Disclaimer: The pixies tell me that I don’t own the BTVS and ATS characters. However I had a nice little shouting match with them about who owned Ariel and Cat. Anyone notice how Ariel’s name is the same as my pen name? Huh? Coincidence? I think not.
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Chapter 17: Dinner party from Hell

The assembled congregation around Buffy’s new dinning room table was a mixed bag. Buffy was pretty sure that although Gable knew about Spike being a vampire and Buffy being the slayer, the fact that he was sitting at a table with a vengeance demon, a witch, a werewolf and two children from the future would completely drive him mad. Wouldn’t that be fun?

Cat had attached herself to Anya and Anya was looking very motherly (grandmotherly) with Buffy’s youngest.

“I’m sure you are my favourite of all my grandchildren,” said Anya lovingly.

“Not really,” came Ariel. “You liked Lizzy best, and then of course your real grandkids and great grandkids and great great grandkids.”

“Lizzy?” asked Buffy, through a mouthful of potatoes.

“Granny Anya always said she couldn’t help but have favourites of those who were named after her. But she had a lot of love to give so don’t go and feel neglected.”

“That sounds like something that Anya would say,” said Willow

“Lizzy was named after Anya?” asked Buffy.

“Elizabeth Anya,” said Ariel as she poured gravy on her turkey.

“How many kids did you have Buffy?” asked Andrew.

“I don’t know, I keep hearing names. I’m up to six now.”

“You don’t know how many kids you had?” asked Gable incredulously. “How can you not know how many kids you gave birth to?”

“Well it’s a funny story cause...”

“You leave her alone!” said Ariel angrily. “Her kids aren’t born yet! I’m not born yet. It’s not your business!”

Their was not a sound in the dining room.

“Could someone pass the broccoli?” asked Oz.

“We got the cage parts today,” said Spike, sipping his blood today, “I’ll give you a hand setting the thing up when you want.”

“Sure,” replied the werewolf.

“Cage?” asked Gable.

Ariel gave him a look.

“Why do you need a cage?”

“Not your business!” said Ariel again.

“Ariel Dawn! Enough!” said Spike.

Ariel looked down at her plate sheepishly.

“You have to forgive the child, Gable,” said Giles hospitably. “She’s had her life so disrupted that she most likely fears your intrusion to break up her family again.”

Spike heard an almost inaudible snort come from his daughter. Oz and Anya heard it too.

“I just wanted to know if you had plans for me in that cage, I wondered if I’d graduated from the bathtub of captivity,” said Gable bitterly.

“You put him in the bathtub? Like Spike?” asked Anya. “I’d consider that a mark of honour actually. I didn’t get chained up in the bathtub.”

“You were already of the not when you came started hanging out with us,” replied Buffy. “There was no need for bathtub time.”

“Can we not talk about the bathtub? It was a very traumatic experience for me,” said Spike.

Buffy giggled.

“I agree, I want to hear more about my various offspring,” said Anya. “It will distract me from the fact that I am once more eating the carcass of a bird.”

“Anya’s flirting with vegetarianism,” explained Willow.

Anya looked at Ariel eager for more information. Ariel refused to budge. She kept her mouth shut.

“The bit’s not going to give up any more information than she wants to. Lay off demon girl,” said Spike.

Anya pouted.

“Demon girl?” asked Gable.

“Oh Spike just comes up with nick names for us all,” said Dawn.

“Willow is Red, I’m demon girl,” said Anya proudly.

“Dawn is Platelet, or nibblit, or bit,” said Willow.

“But it seems that Ariel is getting to be called bit now,” whined Dawn.

“Don’t worry platelet, you will always have a place in this old soul’s dead unbeating heart,” said Spike with a smile.

Dawn smiled.

“Right, and Oz is wolf boy, Xander is whelp or the boy, Giles is the watcher, and Buffy...” said Willow.

“Buffy is Goldilocks, Slayer, pet and love,” beamed Buffy. “Now we just have to find out what he’s going to call you.” Buffy smiled evilly.

“And you are all ok with the fact that you are sitting at a table with a vampire?” asked Gable.

“That Vampire is my da!” said Ariel.

“Huh?”

“We are all comfortable with Spike. He saved the world you know,” said Anya, feeding Cat a spoonful of potato.

“He’s a vampire.”

“So?” asked Anya, “I’ve known a lot of vampires, and frankly he’s the nicest one I’ve ever had sex with. Buffy is certainly a lucky woman.”

“Anya!” gasped Willow.

“What? It’s true.”

“There are children at the table!”

Ariel cringed.

“Ewwwwww! You and Da! Ewwwww!”

“Oh I see you are still at the age where the idea of your parents participating in that kind of activity is nauseating.”

“I want to believe that my parents only did... that... eleven times thank you very much,” Ariel cringed again.

“Eleven times!” screamed Buffy.

“Bloody Hell!” agreed Spike. “Did you ever stop woman?”

“Me? It takes two to tango buster!”

“Dear Lord,” said Giles as he reached for his handkerchief.

“Two words, Birth control,” said Dawn.

“It won’t help,” said Ariel.

“Can we talk about something else, I beg you,” said Giles.

“I agree,” said Buffy.

There was silence.

“This is excellent turkey Buffy,” said Oz.
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Buffy was eternally grateful when Gable finally left her house, and the discussion of her prolific sex life and spawning of children was at an end.

She couldn’t believe it, eleven kids. What the hell was she thinking? Buffy could only shake her head in continued disbelief.

Buffy groaned, only to see Willow return to the dining room, having finished the dishes with Anya’s help.

“It’s time I headed back,” said Willow reluctantly. “I’m going to be bloody nose girl for the rest of the night.”

Buffy nodded.

“I’m glad you came Willow. I’m sure Oz liked seeing you too,” she grinned.

Willow smiled.

“I liked seeing him too.”

“Now that you don’t have a girlfriend issue, do you think, maybe Oz will want to see you more?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know what to think or do, it’s strange, being confronted with possibilities again. All I know is that I don’t want to be in a Kennedy type relationship again.”

“Kennedy girl relationship or...”

“Kennedy bitch relationship.” Willow smiled evilly.

“Where is Oz anyway?” asked Buffy.

“He had a rehearsal with his new band.”

“Ah yes, Wolves on a Merry-go-round.”

“I like the name.”

Anya took that moment to enter the room with a sleeping Cat on her hip.

“Can I take her home with me?” asked Anya, “I just love her to pieces.”

“Some day you will have your own, Anya,” said Buffy taking Cat from her, “This one is mine. Number eleven of mine actually.”

“Eleven kids Buffy...” marvelled Willow.

“I want two, that is all,” said Anya, “A boy, and a girl.”

“You don’t always get what you want Anya,” said Willow.

“Sterling William Rupert and Christina Cecily Aud,” continued Anya.

Earning a few looks from her friends she continued.

“My children’s names, Sterling William Rupert, and Christina Cecily Aud. What you have never thought about this?”

“Trevor Rupert and Joyce Anne,” said Buffy. “But apparently I had the opportunity to explore other names, cause I have eleven of them.”

“What about you Willow?”

“Jesse Alexander, and Jennifer Tara.”

“Mummy!” squealed Cat, who had just woken up.

“Bed time for you little one,” said Buffy, “You’ve had a long and exciting day.”

“Well we must go,” said Anya, “But I will see you again Kitty Cat!” Anya planted a kiss on Cat’s nose. “I want one just like her.”

“Come on Anya,” said Willow.

Buffy bade Cat to wave good bye and Anya and Willow disappeared in a flash of light.
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The mid October weather was starting to get to Buffy. She was a California girl. She didn’t enjoy the cold. This particular night she was patrolling, with Spike, on the far side of town that she hardly ever patrolled.

The truth was that Cleveland was dull. Vamp activity wise. There didn’t seem to be any demons or others trying to end the world. Just the run of the mill vamps catching their happy meals. Giles had assured her that the Cleveland hellmouth was the most active on the planet. If this was active...Well it just seemed to her that this was extremely boring.

Buffy spent her days being the stay at home mom. She guessed her kids were lucky in that they had a stay at home dad too.

Ariel had come home from school the other day to say that it was bring your kid to work day soon. She had had to explain just what her parents did for a living.

Buffy was just glad that her daughter could think on her feet. How do you explain to the rest of grade 7 that your parents were champions of the powers that be and fight things that everyone knows to be make believe?

Cat had been getting her headaches regularly, about once a week. It worried Buffy to no end, but there was nothing she could do. Ariel seemed adamant that Cat not go to the hospital. She only wished she knew what was causing the pain.

Buffy looked over at her lover. He was so much more than that now. It was different now that she knew what was going to happen, that she was going to marry this man and have his eleven kids. Eleven kids!

Buffy reached over and held his hand.

“Penny for your thoughts?” she asked.

Spike exhaled loudly.

“It seems too good to be true, you know, that everything is all going to work out and ...them, Ariel and Cat. I know that I told Ariel that we wouldn’t push about the hows and whys but bloody hell Buffy, How? Why?”

Buffy smiled.

“I know how you feel. I’m just surprised that it took you this long to tell me. Doesn’t it bother you that if we do any little thing to screw up the future, they won’t exist?”

“It’s right troubling it is.”

“I’m not supposed to have kids Spike, I’m supposed to die sometime in the next two years. No slayer has ever lived past 25, and here I am immortal, except for the fact that potentially my kids can kill me, or Dawn, and in our house right now is proof that Vampires and Slayers can procreate.”

Spike only smiled.

“I love them Spike, I don’t know how it happened. I just know that they are mine and that I love them. I’ve only known them for a couple of weeks and I love them. They’ve turned our lives upside down and yet...I look at Cat and I know that she’s mine and yours and ours.”

They walked in silence for a few more feet.

“And here’s what I don’t get; the First told me that the reason that it was making a move was because of the imbalance with the Slayers, that there were two. The First is back in what ever year that Ariel and Cat are from, does that mean that I died again? And brought back again? Arg, it’s so frustrating not knowing!”

“We aren’t meant to know pet, Ariel isn’t supposed to tell us.”

“I know. I just want answers.”
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tbc...