, burying himself inside her warmth. His senses were focused on the sound of her heart racing and the blood pumping in her jugular. He bent down to nuzzle her neck, sensuously licking each and every bite mark that adorned her neck. His hips moved faster with need as his demon anticipated the taste of her blood. As his climax neared, his visage shifted as his fangs came out and pierced her tender flesh. Buffy winced from the pain but it was soon lost by the feel of him moving faster and deeper inside her. Slayer blood spilled into his mouth -- sweet succulent blood, rich and nourishing. He continued to pull from her, his demon drowning in sexual pleasure and blood. He felt Buffy clamp down on his cock as he spent himself inside her.

He didn't stop pulling her blood, pinning her body against the mattress with his own. "Spike?" she asked nervously, wondering why he hadn't stopped.

Spike was lost in bloodlust. "She will be yours forever. ... The Slayer in your arms. ... Immortality your gift. ... Protected from all that will harm her. ... Loved for all eternity. ... Turn her. ... Make her. ... "

As he took more and more from her, her thoughts seemed to penetrate through the haze that seemed to cloud his now one track mind. Her voice was in his head.

Turn me or kill me Spike. I can’t stay like this anymore. You don’t care about me. You whisper sweetness in my ear and I listen because it makes my life easier to bear, but all you want is my blood. I have no choices. If I leave you, I know Angelus will just take me and how would that be any better. Turn me or kill me Spike. He heard her.

“No I want more than your blood... I love you... love all of you.” Spike thought back in reply.

“Because, I need you. I don’t have anyone. I don’t want to leave you, Spike.”

“I'm doing this so we'll never be apart. I want you with me forever.”

“Stop that…” she said mid-giggle. “He’ll get mad. But... tomorrow, it will be different. ... I'll be his tomorrow. I‘ll have to go back to Angelus.

“No Buffy, you belong to me love, always and forever. I love everything about you. How you smile, how you hold me, how you kiss me ... how you wrap me in your warmth. How you make me feel. I love you just the way you are. Just the way you are.”

With that realization he pulled his fangs from her jugular in shock. Buffy lay beneath him, her breathing weak, her heart slower than it usually was.

"God no Buffy. What have I done?!"

Buffy looked up at him weakly. "Spike?"

He looked down at her in horror. The bloodlust had consumed him and if he hadn't stopped, he would have drained her completely dry. He would have killed her. But wasn't that his intent? But why? Why now? Why would he want to turn her? To protect her from harm... to make her his. But she was already his. She loved him completely. He took from her without asking... How could he do that? What made him do that?