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Double Bubble, Toil and.... by slaymesoftly
 
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Title: Double Bubble, Toil and…
Author: Slaymesoftly
Season: Alternate Season IV, during the Will Be Done Spell.
Rating: R?
Disclaimer: Joss said we could play with them, so I’m playing. Some dialogue may seem familiar if it was taken from a episode of the show. Those would someone else’s words, not mine, obviously.
Distribution: Written for the Good_Evil Community, so no snatching without permission.
Notes: Beta’d by the patient and willing Always_jbj * hugs * This is supposed to be “evil Willow”, but I’m afraid it’s more like “petulant Willow”; and, of course, it has a Spuffy slant because I don’t seem to capable of writing anything else. The lovely banner was done for me by Tales of Spike – thank you, Sandy!


Double Bubble, Toil and…

“Why is Buffy kissing Spike? And why is Giles standing around doing nothing as though he can’t see it? And Xander and Anya? What are they doing in a crypt at night? They don’t go patrolling with Buffy. What’s going on here?” Willow’s voice was more puzzled than concerned; even though it was obvious her friends were in dire straits.

“You don’t remember your spell?” the tall, horned demon in the green robes asked with a frown. “It was excellent. Some of the best vengeance I’ve seen in years.”

“V…vengeance?”

“Why, yes. What else would you call it? The man who refused to listen to you is now blind and can do nothing but listen. The friend who was more interested in finding a vampire than staying with you is now in love with that vampire – a love, which, interestingly enough, he seems to return…” The demons voice trailed off as he rubbed his chin in thought. “Interesting….”

“I said they might as well get married,” Willow mumbled, beginning to see where he was going with this. “And I told Xander he was a demon-magnet. This is all my fault!”

“Exactly!” the demon crowed triumphantly. “You managed to wreak appropriate vengeance on each one of them, all by yourself, with no help from a vengeance demon. You are a natural!”

“But my friends…they’re being hurt! I didn’t want that to happen.”

“You didn’t? Are you sure?” His amber eyes bored into hers in a manner that left no room for equivocating.

“Well, I mean…I was hurt…and they weren’t being very sympathetic, so…But I didn’t mean for this to happen! I mean, Giles- blind? How will he read his books? And Buffy and Spike? That’s just ewwwwww!”

“They don’t seem to think so,” D-Hoffryn commented mildly, gesturing at the viewing portal he’d opened. The vampire and Slayer could clearly be seen rubbing their pelvises together while their lips remained locked in what Willow was sure was one of the longest kisses she’d ever seen. She quickly looked away from the two blonds making out on the floor of the crypt and over to where her best friend and his girlfriend were battling for their lives.

“Well, I didn’t mean for every demon in the world to attack Xander!” she sputtered. “I can’t believe he’s not dead yet. Look at them!”

“I don’t believe they are trying to kill him….”

“Well then why are they…oh! Oh goddess!” Her eyes flew to the leader of all vengeance demons and she said, “I’ve got to stop this! He’s already got a demon – One should be enough for anybody.”

“Ah yes. Anyanka. Such a loss.” He gave a heavy sigh.

“Can you stop them?” she asked suddenly. “Just the demons attacking Xander and Anya. Can you make them stop without my having to break the spell?”

The old demon shook his head. “I could not do that, although I can, perhaps, make their attentions somewhat less…enthusiastic. Thereby decreasing the chances that your friend will be injured accidentally by an overly aroused demon.”

Willow looked thoughtful. “Okay, let’s do that, then. Just do something so that Xander doesn’t get hurt – not physically, anyway.”

“And the rest?”

“Oh,” she said with firm conviction, “I think I’ll leave them to suffer for the way they ignored me. For a while longer, anyway. Let them see how much they like being ignored when they need help.”

“So, you are taking my offer, then?” he asked hopefully.

“Oh, no. I don’t think so,” Willow responded cheerfully. “It looks to me like I can wreak vengeance any time I want to as long as my spell is in effect. I don’t think I need you. But thanks for asking. Can I go back now?”

He handed her a business card with flaming letters on it. “Please, keep my card. Should you change your mind, you will always be able to reach me with this.”

“Okey, dokie,” she agreed, putting the card in her pocket. “Now send me back. I want them to know who did this to them.”

With a loud whoosh and a puff of smoke, Willow found herself standing in a crypt where the Watcher was clinging to the wall with one hand, begging for someone to tell him what was going on. The sounds of violence had ceased and all he could hear now were Spike and Buffy’s loud moans of frustrated lust as they tried to restrain themselves in front of the other Scoobies, and Anya’s angry shouting as she tried to keep the now obviously amorous demons away from Xander.

Willow looked around in satisfaction at the discomfort on the faces of her friends. She had to admit that Buffy seemed quite happy to be kissing Spike, but a closer look at her friend’s lust-filled expression and the vampire’s amber-flashing eyes told her that they were finding nothing comfortable about being surrounded by other people. She found herself giggling at their subtle attempts to dry hump without allowing anyone to realize what they were doing.

She walked over to Giles and casually poked him, laughing when the Watcher jumped into a defensive posture and flailed around with the piece of wood he was holding, searching desperately for the danger he expected to encounter.

“Relax, Giles, it’s only me,” Willow said – then winced when he immediately allowed himself to slump against the wall, thereby hitting his own head on the stone.

Note to self – be very careful about saying anything that could be interpreted as a command or wish!
 
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