Disclaimer: Alas, Spike is not mine.
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Chapter 24: Moody Teens

Buffy trotted down stairs and into the kitchen, hungry, due to her earlier exploits.

You are supposed to eat something after you’ve given blood right?

As she closed the fridge door she was confronted by the dour expression on her sister’s face.

Buffy smiled. “Dawn! What can I do for you?”

“How about not screaming bloody murder when you are getting boned by Spike?”

Buffy’s hand flew to her mouth.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry!”

“Sure you are. I had to send the kids outside, Willow’s trying to sleep. Giles left to visit Gable. I had to listen to Andrew go on and on about the beauty of love.”

“And Oz and Xander?”

“Who called?” asked the one eyed watcher, coming up from the basement.

“That’s one basement dweller accounted for,” muttered Dawn.

In the silence that followed, while Buffy gulped down her juice, the trio were suddenly aware of a new set of moans and banging from above.

“You aren’t....” Dawn trailed off looking at Buffy.

“Not the Buffster this time Dawnie,” supplied Xander.

They all turned to look at Spike who was coming down the stairs and into the kitchen. He smiled at Buffy and kissed her head as he passed the trio on his way to the fridge.

“But if you are both here....” began Dawn again.

“Sounds like wolf boy and the witch have finally resolved their differences,” said Spike helping himself to left over egg rolls.

The trio standing in the doorway to the kitchen looked up at the ceiling.
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They were all in the living room, well the adults who were still in the house anyway, when Willow came down stairs, Oz following close behind, holding her hand.

Buffy raised an eyebrow, unknowingly mimicking Spike’s expression.

“Oh goddess, they know!” whispered Willow.

“Duh!” said Dawn.

“Willow, I need you to do a little spell for me,” said Buffy. “Soundproofing.”

Willow blushed. “Hey!” she said suddenly. “Not entirely the only guilty ones here! Guilty ones!” Willow pointed at Spike and Buffy.

“I think it is entirely unfair that Buffy and Spike and now Willow and Oz are getting orgasms, and not me. And don’t you dare think that is a come on Xander Harris!” said Anya, her arms crossed. “I have had no luck finding a fuck buddy here in Cleveland.”

“Dawn the kids are still outside right?” asked Buffy worried that impressionable young ears had heard the word Fuck buddy.

“In the back yard, away from Anya’s foul mouth,” agreed Dawn.

“Hey!”

“I tell it like I see it,” explained Dawn. “Buffy don’t you have to go pick up Dad and the step thing?”

Buffy snapped her head to look at the clock on the mantel piece. “Oh god, I do. I have to get dressed!”

Buffy ran up stairs.
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Buffy arrived at the airport with time to spare, She had changed her tee and jean cut offs for a smart pair of pants and a long sleeved blouse. She hadn’t really talked much to her Dad or Valery for a month or more, certainly not since Ariel and Cat showed up.

She predicted badness once they got back to the house.

A week of badness. Just until they left.

“Buffy!” gushed Valery, enveloping her step daughter into a hug.

Buffy stood stiff as a board waiting for the unasked for hug to subside.

“Valery. How was your flight?”

“Lovely.”

Is it just me or is the step thing overly cheerful? Buffy asked herself.

Her dad reached over and patted her back.

“Buffy. Where’s Dawn?” her Dad said looking around for the youngest Summers.

“She’s at home.”

“She didn’t come to greet us?”

“No. Let’s get your bags.”

The truth was that Dawn had refused on the principal that Valery wanted her to come back with them to LA. Dawn was bitter. Bitter Dawn just made the impending week of doom even more fun to look forward to.
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Mr Summers’ white sedan pulled into the drive way of the Pinehill street house and Buffy leapt out of the back seat wanting to be the first into the house. Her dad had insisted that he drive, despite his unfamiliarity with the city.

Buffy grabbed her dad’s bags and headed in through the front door.

“Oh you are back,” said Dawn sardonically. “What are we having for dinner?”

“It’s Oz’s turn to cook, ask him.”

“He’s all mushy with Willow, you think I want to get in the middle of wolfy love? Think again.”

“Is Giles back?” Buffy asked, as she moved out of the doorway to let in her father.

“Ya, they are in the office.”

“They?”

“He brought Gable back with him, and Anya is being all flirty.”

“With Gable?”

“No, Giles.”

“Dawn!” said her father happily.

“Dad, Valery.” Dawn nodded in their direction.

“Dawn can you assemble the troops? So we can have introduction time?”

Dawn shrugged and headed up the stairs.

Turning to her father and Valery Buffy sighed.

“Um, sorry about her? Anyway we are putting you in a bedroom up stairs...”

Down the stairs came a line of people. Dawn, Giles, Gable, Anya, Willow, Oz, Spike, Ariel, Cat, all headed past the three in the hallway and into the living room. It was all very Brady bunch.

“Xander! Andrew! get your butts up here!” shouted Dawn into the kitchen as she passed.

“There are more of them?” asked Valery in awe.

Andrew and Xander scrambled up from the basement.

“Sorry we were playing play station,” mumbled Andrew.

Looking into the living room Buffy noted two things, first that she had way too many people in her house, second, that she needed another couch.

“K, introductions,” said Buffy moving past the French doors to the living room and making room for Valery and her dad to follow. “Starting on the couch...Anya, Vengeance Demon, don’t say ‘I wish’ while you are in the house, k?”

“I’m free lance, so I don’t have to grant your vengeance wish, but I could!” said Anya happily.

“She’s in the room off the dinning room. Next to her,” continued Buffy, “You know Willow, Witch. Lives in the attic.”

Willow waved.

“Then Oz, Werewolf, musician, bedroom down stairs.”

“Hey,” said the stoic wolf.

“Then, standing, Gable, he doesn’t live here, Demon Hunter. Giles, my watcher, head of watcher’s council, lives in England, sleeping in the office for the duration. Xander, I think you met him in LA, he’s a watcher now too, lives in the basement. Andrew, another watcher, kinda, lives in England, on the couch for the duration. You know Dawn of course, mystical green key person. And Spike, he drove Dawn here. He’s my mate.”

Buffy waited for the words to sink in.

“Oh!” said Anya happily, “Is that what you two were doing this morning? Then I forgive you the loud sex.”

Buffy’s eyes went wide and Spike covered Cat’s ears. Ariel’s face went bright red.

“Traumatised for life now Granny Anya! Thanks ever so much!” said Ariel.

“Oh, please, you aren’t even born yet!” said Anya. “They still have to have sex to conceive you!”

Buffy turned to her father and Valery who were taking this all in.

“So your mate, is that like what, engaged?” asked Valery.

“It’s marriage for vampires,” supplied Anya.

“Vampires?” asked Mr Summers.

“Spike is a Vampire,” stated Dawn.

“A Vampire?” gulped Valery.

“Cause the werewolf and the vengeance demon didn’t scare her....” muttered Dawn to Anya.

“And then we have Ariel, with the trauma and Catherine,” said Buffy ruffling Cat’s curly locks.

“And they are what? Pixies?” said Valery regaining her sense of sarcasm.

“No, they are my children, from the future, Spike’s their father.”

Buffy watched as her father’s mouth hung open.

“Congrats Dad, you are a grandpa.”

“Is introduction time over?” asked Dawn rudely.

“Dawn...” warned Buffy.

“So, who’s up for Chinese for supper?” asked Oz.

“We had Chinese for dinner three days ago,” moaned Ariel.

Ariel walked up closer to her grandfather.

“Mum told me once that I had your ears, I don’t see it.”

“Ariel!” hissed Buffy. “Don’t be rude.”

“Crusty old Aunt Dawn can be rude but I can’t?” asked Ariel.

“Yes, she has gripes, you have never met these people before!” Buffy began to raise her voice.

“I am so out of here,” said Xander darting for the kitchen and the basement.

“Wait for me, nuclear meltdowns don’t agree with me,” added Andrew, following.

“Please continue with the family turmoil,” said Anya happily.

“Gah!” Ariel threw her hands up in frustration.

“I don’t understand, how is she, what is she, twelve? When were you pregnant?” asked Mr Summers.

“Not were, Dad, going to be. Gah!” Buffy raised her hands in confusion.

Dawn snickered. “No they aren’t alike at all...”

“What joy is mine,” said Spike whimsically.

“Eleven of them Spike, you have eleven of them to look forward to...” said Willow.
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tbc...