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You Haven't Even Begun by Oracleholly
 
2 - Emotion
 
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A/N: Written for Prompt Set#2, Prompt #4 (Emotion) for Joss100. Beta by Spikeslovebite.




Buffy ran to the bathroom after History class, her cheeks aflame with total embarrassment. She locked herself in the farthest stall and plopped down on the toilet. Oh God! She’d kept getting weird stares for the rest of the class, and she’d no idea why.

A pair of feet appeared at the edge of her door. Buffy never believed she could ever be so thankful to see a pair of red Keds in her whole life. However, she just wanted to wallow in her misery alone. So she kept quiet, hoping that Willow would take the hint and go away.

“Buffy? Look, it’s just me. No one else is in the bathroom. I’m missing my next class, and you know I don’t skip class. What happened to you in History? It wasn’t a Slayer thing was it? ‘Cause the sounds you were making…umm. Buffy?”

Willow’s feet disappeared and Buffy heard metallic scrapping across the floor. The next thing she knew, Willow’s head appeared over the stall. “Okay, so I know that you’ve not fallen prey to some demony toilet.”

“A demon toilet, Willow?” Buffy almost smiled.

“Hey, we are on the Hellmouth. Stranger things and all that,” Willow said.

“I guess…but ewww. And what did you mean sounds?” Buffy’s eyes grew wide. I made sounds? Oh God, oh God, oh God.

“Umm…that’s a yeah. Wanna talk about it?”

“A world of no.”

“Oh,” Willow responded, disappointment etched across her features.

“Will, it was sort of like a Slayer dream, but without all the nifty ability to, you know, actually be asleep…in the comfort of my bed and not surrounded by people.”

“Do all your…um…Slayer dreams…er…are they so…you know?” Willow’s face blushed beet red, almost matching her hair.

Hiding her face in her hands, Buffy realized exactly how she must have sounded. “No! Oh no. They don’t. In fact, usually they are like nightmares or they sort of give me a hint at what’s gonna happen. Not had one like this…since…” Buffy stopped talking.

“When, Buffy?”

“Last year, not long after Merrick found me. Had this incredible dream with this total hottie and it was…”

Willow watched as Buffy drifted off into dream world again. Snapping her fingers in front of her friend’s face, Willow called out, “Buffy…Buffy?”

“Oh sorry, Will. It’s just that I’ve not dreamed of him in like a year. I thought it was some sort of fluke. It had felt so real you know. And today, in class, I was just staring at my desk and I found myself back there…at our…” Buffy realized what she was about to say and who she was about to say it to. That would not be of the good.

“At our…what, Buffy?”

“Our place. Just like any ol’ place I guess,” Buffy said, permanently clamming up on the issue of where.

“So what’s he like? Is he like Angel?” Willow inquired.

“Oh no, nothing like Angel. Angel…well, Angel is Angel. My va-dream guy is totally different. He’s got the most incredibly blue eyes, and a body that should be sculpted. But then that would mean others would get to see it too and that would make me a jealous Buffy. And I’m not pleasant when I’m jealous Buffy.”

“So no sculpting of Buffy’s dream guy. Check,” Willow offered, smiling.

“Oh, Will. I don’t know what to do. I mean; I don’t even know if this guy exists. A part of me believes he does, and yet, I know I’ve never really met him. What if I’m just making this up?”

“Do you think you should talk to Giles about it?” Willow suggested.

“Oh no! I can’t talk to Giles about him,” Buffy almost hyperventilated at the mere thought of saying to Giles, ‘So in my dream, I make with the sweaty, hot kissage and touchage with a vampire.’ “I so can not tell Giles.”

“Okay, okay. It was only a suggestion. I mean you said it felt like a Slayer dream, and well, Giles is your go-to guy with the Slayer knowledge.”

“I know Will, but it’s Giles,” Buffy said, emphasizing her horror with dramatic hand gestures. “He’d be all cleaning of the glasses, and Will, it would be like if you asked your mom about sex.”

“Yeah, I get your point. Okay, so maybe I could help with the secret research. Maybe we can find your guy?”

“You think so, Will? That would be so great,” Buffy said.

Willow’s brow suddenly creased. “But Buffy, what are you going to tell Angel?”

“Nothing. He doesn’t need to know,” Buffy responded.

“But I thought just last week you were down with the Angel hotness,” Willow replied.

“Look, sure, Angel has that mysterious vibe going for him, but that can be annoying. Besides, if my guy is real, then I’ll deal with it then.”

“So you’re just going to go all Scarlett O’Hara on this?” Willow asked, obviously not pleased.

“Huh?”

“You know… you’ll be all ‘I’ll think about it tomorrow’ and stuff.”

“Yeah, I guess I am, Will. I can’t put the basket before the horse,” Buffy said.

Willow rolled her eyes. “That’s cart before the horse, Buffy.”

“Oh, so the basket?”

“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”

“Well, that too, then.”

“I still think you are being silly about this and totally unfair to Angel,” Willow said.

“Will, Angel and I aren’t like an official couple. He’s never asked me out on a date. In fact, all he does is sometimes show up and tell me something cryptic. Now, that a boyfriend does not make. So, why should I tell him about my dream guy?” Buffy asked.

Then taking a breath, she continued, “Let’s just start on the research and see if we get anywhere. If we don’t, then and only then, I’ll think about telling Giles. There’s something about Angel I just don’t trust, Will. I can’t put my finger on it. But it’s there.”

“Okay. This time I won’t give you my resolve face,” Willow said.

“Your resolve face?” Buffy queried.

“Yeah, you may be the Slayer and all, but I have the power of my resolve face.”

Laughing, Buffy said, “Well, as long as you use that power for good.”

More somberly, Buffy asked again, “So I made noises?”

“Oh, yeah. I thought Xander was about to fall out of his seat.”

“Oh, God!”
 
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