It's Not Enough

By:  Morrigan


A/N:  Sorry that it has taken me so long to update again.  I've been pretty busy and since starting the collaboration with Blacknblue2 I haven't had a lot of extra time for my other stuff as well.  Thanks goes out to everyone who has reviewed this fic.  I hope you all enjoy this chapter as well.

Once again, beta'd by my fab friend, Blacknblue2.  Without her, my stories wouldn't be worth a damn.  Thanks, again, girl!


Disclaimer:  All characters are property of Joss Whedon and ME.  A fact that I don't particularly care for, but I deal with it the best that I can.



Giles was feeling sorry for himself.

As he poured himself another glass of scotch, he found himself staring at, rather than reading, the pages of the book that he held in his hands.

Putting it down in frustration, he smiled ruefully to himself as he thought about the situation these days had brought them all to.  Not so long ago, he would have scoffed at the idea of comaraderie between himself and so many members of less than human kind.  Not so long before that, he would have been appalled at the thought of so many humans knowing exactly who and what the slayer was, not to mention a group of them helping her with her duties.  Everything that he had been taught by the counsel spoke against it.

But then, most every other slayer that had come before Buffy had perished long before they reached her age.  Buffy Summers, at 22 years of age, was older than most of her slayer sisters by at least 4 years.  Perhaps, if the others had not had to live their lives in such secrecy, they too, would have lasted longer.

The pity that he felt for these countless number of girls could not overpower the wave of pride that came over him, when he thought of his slayer.  She had overcome so many obstacles and he could no longer deny that her stubborn refusal to abide by the rules had much to do with that.

But, as he thought of this, Dawn's words continued to echo through his mind.  "Buffy believed in you," she had said, "Can't you have the same belief in her that she gave to you?"

But as proud and confident of Buffy as he was, Dawn was right.  When it came to Spike, he had not trusted her judgement at all.

Perhaps it was due to the fact that so many of her allies were of the demon and/or previously demon origin that she had so readily accepted him back into their midst.  It had appeared to him that she had become so accustomed to Spike's previously chipped state that she had forgotten what truly lie underneath his *now* helpful exterior.

But in truth, he always suspected that there was more to it than that.

Giles recalled how even when Spike had first come to them 3 years ago, starving and begging for safety from the initiative.   Buffy had badgered, taunted and teased the vampire, more like a child would do to an annoying classmate, she secretly had a crush on, rather than an evil creature who had threatened their lives on several occasions.

She had never taken that much interest in an enemy before.  There was no room for argument or second chances, or truces.  But, Spike had always been an exception to the rule.

Giles himself had come to Spike, after they had learned that his chip did not in any way affect his ability to fight demons, and offered him the chance to join them.  It wasn't something easy for him to do, but he figured that perhaps, as strange as the idea seemed it could work.  Spike lived for violence, but he also had an extensive knowledge of various demon languages and customs, and could therefore be quite useful to their cause.

Spike, however, had laughed the idea off, stating that he wanted nothing more to do with the whole lot of them.

However, Spike seemed to forget his own words, when it came to Buffy.  Spike did anything that she asked of him, and it seemed as if he shadowed her wherever she went.  He was like a bloody stalker, he was!

But then, he had refused to reveal Dawn's true nature to Glory, at risk of his own self, something that Giles would have thought to be completely against Spike's nature.  And that, Giles believed, was the turning point in Buffy's opinion of Spike.   No matter how much she would protest to the contrary, Giles knew for certain that his selfless actions had placed Spike, the un-souled creature that he was, in Buffy's small circle of trust.

A fact that made Giles very nervous.

So much, was Buffy's trust in Spike, that she had left him in charge of her sister's care in her absence.  And, it wasn't hard for Giles to see, even before the truth had been revealed to all, that there was more to Buffy's relationship with Spike than just professional comaraderie, after her return.

And this made Giles even more nervous.

He wasn't exactly sure what had happened to cause Spike's sudden departure last year, but Buffy, who had finally seemed to be coming out of her depression, had become withdrawn and distant again for quite some time, afterwards.  And, her refusal to tell any of them about his return, all the way up until she brought him to stay in her own home, didn't do anything to bolster Giles' confidence in her judgement concerning this vampire.

"But then," he thought, "What kind of example am I?"  Here he was -- sitting at the dining room table, after helping his slayer to turn herself into a monster, attacking and belittling Xander, letting Willow run off to Los Angeles with a werewolf who none of them had heard from in over 3 years and seemed to know quite a bit more about The First than any of them would have anticipated, while he was getting pissed on scotch, and was doing nothing but sit on his stuffy old British ass, allowing the very vampire that he had accused of being under-handed, to be the one to find Buffy and bring her home.

'And why is that?'  He wondered.  'Ah, yes, it's because I was wrong.'  He nodded silently to himself as he took another sip from
his glass.

All this time, he had been waiting for the other shoe to fall, for Spike to turn on her.  But, he never had.  He had held such little faith in Buffy's instincts concerning Spike that he had never stopped to look over the facts himself.  But he could see it now.  It wasn't Buffy's judgment that had been affected; it was his own.  He had let his prejudice cloud his vision.  And, in the process, had taken actions which proved himself to be the one who was un-deserving of trust.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the front door being opened, and he raised his head in time to see the very subjects of his
thoughts as they both made their way inside.

"Buffy!" he exclaimed, rising from his chair, but standing where he was so as not to alarm her.  "Thank God you are alright!"

Buffy turned to him and smiled weakly.  She appeared normal now, by all accounts, but she looked pale and exhausted.

Dawn, having not seen the way Buffy had reacted to Giles, Spike and Willow in the basement, did not have the same reservations, however. After hearing Giles' words from downstairs, she threw open her bedroom door and raced down the stairs and quite literally flung herself into her sister's arms.

"Buffy, oh my God!  I was so scared!"  She exclaimed, hugging Buffy tightly and not noticing the panicked expression on her sister's face as she slowly brought her arms around to hug her in return.

Giles noticed, though, and was relieved that he had kept his distance. He looked to Spike and noted the serious expression in his eyes and the upward tilt of his head as he glared back at him.  The warning was clear.  'Upset her again, and I will deal with you.'

Accepting of Spike's feelings in this matter, Giles chose not to mention it, opting instead for a nod and a greeting.  "Hello, Spike," he said, calmly.

"Lo, Watcher," Spike nodded and responded, in kind.

"I'm... I'm sorry if I scared you guys," Buffy's voice broke their mutual concentration, bringing their focus back down to where she was standing.  Wringing her hands nervously, she continued, saying, "I um, well, I just needed to get out and clear my head.  I wasn't all myself, I guess."  She dropped her hands, and looked back and forth between her sister and her watcher before concluding, "I uh, I think I'm okay now."

"No, Buffy," Giles said, as he began to walk towards her.  He could feel Spike's gaze boring a hole through him, but he ignored it and kept his attention on Buffy instead.  "It is I, who should be sorry.  For a great many things.  You have nothing to apologize for.  I'm just so glad to see that you are alright."

Noting her red rimmed eyes, he realized that she had been crying, and was most likely on the verge of doing so again. Conflicted with the urge to comfort her, verses the fear of upsetting her further, he settled for the middle road, leaving the choice in her hands as he stopped a few short feet away and extended his arms in invitation.

A second passed.   Two.   Three.  Just when Giles was ready to accept that perhaps his gesture had not been such a welcome idea, she stepped forward.

Giles wrapped his arms around the girl who should have been his own, and thanked God that she was safe, and had seen fit to forgive him.

"It's alright, Buffy," he told her.  "It's all going to be fine.  You're home.  You're safe.  And, I believe in you.  We're going to beat this thing, all of us," he stated, looking over her shoulder to meet the steely eyes of the vampire who was still watching him, intently.  Hoping he was making his intentions clear, Giles held his gaze as he concluded, "Together."