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Summerland-


Some time after her mother's shocking comment, Buffy was found sitting silently by the stream watching the fish swim serenely. Whistler walked up with his hands in his pockets and looked at her with his held tilted in curiosity, "Hey kid. Whatcha got goin' on in that melon of yours?"


She looked up at him quickly, surprised that she hadn't realized he was there, but then looked back down just as quickly. "You soo don't wanna know. Just a buncha muffled Buffy brain messiness."


He made a non-committal noise and sat down pulling his knees up and resting his elbows on them, hands clasped. They sat in a surprisingly companionable silence for a few minutes until Buffy broke the quiet.


"So...what’s the dealio huh? When do I get to go back?"


Whistler turned to look at her but she was still watching the fish. He looked up at the sky, hesitant, "Not yet."


This time she did look at him, and when she did so it was unwavering and sharp, "Not yet? What does that mean? Why not yet? When yet?"


"Do you have any idea how crazy you sound? How funny you talk?" He asked hoping to derail the train this conversation was following.


It worked.


"Unh," she made an indignant sound, "I am not crazy. And I don't talk funny. Everyone I know talks like this." She thought for a moment, "Well, 'cept Giles. And Spike. And Angel. And my mom. And you."


Yeah, it worked, for like a second. She shook her head violently, "Ugh, so not the point. You're not distracting me that easily oh boy wonder de immortality. When?"



"Not yet." He raised his hand to hold off any remark she might have, "That's all I can tell you. It's just not time yet."


She slumped her shoulders and pouted, "So, what am I supposed to do until then? Hang out with you?" She shuddered as if disgusted, "Please tell me I don't have to hang out with you..?"


"Well...."


"Argh! Are you sure this isn't hell? God! Don't the Powers, as mighty as they supposedly are, know how frickin' crazy you make me?" She turned and pointed an accusing finger at him, "You bring out the inner seventeen year old girl that I'd all but gotten rid of. I've matured past name calling and noise making. Only you can make me so insane." She thought better of it after a second, "Well, you and Spike anyway. You both make a crazy Buffy."


"Well, I'm sorry that you don't find me endearing." He responded unapologetically. "But that's neither here nor there. You can't leave yet so you might as well deal."


She made a whiney noise and adopted a pout again, "I don't wanna deal." She sat with crossed arms for a time until she made another disgusted noise and whacked Whistler on the arm, "See! God!"


He rubbed his arm, thankful he was an immortal demon that she couldn't really harm and regarded her amused, "How about if we gave you something to do?"


She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, "Like what? There isn't exactly a mall to go to or a theatre to go to. It's just a big, huge empty space of nothing but grass." She motioned towards the area around them rolling her eyes, "Oh yeah, just oodles and oodles of fun to be had here."


Whistler shook his head, "The sarcasm coming from you is so unwarranted. I'm tryin' to do something for you here. It's certainly not for me. I could care less what’s going on in Sunnydale."


Aha! he thought. That got her attention.



She turned on him quickly, curiosity shining brightly in her eyes, "Whaddya mean, what's going on in Sunnydale?"


He seemed put off, "Well, I was gonna let you watch what was going on. I mean, you are going back after all. Would probably help if you knew everything that had happened. Plus, you're bored, I don't wanna hear you whining and I really don't wanna get hit anymore. So I figured, hey, why not?" He turned away from her and made to stand up, "But...since I make you so crazy, I'll just leave you be. I don't want to affect your mental capacity anymore; we need you having coherent thoughts."


Buffy stood up quickly also, "Uh-uh buster. I wanna watch. I won't hit. I won't go crazy. I'll be the perfect picture of picture perfect. Promise."


Whistler started walking towards the Oak tree that Joyce still sat under, "Yeah, sure you will." He turned to her as she fell into step with him, "Somehow I just don't see that lasting long."


_______________________________________________________


Sunnydale-


Spike walked up the stairs leading from the basement hoping that there were still a couple bags of blood in the fridge. He wasn't even sure how many bags he'd devoured when Dawn had brought him in here the other day. He'd just known that the wounds he'd sustained from his fall needed mending, so he ate until he felt the blood begin to work it's magic. The boy had in fact gotten him several bags of O neg from the hospital instead of pig swill from the butchers' he'd assumed he'd be drinking. The only reason he could come up with was that Rupert and Dawn had told him that the human blood would help heal his wounds faster, and seeing as he would be the main muscle in patrols now, he needed his strength.


There were still a few stragglers remaining of the demons that had come through the portal before Buffy... "No. Not goin’ there mate." He muttered to himself as he searched the fridge for any remaining packets.


Luckily his thought process was cut off when he heard the front door open and close. Harris and Anyanka. He'd know the smell wafting from the boy anywhere. But that wasn't what revealed to him the identity of the two humans entering the Summers' home, it was the inerrant nattering spouting from the ex-demon's mouth. He rolled his eyes as he abandoned his search of sustenance.


He wasn't sure he'd ever understand how their relationship worked.


Demon Girl was, well, an ex-demon obviously, but also increasingly money hungry, socially retarded and clearly obsessed with sex. He really liked her.


The boy was a simpering fool most of the time, socially retarded, just not in the same way, not in anyway money hungry or obsessed with sex, even if his girl was. But he was prone to hilarity and loyal to no end. Even if he was only mildly tolerable on certain occasions. Spike ignored the niggling voice in the back of his head telling him that he actually liked said simpering fool and opted to scowl as they entered.


"Look Ahn, Sleeping Ugly awakens." Xander exclaimed as he entered the kitchen followed closely by Anya. "We come bearing your brand of munchies Sir Chippiness." He held up a brown sack, full of what Spike was hoping was more packets of blood.


"Yes, everyone else has 'important' work to do today." Anya offered, making the quote marks in the air as she said important. "But what do we get to do? Bring the former Master, currently neutered, injured vampire his din-din. Humph." She complained sitting heavily on the stool at the kitchen island. "They won't give us anything vital to do. I could be at the shop. Making money. I could be useful that way. But noo, here I sit watching the aforementioned vampire heat up his blood in an 'I heart Huckabee's' mug."


No one responded to her rant, Spike simply arched his scarred eyebrow and Xander responded with a shrug and a look that clearly said, 'there's no point.' The microwave dinged breaking the silence and Spike retrieved his mug. He lifted it to his lips, but before taking a drink his eyes met Xander's over the top of the mug and he mumbled a quick 'thanks' before covering with a huge gulp.


Xander nodded once then filled the vacancy of the second stool gesturing to Anya with his thumb, "Like the lady said, everyone's off doing their designated job, so we got the wonderfully delightful pleasure of making sure our resident vamp gets all his vitamins and minerals like a good boy."


Spike scowled again, but Xander could see no fire behind it, "I'm no bloody kept pet whelp. You'd do well to remember that."


Xander let out a mock fear filled gasp and grabbed Anya by her shoulders, placing her slightly in front of himself, "Help Anya! His scolding, it...scolds." He laughed and let go of her arms while she simply rolled her eyes at his antics and Spike let loose a muted growl.


They all knew that they were simply dealing with things the only way they knew how and no one's feelings were the worse for wear. Spike was projecting his 'Big Bad' image, full of shit and swagger. Xander had reverted to trying to make it into the final rounds of the Class Clown Awards. And Anya was blathering on as tactlessly and bluntly as the norm.


For her, this was totally new. Sure, she had mourned the death of Joyce Summers. She had been sad. She'd missed her quite a lot. But this? This was strange, uncharted territory where she was concerned. Of course she hadn't been as close to Buffy as the others. Nowhere near it in fact. But she had considered her a friend. And not simply by proxy. She'd cared about the Slayer in her own obscure and naive way.


The most obvious and biggest reason being that Buffy had saved the world numerous times. And that was something that Anya benefited from entirely, if not solely. Buffy saving the world all the times that she had, enabled Anya to make the money she loved and treasured so much. It also allowed her to buy many things, thereby allowing her to continue the cycle of economics and capitalism. She also cared deeply for the people around her and even the people not around her. She cared enough to fight hard enough to save the world so many times.


See above, Re: money made, money spent.


Buffy was also extremely important and special to her Xander. That had threatened Anya before, the same way Xander's relationship with Willow had. But she knew now that she was the only one for Alexander Lavelle Harris, so she allowed their closeness.


Buffy also wasn't exactly unfun to be around. Life was always entertaining and lively when in the company of the Slayer and her Scoobies. Anya's life was in no way lacking in excitement that was for sure. There were several other reasons for her sadness and her current state of brooding, but they were all of an indeterminate origin and Anya wasn't exactly in the mood for a round of introspection at the moment.

She was brought from her inner musings when she heard Spike turn on the faucet to rinse out his mug. She jerked to attention completely when he turned around to face Xander and herself and spoke.

"So what are these 'important' jobs then?" Spike asked crossing his arms and leaning against the kitchen sink. He knew very well what everyone was doing, he just didn't want to think about it because that would be admitting it and he wasn't sure he was really ready to fully hop in the streetcar named Admission. But simply asking the question he already knew the answer to swiftly replaced the previously light air of humor with the stagnant odor of mourning.


Xander cleared his throat before he began speaking quietly, "Giles, Tara and Dawn went to the funeral home to make all the arrangements." He fidgeted in his sit a bit, "Giles figured that Dawn would want to be involved since it's her sister and all and he figured it would go smoother if Tara was with her."


Spike nodded sagely, "Yeah, Glenda’s good at keeping everything all kosher and calm." He uncrossed his arms and set them to rest on the counter at his sides. "Was prob'ly a good idea that he had her tag along, what with the Bit bein' all emotional and what not."


The young brunet said a quiet 'yeah' and then began scanning over everything in the room to avoid meeting the blond's eyes. He knew what the next question was gonna be and wasn't exactly looking forward to answering it. It didn't really have much of anything to do with sparing Spike's feelings, just the simple fact that the whole subject matter left a bad taste in his mouth.


"So then...where's Red?"


It was inevitable, he knew, but he wanted to ignore it nonetheless. Xander found a spot on the island counter that absolutely fascinated him and was silent for a bit before answering. When he did, he barely opened his mouth and if it hadn't been for Spike's supernatural hearing, he would've missed it. "She's in L.A."


Spike rolled his eyes, slumping his shoulders and causing his hands to drop from the counter, to hang limply at his sides. "Great! Just what we need; 'His Mopiness' payin' us a visit in good ole Sunnyhell. Couldn't we'ave just waited and told him after?"


Xander lifted his right hand, palm up, and gestured to the other male, "That's what I said. I'm not exactly looking forward to the imminent arrival of Herr Doom and Gloom either pal."


Spike lifted a brow and looked at Xander, "Not a huge fan of the Great Git either, huh?"


"That, El Nosferatu, would be what one might call a radical understatement. Words can never even begin to arrive in the vicinity of expressing when it comes to how much I loathe the Glowery One." Spike chuckled in response but was quickly cut off by Anya.


"Ok! Ok, ok! Stop it! That's it, I can't take it anymore! Who, for Amfar's sake, are you talking about!?" She, all but shouting, jumped to her feet and putting her hands on the counter looking at the two men.


The other occupants of the room sat in stunned silence observing the fiery woman before Xander snapped back with a shake of his head, "Oh, um, Angel. We're talking about Angel of course."


Spike did a half shrug and tilt of the head, "Yeah, woulda figured it obvious pet."


Anya smacked her hand on the counter, "Well, it wasn't. It wasn't obvious at all." She huffed crossing her arms over her chest and scowling, "How am I supposed to know that you're talking about Angel and that it's him you're making fun of? What if I want to join in, hmm? But I can't, because I don't know who you're talking about. With all the misleading synonyms and the nicknames." Anya exclaimed with a pout reclaiming her seat. "It's not fair! I should be included in poking fun. Even if I don't know the guy."


Xander put his arm around her shoulders and gave it a squeeze, "Well, Ahn, anytime either of us say something you don't understand or anytime you don't know who we're talking about, just ask. We won't begrudge anyone a little mockery. Especially at The Ass' expense."


Spike agreed, "Yea, that works. Or, anytime you hear either of us using a degrading or insulting name, you can full on wager it’s the Poof we're talkin' 'bout."


Anya smiled and nodded her head, "Ok." Then she sat up on her stool a little straighter with her hands primly placed in her lap, looking the entire world like a student eager to learn. "Alright. So 'Poof' is one of them. What are the others? I wanna know so I can call him embarrassing names and laugh at his comical yet angry expression," she asked looking at Xander and Spike expectantly.


They looked to each other and shared a big smile, then turned back to Anya. "Peaches," Spike offered.


"Soul-Boy," Xander added.


"Hair-Boy."


"Mr. Broody."


"Dark Avenger."


"Deadboy."


Anya turned to her 'secret' fiancé, "Xander, a lot of yours have 'boy' in them. That’s extremely incorrect, you know. He's centuries older than you." She told him matter of fact.


He just shrugged his shoulders and looked non-repentant, "What can I say? I have to attack his masculinity somehow. He's all with the big and bulky." He adapted a large grin and placed his hands on his hips highly reminiscent of Superman, one of many Comic book heroes he secretly admired. With a click of his tongue and a sharp intake of breath through clenched teeth he added, "Makes me feel all manly in the presence of His Hulkiness."


Spike held up a finger and looked at Xander while pointing, "Sir Broods-a-Lot."


Xander nodded, "Sometimes Evil Undead."


"Big, Tall and Forehead."


Xander bounced up and down on his stood excitedly, "Oh, oh, oh, Captain Forehead..."


_______________________________________________________


Summerland-


When Buffy and Whistler made it back to the tree and joined Joyce on the ground he explained to the both of them what was going to be happening. All of a sudden a widescreen TV of substantial size appeared directly in front of them.


"God! You're such a guy." The young woman exclaimed eyeing the electronic monstrosity.


"What?" he asked innocently. "I have to enjoy technological advances somehow don't I?" He looked to Buffy and suddenly a remote with a singular button appeared in her hand. "Now, all you have to do is think hard about what you wanna see, and then hit the button and, presto! It's your own version of Big Brother."


She looked to her mother then back to Whistler before she closed her eyes, raised the hand holding the remote and punched the button.


Buffy had decided to start her escapades into voyeurism at the Magic Box but it had been completely deserted and when she moved onto Giles' apartment she had the same luck. Switching over to her house she was rewarded with the sight of Spike, Xander and Anya in her kitchen. The couple sitting at the island with the vamp leaning against the kitchen sink across from them.


She wouldn't dare admit it, but the conversation between them had amused her. The three of them together was nothing if not entertaining, even with the recent happenings and the air of gloom that surrounded the house.


Along with her mother and Whistler, she listened in not commenting. That is, until the other two began to snicker in response to Xander's and Spike's tutelage for Anya into the many nicknames for Angel. Buffy turned to them with a scolding look, as if she were the parent or thousand year old demon instead of them, "It's not that funny guys." But they continued laughing as if she'd never spoken. "Stop laughing. It's rude."


Whistler stopped laughing long enough to give her an incredulous look, "Please. It's not like they can even hear us you know."


Joyce sobered up, "No, she's right." She said to Whistler, and then turned to Buffy, "You're right honey. I'm sorry. They may not be able to hear us, but it's not right to make fun of people like that." Her last statement lost all credibility as she burst into another fit of giggles at hearing Xander call Angel 'Herr Doom and Gloom.'


"Mother!" she admonished, but her words held no fire as she had a small smile of her own. She couldn't help it; it was nice to hear her mother's laughter again. She quickly forced it back though and turned to Whistler who was still watching the scene and chuckling to himself. "And you!" she shoved at his arm, "you're not helping matters."


He looked at her and rubbed his arm in mock pain, "Hey! I'm sorry. Angel's my boy and all, but it's funny. Can I help it if what they're calling him fits?" He turned back to the magically powered TV and motioned with his free hand, "And it's funny! Come on!"


Buffy continued to glare contemptuously at him and then turned to Joyce with the same look, to which she replied to by simply shrugging her shoulders. Resuming her own observation of her friends and once mortal enemy, Buffy couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped as Xander called the man she once thought of as the love of her life 'Captain Forehead.' Whistler and her mother both gave her looks clearly saying, 'and what were you just saying to us?' but that only made her laugh full on.


"See! I told you! No sense denying it now." Whistler exclaimed.


Buffy shook her head trying to dispel any lingering humor and stood up. "I'm gonna go for a walk. You two just laugh it up." She brushed her hands on the seat of her pants, "Call me if anything, oh, I dunno, important is said."


_______________________________________________________



Sunnydale-


Gods above and below he didn't wanna do this.


Spike pulled his new pair of black socks out of the bag in his lap and yanked the tags off. He had painstakingly taken time to pick out an acceptable outfit for something he didn't even want to go to. He'd known this was gonna be hard, but he'd never guessed it would be this hard. It couldn't possibly be normal for someone like himself to find something like this to be so difficult. So heartbreaking.


He was trying really hard to do everything he could for the Bit and the other Scoobies. He wanted to be sure that everyone Buffy had cared about and loved was taken care of and safe. Everyone save his Grand-Sire anyway. He could give a toot's horn what that ponce was going through. Spike had moved past feeling completely guilty for the Slayer's death. He now shared that responsibility with Angel. He figured if the git hadn't left in the first place, or he'd just popped over long enough to help stop Glory, then Buffy might still be here. Spike wouldn't have cared, he would've put up with the other vampire if it meant that his Slayer was going to be ok. But no such luck. The son of a bitch hadn't even known about any of what was going on. He obviously didn't care enough about Buffy to keep tabs on what was happening and when she needed help. Speakin' of needin' help, why the soddin' hell didn't his vision-girl get a peek-a-boo from the Powers?. Stupid, bloody wanker fuck mooks. Didn't the Slayer rate high enough with them to warrant some much needed assistance? Pillocks.


Today was the day. The Day. He was in no way looking forward to what he'd be witness to this evening. Ok, so it wasn't The Day, it was The Night, tomato/tomahto. Spike was having a hard enough time keeping it together himself that he was doing Nibblet absolutely no good. He wasn't entirely convinced that he was strong enough to help her through this. Aside from the horror of the day itself, he was gonna be face to face with above mentioned Grand-Sire, and those visits never made for a boat load of fun. More like freightliner loads of hell served in heaping bounds.


He was just slipping his black button shirt onto his shoulders when the tearful teen made her way down the stairs to the basement. He'd been planning on just wearing his normal attire, seeing as it contained of everything black as long as he could forego the red button up. But his Bit had looked at him with those huge blue eyes opened wide and asked him in a voice he couldn't resist, to please wear a suit to her sister's funeral. So that's what he was wearing. Charcoal grey dress pants and black shirt anyway. No way was he wearing a tie or blazer. Even for a Summers woman. He did, though, opt to leave his Doc Martens at the house and was wearing a pair of black dress shoes.


"Hey." She said quietly once she'd fully descended the stairs.


"'Ello Bit.


"You 'bout ready? The sun's down so we can leave now. Giles, Xander, Anya and Willow already left. They wanted to be sure to get there first. Tara's upstairs though, waiting on us." She asked him wringing her hands.


"Yeah. 'M all set." He said as he finished buttoning. He patted his pockets in search of his cigarettes and when he didn't feel them he turned quickly to the cot he used as his bed and began to search amongst the various bags and packages. When he found them he held them up triumphantly and turned to Dawn. "Let's hit it Bit."


He put his arm around her shoulders and they made their way up the stairs to meet Tara and head on to the funeral site.


Gods he didn't wanna do this.


_______________________________________________________


Summerland-


Buffy heard her mother calling her name from her spot next to the stream she'd become so fascinated with. She stood up and made her way back to the Oak tree. "What's up?"


Whistler totally ignored her and kept watching the TV and Joyce looked hesitant to answer, even though she'd been the one to call her daughter over. "Sweetie, have a seat." She grabbed a hold of Buffy's hand and softly pulled her down onto the grass alongside herself. "They're getting ready to start your funeral Buffy." She answered softly.


Buffy's eyes widened almost comically and she turned sharply to her mother, "What?! How is that possible? I was only gone for like, what? An hour?"


Joyce ran what she hoped was soothing hang over the young woman's arm, "You have to remember Buffy that time is different here. An hour here is a day there."


Buffy's face fell, "Why didn't you tell me that? Why didn't you come get me? I would've forgotten all about the great exit I was trying to make and come back if I'd known I was missing that much."


The eldest Summers softly shook her head, "It doesn't matter. Honestly. Nothing happened. You didn't miss a thing."


Buffy eyed her mother suspiciously, "Somehow I find that hard to believe. Even from you mom."


Joyce looked slightly aghast, "Well, I don't see why not. I'm your mother."


She was unable to comment further when their attention was called to the screen as the service began.



_______________________________________________________


Sunnydale-


At the edge of where the cemetery met the woods, in a small clearing, the members of the Scoobies and the L.A. gang were all gathered around a freshly dug grave. Sitting directly in front of them suspended over the hole sat the hunk of wood containing one of their dearest. Dawn and Spike were huddled together for support with Giles, Willow, Tara, Xander and Anya flanking them. Angel, Cordelia, Wesley, Gunn and newcomer Fred were standing in a line not dissimilar to the one formed by the other group on the other side of the grave. Giles had finally decided on acquiring the High Priestess of a nearby coven to conduct the memorial service for them. Because of Buffy's being the Slayer and the other several and majority ruling supernatural elements surrounding them, he'd figured that was the best idea.

As RavenWolf finished her blessing the attendees began to lower the casket into the ground. Something apparently clicked with the peroxide vampire, because as the casket began to disappear his resolve broke. He fell to the ground, large sobs racking his body, and repeating a constant mantra just under his breath, "Oh Gods...I'm sorry. Buffy, luv, so, so sorry. I love you. Please. Please I'm sorry. So sorry." Dawn fell to the ground on one side of the vampire and Tara rushed to the other. They both began to try and calm him down whispering what they hoped would be comforting and encouraging words, in spite of their own grief. As the remaining members of the Sunnydale group witnessed Spike's reaction, they were unable to keep the tears at bay and the comfort of the two women given to the vampire turned into a massive group hug.


Angel and his crew all looked on the scene with curious expressions and Angel was left pondering his Grand-Childe's strange reaction to the death of a Slayer. And there was no way he could've possibly heard what he thought he heard was there? Pfft, nah. Spike didn't say anything close to or resembling 'I love you' in connection with Buffy. Nope.


The Scoobies all stayed huddled around Spike making one big mass of hugs as he continued to sob and wail. They were all still crying silently, overcome with the vampire's obvious grief in combination with their own grief. There was no way that anyone could possibly ignore the blatant misery coming off of the blond in waves, but after a while his sobs came to an end and the group all stood up backing away expecting to see Spike jump up and try to cover with many machismos, only to find him staring off into space like the dead person he should've been. Where his eyes had once been vibrant, full of emotion and alive, they were now blank orbs, completely glazed over.


Dawn looked down at him panic stricken, "Spike? Spike!" She turned to Giles with wide eyes, tears brimming over, "What's wrong with him? He won't look at me or answer me." She squatted down next to the vampire again, "Spike!!"


Giles moved Dawn aside and got down on his haunches in front of Spike, "Spike? Can you hear me?" When he received no response he took the vampire by the shoulders and shook lightly, "Spike! Come on you ole bugger. Answer me!" Yet he still received no response. "Oh dear," he looked to Willow for confirmation that his suspicions were true. She simply nodded her head in the affirmative.


But before either could calm Dawn's fears and explain what was happening, Angel erupted and launched himself at Spike's prone figure, knocking them both ass over kettle to the ground. He then straddled the younger vampire and grabbed the front of his shirt shaking him violently. "Spike! What the hell do you think you're doing? Answer me you ass!" He knocked Spike's jaw with a right hook, and still he made no movement. He could hear everyone's shocked gasps and he heard Dawn start crying harder, but he didn't care. He was pissed. He was pissed that Buffy was gone. Pissed he hadn't been here to help. But mostly he was pissed at Spike for putting on, what he considered, some overdramatic ploy. "Quit acting like you care you little shit! Look at me you son of a bitch!" He went to hit Spike again but before he could let his fist fly several hands were grabbing him and pulling him off the other man's body. The next thing he heard was Cordelia's voice.


"Angel. ANGEL! Stop it!" He was steadfastly trying to loose himself from their hold, "Calm down you big oaf. God!"


A shadow fell over his form and as he looked up he realized Xander was standing right in front of him, eyes blazing, "What is Spike doing?" Xander asked incredulously with a deceptively calm voice. "He's grieving you great big nit. The question you should be asking is..." He paused for effect and then in a much louder, angry voice he continued, "What the HELL are YOU doing?"


Angel looked honestly confused, "What do you mean what am I doing?" he asked dumbfounded. "I'm trying to get that," he spat that last word out with so much venom it could've killed a small animal, "to quit acting like he cares. This isn't the time for him to be making a scene."


At his last comment, Giles shoved Xander out of the way and Angel found himself staring into the eyes belonging to Ripper. "You've no right! No right to come here and judge anyone or make ignorant and unfounded comments concerning what one is feeling and what one isn't feeling. I would suggest you cool off before you make us all very angry and something irrevocable is done to you." The underlying threat was very clear to Angel. "Things have changed quite a bit in Sunnydale since your last visit. Spike has every right, every right, to be here. And every right to grieve in any way he deems necessary. I believe that if you were to sit back and look at the situation, you would realize that you, in fact, are the one causing the unnecessary and disrespectful scene."


But Angel couldn't be deterred, "What gives him the right Giles? What the hell has he done to you people to fool you into believing whatever scam he's got going on?"


Giles whipped his glasses off his face and pointed to Spike still lying on the ground with the hand holding them, "He's got the right because he was here. He's been here these last several months when Buffy was in the fight of her life. He's been tortured by a god, and yet he still fought. So, that's where this stems from. He's been here while you were..." he trailed off and looked at the brunette vamp menacingly, "Oh, that’s right, you weren't here."


"I didn't know!"


"Did you want to know?" Giles spared him one last glance and then turned away.


Angel took a moment to do just what Giles had suggested. He looked over at the spot he'd been pulled away from and saw Spike lying in the same position he'd been left in. Dawn was back by his side along with Willow's girlfriend. Which, that was still weird, but, what was her name again? Sarah? No, Tara, That's it. Tara and Xander's girl, Anya. They were still trying to get a reaction from Spike but to no avail. He began to feel a little bad realizing that maybe Spike wasn't putting on a show after all. He turned around and looked at his group. They were all looking embarrassed to be associated with him. All aside from Fred, who didn't have a clue. But they were also looking at him as if he'd lost his mind. When he turned away from his friends, he noticed that Giles and Willow had now taken Tara's and Anya's places by the vamp's side. They were talking worriedly with one another and even knowing they were still angry with him, he stealthily began to creep up so he could hear what was being said.


He heard Giles speaking, "...think you might be able to do it again Willow?"


Willow, looking towards Spike, nodded her head slowly, "Yeah, I think I could. I'm not sure if it's different with vampires than it is with humans. But I-I'm pretty sure I can. I can at least try, right?"


"Yes, yes. I don't believe it should be different with vampires. It seems he is in much the same situation as Buffy was. You should be able to succeed with no problems. He may, for all intense purposes, be dead, but his brain is still working, so it should work perfectly."


Their conversation had piqued Dawn's attention and she turned to them with a worried look on her face, "Do what again? What's wrong with him? What situation was Buffy in?" She was frantic by now, "What aren't you telling me? What's going on? What are you gonna do to him?"


Tara moved back to the teen's side and pulled her into a loving embrace trying to assuage her fears, "Ssh, sweetie. It's ok. You know Willow won't hurt Spike. She's going to try and help him. I promise."


Dawn looked to Willow with wide eyes, vulnerable expression, "Really?"


Willow moved over to join Dawn and Tara, putting an arm around Dawn and squeezing reassuringly, "Of course Dawnie. I'm just gonna help him. Promise."


Giles felt it necessary to reassure the young girl also, "I can assure you Dawn that we won't let anything happen to him. You have my word."


Dawn gave a hesitant nod of her head and then stopped suddenly, "Wait. What does whatever's wrong with Spike have to do with a 'situation' Buffy was in?" she asked making the air quotes looking back and forth between Willow and Giles waiting.


"Erm..." Giles looked off into the sky and began cleaning his glasses so Dawn fixed her gaze on Willow.


"Um, well..." the red headed witch trailed off also, looking at the ground intently.


Xander spoke up then, "You guys never told her what happened?" looking at the two questioningly.


Dawn was quickly becoming frustrated, "What happened when?"


Anya spoke up matter of fact, as always, looking at Dawn, "When you were kidnapped by Glory and Buffy went all space cadet on us." She said it as if she'd just stated the obvious.


"Huh?" Dawn asked confused.


Giles answered Xander's earlier question without acknowledging the exchange between Dawn and Anya, "Well Xander, in case you've forgotten, I've had my hands a bit tied up with everything happening. I've had to plan the funeral of my Slayer, whom I also thought of as my daughter, so I haven't exactly been myself of late. Nor have I had the chance to sit down with Dawn and have a chat." He finished off defensively.


Xander had the decency to be ashamed, "You're right G-man. I'm sorry. Just a tad on edge today."


Giles nodded his head and gave Xander a sympathetic look, "Quite alright Xander. Quite alright." He then looked up at the young man sharply and said, "And don't call me that."


Xander simply grinned at him.


Dawn decided to make her presence known to Giles again, "Ok. Back to my question. What were you guys talking about? What did Anya mean when she said Buffy went 'space cadet on you'?"


The Sunnydale based gang was reminded that the L.A. based gang was still there when Angel spoke up for the first time in a while, "Yeah, I'm pretty curious myself. What's going on here?"


"When Dawn was taken by Glory, Buffy went catatonic. She just shut down completely." Willow answered. When she heard Dawn's shocked gasp she looked at the young girl and gave her a small smile. "I had to do a spell that put me in her mind. So I could reach her. And she was just...stuck...in this loop. Different scenes that happened. Some that didn't."


Angel gave her a dubious look, "And you think what? Spike is doing the same thing? Kind of a delayed reaction isn't it?"


Willow became defensive and stood up straighter, "What other explanation is there?" Tara laid a comforting hand on her shoulder which seemed to ground her again and she calmed back down. "Makes sense. Just look at him."


"How?" Angel asked.


Giles answered this time, "It finally hit him. He's been busy these last few days caring for Dawn and patrolling. The casket being lowered simply brought it all home and made him realize that it was actually happening. He admitted it to himself. That it's real." He looked over to where Spike was still staring at nothing and turned back to the group. "He hasn't really given himself a chance to come to grips with the fact that Buffy's..." Giles trailed off unable to say the actual words despite the fact that they were, at that moment, standing at the girl's graveside.


Angel shook his head, "That still doesn't explain to me why this happened to Spike of all people. Or vamp, whatever. How do you know he's for real?"


His last question made Dawn become enraged, "Shut up you...you...big poof!" Xander and Anya snickered at that. "You don't have any clue what's going on here! Spike loves... loved Buffy. And he loves me. He is not putting on a show."


"Loves?!" Angel exclaimed incredulously. "Dawn, what are..." but he was cut off when Dawn started speaking again.



"Yes! Loves. You don't know us anymore. You don't know how it is. You don't know anything."


Angel's voice became condescending as he spoke his next words to the girl, "Dawn, I think I know Spike pretty well. Better than any of you. I'd bet."


"No Angel, Dawn is right." Giles spoke up. When Angel looked at him unbelievingly he clarified, "You may have known Spike, but he's different now. As much as I'm loathe to admit it, much less believe it, I can't overlook the fact that Spike has indeed changed."


Angel looked at Giles astonished, and then looked at the members, and they each in turn nodded their heads, even if hesitantly as in the case with Xander. "You guys can't honestly believe this. He's got a chip. A chip in his head doesn't mean he's changed. It's not a soul."


Giles nodded his head, "You're right. It didn't change him. It was only the catalyst. It gave him the opportunity to change. His helping us, albeit reluctantly at first, helped him to change. His developing relationship with Dawn and Joyce even, has helped. And then his falling in love with Buffy was the final step. No one wanted to believe it at first. Myself least of all, but he truly loves Buffy. He's proved himself to us in the recent weeks."


Angel tried again to reason with Giles, "But it still isn't a soul. He's still evil in spite of everything."


Giles nodded his head again, "Once again, you're correct. It's not a soul. But that just makes it all the more remarkable. He's doing it of his own volition. Not because something is making him." Giles gave a pointed look to Angel, which brooked no misunderstanding and the large vampire looked away. "He truly wanted this. If he didn't he could've found other means by which to achieve 'evilness'. If you want to put it that way."


Angel shook his head and muttered almost unintelligibly, "He's the one who told me that demons didn't changed and yet, you say he has."


Giles gave a short chuckle at that, "Yes, well, he has always been a rather unconventional vampire, as you should know." Angel nodded in the affirmative.


Xander spoke up, trying as per usual, to spread some levity into the situation, "Plus, he's always been really good at the whole foot and mouth thing."


No one could hold back a chuckle at that.


Giles looked over at the still figure of the blonde vampire where Dawn and Tara were once again huddled and spoke, "Right then, I do believe it's time that we get back to the house and bring Spike back to reality, yes?"


Everyone nodded or muttered something in agreement aside from Angel who kept his mouth shut, and began making their way to the Summers' home.


_______________________________________________________


Summerland-


Buffy, Joyce and Whistler were all huddled around the TV watching as scenes unfolded in Sunnydale.


"Wow." Buffy sat back on her hands with a shocked look on her face.


"Yup." Whistler agreed.


*sniffle*


They both looked over to Joyce who waved her hand in a dismissing manner, "Sorry, sorry." She fumbled with a box of tissues that had mysteriously appeared. "First my daughter's funeral...*sniffle*...then poor Spike...*sniffle*...I can't help it. I always did like him." She turned to Buffy with a sharp accusing look, "And that Angel of yours is such a wanker." Whistler grinned at Joyce's use of a 'Spikeism'.


"Mom, he's not my Angel."


"Well, he was." Joyce retorted.


"And don't call him that Angel." Buffy weakly tried to defend her ex, "it’s just hard for him to believe that Spike has really changed."


"Why," her mother asked, honestly wanting to know. "It's pretty obvious to anyone who looks, that he has."


Whistler cut in to answer her question. When he spoke both women turned to him. He was still watching what Buffy had affectionately dubbed 'The Real World Sunnydale' or 'SunnyD TV. "It's hard for him to believe because if he didn't have a soul, he knows there's no way he'd ever be what Spike is. Or become what Spike has become."


Joyce gave an unladylike snort, "Just proves my point. Wanker."


Whistler continued, concealing a small grin. "Makes him feel like less of a man or vamp or whatever, because Spike can do something he can't. Unless he cursed."


Buffy sat silent the whole time they were speaking, still trying to process what she had witnessed. She couldn't believe Spike had taken her death so badly. But what she really couldn't believe were her friends' obvious protective vibes towards him. I guess he really does love me. She thought to herself. And maybe he really has changed. Aloud she spoke, "This is all really hard to take in."


Whistler looked at her sympathetically, "I know. But you can't ignore the truth now. You've seen it for yourself."


"I know." She looked at him, "It's just..." she gestured with her hands and made a 'grr' face, "it's...Spike." She finished as if that explained everything.


Whistler laughed at her, "Yes, it is. But things aren't always as they seem."


"Huh?" Buffy asked.


"You can't always judge a book by its cover." Whistler paused looking thoughtful. "First impressions may last forever, but they're not always true."


"Oh stop being all cliché-y. You're giving me a headache."


"You can't get headaches here. You're dead." Whistler retorted.


"Argh! Shut up!"


Whistler and Joyce laughed as she covered her ears like a child.


_______________________________________________________


Sunnydale-


Back at the Summers' abode, the Scoobies and the Fang Gang all gathered in the living room, sans Spike, Tara and Dawn, who were upstairs in Joyce's room, and Willow and Anya who had gone to the Magic Box to get the incense Willow needed to perform the spell since she'd used to last of her stash with Buffy. Giles was standing in front of the fire place staring at nothing, Angel and Xander were both sitting in the wing back chairs glaring at each other, and Cordelia, Gunn, Wesley and Fred were all gathered on the couch. No one was speaking. The moment Willow and Anya came through the door; they were all startled to attention, everyone jumping out of their seats except for Cordelia who looked nonplussed and Fred who shrunk behind the other young woman.


"Geez. Jumpy much?" Willow remarked.


"You all should cut back on the caffeine. It's bad for humans if you drink too much." Anya offered. Then squinting her eyes at Angel, "although, I guess it doesn't matter with your kind huh?"


Ignoring both girls' comments Giles asked them if they'd gotten everything they needed.


"Yeah, I'm all set. Since we don't have to be all with the rushing for world savage I can do this the right way." was Willow's answer. "So where is our resident vamp?"


"Xander, Angel and Gunn carried him up to Joyce's room. Dawn and Tara have been sitting with him just in case he miraculously 'woke-up'." Giles replied. "Dawn won't leave his side." he offered, then added more to himself than anyone else, "She's as stubborn as her mother and sister that one." With a shake of his head he turned back to Willow, "And of course Tara won't leave Dawn's side, so, they're holding vigil presently."


"Alrighty. I'll go set up and get started." Willow then made her way up the stairs and Anya took a seat on the arm of Xander's chair.


Angel couldn't help but notice the nonchalance with which Willow took in the fact that Spike was in Joyce Summers' bedroom and that her girlfriend was in there with him. And he was slightly offended remembering how he wasn't accepted as easily into the Scoobies. When Willow was up the stairs and out of sight Angel turned to Giles, "Are you really sure this is gonna work? Do you really believe that Spike is so upset and bereft that he'd go catatonic?"


Giles breathed an exasperated sigh, "Yes Angel. As I said before, many, many times, I really do believe that's what's happened to him and that this will help. If you're just going to sit there second guessing and doubting everything we do and say then you'd best be on your way back to your city."


Cordelia stood up at the tone and sharpness of Giles' voice, "Hey Buddy! What's with all the Angel hatin' going on in this town? You all have done nothin' but be rude and harp on him since we got here. And if I noticed? Well, then it's bad." She looked pointedly at Giles and Xander, "He's grievin' just like the rest of us. Prob'ly more. But you're too busy with your new best vamp to realize."


Wes put a restraining hand on her arm to try and stay her outburst, "Cordy, sit down. Everyone's on edge right now."


She snatched her arm away haughtily, "No Wes, I'm always getting lectures on tact and treating people one way or another. It's time they got one too."


Xander spoke up, his voice laden with sarcasm, "Yeah Wes. Let the Queen C finish her tirade. She might surprise us and say something intelligent for once."


Cordelia whipped her head towards Xander and pointed an accusing finger at him with barely contained rage in her eyes, "You, Xander Harris, are soo not one to comment on what an intelligent conversation consists of."


"Hey!" Anya cut in with annoyance. "Xander is very smart. He just chooses to act dumb so no one takes advantage."


"Thanks Ahn." Xander deadpanned. "Thanks for the compliment before the insult."


Anya beamed at him and nodded her head once, "You're welcome." Then she quickly turned back to
Cordelia, "And, Xander isn't yours anymore, he's mine. So you don't get to be mean to him."


Cordelia scoffed and rolled her eyes, "Puh-lease! I dated the guy, alright? Not only do I get to be mean to him, but, it's like every woman's God given gift to torment the ex."


Anya seemed to ponder this for a moment, "You know, you're absolutely right. I've been human for too long." She sat back against the chair, "Feel free to seek minimal vengeance allowed to jilted exes when readily available."


"Hey!" Xander protested.


"Hush up and deal Harris. You'll not win this argument with this ex-vengeance demon."


Xander glared hotly but said nothing.


Giles finally had a chance to speak and when he did it was directed towards Cordelia and Angel completely disregarding the other conversation. "You'll have to excuse us all for being offended that our every word and action is being questioned. Believe me when I say that we were all, by far, nowhere near Spike's biggest fans, but in lieu of everything that has happened in the recent weeks and months, our opinions have changed drastically. He has proven himself to use in more than one way. So I'll thank you kindly if we can just drop the discussion of Spike's place in our lives."


Angel voiced the one comment he felt held more ground, the one he kept repeating, the one he thought would certainly sway the argument in his favor, "Giles, he doesn't have a soul."


Giles nodded slowly and looked directly at Angel, "You're right. He doesn't. And yet he still fights."


Angel was wrong. Apparently having a soul wasn't the 'in thing' right now. He suddenly found his shoes highly interesting.



_______________________________________________________


Joyce's Bedroom-


Spike was lying on the bed, still zoned out. Tara was curled up in the armchair with Dawn sitting Indian style on the floor in front of her. Dawn was watching Spike with wide eyes and her full attention waiting for even the barest smidgen of movement while Tara ran her fingers through her hair in a calming manner, reminiscent of the way Buffy had always done it.


Dawn broke the silence when she spoke up in a tiny whisper, "Tara?'


"Yeah sweetie?" Tara responded in the same type of hushed whisper, as if their speaking would wake Spike.


"He's gonna be ok, right?" Her voice broke with unshed tears.


"Oh Dawnie," Tara got up from her position in the chair and got down on the floor next to Dawn and wrapped the suddenly tiny girl in her arms. "He'll be fine. Will's gonna bring him back."


Dawn couldn't keep her tears in check any longer, so when she spoke again she was crying full on, "I mean, he's gotta be ok. He's just gotta. I can't go through this too. I just lost Buffy. He's gotta wake up."


"Hush sweetie." Tara cooed in her ear. "Will's gonna figure this out. But you still got us too ya know."


"But Spike is my friend. He's not just friends with me because of Buffy. He's been takin' care of me. I've been takin' care of him."


"Dawn, I promise it'll be fine. Will's the brainy type, she'll bring him back. And she already knows what to do, so it'll be all that much faster." Tara assured her. "And we're your friends too, sweetie, don't forget that." to which Dawn merely nodded.


At that moment Willow walked through the bedroom door with her candles and incense. She looked at Tara with a question in her eyes to which Tara responded with a small shake of her head, confirming Willow's fears that; one-there had been no change; and two-Dawn was a wreck.


She came to rest on her haunches in front of the girl and put a hand on her forearm, rubbing back and forth in an effort to sooth her. Dawn's eyes were still trained on the 'veggie vamp' searching for even the most miniscule twitch in hopes that he wasn't gone from her. "Hey Dawnie," Willow spoke in a soft voice. Dawn finally took her eyes away from Spike and looked at Willow, finally seeing her. "You okay?" She asked but got no response. "I'm gonna set up to do the spell ok? Maybe you should go downstairs and get yourself something to eat? Whaddya say?"


Dawn gave an almost imperceptible shake of her head, "Not hungry." Then she returned her gaze to the bed that housed her surrogate big brother.


Willow threw a silent request to her girlfriend over Dawn's head, pleading with her to help. "Dawnie, I'm a little hungry myself. Can you come down and help me find something to eat? I'm sure the others are probably hungry too, okay?"


Dawn kept casting hesitant looks between Spike on the bed and the door, trying to decide if it were more important for her to stay there, or go downstairs and play hostess. This was technically her house now. The only Summers woman left standing. Her self-imposed responsibility finally won out when she decided that her mother would've had her hide if she ignored guests in their home. So she nodded her head and stood. "I don't know if we even have any food with all the kidnapping and world saving going on." She wiped the tears on her face and then ran her hands down her legs, "Buffy and I kinda weren't really concerned on stockin' the fridge."


Tara stood also and put her right arm around Dawn's shoulders, "That's alright sweetie. If we can't find anything, we can run to the market." When she saw Dawn's panicked expression she quickly amended her statement, "O-or we can get someone else to go. Either way. There's a house full of people and I'm sure Spike will want you here when he finally comes to." The relief that spread over Dawn's face was so visible that Tara couldn't hold back the smile, "Ok then, off we go."


As they were walking out the door Dawn stopped, just before she went through, and took one final look at the 'veggie vamp' and then looked to Willow and spoke so low that she had to strain to hear, "Please Willow. Please bring him back."

Willow gave her a sympathetic look and nodded her head responding, "I will Dawnie, I promise."