"Stupid movie," Buffy exclaimed.

"What's wrong pet, I thought you were enjoying it?" Spike was tempted to turn and look at her, but he was too comfortable. Actually Spike was in heaven, or very close to it. He'd been good the rest of the day, and this was his reward, lying down with his head in Buffy's lap as she ran her fingers through his hair as they watched the movie.

"I just think. . . I mean kids watch this stuff. Is that really how we want America's youth to grow up?"

Spike was puzzled. "What? You object to, 'With great power comes great responsibility.' I thought that was on page one of the Slayer's Handbook?"

"Please page one of 'The Slayer's Handbook' is all about how this world used to be just another hell dimension, and all about the Old Ones and stuff. They don't even mention Slayers until Chapter 3."

Spike rolled over onto his back to look up at her. "There's no such thing."

Buffy giggled, "There is really, I swear. Come on, you don't believe that the Watcher's Council has a book for everything?"

"All right, you got me there. So what exactly is your gripe with Peter Parker?"

"I don't have a gripe, I just don't think. . . I mean he's just a bad role model is all. I mean, would you do things the way he did?"

"Well, I don't stick to walls, but can't see much wrong with him, other than the fact that he didn't shag that Mary-Jane into oblivion. I bet she's a real tiger in the sack. Think she's a real red-head?"

"Oh, for God's sake, is that all you think about?" he just smirked up at her. "You know, a relationship is more than just sex."

"Well, yeah, but it's one of the benefits. Look, there in love right? So why shouldn't they shag each other silly?"

"He left her. Remember?"

"So he's young and dumb. Granted. Actually you're right, he's bloody idiot. No man with an ounce of sense walks away from a girl like that."

"A girl like what?" her voice was suddenly quite, shy.

"A girl who loves you. A girl you love."

"What world do you live in Spike. Guys leave girls like that all the time."

He sat up and put one arm around her shoulder. "You obviously didn't get the Girlfriend's Handbook did you?" she looked at him, startled, and hurt. He lifted his other hand, and clumsily tried to brush her hair back away from her face, "You know what it say's on page one?" he smiled, "Men are bloody idiots."

She laughed and leaned in to him, hugging him and resting her head on his shoulder. "So how'd you get a copy?"

"Nicked it."

"So what else does it say?"

"Well, it says that vanilla is a very sexy smell, but not as sexy as a strong independent woman, and that green eyes are the most beautiful in the world. . . oh, and gentlemen prefer blonds, and you deserve beautiful things, diamonds and flowers and silk sheets, and all the happiness in the world. That you should wake up every morning, looking into the eyes of the man you love. Oh, and most importantly, it says that it's not your fault. . . I'm so sorry Buffy."

She looked up at him, resting her hand on his chest. "For what?"

"For Riley. I should never taken you there that night. I did everything I could to get rid of him. If I'd really loved you back then, I would have just wanted you to be happy, even if it was with the tin solider."

"Hey, it was good you showed me. Even if you did it for selfish reasons. I needed to know. He could have gotten hurt, and that wouldn't have been good. No, it was my fault. I never let him know how much he meant to me."

"Yeah, well, then, I know how that goes. . . You know . . . she, she never said it. Not once, in over a hundred years. I mean she would say 'I love it when you hurt me,' or 'I love it when you make them scream.' or even 'I love the way the blo-'" Buffy covered his mouth with her hand.

"I get the idea."

"Yeah, well, she never said she loved me. Never once. So maybe you liked him. Maybe you liked being with him. But maybe, if you never said you loved him, you never really did."

"You're wrong. I told him I loved him. I told him all time, just like I told Angel, my father, Giles. Well maybe not all the time with Giles. Anyway it's not just guys you know. I mean, how many times have I had to convince Dawn that I loved her. That she was the most important thing in the world to me. No it's me Spike. It is my fault. No one ever believes me." Her eyes were starting to tear up. Then she pulled away from him. "Even you. You didn't believe me. No one ever believes me."

He froze for a second. All this time she'd been unwilling to talk about anything Sunnydale related, and now there it was. That wonderful terrible moment when she'd told him that she loved him.

"That was different love. That was the end of the world, and fire and death. You want me to believe you. Then say it. Say it now. Look in my eyes and tell me you love me." He raised his hand to her face, and cupped her cheek, so that she was looking him straight in the eye.

She looked away.

"Say it Buffy. What are you afraid of? You know I love you. You tell me, here and now, and I'll believe it."

Why was he pushing. He knew it was a stupid thing to do. He knew she wouldn't say it because she didn't love him. It was silly to force the issue. All this was going to do was get him hurt, but he couldn't help it. There was the masochist in him. That stupid part of him that wouldn't give up on her no matter what. That said it didn't matter how many times she trampled all over his heart. That just the slightest chance that she might love him, no matter how slim it was had to be pursued, because if she did it was worth any amount of pain along the way.

"Spike," her voice was pleading sorry. He could hear it coming, the 'I just don't feel that way,' or worse yet 'I love you as a friend.' Then her hand came up and covered his hand on her cheek. She finally looked up at him, and for a moment they just sat there, looking deep into each other eyes searching for something.

"Spike. . . I . . .I--"

RING!

Both their eyes looked toward the kitchen area, the spell broken.

RING!

The phone on the wall was ringing.

"Bloody . . . Who the hell?"

"I should get that." Buffy quickly got up and picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

Spike sank back into the couch. Pissed off. Who the hell could be calling him? And why did they have to call now? Not that she had really been going to say it. But for a moment there, he thought. Just a second when he thought she might.

Maybe it was better this way. He didn't really need her to tell him that she didn't love him again.

The credits had finished, and now the annoying menu music was playing on the DVD. He stared in consternation, wondering how he could stop it. Then he noticed the small green light on the front of the Playstation2. Fred had told him that if held that button down until the light went red it would turn it off. She had brought it over that afternoon when the doctor came by. It was supposed to be part of his therapy. Though right now Spike found it too painful to try and curl his fingers around the controller.

Instead he sank down on his knees, and tried to turn it off, but the stupid little button was flat against the front of the machine. He managed to push it a little, but all that did was restart the thing, flashing the FBI warning in front of him. He tried again and again, but he couldn't manage to keep the button held down. Over and over the screen flashed FBI, FBI, FBI. Just when he was about to try throwing the thing across the room, Buffy came back and knelt down beside him and easily turned it off.

He hated her. Hated her for doing that easily.

"Um, that was, that was Angel."

Figures, he thought. It never failed, the moment he had a chance, the moment things were going good for him, Angel inevitably came along and bolloxed the whole thing up.

"He's um, he's coming by to pick me up. He wants to talk about some stuff. So, um, do you want me to put another movie in for you?"

He had no idea what to say to her. He was stunned. This was too much even from her. One moment they were talking, really talking like they hadn't in so long, and now she was running off to Angel. All he had to do was call, and Buffy came running like a little lap dog, eager to lick his hand, and probably other parts as well.

"Wouldn't want to inconvenience you. Don't you have to get ready and all. Big date, shouldn't you be doing your hair?"

"Spike it's not a date, it's just. . . Look if you need me to stay."

He got up and walked away from her.

"Just go. Angel's waiting, right. Just get out of here. I don't need you."

"Spike. . ."

"I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT!"

"Fine, I'll be back."

When he heard the door close behind her, Spike sank down and started crying. Stupid bitch. She wasn't supposed to go. Didn't she know that.

**********

Angel closed the laptop, cutting off the sound of Spike's sobbing along with the video feed.

"Harmony!"

"Yeah boss?" the perky blond peaked her head in the office door.

"Harmony, I need you to go to Spike's, and get him to sign these papers, it's for his treatment."

"Uh boss. I would, you know I would, it's just the Slayer's there, and there was this thing with her sister, and. . ."

"It's okay Harmony. She won't be there. I'm taking her out for a few drinks. I'll give you a ride over there, you can stay out of sight till we leave, and she'll never now you were there."