Chapter 18 – Time to Think


Sunnydale, 2000


Both Buffy and Spike stared at the dust piles, neither knowing what to say. It was as Buffy saw Spike wipe off the corners of his eyes that she looked at him, frowning.

“Are you alright?” she asked, putting her hand on his arm, surprised when he shrugged it off.

“I’m fine,” he answered, clearing his throat. “We should probably go.”

“Spike-”

“Go out and tell your pals that we’re okay,” he said, averting his eyes from hers. “And that Tessa is gone.”

“Spike, I’m-” she began, irritated when he interrupted her again.

“Tell them about Angel, too,” he added. “Although I’m sure they’ll notice when he doesn’t come out.”

When she opened her mouth to speak, he turned to her, his eyes flashing amber for a moment. She put her hands up in surrender and began to walk away.

As she got to the front doorway of the home, she looked over her shoulder at him. “I’m sorry.”

“So am I,” he murmured, looking at her briefly before turning his attention to the minions that remained in the surrounding area. “If I ever see any of you again, you won’t have time to run – I’ll stake you before you can blink.”

He watched as they dispersed, going down a hallway and into various rooms. He looked at the door of the house and opted to follow after Buffy, knowing that the loss of Angel probably hit her as hard as him finding out about what everyone had done to Tessa in the past and losing her, too.

When he got outside, he was surprised to see only Giles and Xander out there.

“We have to speak with you,” Xander said, putting his hands in his pockets.

“Where are the birds?” Spike asked, pulling his box of cigarettes out of his duster before finding his lighter and lighting a cigarette.

“They’re on their way back to Buffy’s house,” Giles answered. “Joyce should know what happened here tonight.”

“What do you want to say to me, then?” Spike asked. “It must be something Buffy shouldn’t hear that you had to wait for her to be absent to approach me.”

“We’re sorry we accused you of being behind Dawn’s death and Joyce being kidnapped,” Xander said, seeing the surprise on Spike’s face before quickly looking down.

“Apology accepted,” Spike said, blowing a cloud of smoke at him and smirking when he coughed.

“But that doesn’t mean we support you attempting to have a relationship with Buffy,” Xander said sternly.

“I don’t think it’s up to you,” Spike replied. “Or even your business, whelp.”

“Her wellbeing is our business,” Giles said. “And if you do anything to jeopardize her safety, you know we will step in.”

“Not going to hurt her,” Spike said, beginning to walk away from them. “Thought you trusted me, Rupert.”

“Not enough for you to date Buffy,” he replied.

“She’s safe now,” Spike said, loud enough for the men to hear him. “And I’m not going to let anything happen to her.”

~~~~~~~~~~

After taking a long walk through the streets of Sunnydale, trying to collect his thoughts, Spike made his way to the Summers house and saw Buffy sitting on her front porch by herself, looking up at the sky.

“Where is everyone?” he asked as he walked up the front walkway.

“I sent them home,” she answered, sighing. “I’ve had enough excitement for one day.”

“I know what you mean,” he said as he sat beside her. “How are you fairing?”

“I’m fine,” she replied. “I’m glad the threat is gone… but I guess I’m still reeling from hearing about what happened to Tessa. The fact that Angelus took part in harming her makes me feel sick.”

“Well, Angelus was a merciless sod,” he said. “He didn’t care about anyone besides himself, not even Darla.”

“What are we going to do with her?” Buffy asked, looking at him. “Do we bury her, or-”

“She deserves a proper burial,” he said. “Even though she used to be a monster, she was a human being at the time of her death, so I guess that means she should be buried.”

“How are you doing?” Buffy asked after a long pause. “I can’t imagine how you feel after hearing all of the things Tessa and Angel told you – you must be devastated.”

“I’ve heard and seen a lot of things in my time,” he said. “Tonight wasn’t the worst night I’ve ever lived through… but it’s in the top five.”

“I’m sorry,” she replied, putting her hand on one of his.

“Why would she have done it?” he asked, looking down. “Why would she have staked herself?”

“She got what she wanted,” Buffy said. “She found out the truth about you not knowing what happened to her, you heard what everyone had been hiding from you, and she killed the people who hurt her. She accomplished her mission.”

“She was a bright girl,” he said. “And on some level, I think she always had a death wish of some sort, even when she was human.” He smiled at a memory he had. “She fell out of a tree once in my mum’s garden. She got up to one of the higher branches and lost her balance. Broke an arm and scratched herself up pretty badly.”

“She sounds like she was adventurous,” she replied.

“And curious,” he agreed. “She was a good kid.”

Silence engulfed them for a long moment before Spike looked away.

“She was always pretty astute, too,” he said. “She was right – I’ve failed every woman I’ve ever cared about.”

“I’m still here, Spike, so that’s not entirely true,” she said. “And you know it.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that your sister died because of me,” he replied. “Or that your mum was nabbed.”

“I’m not putting any blame on you for either of those things,” she said. “Tessa took them, not you, and if anyone is at fault, it’s Angelus, Drusilla, and Darla… and they got what they deserved.”

“If things had been different, Dawn would still be here,” he said quietly.

“If things were different, you wouldn’t be a vampire,” she replied. “And I wouldn’t be the Slayer.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked.

“That our situation isn’t ideal, but we’re given the cards we’re dealt and have to live with them,” she said, getting up. “I should probably go back inside – Mom’s biding her time by watching TV until I feel like spilling more of the details from tonight.”

“Yeah, you should go in,” he agreed, standing. “I’ll see you around, pet.”

“Goodnight, Spike,” she replied before walking into her house.

Spike looked at the door for a moment before turning and walking away, going across town to where his Desoto was parked and getting in, starting the car and driving out of Sunnydale, heading for Los Angeles.

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A/N Sorry for such a short chapter, but I’m going out of town this weekend and wanted to post at least one more chapter before I leave. Hopefully the cliffhanger at the end will leave you wanting more until the next installment on Monday.