"Bleeding Me"

"Way, way down inside there's a hollow soul
An emptiness shatters tomorrow
And I find it hard to breathe for me in your company
Seems I've been taken for granted

And you're breaking and bleeding me down to nothing
It's tearing me down
You're breaking me and bleeding me down to nothing
Yeah!

Maybe, this time baby it's meant to be
No more suffocating you or me, oh yeah
And I payed the price but you sentencing me to life
And I feel I bought in my time

And you're breaking and bleeding me down to nothing
It's tearing me down
You're breaking me and bleeding me down to nothing
Again

You're breaking me
And bleeding me
Again
You're bleeding me, you're bleeding me

And you're breaking and bleeding me down to nothing
You're tearing me down
You're breaking me and bleeding me down to nothing
You're tearing me, tearing me down again
Tearing me down again
You're breaking me and bleeding me
Bleeding me again" Godsmack (Bleeding Me IV 2006)


Spike was nervous. Buffy was arriving today. He was grateful to have had at lest two days with his Bit before the Slayer came and stole her away from him again. The whole of the L.A crew, along with Dawn and himself, sat waiting in Angel’s office.

He didn’t have to wait long. At just past noon, the love of his life and bane of his existence walked through the doors. From the look on her face Spike knew. She had lied to him. Buffy’s last words having only been a pat on the head for a job well done. She now had no place in her new and wonderful life for him. That would just have to be one more grievance that Spike would have to deal with on his own.

It took all of Buffy’s restraint not to throw herself into Spike’s arms and beg him to believe her. He hadn’t bothered to tell her he was back, and that just proved that he was like every other man in her life. True, his death was what had caused Spike to leave her originally but once back, he should have been right back to her side. Buffy may not want him in her life, she finally had a chance for something normal despite her feelings, but the New Council could have used a seer on staff. He could have also helped train the new slayers but since Spike had chosen Angel and his friends over her, Buffy felt no need to try and change his mind. Let him see exactly what he’s passing up. Buffy thought rather snidely. She quickly forced the tiny voice in her head telling her she was being unreasonable to the back of her mind. Funny how that voice sounded an awful lot like her mother.

“Hello Buffy.” Angel smiled. Stepping forward to greet the slayer, Angel placed a gentle kiss to her upturned lips. Pulling away, he sent a rather smug grin Spike’s way enjoying the look of devastation in the blonde’s eyes. Buffy was and would always be his girl. It was time Spike learned that anything he wanted, Angel could easily take away.

“Buffy, it’s a pleasure to see you again.” Wesley said, taking her offered hand in his. His greeting was cold and highly formal, shocking himself.

Once finished, Wesley stood a little closer to where Fred, Lorne, and Dawn sat surrounding Spike. Wesley may not have thought to trust Spike but after seeing the pain in his eyes at Buffy and Angel’s demonstration, he felt protective of the seer. Wesley knew what it was like to be in love with someone who did not love you back.

“I’m sure you remember Gunn, Fred, and Lorne from the last time you stopped by.” Angel grinned. He had deliberately mentioned her last visit, just to drive his point home.

“Yeah, I do.” Buffy smiled at the three only to receive a rather frosty greeting from Lorne and Fred. Gunn didn’t seem bothered either way, but Buffy was confused. Fred and Lorne were some of the nicest people Buffy had ever met. They had helped immensely after Sunnydale had collapsed and she just could not reconcile the difference. Didn’t they know that Spike had betrayed her by not coming back to her the moment he was able to?

“Spike.” Buffy briefly stated, giving the impression that his presence didn’t matter.

“Slayer.” The low flat lifeless tone sent a chill through the room’s occupants. Steeling her emotions away, Buffy turned to her sister. She would not let him see how much the use of her title and his tone of voice hurt her.

“Dawn…”

“Save it. I’m staying here.” Dawn interrupted. She has beyond pissed at her sister and Angel. The little scene earlier was just one more thing on a rather long list of reasons why Angel should be staked. Champion her ass, Dawn grumbled silently to herself. Champion of Hair Gell and Poofy Hair Styles is more like it.

Folding her arms over her chest, Buffy sent her hardest glare her sister’s way.

“What you did was irresponsible and childish. I don’t know what has gotten into you but it stops now.”

“What’s gotten into me is a deep desire to get as far away from you and the Scoobies as possible. I’m seventeen Buffy and if I don’t want to live with you then I don’t have too.” Dawn declared glaring right back at Buffy.

“Just because you have this idiot notion that Spike should be your eternal slave without receiving anything in return does not give you to right to act like a bitch.”

“This has nothing to do with Spike!” Buffy denied.

“Then why are you acting like the fridge bitch I know so well?” Spike asked quietly, head tilted to one side. His blue eyes were locked on to Buffy and she had to look away before he saw anything revealing.

“Well maybe if someone had let me know they were alive, things might be different.”

“Different how?” Spike asked. Buffy was completely shocked. Spike should have latched onto her comment and apologized immediately. Instead he simply looked at her with the same blank look he had greeted her with.

“Well it doesn’t matter. You never let me know. I had to find out from Wesley.”

“Surely you can understand that it was a rather difficult time for Spike. He had just been brought back to life and with visions no less. I’m positive you remember what that was like for yourself.” Wesley spoke up, surprising everyone by defending Spike.

“So? I was forcefully ripped from heaven. There is a difference.” Buffy objected dismissing any sympathy she may have for Spike. She was the betrayed one after all.

“And Spike was forcefully resurrected as well.” Dawn pointed out, daring her sister to try and argue.

“It was a bit disorientating and just a tad frightening, if anyone would like to know.” Spike commented, bringing the focus back to himself.

“Well I wasn’t in hell! Besides you don’t even remember what hell was like so it couldn‘t have been that bad.” Buffy sneered, trying desperately to hold onto her anger. She suddenly had a feeling that she had crossed a line with her last comment and that any damage done was irreparable.

It was like a dam had burst inside of him. Every emotion that Spike had been struggling to hide seemed to pour out of him. No longer was he cold or numb on the inside. Pain laced through him with an agony that rivaled his burning to death. Buffy barely held back the shocked intake of breath as Spike’s eyes fastened onto hers. What once used to be filled with adoration and love were now showing nothing but pain and loathing. She didn’t know how to react. Spike wasn’t supposed to hate her. He loved her and always came back no matter how badly she treated him. Spike was hers, even if Buffy never admitted it to anyone else.

“I was NOT in hell!” Spike roared. A deafening silence filled Angel’s office as stunned faces turned to look at the devastated blonde seer. “But I am now.”