It's Not Enough

By:  Morrigan


A/N:  I know I've been terrible about keeping these updates going in a timely manner.  I have no excuse, other than that my life is a roller coaster, and I do what I can.  Thank you all again for continuing to read my story and for leaving such great reviews.  I hope you enjoy this one. :)

Beta'd, of course, by the incomparable Blacknblue2.  She's the bestest beta fishy in the sea!  *L*  Thanks again, girl, for all the time you have devoted to my mad imaginings.  What would I do without you?



Disclaimer:  Hey?  Guess what?  I don't own a damn thing other than my storyline.  I'm borrowing all the characters from Joss Whedon.  Well, most of them, anyway.  *EG*




One hour later...



"Ow!  Bleedin' hell!"  Spike cursed, rubbing his eye as he pushed aside the twigs that had hit him in the face.

"So much for stealthy vampire grace," Faith snickered as she ducked the tree limb that he had so clumsily stumbled into.  "Say, aren't you supposed to like, see better than we can, out here?"

"Quiet, you guys!"  Buffy hissed, "Are you *trying* to blow our cover?"  She looked several yards ahead of them to the bringer that they had been following though the woods.

"Hate to be the one to break it to you, Highness," Spike snarked, "but we don't have a cover.  The bloke up there knows we're on to him!  Have you ever known one of those bastards to ever travel alone?  And, considerin' that it's their duty to track down the likes of you, I hardly think he is clueless as to your presence!"

"Big Bad's got a point, B," Faith chimed in, "Ran across plenty of those guys, myself, before I came out here.  They are pretty perceptive, for a bunch of blind freaks."

"When I want your opinion, Faith," Buffy began, stopping behind a tree and waiting when the bringer came to a stop, up ahead.  "I'll be sure to ask you for it."

Buffy kept her eyes focused ahead of them, intent on keeping track of their unknowing scout.

'Since when did Spike start lagging behind, when they set out to do something?'  She wondered.  'And, when did he jump aboard the *let's second guess Buffy's plans* ship?'  Usually, he would be right at her side, but tonight, he was all with the running into things and running at the mouth, with Faith.

She felt a fire burning between her eyes, and a tight feeling in her gut that had become so familiar to her, over the past few weeks.  In light of her current company, she finally admitted to herself what it was.  She was jealous.  Faith had always managed to bring that out in her.  She just never figured that Spike would fit into the equation...  But he did...  And she was...  But she'd be damned if she would let either one of them know it!

The bringer tensed and turned his head to the left, just as a chill ran down Buffy's spine.  'No time to worry about this now,' she thought, 'But, later, I just might need to have a talk with a certain bleached menace.'

Catching up and passing Spike, Faith crept up behind Buffy and whispered, "Yo, B...  I'm just sayin'-"

"That I still think this is the worst plan ever!"  Spike interjected, shaking his head.  It's a trap, plain and simple.  I didn't survive this long without learnin' a thing or two, and this-"

"Cool it, Grandpa," Buffy quipped, her eyes still focused on the bringer.  "Something else is out here."

Quieting and looking around now, Faith felt the same tingles as Buffy.  Turning her back on her, she planted her feet in a fighting stance and looked around in the darkness.

"Oh great," Spike murmured, as several glowing sets of eyes began to appear in the shadows.  The bringer that they had been tracking turned towards them, his scarred and sightless face a hideous vision, even at this distance, and grinned, maliciously, before running, effectively disappearing between the trees.

"Told you it was a trap," Spike huffed, between clenched teeth, before stepping into formation with the two slayers.  Buffy had backed away from the tree to give herself freedom of movement and now the three of them stood in a circle, with their backs to each other, waiting as the small army of vampires approached from all sides.

As they drew closer, the first thing that Buffy noticed was how thin and haggard they all appeared.  They looked like holocaust victims with their bones showing through their skin.  The vibes that they emanated washed over and through her, and she could swear that she could actually feel their ravenous hunger.  Spike had been right, after all.  There was no reason that such a group of vamps would be in this condition unless something had been preventing them from hunting.  They were under the control of The First.  And they had just been set loose just for this occasion.

They rushed as one, fangs bared and salivating with anticipation.   Their number was so great the best chance that Buffy and the others had against them would be to remain in this formation as long as possible, to prevent being attacked from all sides.   However, as the first line crashed into them full force, they all knew that they could only hold it for so long.

They swung into action, kicking, punching, and staking as quickly as they could, but just as one vamp would dissolve, there would be another one, snarling and clawing through the dust.

Spike was the first to be separated.  Buffy felt, rather than saw this, and she was un-able to do anything to help.  She and Faith pressed into each other's backs as they continued to fight off their attackers.  She tried to focus on his signature, over the others.  It was the only thing she could do, to know that he was alright.  For now, at least, he was coming through, loud and clear.

It wasn't much longer though, before she and Faith were pulled from each other, the creatures swarming in on all sides, claws tore at her body, while teeth snapped and gnashed all around her.

An angry scream came from somewhere off to her left, that she recognized to be Faith.  Something had hurt her.  But, seconds later, she heard many more screams from the same general side, that most definitely were not hers.  Whatever had happened to Faith, it only served to really piss her off.

Buffy was choking on the dust. &nbsThough, their numbers were slowly dwindling, she had never been this close to so many vampires at once, and the feeling was making her claustrophobic and sick.  She tried once more, to reach out for Spike's signature, to grasp some familiarity in this writhing mass of the un-dead... Only to have her heart freeze up in horror.

It wasn't there.

He wasn't there.

Panic overtook her, and her demon instincts rose to the fore and took charge of her senses.  She struck out with animalistic force and speed in her anguish, her own desolate howls rising above the clamor which surrounded them.  No longer did her feet find purchase on the soft grass, sliding though inches of dust instead, as she dealt out her vengeance.

Faith had held serious doubts that they would survive this.  Looking around now, she noticed first that she could actually do so.  Secondly, she realized that they were winning.  It was un-believable...  But they were.  She looked to her right as an ungodly cry assaulted her ears.  She got her first real look at Buffy since this whole thing began and was so shocked at the sight of her, that she took a hard kick to the stomach which sent her sprawling.

'He can't be gone yet!'  Buffy's mind screamed over and over.  'I'm not ready for him to be gone yet!'  In the face of her fury, some of the vamps had chosen their skins over their hunger and fled.  She whirled about, mowing through the last remaining few that lingered too long in her path, searching with her eyes for what she could not find with her senses.  The vamps' vibes overwhelmed her.  She felt as though she were cloaked in them.

"They're running away!"  She heard Faith shout to her, but she paid her no heed.  Blood ran into her eye, and she wiped at it roughly, as she continued to search around her.  She whirled with her stake, snarling savagely as a hand clamped down on her shoulder, from behind.

The creature caught her wrist forcefully, before she could land her blow.  She narrowed her glittering eyes and looked up to the face of the creature who held her, the stake falling from her grasp, as they met shockingly familiar blue.

A thousand thoughts flew through Buffy's mind in that second.  The first was incomparable relief, followed by the realization that she tried to stake him.  But the most prominent was the understanding that she had tried to
stake him because, amongst all the other creatures, she hadn't recognized him.  Under such great numbers, the signatures became one.  And that not only frightened her, it enraged the demon within.

Spike released his grip on her wrist after a moment, once he was certain that she saw him for who he was.   He was breathing heavily, glancing down at the ankle deep dust that covered the ground, quite relieved to not be part of it.

Buffy Summers - devoted friend, loving sister, and, self proclaimed, shoe-a-holic had shut down.  But the slayer hadn't.  The slayer was horrified at what she had nearly done.  And the slayer was determined that this would never happen again.

"I thought I had lost you."  She said, matter of factly, in a voice far detached from herself.

Spike tried his best to look casual.  He dusted off his arms, and looked around, nearly smiling at the vision of Faith lying on her back a few yards away, panting with relief, her hand resting over her heart.

"Take more than a group of undernourished toothy wankers to do me in, Slayer," he snarked.  "I already tol' you, you're stuck with me."   He held his arms open in invitation and said, playfully,  "I'm all yours."

Had he known what was really holding Buffy's reigns, he might have chosen his words a little differently.

Stepping smoothly into his embrace, she grasped his arms in a near crushing grip, rendering him temporarily immobile, her voice taking on a dangerous edge as she hissed, "I'm glad we agree," before pulling him down roughly and embedding her fangs, viciously, in his throat.

"Fuck!" Was really the only word he could summon.  His arms tightening, instinctively around her, although not knowing whether to hold her close, or pry her off.  The chit had gone completely off her nutter!  His thoughts ran the gamut and clashed against his emotions which all but rolled and swelled like the churning sea.

'This is not the way things go,' he thought.  'She's human.  She's a slayer.'  But, the sensation of her fangs tearing his flesh, the feel of his blood being pulled from him, left no room for doubt that, in this case, that is exactly the way things were going.  And he couldn't help but hope that she was truly ready for the results that her actions would grant.  He struggled weakly, then, dread filling him at the thought of her turning him away, when she realized, fully what she had done.

Her jaws flexed, sending another fiery jolt of pain turned ecstasy throughout his being.  Falling to his knees, he was only vaguely aware of the wetness collecting at his collar, of her nails digging deep furrows into his arms while she continued her inexperienced but savage assault.

"Mine!"  She snarled through her teeth, her verbal claim stunning him far more than her dominant aggression, causing his heart to swell in spite of his fears of future rejection, leaving him no choice but to answer her, in turn.  "Yours...  Always, Love."

Buffy's demon, sated for the moment at hearing the acceptance of its claim, slid into the background, leaving a stunned and horrified Buffy in its wake.

She quickly released her hold of Spike's arms, her demonic visage fading away as she scrambled back and took in the damage she had caused.

The world around her turned on its axis as her nearly forgotten dream sprung into life before her eyes.

Shaking, she looked up at Spike and gasped. The left side of his neck was torn and bleeding profusely. The blood poured out in small rivers to drip down onto the ground between them.

Spike blinked and looked down, almost shyly, before bringing his eyes back up to hers. A gleam of something different was replaced in
them, and one side of his mouth curved into a sultry smile, still trying to put forth the face of bravado, even in light of the terrible thing that she had done.

Buffy covered her mouth as she gathered herself to her feet, shaking her head in denial of the words she already knew he would speak.

"Ladies first."

She looked around and spotted Faith, who was sitting up now, staring at the scene that she had created, in mute shock.  Averting her eyes from her gaze, she shook her head again, in disbelief, and backed away a couple of steps.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to Spike, her eyes filling with tears of shame, refusing to meet his gaze.  Her words of regret, although un-intentionally, sliced through his heart like a sword.

"I'm...  I'm just so sorry," she stammered, before turning and running back out of the woods, fleeing from the hurt and what she thought was betrayed look in Spike's eyes.

Spike hung his head and let his long fingers drag through his hair.  Despair gripped him in its grasp.  He knew she did not realize what she had done and could, therefore, not mean her actions to be cruel.  But, her intentions could do nothing to change the truth of what they told.  Spike was lost.

Running through the darkness, she was un-aware that the new pain that seized her heart was Spike's and not merely her own.  She was ignorant to the binds of her demon's claim.  The feeling of loss and separation urged her to turn back and race into his arms... But, suddenly, she felt the icy grip of panic wash through her and was certain that he would reject her now.

So she ran...  Her silent tears evolving into hard choking sobs as she broke through the edge of the woods, still completely oblivious to the connection, while far in the distance behind her, Spike felt his heart fall and break into a thousand tiny shards at his feet.