~*~
CHAPTER 4
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Angel said all the right things about her home in the making. Buffy and Dawn had to start from nothing since everything they had owned was in the bottom of that crater in California. All their memories and mementos under the rubble, along with the graves of their mother, Tara, and the unplanned resting places of Anya and Spike. Also the bodies of more young girls than Buffy wanted to remember. She'd not had the heart to return there and found no amusement in the official story of a freak plate movement leading to a city-size sinkhole.

Yes, Spike HAD made HER earth move, but there had been no earthquake that day. That great gaping wound in the California landscape was only slightly smaller than the hole in her heart at the cost of it all."OK, past is past, now onto tomorrow," Buffy reminded herself and smiled up at Angel.

Somehow he seemed too tall as she put her arms around his neck and drew him down for a kiss. His lips were as cool and passionate as she remembered, but not quite as soft as in memory. His lower lip didn't beg to be caught between her teeth as she thought it had. The soft curling hair that should be at the nape of his neck wasn't there either. Wait, that was Spike's sensuous lip, nape, curls and comfortable height she was remembering!

‘Stop it now, Buffy!’, she demanded of herself.

Angel was so gentle in his touch, so careful not to go too fast or scare her in any way. Buffy couldn't stop herself from remembering the raw passion and hunger of Spike's touch. He never treated her like some china doll that might break if he showed her his desire. She was all woman in his arms and he was all man...her man. ‘Damn it, Buffy, Spike is gone! Angel is here. Get a grip," she screamed at herself mentally.

Angel could feel Buffy stiffen a bit under his touch and reminded himself to slow down for his little girl. He really needed to ease out of this situation. He didn't want to make Buffy feel rejected, far from it. He just didn't dare let this blissful moment progress to anything tragic. He knew he should run, not walk, and do it now before it was too late.

God, she felt good in his arms. ‘To have Cordy here again.......SHIT! Where did that come from?’ Buffy, he meant Buffy, damn it.. He'd lost Cordy, but now he had his Buffy back in his arms and he wasn't going to blow the moment by letting memories of his last love interfere with the here and now.

Somehow during their separate musings the star-crossed lovers had moved into Buffy's bedroom without being aware of the movement.

"Jeez, where had Buffy learned THAT?" Angel wondered at the change in her kisses. He decided he really didn't want to know after all, as he had similar thoughts about what she was now doing with her hands.

Soon all thoughts left both their conscious minds as the world narrowed to one of touch, taste and feel only. They both had their eyes shut tightly as they reached with desperation for the comfort that their history represented. They fell to the bed and gave in to the need they both had to connect with each other and with love itself.

~~~

Willow was beginning to panic. "Come on. How long can a man last anyway?" she said aloud to no one but herself. "Goddess, did he turn into Angelus and kill Buffy? Oh, shit…oh, shit…I should never have let her talk me into this," she cried.

~~~



"But…but you're still Angel!" Buffy exclaimed in confusion. "How....why...I mean I'm glad and all, but, well....you know," she stammered.

Angel found himself at a loss for words. Everything had seemed perfect enough. What the hell was going on anyway? "Is something wrong with the curse? Wait....not WRONG...um....right, yeah, right with the curse?" he wondered.

The pair looked at each other rather sheepishly and began to awkwardly dress. "Well, Buffy, I probably should go back to the hotel," Angel muttered in embarrassment. Buffy didn't even try to stop him. She merely began walking towards the small living room.

Suddenly the room exploded, along with the front door, as a frantic Giles and Willow burst in. "Buffy! Oh my goddess, you're alive!" puffed Willow. Giles thrust a cross in Angel's face and sought to reassure Buffy by saying, "Don't panic, I have him stopped here."

"Will! Giles! What do you think you're doing?" asked Buffy as her face began to redden. This evening was not turning out as expected in any form.

"Willow began to worry. She rang me and told me of your rash idea....you didn't call her and we assumed that Angelus was back with a vengence, so to speak," Giles began to explain.

"You didn't call me, Buff, and…and…and I tried calling you, but you didn't answer, so I thought…I decided....well, I didn't want to face Angelus alone, so...," Willow continued, nearly stumbling over the words that spilled out rapid fire.

"God, Buffy, does everyone know what we...?" Angel trailed off. If vampires could blush, he'd be deep scarlet by now.

"No, no, Angel. I only told Willow so she could put your soul back if we…you know…WHEN we had our perfect moment again," Buffy said in her own defense.

"Well," Angel answered with no small amount of anger-tinged sadness in his voice, "I guess we've both discovered our 'perfect moment' came and went years ago, didn't we, Buffy?"

Giles, not understanding the cause of the tense mood between Buffy and her proclaimed "true love", spoke up with a question then. "Did you tell her about Spike, you bloody idiot?" he asked Angel. Really, Giles could think of nothing else that might cause Buffy and Angel to be so at odds with each other.

The room became dead silent as Angel went even more pale than usual.

Buffy recovered first. Looking from Angel to Giles and back again, she demanded, "What ABOUT Spike and what does he have to do with anything here?"

Willow simply squeaked out, "Spike?!"