Something to Sing About by Lilachigh

Chp 9 What sacrifice?


Buffy woke to the sound of someone hammering on the front door. Spike’s head was pillowed on her breasts and he grumbled in his sleep as she pushed him to one side. Then she grinned as he rolled off the sofa and fell on the floor.

“That will so teach you to wake up quicker!“ she jeered as the cussing and swearing reached inventive new heights.

She reached the door, checking automatically to make sure that Spike was nowhere near. Daylight flooded in as she opened it. Admittedly it was the dreary grey daylight that she was now used to in this Sunnydale, but still enough to fry her husband.

Outside stood Willow, Tara and Xander: hurrying in, Buffy slammed the door shut behind them. Willow looked awful; pale and ill. Her face was all eyes, her cheekbones pushed through dull skin and there was a defeated air about her. The belligerence she’d shown when she’d first seen Buffy on her return had vanished.

So was this what losing someone you loved so deeply could do to you? Buffy shivered. She tried to imagine what would happen if the other Willow lost Tara. Oh, not just from the silly quarrel they were having at the moment about doing too much magic. But if something dreadful happened and Tara died. Would Willow go to pieces like this? She shook her head. No, that was a silly thought. Nothing was going to happen to Tara.

Xander threw himself into a chair and nodded a greeting at Spike. Buffy smiled inwardly. It still struck her as odd that in this world the two men were friends. But – she wrinkled her nose – even at this early hour she could smell booze on his breath.

“What’s up, Will?” she asked. “Is it Ben?”

The witch nodded, her fingers plucking at a loose thread on her sweater. “Something weird’s happening, Buffy. Early this morning, all the zombie people in town started walking towards the hotel. They’re moaning and muttering more than usual. It’s almost as if they’re being drawn to him.”

“We felt you and Spike ought to know,” Tara added.

“I can feel the power building,” Willow whispered, her eyes darkening. “I can‘t fight it, but I can feel it. He’s pulling it in from the air, from the ground, from these poor people. Buffy, I don’t know what he‘s planning, but believe me, it’s going to happen very soon.”

Buffy shuddered. She ran her hand lightly over her stomach, aware that Spike was watching her. What Ben was after, what he needed to put his plan into action was right here in this room, inside her. The blood of the mystical baby she was carrying would open the portal to the devil dimension that Ben longed for.

It all came rushing back to her – the choice she had to make. She could go back though the portal with Spike; leave this Sunnydale to its own devices. Ben would carry on with his evil domination but at least the world would be safe and untold horrors would not arrive to take over the earth.

Or she could stay here, get rid of the baby and fight Ben. Find some way of defeating him. She’d done it once. But the last time you did it, you had to die, a little voice whispered in her head. Are you prepared to do that again?

She was aware of Spike pulling on his boots, gazing up at her from under frowning dark brows. Things were complicated here by their relationship. Before, when she’d been forced to jump off the tower to save Dawn, she and Spike hadn’t been together.

Now – well, now he was her husband and as such had said he wouldn’t let her sacrifice herself a second time. Of course, being the Slayer, he couldn’t physically stop her, but –

“So Buffy, what are you going to do?” Xander’s voice was thick with fear. “Are you going to help us?”

“Did you find out anything from Willie?” Tara asked. “You were heading there when we last saw you.”

“I don’t think Buffy’s interested,” Willow said suddenly, gazing at her friend’s pale, tense face. “You want to go back, don’t you?” She sounded angry and her hands clenched into fists. “You’re going to leave us to Ben and his cronies. My Oz died for nothing! You don’t care, do you? Admit it? You don’t care at all!”

“Red!” Spike’s voice cracked like a whip but Buffy held out a hand to stop him as he strode forward.

“It’s OK. Will, I’m not going anywhere until this has been dealt with.” She was suddenly calm. She hadn’t even known what she was going to say before she said it, but of course, in the long run whatever she wanted to do, she had a responsibility to this world, just as much as she had to the other.

She was the Slayer. It wasn’t that difficult to do the math. Slayer equals mission equals putting your life before everyone else, no matter what you personally want.

“Buffy?” Spike reached out to touch her and for an instant she linked her fingers with his, then gently pulled away.

“We need to get back to the hotel,” she said briskly. “Will, I know this sounds stupid, but have they started building anything in town – like –? ”

“Like a soddin’ great rickety tower!” Spike put in.

Willow frowned, looked at the others and then shook her head. “No. Nothing like that. Is that what happens next? What’s it for?”

Buffy shrugged. God she needed a cup of coffee but – she flinched - even if there had been power, caffeine and babies were very non-mixy things in any universe. “Hopefully, you’ll never need to know.”

“Do you want us to come with?” Xander asked.

Buffy hesitated. Xander in the other world wouldn’t have asked. He’d have accepted he was going until told otherwise. Then he’d have complained bitterly at being sidelined. This Xander didn’t want to tackle Ben. That was so obvious. She felt a wave of pity flood over her and wished there was some way she could show one of her dearest friends that he could lead a great life without looking at it through the bottom of a bottle.

She glanced round at Willow and Tara. There was no way either was fit to take on Ben or his minions in a fight. The red head looked as if every ounce of strength had been drained out of her and Tara just seemed bewildered.

“No, me and Spike’ll cope. If we need reinforcements we know where to come. Will, I hate to ask, but if you could concentrate on over-riding the control Ben has over the power lines, that would help. Keep some of his mind occupied elsewhere.”

Willow nodded. “I’ll try. It’s either that or the water.” Then she tugged her friend to one side. “Buffy, I’m sorry! I’ve been so horrible to you since you got back.”

Buffy ran her fingers through her hair, longing to wash it and knowing there was no way. “Don’t worry. No biggie. You’ve had a lot to deal with.”

“But I haven’t been dealing, that’s the point! No dealing! Oz dying like that, so pointlessly, being brave, being stupid. I told him -!” She stopped as the memories crowded down on top of her. “All I could think of when you came back was that somewhere, in your other world, Oz is still alive. And that Willow, doesn’t even want him, does she?”

“How did you –?” Buffy stopped, wincing at the pain in her friends eyes, knowing that somehow she’d magiced herself to the other universe to see “Will, that’s there. OK, the people look the same, but you’re not. You’re all different. You might not even have loved the Oz in that world.”

“You and Spike aren’t different.”

“But we don’t exist in both Sunnydales,” Buffy explained. “We can only live in one world at a time. I don’t know why. The other Willow’s spell that made the portal in the first place must have something to do with it.”

The redhead sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. “You’re lucky, then. I can tell you it’s major weird knowing that there’s another Willow who doesn’t want her Oz.”

She glanced at Buffy, her eyes sharper for a minute. “Are you and Spike the same in that world? Married and all?”

Buffy shook her head. “No, we’re not – together. Things are different.”

“But you still love each other, right?”

There was a long pause. Buffy stared across the room to where the blond vampire and Xander were sitting, talking quietly together. She wondered what they were discussing. It looked like a normal conversation between two guys who were friends.

Spike was smiling; that smile that was no more that a twitch of his lips and a raise of his eyebrows. But it made his face softer, happier.

“Yes, we love each other,” Buffy whispered and knew, with absolute certainty that what she had just said was the truth. She loved him in both worlds and now she’d admitted it, even to herself.

Spike’s head turned sharply towards her and she felt herself colouring. Vampire hearing! She’d forgotten he could hear a whisper from the other side of the room.

She watched as an expression of pure blazing joy spread over his face. Someone given a glimpse of heaven couldn’t have looked happier. He swung towards her, eyes glinting. “Right, pet. Off to save the world again, are we?”

A single look flashed between them – a question asked and answered – and then she nodded. “OK, sounds like a plan. We’ll have to go through the tunnels, Spike. Can’t afford to watch you doing your famous impersonation of a piece of toast!”

“We’ll go home,” Tara said. “Take care, Buffy. And listen – take care now you’re – ” she stopped, hesitating, puzzled. Buffy was glaring at her; almost as if she was terrified she was going to say more.

“We’ll take care of each other,” Buffy said firmly and followed Spike down the stairs into the dark basement.

A scratch of a match and the flicker of a candle gave her enough light to follow him into the tunnel system. Natural light filtered in through various vents and gratings in the roads above.

“So you love me then, Slayer,” Spike’s voice hummed with satisfaction.

“You know I do.”

“Only in this world, pet. You said both. As in two. As in here and there. As in – ”

“Enough Asing! Yes, I love you, stupid vampire. In this world and the other. Is that what you wanted me to say?”

He spun round in the narrow passage, black coat flying and pulled her into his arms. His mouth crashed down on hers, then suddenly the passion faded and the kiss became tender, deep and loving. He tried to put into his lips all his brain refused to put into words – that he’d loved her in both Sunnydales, had found her, lost her, found her again. That every atom of his being was tuned to her and if he had to die for her, then he would, gladly, willingly.

When they finally broke for the air she still needed, he ran his fingers up into her hair and wrapped it around his hand. Then he sighed. “I expect you’ll forget when we get home.”

Buffy shook her head, glad of the tugging pain from where the hair was caught between his fingers. “No, I won’t. I don’t think I ever completely forgot. I think that was why I could never commit to Riley all the way. Some part of me remembered we were married and in love.”

Spike growled. “A lot’s happened since then, pet.”

“And a lot’s still to come.” She freed herself gently and tied her hair back with a scrap of ribbon from her jacket pocket. “Nothing changes, Spike. We’ve still got Ben to deal with and the mystical baby.”

“You’re keeping it then?”

Buffy turned her face towards the darkness at the end of the tunnel. She had no idea what awaited them, but at least she knew now that, yes, she was going to keep this Key baby. Like Dawn it was being made from her blood. How could she possibly get rid of it?

But as she followed Spike down the tunnel towards the Hotel, she was possessed by one thought. She’d died to save Dawn and the world. What sacrifice would she make to save her own child?


To be continued