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Always Invited In by Ariel and BTL
 
Classifieds
 
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Disclaimer: Joss owns the characters of BTVS. We aren’t making any money off of this fic. Please don’t sue us. Oh and we are in no way affiliated with Vampire Condoms either.

First Chapter written by Ariel Dawn and Beta'd by Opal.

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Part 1
By Ariel Dawn
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A steaming cup of coffee beside her on the dining room table, Buffy turned the page of the Sunnydale Times that she had been leafing through. The crisp sound of the paper rustling was the only noise in the house. Dawn was at school, Willow was at school, Tara was at school, Xander and Anya, well they didn’t live here, but it sure felt like it some times.

Buffy brought her cup of coffee to her lips as she scanned the classifieds. She’d come to that horrible conclusion that she had better get a job, before the nasty people at the bank, and the phone company, and the plumber decided to repossess their house.

Tucked away down in the corner of the page, was a small unimposing ad.

Open auditions.
Looking to get into acting?
Need some extra Cash?
Have a unique look?
Auditions for a nation wide ad campaign
Sunnydale Auditorium, Tomorrow, 8am to 8pm
18 and older only


Buffy put down her mug of coffee and circled the ad with a bright pink Hi-Liter.
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Hours later the sun was setting, making it that time of day that bad little vampires woke up to face the night. Spike rolled over in bed to find a pair of blue eyes staring at him.

“You know, if you wanted me to bring you a newspaper after school you could be awake when I got here. That sheet doesn’t leave enough to the imagination,” started Dawn, holding a newspaper in her hand, waving it as she talked. “I don’t know why you want a newspaper anyway. I mean, vampire’s don’t care about the news. Except maybe if there’s a natural disaster somewhere, or...” Dawn stopped. “Ok, just proved myself wrong. Here’s your newspaper. I’m going home. It’s my turn to make dinner.”

“Thanks Bit,” said the vampire finally, his voice still sleepy.

Dawn left the crypt with a flounce, leaving the half awake vampire to get dressed and to make use of his newspaper.

He hadn’t told her what he wanted the newspaper for, and he hadn’t thought it such an odd request. Spike slipped on his jeans and grabbed the news paper before heading to the main floor of his crypt to enjoy his evening paper with a mug of blood.

He settled on a handy tomb and spread the paper out in front of him. He would never admit to Dawn that he was looking for ways to make money, so that both Buffy and Dawn could be self sufficient.

Spike scanned the paper looking for a way to fulfill his goal. He wasn’t above getting a job, but being dead for the last hundred or so years didn’t really make one hireable. Then he stopped his search as his gaze passed over a small ad in the corner of the page he had been looking at.

Open auditions.
Looking to get into acting?
Need some extra Cash?
Have a unique look?
Auditions for a nation wide ad campaign
Sunnydale Auditorium, Tomorrow, 8am to 8pm
18 and older only


Spike smirked and tore the ad out of the paper.
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Buffy walked into the Sunnydale Auditorium with an optimistic bounce in her walk. She didn’t mind that it seemed that every beautiful girl in town and then some were waiting in line. She took her place at the end of the line, and checked her watch; it was still only 7:30. As time passed, a mass of girls joined the line behind her. Buffy started to regret this, and she had long since started to feel like cattle. But really only one of you, so you should feel like a cow...ug she thought to herself.

First they herded them into a room where they had to prove how old they were, eliminating the teenagers that had thought they could sneak in. Buffy filled out a form and was given a number, before being herded into another line, to wait for the next hoop to jump through.

She had pictures taken, told to wait in another line.

“You know what’s going on right?” asked the girl ahead of her to her friend. “My agent said that the talent agency that’s doing all the interviews and stuff is getting a big deal from the product company. My agent didn’t even know who the product company was. I just hope they don’t turn out to be some porn company. I’m serious actress!”

Buffy turned and rolled her eyes.

“Anyway, the deal is,” continued the girl. “The talent agency is doing recruiting, so even if you don’t get the part, there’s a chance you’ll get signed with the agency. Of course I don’t need them, Rodger has been my agent since I was 10, he’s a doll.”

The idea hadn’t even occurred to Buffy that she’d be an actress. This was just a one time thing? Right?

Before she could contemplate that thought, they were herded through another door to read a scene of dialogue.
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Spike strolled up from the basement of the Auditorium and found the line for the men. He leaned up against the wall and checked out his competition. It was safe to say that William the Bloody had a pretty good opinion of himself, and knew that he wasn’t hard on the eyes. He’d dug up some fake id, to help him along. He just hoped that this was all over and done with before patrolling time came around.

He didn’t want the Slayer to know what he was up to.

He’d never live it down if he failed.
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“Miss Summers,” began the interviewer. “Why did you come here today?”

Buffy smiled nervously at the man behind the table. She’d been photographed, read lines, even sung a little but that was nothing compared to the table of two men and one woman that were staring back at her.

“Well, I saw the ad in the paper and thought, why not? I’m always up for something new and different. And if I sucked, the worst you could say was no, right?”

The man who asked the question hid his smirk and looked at the paper again, reading the question he was going to ask her next.

“Miss Summers the fact that you’ve gotten this far is testament that in fact you do not suck,” interrupted the lone woman at the table.

Buffy smiled. “Thanks.”

The man with the paper looked up. “Miss Summers. The role being decided upon today is an advertisement for a company that makes contraceptive devices. Would you feel comfortable appearing in an advertisement for condoms?”

Buffy blanched for a moment. Shortly she recovered and smiled back that her interviewer.

“Why should I mind?” she asked. “I’ve used condoms before...not on me of course, on boys. Lots of boys! Ok, not lots, I’m not a slut or anything. Two boys. I’m gonna stop talking now.”
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“Mr. Blood,” said the woman interviewing Spike, as she playfully kicked off her high heeled shoes under the table.

Spike resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“Can I call you William?” she asked.

“My friends call me Spike,” he purred, curling his tongue behind his teeth.

If he was going to get this he was going to pull out all the stops. He just had to keep reminding himself that this was all for the Slayer.

“Spike then,” she hummed. “The role being decided upon today is an advertisement for a company that makes contraceptive devices. Would you feel comfortable appearing in an advertisement for condoms?” She blushed.

“Pet,” he started, stepping closer to the woman interviewing him. “What do you think?” he asked raising a suggestive eyebrow.

A casual sniff to the air confirmed that he had this bint’s approval.
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Buffy sat in yet another room with four other girls waiting for something to happen as the wall clock ticked closer to the time when Dawn was going to be home from school. Buffy secretly hoped that Willow or Tara would be at home when Dawn got there.

The door opened and an assistant with bad acne poked his head into the waiting room. “Nicole?”

The blond to Buffy’s left got up out of her chair and followed pimple boy into the other room.

Buffy wished she’d brought a book, or a crossword, or even a knife to make the legs of her chair into some stakes. Cause this was boring.
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By the time they’d called her in, it was already past the time when Dawn was to be home. She walked into the room ready to tell the people that she had a kid at home that she had to look after. Her thoughts, however were circumvented when she spied the logo of the company that the ad was going to be for.

Vampire Condoms
“Because Vampires Always Get Invited In”


Buffy had to cover her mouth to keep her laughter from echoing throughout the room. The sigh in the middle of the room couldn’t help but be noticed. And she knew that she was staring at it for an unnecessarily long time.

“Miss Summers?” asked the pimple faced assistant.

“Oh,” Buffy cleared her throat. “Coming!” she giggled.

“Cause I haven’t heard that one all day,” the assistant muttered, as he lead her to a chair facing yet another table.

This time the man at the table was rather young looking, and ordinarily she would have thought him quite good looking.

“Miss Summers,” greeted the man. “I’m Tim, I represent Vampire Condoms. I’m really pleased that you’ve agreed to be in our National Ad campaign.”

“Thanks,” responded Buffy.

“First of all, I’d like to get your ideas on strategies that you think would work. What do you think of when I say ‘Vampire’?” asked Tim.

“Stake through the heart equals dust,” she responded automatically.

Tim laughed.

“Not quite what we are going for....anything else?”

Buffy realised that they wanted things that were innuendoish. “Umm, they come out under cover of darkness?” she offered. “They have to be invited in?”

“Exactly!” nodded Tim, writing down her comments.

“Umm, some of them, like Dracula, have thrall...they can make you do things against your will. You can’t resist his thrall.” Except I did, cause I’m super slayer! Buffy mentally congratulated herself.

“Great!” exclaimed Tim. “Ok, it’s time for you to meet the man we’ve selected to be your vampire.” Tim walked out from behind his desk to another door. Tim poked his head into the other room. “You can come in now,” he told the other actor.

Buffy looked up at the doorway only to let her jaw drop.

“Spike?”
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tbc...

Opal’s turn!
 
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