"Oh"

“The world is blowing up
The world is caving in
The world has lost her way again
But you are here with me
But you are here with me
Makes it ok

I hear you still talk to me
As if you're sitting in that dusty chair
Makes the hours easier to bare
I know despite the years alone
I'll always listen to you sing your sweet song
And if it's all the same to you

I love you oh so well
Like a kid loves candy and fresh snow
I love you oh so well
Enough to fill up heaven overflow and fill hell
Love you oh so well

And it's cold and darkness falls
It's as if you're in the next room so alive
I could swear I hear you singing to me

I love you oh so well
Like a kid loves candy and fresh snow
I love you oh so well
Enough to fill up heaven overflow and fill hell
Love you oh so well

The world is blowing up
The world is caving in
The world has lost her way again
But you are here with me
But you are here with me
Makes it ok
Oh girl you are singing to me still
Like a kid loves candy and fresh snow
I love you oh so well
Enough to fill up heaven overflow and fill hell
Love you oh so well” Dave Mathews (“Oh” Some Devil 2003)


The car ride towards the post office was filled with an uncomfortable silence. Buffy clutched the Oracle’s gift tightly in her small hands, her knuckles turning white due to pressure. Wesley kept casting suspicious glances the slayer’s way every few minutes. He honestly did not know what to make of the situation. In his opinion, the slayer still seemed to have an unrealistic view of her former boyfriend. In her eyes he was acting out of character. To Wesley, this behavior fell into a pattern that the Los Angeles crew was all to familiar with.

“Save it Wes.” Buffy ground out after seeing Wesley’s eyes glance in her direction once again.

“And what exactly am I supposed to save?”

“Your suspicions and sly glances.” Buffy answered. “I know what your thinking and I’d like it if you stopped.”

“”Really?” Wesley asked in a dry even tone. “What exactly do you think is going on inside my head?”

Turning to face Wesley, Buffy tried to turn the full force of her glare onto a man she used to be able to intimidate with little effort. Her glare barely got acknowledged. It only served to further irritate the slayer.

“You and everyone else in L.A think I do not see Angel as he really is.” Buffy said.

“The thought may have crossed my mind.” Wesley replied. Keeping his eyes on the road, he quickly changed lanes. The turn off towards the post office was up ahead. The action provided Wesley with a convenient distraction. It also gave him a good reason to appear to be ignoring Buffy.

“Despite what everyone thinks, I know that there is something wrong with Angel.” Buffy said. “I just don’t understand why no one else is willing to see that!”

“We all know something is wrong with Angel.” Wesley responded. “His ego has either gotten the better of him or Wolfram and Hart’s influence is greater than we’ve suspected. It’s probably both.”

“How do you know it’s not Angelus trying to trick everyone?” Buffy asked. She honestly wanted to cover all areas in order to find the proper solution. If they missed something because no one was willing to dig a little deeper then more people besides Spike were going to pay the price.

“Buffy,” Wesley began, “You and I have both come face to face with Angelus and we both know that this is not the case.”

“Your right. “ Buffy sighed. “We’d all be dead or in hiding.”

Hearing the weariness in her sigh, Wesley’s heart softened towards the blonde slayer. Buffy was only trying to come to terms with some rather startling revelations. For too long she had been blinded to the reality of who Angel really was. For this, Spike had suffered for many years. Maybe if Wesley helped her understand the situation better, then when they finally found a way to save Spike, they could both sit down and actually talk to each other.

Pulling to a stop before the post office, Wesley took a deep breath. Plowing ahead into his explanation, Wesley hoped he was not making a big mistake.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After his visit from Anya, Xander had sat in the office quietly. A cold cup of coffee sat before him. It had been a few hours and Xander had not opened a single book since. His mind was filled with thoughts and memories of the past few years, all swirling around inside his head in a chaotic mess.

Xander could hardly believe all that had happened over the years. He could still remember with perfect clarity how devastated he had been when he had been forced to kill one of his best friends. For years it had been Willow, Jesse and him. Xander had felt that with those two at his side he could easily take on the world. Xander could still feel the rage that had filled him as he had watched the body of his friend dissolve into dust. He had vowed to kill each and every demon on the planet. They were evil and needed to be stop.

Looking back, Xander could easily see that that horrible event had changed him. From that moment every vampire, every demon, had become the one vicious killer who had stolen his best friend. Despite his dislike of Angel, both he and Giles and re-enforced Xander’s ideas that demons were bad and humans with souls were good.

Then Spike had rolled into town and had taken Xander’s neat little mental boxes and tossed them in the rubbish. Spike loved, laughed, and cried. He made packs with his sworn enemy to save a world he professed to like and came barreling back into town drunk and looking for ways to win his lover back. When he had been chipped Spike had sought them out for help. Sure he had sold them out to Adam but even Xander could not say that he had been surprised. Spike had never hidden the fact that he was evil. In fact he relished that fact and told them often.

Soon though, Spike was grudgingly helping them out with demons since they were the only things he could hit. Then things started to slowly change. Spike helped on his own and started trying to hang out with everyone. It had confused Xander at the time. He did not understand why Spike, who was a vampire of some renown, was actively fighting on their side. If it had been Angelus, they all would have been dead long ago.

Then Spike had declared himself “in love” with Buffy. No one had believed him, except maybe Mrs. Summers and Dawn. Though no one had wanted to listened to them. The Scoobies had banded together then. They had barred Spike from their lives and homes. He was an evil disgusting demon who could not love. He did not have a soul. Even after Glory and Buffy’s death, Xander had ignored everything in front of him. Spike was evil. End of story. He was useful in a fight and that was it. Xander hated Spike and nothing was ever going to change that.

That was the problem though. Xander could not seem to summon up the old hatred anymore. Before Anya’s visit Xander could feel the bitter hate filling him once again. That vile demon had been given a second chance and his beloved Anya was long dead. He was never getting her back. However, Xander had received a small miracle. He had been granted on last moment with his Anya and now her words of love and praise had erased those feelings angry bitter feelings. All that was left was a confused and frightened young man. Demons were supposed to be bad and humans were good. But Xander now had to acknowledge that that was not the case. Clem, Anya, Spike, and Lorne had proved that belief to be untrue. Even if Anya had been human, her thoughts and feelings had not changed.

No matter how hard he tried, Xander could not seem to get his head straight. He wanted to hate Spike. He wanted to say “he’s a demon. Let him die.” But the words dried up in his throat and all he could see was himself running after Buffy, trying desperately to stop her from killing the woman he loved. Anya had been a demon then and Xander had still begged Buffy to spare her. How was Spike’s situation any different from Anya‘s?

Shaking his head, Xander tried to clear his thoughts. Snatching up a previously unnoticed book, he began to flip through the pages. Though there was something odd abut the book. It’s pages did not seem to want to sit right. Picking the book up, Xander started to turn it over trying to see what the problem was. A dull thud caught his attention. Setting the still open book down, Xander picked up the shiny copper penny. It was an American penny and was dated 2002. Smiling, Xander stuck the penny in his pocket. Picking up the book once more, he quickly scanned the page it was open too. Rubbing his remaining eye, Xander checked the page again. Looking up at the ceiling, Xander smiled.

“Thanks Ahn.”