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Chapter 11
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"Who does Buffy know that rides a Harley?" Xander and Anya drove past Buffy’s house and saw a mean-looking bike in the driveway. "Maybe we should stop by. You were right about how I need to make nice with the Bleached Wonder. I’m not mad at Buffy, just not loving her choice in patrol partners of the fangy type."

"I think it might be a better idea to call her first. Maybe Buffy has a rugged new boyfriend and they’re having hot sex right now. Buffy could use many orgasms to cheer her up. Those bikers all seem to be oversexed, at least in the movies; it could be a good match. I think Buffy likes the dangerous bad boys anyway. No, we shouldn’t just drop in. I wouldn’t be happy to have someone interrupt my orgasms and it’s been a long time for Buffy, so she’d be really pissed off." As always, Anya offered her own unique perspective.

"The Buffster won’t mind. She’s not dating anyone, so the whole idea of Buffy and the sexcapades scene…never mind. I need to take my brain out and wash it now."

"If you are having sexual fantasies starring Buffy, I’LL take your brain out and wash it for you," Anya huffed. She was always a wee bit suspicious of Xander’s near obsession with Buffy’s love life. She didn’t want to think he still harbored an attraction for the Slayer, but she wasn’t going to encourage any thoughts in that direction either. "Okay, we can stop for a visit, but not for long. I have to go to the bakery in the morning to sample cakes for our wedding, so I need to go to the gym tonight to lose the pounds all those samples are going to put on me."

Xander smiled at Anya. "It doesn’t work that way, An. You can’t lose pounds in one trip to the gym--trust me, I’ve tried. You can’t lose in advance either. Cake will just naturally gravitate to a person’s thighs no matter what sneaky plans you make
to divert it."

As they climbed the stairs to the porch, Anya was hoping that Buffy was in there with a man. Maybe if Buffy were unavailable, she could stop worrying about
what kind of feelings Xander might still have for his ‘friend’.

Xander knocked on the front door and got no response. "Funny, there are lights on in there. It’s still too early for Buffy to be on patrol. Someone should be
home." He tried the door handle and found it unlocked. "Kinda careless, don’t know what kind of monster might just come in."

Xander pushed open the door and peered around the entryway into the living room. The house looked empty.

Suddenly, a loud crash could be heard from above.

A startled Xander whispered to Anya, "Holy leaping cats, what was that?" Xander nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound coming from upstairs. He didn’t
want some slimy demon to figure out that they had company. "God, something’s got Buffy!"

"Calm down, love muffin, that didn’t sound like a fight and I don’t hear any screams." Anya tried to pull Xander towards the door and out of the house.

"Oh GOD…Yes, Spike, YES! Harder! Don’t stop!" Xander heard these words of horror spoken in Buffy’s voice, followed by a keening wail that ended in a scream.

"No! Please, no! An, please tell me I’m only dreaming or I’ve been slipped some drug or something. I can’t have just heard that." Xander had turned the
color of a vampire in his shock.

"I can’t believe the whole neighborhood didn’t hear that! I said we should call first, but nooooo, you had to just drop in unannounced." Anya rolled her eyes at Xander’s blindness to the sexual attraction that had always been visible between vampire and Slayer. "I don’t know why you’re so shocked. Spike is a hot, sexy male with vampire stamina, not to mention tight pants that make it obvious he’s
hung like a stallion. He and Buffy have been seducing each other ever since he got chipped. Anyone with eyes could see it. I’m just surprised it took them this
long. Let’s give them some privacy and go home to have some orgasms of our own. You’re right about the gym not helping."

"He’s hurting her. You heard her say ‘don’t and then ‘stop’! I’m so going to dust his pale ass!" Xander headed for Buffy’s weapons chest and its supply of stakes.

"Xander Harris, stop being a total idiot. She clearly was saying ‘don’t stop’ as in ‘keep doing what you are doing, only harder and faster, maybe with some swirl of hips added’. You just want an excuse to butt in! Maybe you don’t have time to fit me and our relationship into your busy schedule as Buffy’s unwanted social secretary! I’m going home… NOW…with or without you. If you have hope of ever seeing my lush, firm, supple breasts again, you’ll come with me. For that matter, if you want to see me in any way, you’d better rethink your priorities. Buffy doesn’t want OR need you; I do."

Xander knew when to cut his losses. Besides, the last thing he wanted was to have Buffy furious with him if she WAS enjoying the evil undead in her bed. "Still
not right. He must have used a thrall or drugs… something. All right, An, we’ll go home, but this isn’t over." He leveled an ‘evil eye’ glare at the upstairs of Buffy’s home. "I may not be able to get through to Buffy, but I know someone who can."

Anya practically dragged her outraged fiancée out the door and to the car. She was going to have to watch him carefully so he didn’t do anything stupid. Halfrek was coming to town for the wedding and the last thing Anya wanted to have to worry about was a brassed-off Slayer looking for a bit of vengeance on overprotective friends with a death wish.

~~~

"What was that? Did you hear something downstairs?" Buffy could have sworn she heard voices.

"Couldn’t hear a brass band over that scream of yours, Slayer," Spike said proudly. "Um, love…looks like we broke the bed. Got a toolbox here? I’m fairly handy
and think I can put it together again so we don’t have to look for some other place to get all comfy."

"Mmmmm. Bed’s broke; Buffy isn’t. Bed can wait and Buffy doesn’t want to." Buffy stuck out her bottom lip in the pouty pose that always got Spike in kissage mode.

"Right, then. Time enough for damage control later, got a Slayer to see to now." Spike said agreeably and pulled her lip between his teeth in a gentle nip
before sweeping her into another blissfully heated kiss.

~~~

Anya drooled slightly on Xander’s bare shoulder as she slept the sleep of the replete and happy. Xander gently moved her to her own side and eased out of the
bed. Anya muttered something unintelligible but didn’t waken.

For a while, he really had stopped thinking about Buffy and the Abomination in the love clench. Anya was good at distracting him from his important friend
protection mode. Still, a good friend has to do what he can when his friends clearly lose their minds and Xander was nothing if not a good friend.

"Hello. Yes, Cordy, it’s me. Yeah, I know it’s kinda late, but I know Dead Boy keeps late hours. No, this isn’t about Darla and Dru…say, isn’t Darla of the
dead undead persuasion?" Xander let Cordy rattle on for a short while until his patience ran out. "Look, that’s all interesting in a creepy kind of way but not why I called. I need to talk to Angel, it’s important…………… Yes, big demony trouble. Now get him on the phone, please?"

~~~