[A/N: I’ve never struggled so much with words as I have lately; every thought is an effort, every scene a monumental battle to get the images and emotions across. I feel like I’m failing at every turn. . . . And nothing’s working. Title is from one of the quotes, which are as attributed. I own nothing of the Whedonverse, I’m only borrowing, so the disclaimers are in full force and effect. More’s the pity.]

Previously: Faith has killed the manifestation of the spell that was blocking everyone’s memories. Jenner and Faith have come face to face; Lawson’s tracked down Spike and met Buffy; Dawn’s recovering; Cordelia has surfaced from the coma, and Tara has come face to face with heartbreak. This picks up immediately following the last installment.


Book Two. Chapter 51. False face must hide



Away, and mock the time with fairest show;
False face must hide what the false heart doth know.
Macbeth, act I, sc. vii

Seeing my malevolent face in the mirror,
my benevolent soul shrinks back.
Mason Cooley, City Aphorisms, Second Selection

Love once
Tipped the scales but now is shadowed, invisible,
Though mysteriously present, around somewhere.
John Ashbery, Self–Portrait in a Convex Mirror.


But he that hides a dark soul and foul thoughts
Benighted walks under the mid-day sun;
Himself is his own dungeon.
John Milton, Comus, l.





There was no sound.

The air deflated around her. There was nothing to breathe. No sight, no sound. Her vision wavered, and her balance faltered. Stepping back, away from what her eyes refused to believe, what her heart already knew, Tara lost her footing and fell, landing hard on her butt. Great gulping sobs broke from her throat and she couldn’t draw in enough air.

Her knees drew up, and Tara curled in on herself, shutting out the last sigh of Willow, eyes alight with a strange mix of confusion and anger, fraught with an edge she’d never seen before in her ex-girlfriend.

She was unaware of the chaos around her, the hounds furiously bayed, circling around her, their prey disappearing into the ether before they could retrieve her. Giles, Faith and Wesley were struggling through the hounds blocking her, and the vampires gathered, curiosity overriding their reluctance to stand apart. Spike was battling aside the hounds more effectively than the others, in his effort to reach her. Tara was unaware of it all. Uncaring of it all.

Her heart, that fragile organ she’d entrusted to Willow, was broken and truly shattered.

She’d trusted her, loved her. . . . And she’d done the unthinkable yet again.

Willow had destroyed any hope Tara may have had for the other girl to see what she’d done; how she’d damaged her friendships; betrayed everyone’s trust and completely obliterated any tender emotions Tara may have held for her. Any left over, residual love was gone.

Tara rocked back and forth, unable to do anything more than weep, hiding her face against her knees. She fought when strong hands wrapped around her arms, attempting to lift her to her feet, wanting nothing more than to hide from the accusing faces of those around her.

Batting away the hands, Tara pushed them away, only collapsing when she smelled the familiar scent of leather and tobacco that was Spike.

“C’mon Glinda, it’s all right, I’m here. I’ve got you.” His voice was comforting, his presence a shield against the truth and Tara calmed, resting against his chest. “I’ve got you. ‘S gonna be all right.”

She couldn’t talk, any words caught in the wealth of tears clogging her throat, the reality of what had just happened overwhelming her.

“Spike? Is she injured?” Giles’ voice was full of concern, without any recriminations.

“Dunno, Rupes. Can’t get her to relax.” He moved her a little way, holding her so he could check for injuries and bleeding. “Pidge? You all right?”

Tara shook her head, finally looking up to gaze into Spike’s eyes. His blue eyes were flooded with concern and worry, devoid of anger or blame. “Not your fault at all, Glinda, Red’s completely off the rails. No one blames you for any of this.”

As always, whenever faced with a situation she was emotionally tied too, the stutter that had been her downfall surfaced. She tried, she did, but no words would come, and it took Spike a moment before he understood her dilemma. “Hush, now. No worries. We’ll suss it all out later, yeah?”

Her head against his shoulder, Tara dared a look around her. The hounds were milling around, guarding her from the living, blocking Giles and the others from getting to her. The biggest of the hounds, a huge black and red brindled male, kept scenting the air and pacing about, seeking a trail. The hound sniffed at her, and she tried not to flinch away, but the beast was nearly elbow high, and not the cuddly sort. Spike caught her closer, rumbling low in his chest, both as warning and permission. “Relax, pet. He’s just wanting to scent out Red. ‘ve a feeling that’s who they’re after.”

Almost as if he understood, the brindled male emitted a soft bark, gaining the attention of the other hounds. There were answering barks and yips from the others, and with a final sniff of Tara’s skirts, the alpha shot away, the others racing behind him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Buffy stared at the tray the orderly was setting up on the moveable table. There was enough food on it to feed three people. Maureen Osbourne had come through in a big way for her. There was a chocolate milkshake, carrots, soup that smelled suspiciously like beef barley, a ham and cheese sandwich, a salad, some crackers and pretzels in a bag, and complete meatloaf dinner, including mashed potatoes. There was no way she was going to be able to eat all of that, at least not all at once. Picking at the meatloaf and other hot stuff, Buffy kept her eyes on the monitors beside Dawn, looking for any changes.

She’d settled down, her breathing relaxing into the deepness of real sleep, and the doctors had said it was possible she might be able to go home sometime the next day, depending on her responses to the psychiatric questions they had for her. Buffy could only imagine what the doctors would be throwing at Dawn, come the morning, but she was hoping Dawn would be able to give them answers. Part of her understood why Dawn had sought a way out, an end to the whole pain and heartbreak and just let go. There were plenty of times she’d felt the same – when Glory had Dawn, Buffy had almost shut down and given up. Without Willow’s intervention, she would have done just that and let Glory win. In the end, the bitch had won anyway. Glory had taken more from the Summers than anyone, destroyed them as a family; in more than just the obvious ways.

It was Glory’s words, her belief the Key was used for destruction, that set Dawn on this path. The hell god had told her, more than once, the Key was evil, was bad, was wrong. And she’d been so far from the truth. True, they still didn’t know everything the Key was capable of doing; but it didn’t matter. What mattered was Dawn herself, she was an innocent. The monk had told Buffy so, just before he died and she believed it. Might have taken her a while to truly believe it, but she did. Dawn hadn’t asked for any of what had happened, just like any baby brought into a situation – just like Connor.

He and Dawn were innocent of any sins.

Buffy swung her gaze around to the baby, who was still sleeping in the car seat. He was so adorably scrunched, a light blanket wrapped around him and as she watched, he shifted, obviously trying to get comfortable. Giving in to the sudden urge, Buffy lifted him from the car seat and brought him back over to the gurney. There was more than enough room, and maybe Dawn would understand what she was trying to do, the message she was sending her. That is, if she woke up before Connor had to be moved again. Dawn was laying on her side, facing her, and Buffy put the baby down, lifting the safety side so he couldn’t wriggle out.

They settled in together, the baby stretching out, while Dawn almost automatically wrapped her arm around the boy.

A smile crossed Buffy’s features and she dropped a soft kiss on both their heads, a silent prayer in her heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


How the heck did she find out? How did . . . what were those huge dogs? What the heck is going on?

I can’t believe she knew . . . how did she find out?

Willow was pacing the confines of her bedroom, fingers clasped together in front of her mouth, eyes narrowed and focused. She’d been completely taken aback when Tara’s entire demeanor had changed. Her former girlfriend had jerked away from her, in the middle of a kiss, and . . . Willow was at a loss.

She knew the spell had been broken, just by the look on Tara’s face.

What broke the spell? How did it break?

How. . . .

Her nerves were jumping, her mind whirling from one thing to another. Tara, the spell, the dogs. . . . What were those dogs doing guarding Tara?. . . . And what were they?

How am I gonna fix this. . . . How can I make this better? How. . . .

What else is going on?

She went back over the last few minutes, her mind trying to focus on exactly what had happened. They were fine, spending the day together, moment by moment, falling back in love. . . . and then, when Tara leaned in to kiss her, everything fell apart. Willow saw the moment in her mind, realizing there were others arriving while she and Tara were arguing.

Giles, flanked by Wesley and Faith . . . wait a second. Faith? What the heck is Faith doing back in Sunnydale, what is she doing out of jail?

Willow wracked her brain, trying to figure out why Wesley and Faith would be in Sunnydale. What had happened since she stopped living at Buffy’s house that would bring Wesley from Los Angeles and Faith from jail? Los Angeles. . . . Oh holy Hecate. Angel.

Angel’s soul is gone.

That’s how I’m gonna fix this.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The scene played out before him and Hawkins, and Jenner couldn’t begin to fathom what on earth was going on. The Slayer, surrounded by her people, was unable to reach the two girls because of the dogs. Spike was the only one able to break through, and he reached the blond one too late.

“Where the fuck is Glynnis?” He growled out, his eyes following the Slayers every move.

Hawkins looked at him, amused disbelief on his features. “She’s only been gone ten minutes. Do you really think she’s got something already?”

Jenner watched while Faith ignored Spike, her attention on the older man, the one he figured to be the Watcher, more questions filling his head.

“If you were mated, wouldn’t you be paying more attention to your mate?” He was musing out loud, uncaring that Hawkins was listening.

“Yeah. I would. But I’m not mated.” Following Jenner’s train of thought, he asked, “What makes you think he’s claimed the Slayer?”

“Would you look at her? Why wouldn’t he claim her? He’d be a fool not to, and if I know anything about Spike, it’s that he’s no fool.” He took an involuntary step forward, when Faith turned to say something to Spike, relaxing when she didn’t move any closer to the other vampire.

Trying to figure out what had his sire so worked up, Hawkins stared at the Slayer, his eyes traveling over her body. “She is a pretty one.”

Jenner was silent, and Hawkins was caught by surprise when he started moving away, toward the group. “Sire?”

Faith had turned away from the group, her eyes focused on where they were standing. She took a few steps toward them, and Jenner moved on silent feet, their bodies drawn to each other.

They halted, about ten feet between them, neither one’s attention wavering.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


There had only been six of them, so it shouldn’t have been so noticeable when they disappeared. And yet it was. The hounds were gone and Spike found himself shielding Tara from the suddenly overzealously concerned watchers. She was wrapped up, hiding her face away from them, tears falling hard against his chest.

He growled something unintelligible, warning Giles away, then lifted his head when his senses picked up the traces of the other vampires. Off to his left, Spike caught a glimpse of Faith breaking away from the group, moving toward something he couldn’t see through the tangle of Tara’s hair.

He watched, while she moved away, trying to follow her line of sight. Taking Tara and moving her away, closer to Giles, Spike saw what had caught Faith’s attention.

What the fuck? What the bloody fucking hell is he doing in Sunnyhell? Spike followed after Faith, completely ignoring Giles’ spluttering questions.

Watching the strange goings-on, Lawson skirted around the humans, ghosting toward Spike.

Faith’s voice broke through the sudden silence, asking one of the questions Spike had.

“Why are you still here?”

Jenner took long minutes to speak, almost as if he wasn’t sure what his answer would be. “Curiosity.”

“That’s a helluva an answer. You know though, curiosity killed the cat.”

“True, but satisfaction brought him back.” He paused, then shrugged. “We could trade quips all night, but I think your vampire would have a problem with that.”

“My vamp?” Faith looked around, wondering what the hell he was talking about. “I don’t have a pet vamp. That’s B’s specialty.”

“Whose?” Jenner was intrigued by her answer.

“Buffy. The Vampire Slayer.”

Jenner shook his head. “You’re the Slayer.”

“Dude, there’s a glitch in the Matrix. There’s actually two of us.”

“Never happened.”

“Tell that to the Powers, coz, the fact is, there’s two of us. She was here first. I’m just the back-up plan.”

Spike shifted, his movement garnering their combined attention. Feeling the need to say something, Spike unintentionally reinforced Faith’s claim. “Two Chosen ones, as it is.”

He then barked out, “What the bleeding fuck are you doin’ here?”

“Heard some interesting news. Figured I’d come and see what the fuss was all about.”

Spike shook his head. He couldn’t believe the Aurelius line had come out in response to Angel’s summons. He was muttering under his breath, imprecations the others couldn’t hear, when Faith interrupted him. “You two know each other?”

A reluctant chorus of yes was her answer and Faith swung her gaze from one vampire to another. “You’re family?”

“Of a sorts.” Was all the response she got from Spike.

Jenner volunteered, “Angelus and I have the same Sire.”

Her gaze flickered from one vampire to the other, and a flirtatious grin broke out on her face. “Well someone in the family had good taste.”

It took Spike a moment, but his chuckle broke through the night air, joined by Jenner’s a moment later.

“So there are two Slayers? How did that happen?”

Just as Faith was about to launch into a brief explanation, Giles’ voice disrupted her train of thought. “We need to get Tara indoors.” He motioned toward the house, but Spike’s emphatic denial cut him off.

Making a split second decision, Spike pulled Faith aside. “Listen pet, need to keep everyone safe in one spot. ‘Ve a feeling Angel’s gonna strike soon. An’ got my own to watch over, can’t leave them alone, even with Buffy there.” Thinking once more, Spike turned his head away for a second. “Watcher?”

Both Giles and Wesley strode over to where the two were standing, concern etched on their faces. “Spike? What’s wrong?”

Addressing his answer to all of them, he said, “Dawn’s back in hospital. Buffy an’ the sprog are with her now. They’re not lettin’ the girl go until morning. You lot are all gonna have to stay in one spot. Told Faith ‘m thinkin’ the poofter is gonna have a go soon.”

Her hand on his arm, Faith motioned toward the vampires and the others standing in a loose circle around them. “What do we do about this situation?”

Sharing a look with Giles the others couldn’t read, Spike said, “gonna take a leap of faith here. No pun intended. You lot head to the Magic Box, an’ I’m gonna get supplies from the house.”

“Do you think that’s wise?” Giles inclined his head, eyes on the other vampires.

“Got no other resources. ‘M not leaving Buffy alone. An’ that’s why I want you all at the shop. This way, they’re not camped out in front of the house.”

“There’s too much stuff for you to get on your own in one trip. We’ll get it, this way you can head back to hospital.” Wesley paused after indicating himself and Faith. “Is Dawn going to be okay?”

“Dunno, Oxford. She’s in bad shape.” He wasn’t going to say anymore about it, not until they were sure she was going to pull through. “Just got a feelin’. The poofter’s been too quiet since we rescued the cheerleader, it’s been a week or so. . . an’ I’m just worried.”

Indicating the dark-haired vampire behind him, Spike said, “gonna send Lawson back to spy on the git. Jenner an’ his people can stand guard over the shop.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Is that the best course of action?”

The two Englishmen spoke almost simultaneously, mutual looks of concern on their faces.
“Told you, got no choice. ‘Sides, ‘m thinking, Rogue here can handle Jenner.”

There was a spark in his eyes Giles immediately caught, though it took Wesley an additional moment or two. And predictably, Giles reacted by taking off his glasses and peering at Spike intently.

“Are you absolutely certain of this? This is not exactly what . . . . “ He followed the turn of Spike’s head, his eyes seeing Faith’s expression and then glancing up to see the big vampire watching her like a hawk. “Oh bloody hell.”

If not for the amused twinkle in Spike’s eyes, Giles would have gritted his teeth at the smirk gracing his almost son-in-law’s lips. Mentally throwing up his hands at the thought of another slayer/vampire pairing, Giles kept his silence and let Spike continue without further interruption.

“Rogue? Is that what you’re calling me?” Faith finally registered what Spike had been saying and sent him a scathing look.

“Fits, doesn’t it?” He ignored her sputtered comments, talking over her. “Listen. If you think you can get to the house an’ get whatever you need, do it. Jus’ don’t be stupid an’ don’t go alone.”

None of them had anything to say, and when he was finished, Spike turned away to go talk to Jenner.

This isn’t gonna be an easy sell, mate.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Fatigue was pulling at her. Moving took too much effort. Thinking about moving took too much effort. Voices sounded around her, words she couldn’t comprehend, didn’t recognize. Strange noises caught her attention.

A hand kept hold of hers, stroking her skin. Muscles twitched and jumped, and her head was foggy. She floated inside the pain, letting it wash over her, not responding when an unknown voice called her name.

“Cordelia? Miss Chase, can you open your eyes?”

She tried. The effort proved too much and her eyelids fluttered weakly.

Xander’s soft voice called her name and she shifted her head, angling toward him.

“Keep talking Mr. Harris, see if you can get her to respond.”

“C’mon Cordy, open your eyes for the doc.”

Her eyelids fluttered again, this time a stronger try, a slight movement, but still they opened barely.

“Good Miss Chase. Very good.”

There was quiet again, and just before she slipped into oblivion, she heard the doctor say, “Thank you Mr. Harris.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Oz walked into the house, surprised to find it empty. His acute sense of smell told him no one had been home for hours, but that knowledge didn’t stop him from searching the house from top to bottom.

The only evidence of something wrong was in the upstairs hallway bathroom. The metallic scent of old blood was in the air, and further inspection revealed congealed blood pooled in the drain of the tub. Oz dropped to his knees, trying to scent it better, drawing back when he couldn’t place its origins. Not all human. . . . not a whole lot of demon either. . . .

Could be anyone. . . Buffy, Dawn, the baby. . .

He shook his head, trying to clear his senses. Nothing was making any sense at all. This isn’t good. . . .

He was on his feet, back out in the hallway before the front door was fully opened.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Spike paused, digging around in his duster for a pack of cigarettes – instead he came up with a pacifier and a grocery list. Amused disbelief filled his head and with a shake, he stuck them back in, finding the cigarettes in an inside pocket. He lit one, trying to come up with some angle to placate, and reel in, Jenner. Not to worried about Lawson, Spike focused his considerable mind on the other master vampire.

Flicking open his zippo lighter, Spike thought hard. Is his attraction to Faith gonna be enough? He could see Jenner watching the girl, Hawkins at his back. Won’t know until I try. . . .

“He won’t survive this time.” His voice was pitched low, barely audible beneath the human voices.

“Is that so?” Jenner gave him the courtesy of looking at him, an enigmatic look on his face.

“Got two Slayers to fight. Never could face even one.” The truth, and both knew it, was that the only Slayer Angel had ever fought was still living, though only one knew exactly how the battling had gone.

“He’s not a fledge.”

Spike conceded the point. “No. But he’s not one for those kinds of odds either. If one was betting.”

Jenner faced him squarely, Hawkins on his left. Lawson had moved closer, flanking Spike’s right and Spike was struck with the funny image of Jets and Sharks about to break out into a belligerent song and dance number.

“He’s also got me to deal with.” He’d be damned all over again if he gave Jenner all of his secrets, but this was something he wasn’t hiding. “Git came after one of mine.”

Faith had left the others, while they got Tara safely into Gunn’s car, coming to stand on Spike’s other side. Jenner’s eyes shifted, raking over her, then focused back on Spike.

“Need to know if I’m facin’ a battle on two fronts. So again, I ask, why’re you here?”

Jenner drew in a deep breath, more aware of the girl than he’d ever been of anyone, including his sire – and surprised no one more than himself. “No.”

“Just like that? No?” Her voice was husky, her dark eyes fixed on his features.

The two master vampires faced each other, understanding slowly dawning. “Just like that. Won’t stand in your way. Thought there was more to this than just. . . . A dispute over territory.” Jenner shrugged imperceptibly. “Don’t have all the facts either.”

Spike nodded his acceptance of Jenner’s neutrality, then took a gamble he might be willing to hear his side of things. But not just now.

“Need a favor. Gimme twenty-four hours, an’ I’ll meet with you, give you all the answers you need.”

The sound of the truck pulling away barely disturbed them – none of the vampires caring about the humans, intent as they were on the matter before them. “Why the delay?”

“Got things to see to.”

Jenner thought about it for a moment, knowing he would need the time to get information from Glynnis. “Done.”

“Good. Tomorrow night. Ten. In the Magic Shop.”

Turning on his heel, Spike stalked off, knowing Faith and Lawson wouldn’t be far behind.

That Jenner would be moving in his wake shortly didn’t bother him either. He’d gotten the time he needed.



I apologize for the delay in updates, but this story has been . . . well, I've had a bit of a writer's block with it, but I think I have it untangled now. Thanks to some silent help from Slinky and Addie Logan, I think its all under control. Please, despite the fact its been a while, let me know what you think. . . be kind and leave a review.