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CHAPTER 9
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"I love you Spike.", she began. He stopped the dance yet didn't look at her, didn't move at all. He continued to hold her close but said not a word. He had even stopped breathing, not that he needed to breathe.

"Ok, I wanna' be really clear for once. I am IN love with you. Have been since before the whole soul getting. Didn't want to....fall in love, you know, especially with a soulless vampire. Couldn't say I loved you though till
you'd changed so much. I saw all that the last year. You cared for so much more than just me. I began to see you for the first time. I guess lots of the things I saw had been there a long time but I hadn't seen them. When I did see, well, then I DID love, and um, I let myself fall. I still told myself that when we defeated the First there would be time and I could tell you. I waited too long to say anything. I knew for certain the night before the battle. I'd stood on the porch, knowing what we faced. I kept thinking of you, the wonder of you! How you were so human, how you were always there for me. How much you were always giving to those you love even when all you got back was a swift kick. How you never would leave for long and always come back. I finally saw you. I loved what I saw. I still do.".

The silence was broken by the clock chiming the midnight hour. Buffy had to listen closely as Spike's voice was but a whisper. "My first valentine .", he said in an awed voice. "Never had one before, can hardly believe this one.",
he choked out.

"I didn't want to mess up your life, Buffy. When I died, that was kinda' a high note, you know. I was afraid I'd just bollocks everything up. Figured you thought kindly 'bout me now and again....sorta' liked thinkin' that. Never
dreamed you'd ever love me.....not after... and not now.", he admitted.

He pulled back a bit and looked into her large hazel eyes moist with unshed tears. "Buffy, I adore you. I have for so long I can't even remember when I didn't.", he said.

"Funny, even when I was alive I never felt as alive as I do when I'm with you. It's like I'm somethin' brand new. Never thought I needed a soul, thought YOU were my soul...till I hurt you. Knew I needed one of my own then. You are my heart though. I swear when you are in my arms, mine beats in time with yours. Didn't know how I was gonna' keep livin' without you, but I knew I had to fight the fight, you know. Be someone you could be proud of.", his voice broke.

Suddenly all the fear dissolved leaving only joy and need as the two lovers kissed. All the tender love, all the passionate desire, all the lost time was wrapped in their embrace. Words could wait, now was the time for bodies
and souls to speak in the most ancient of languages, and speak they did.

They lay together, replete and happier than either could remember being. Time seemed to come to a stop, as if some time lord were gifting them to make up for all they had lost.

Spike sighed and said, "Sorry, pet, I should have some kinda' Valentines pretty for you.. flowers, a card...something. Fine suitor I've turned out to be, and me a Victorian gentleman. We invented the holiday, you know.", he said as
he stroked her golden hair gently.

Buffy got up and headed for the kitchen. Spike heard her low, vaguely evil laugh. She practically danced back into the room, smiling wickedly, her hands behind her back.

"What's that you've got there, Buffy?". Spike asked in a low honeyed tone. "If it's a stake, at least I'll die happy.", he teased.

"No stakes for you bucko....not even the cow kind. I think we are gonna just retire that joke 'cause I really don't want to think of coming that close to loosing you again.", she said becoming serious for a moment. "Now about what I found in the fridge... Well," she giggled, "what's Valentines day without chocolate?". She pulled out the ice cream topping from behind her back and held it in front of her. "Now, Spike, is it better to give or receive?", she asked with a grin.

"Both, love, both.", he answered as he took the bottle from her and proceeded to demonstrate.

"I think I'm gonna' love livin' in L.A.", Buffy said with a sigh. "I think I can become little miss California again without too much trouble. That is if a certain sexy, wonderful man thinks he could put up with me. I also need
to know if I have a home", she hinted.

"Home is where the heart is, and you are my heart.", Spike reminded her. "Any place I am you aren't just welcome....you are necessary, luv.".

"Wonder if I can get a corner office at W&H if I apologize to Angel for calling him a ponce?", Buffy asked as she poured a bit of chocolate on her smiling vampire.

"Yum, she exclaimed, "looks like I'm not the only thing ready to serve up!".







~fin